The Power to Choose

One spring afternoon a five-year-old was helping his dad replant some irises along the side of a sunny fence. A neighbor joined them for a few moments. Our young lad pointed to the ground. Look Daddy! What’s that? This dad stopped talking with his neighbor and looked down. A beetle. Our youngster was fascinated and pleased with the discovery of this fancy, colorful creature. The neighbor lifted his foot and stepped on the insect giving his shoe an extra twist in the dirt. That ought to do it, he laughed. The shocked boy looked up at his father, waiting for a reason. That night, just before he turned off his light for bed, our young man whispered to his father. I liked that beetle, Daddy. His father whispered back, I did too. My friends, we have the power to choose.

We have the power to choose how we will respond to every living thing that crosses our path. We have the power to love one another or not.

I am grateful to God daily for the gift of serving as his priest for thirty years. Ministry is a choice and we all have been ordained by the Good Shepherd to serve in many ways. I am aware how well each of you is serving in the following ways…

Parents respond to their daughters who suffer grand mal seizures. A nurse listens to her patient who attempted suicide on a psych unit. A social worker helps an angry child learn to find calm. The NICU nurses offer comfort to their cancer kids. Others bath a bedsore patient. A college student listens to a friend’s tale of family tensions. A retired person volunteers to bike hundreds of miles for a charity. A college student with bone cancer helps change a tire of a patient in my office parking lot. Professors and neighbors are cooking crock-pots of chili to feed hundreds of Brockport students during exam week. Ordinary, non-spectacular, run-of-the-mill behavior. But love has been chosen. These people “have laid down their loves,” have “died to self.” In short, they have loved as Jesus did, which means they chose to pay the cost.

Authentic love costs. It cost parents, nurses, professors, students and Jesus. The banner at my first Mass said: “This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you.” Well done, my friends.

Lord, I promise to continue to pray for all my Sonshine Friends who daily lay down their lives for their friends. My Anniversary Blessing upon you all for good health, wealth and happiness. May this blessing dissolve all negativity in your life and find only peace.

Blistered Hands

I was working in the garden in my iris bed. Last year, these flowers did not bloom. I was told to check for bores that get inside the root and destroy the flower. Digging through the soil was a chore that soon left blisters on my hands. The soil was hard, rocky and filled with roots from the nearby maple tree. The irises needed room to breath and I had neglected to turn over the soil and add compost which would help the irises to grow once again.

In the tragedy of Virginia Tech, how should we respond? What is the wisdom we need to gleam after this violence which simply brings to my mind the “meanness in the world.” I had witnessed this meanness in NYC after 9/11. Everyday, “meanness” smothers life. It might be more violence in Iraqi, or genocide in Darfur, or the death of an infant in NICU.

How shall we respond to meanness in our world? I would say mostly with a challenge. To do more to help the suffering. To speak up against intolerance. To organize. To protest. To write letters. To make a difference.

One thing we are good at as pastors, rabbis and pastoral ministers is knowing how to use words. Personally, I prefer to use visual images. A Virginia Tech or a Brockport or RIT student might ask how to deal with the heartbreak that “meanness” causes in the world. It might be the heartbreak of losing a family member – like your grandfather or for a patient of mine—her grandson.

I say, remember your loved ones. Remember their stories, remember their smile . . . And help those who suffer now, people you don’t know. By helping them overcome their suffering, and you will overcome your own.

Sometimes students want to know which “meanness” should they pick among the many causes in the world. Choose one, choose any one, then, inevitably, that will lead to others. For each “meaness” think of the tears the person left behind such as the parents of those who died at Virginia Tech or in NYC on 9/11, or in Sudan.

Jesus said: “I have come to bring you peace.” Many people might scream at God after such “meanness” and ask where is your love? Why is there so much suffering in the world?

I think our role in life is to go around the world and collect these tears and bring their cause to the world.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who suffer from the “meanness” in their life. Help us to choose a cause: a CROP Walk, or cooking dinner for students during Exam Week or helping our local migrants, or serving food to the poor, or praying with parents of their dying child. Pour out your healing salve to anoint our “blistered hands” which hurt from digging through the meanness in the earth. Help us to grow with Your compassionate love.

Something Beautiful

Last night, I thanked our college students for coming to Mass on such a “cruddy night.” A storm warning predicted lots of snow in April, and it was damp and raining and just plain miserable.

After the resurrection. the friends of Jesus were most likely feeling cruddy. Locked behind closed doors, they stumbled around for answers. Thomas appears to be feeling the worse holding a grudge against Jesus that he failed to keep his promise to make them leaders of his kingdom. Rather, their leader died in shame.

How many grudges do you hold against God because things have not gone your way? We remember only the cruelties of being mocked in school, or ridiculed by others, the dishonesty of colleagues, the insensitivity of our partner, the ingratitude of our children.

Then Jesus comes knocking at our door, or rather simply comes inside the room filled with a bunch of miserable, cruddy feelings. “Peace be with you,” he says and next proceeds to tell Thomas to touch him so that he might believe. Actually, the real miracle you might have missed is that Jesus forgives us when we blame Him for all our troubles. “I come to bring you peace.”

Did you know that God is trying to shape you. To do so He must remove from you all that does not look like Him—the cruddy parts of our life like impatience and grudges. Created in His image, we have a lot of baggage that needs to be removed. I speak of the things that separate us from the Lord.

Peace comes in “giving the problem" to Him. It is indeed true that God is shaping us from one image to another. In fact that is what He says. "I am changing you from one image to another." Sometimes the effects of the chisel hurts - but the results is "something beautiful"

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are feeling rather “cruddy” on a stormy morning. Sometimes we think no one appreciates or understands our efforts. By your “divine mercy” let us be transformed into “something beautiful.”

What Is Your Easter Grass?

One Easter morning a mother learned that God cares about all the seemingly unimportant details of our everyday lives. We often think of praying to God when our lives are turned upside down by a tragedy or a problem that we will never be able to fix. But God cares about the little things too.

Easter was one day away and she had yet to fill the Easter basket for her children. She got the eggs, and some small goodies, and then remembered. Easter grass! She didn’t have any! The stores were all out. She had waited too long. She returned home feeling really bad because she wanted a special basket for her children.

She prayed, "God, what am I going to do?" In her distress, and still trying to figure out how to make their basket look “grassy” she couldn’t go outside and cut some real grass because there was an inch of snow on the ground. There was a knock on the door and there stood the neighbor’s boy, with a plate of Easter cookies.

He said, "My mom thought you might like some cookies." Mom thanked the lad and her eyes popped out and filled with tears. Not so much because she had a plate of cookies, but because underneath the cookies, on the plate, were a pile of green Easter grass!

She believed she saw God smile as she took that grass and excitedly put it into her children’s basket, and filled it with chocolate treats.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends on this Easter snowy morning that says you care about the little things in our life. My image shows a real pair of mourning dove eggs in their nest protected inside the spruce tree outside my window. I pray that these eggs hatch safely from their fragile nest. For I believe that Easter is everyday because God cares about supplying Easter grass when there is none and helping my little mourning doves hatch safely. What is the Easter grass in your life? And know that God cares. A Blessed Easter!

Am I a Donkey or a Jackass?

The donkey that Jesus rode into Jerusalem was a gift a faith from some unknown farmer. Heaven knows this poor farmer could have been too busy working his land but it was his generosity and faith we need to imitate.

A donkey was a very big thing in those days. It was the equivalent of a SUV’s, RAM truck and a John Deere tractor all in one. As the SUV it moved people around a to do their shopping, as a truck it was used to carry heavy loads, and as a tractor it was used in cultivating the land. Add to this the fact that the donkey had never been ridden means it was brand new and had a very high market value.

Let me remind you that each of us has got a donkey that the Lord needs. Sadly, our response might be more in the line of a stubborn jackass.

Sometimes I get the impression that God wants me to give him something and sometimes I don't give it because I don't know for sure, and then I feel bad because I've missed my chance. Other times I know he wants something but I don't give it because I'm too selfish. And other times, too few times, I hear him and feel honored that a gift of mine would be used to carry Jesus to another place. And still other times I wonder if my little deeds will make a difference in the long haul.

In a profound meditation, Deacon Larry asked our students and faculty to reflect on three things Jesus said during his Passion. The first words were: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Then later he said to the thief on the cross, “This day you will be with me in Paradise.” And finally, hanging on the cross: “Father, into your hands I commend my Spirit.”

All of us have a donkey. You and I each have something in our lives, which, if given back to God, could, like the donkey, move Jesus and his story further down the road. However, too often we behave like a jackass. We gossip about others, or tell lies, or behave in crude ways and when we get caught we can’t sleep or eat. It is at that moment Jesus comes to our jackass and says: “Father, forgive them…”

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who feel the pain and loneliness of guilt and shame in our “jackass moments.” Help us to see the donkey inside which belongs to him. Our gifts are his as the donkey was his. So, what is the name of your donkey? The Lord has need of it.

Look of Love

And the woman looked into his eyes and saw compassion. How many times have we been caught doing the wrong thing? There’s the shame of fessing up to a loved one that we have been disloyal, not at our best or just plain stupid.

The Pharisees, the law enforcers, had a habit of trying to put Jesus in difficult situations. If he answered stone the person to death, he
would lose the name he had gained for mercy and never again would be called the friend of sinners. Second, he would come into collision with Roman law, for Jews had no power to carry out the death sentence on anyone. If he said that the sinner should be pardoned, it could immediately be said that he was teaching people to break the law of Moses, and that he was condoning and even encouraging them to sin.

So, before he answers their questions, he does a strange thing: he bends down and writes in the sand. We could conjecture from now until the end of time about why he did this and will come up with no answers.

I would propose that our Lord bent down and wrote in the sand so that he would not have to look anyone in the eye, because if he did, he knew that he would be able to read their minds. First of all, if he had looked at the woman, her eyes would have been full of shame. If he looked at the Pharisees, he would have seen anger and hatred, both for the woman and for him.

But think for a moment, what would the woman have seen in Jesus' eyes? Consider his words: "Woman, has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she answered. Jesus said, "Nor do I condemn you." If we had been there, we would have probably seen a look of forgiveness or what could be called the "look of love". What the woman would have seen would have been the eyes of compassion.

This morning we might ask ourselves: what do people see in our eyes? Do they see anger or hatred? Like the Pharisees, are we quick to cast an accusatory finger at the wrongs of another while failing to acknowledge the sins we have committed ourselves? Are we quick to point out the speck in another's eyes while failing to see the beam in our own?

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that what others see are eyes full of compassion. Help us to surrender the anger, hatred and prejudice of our past history and turn to the Lord. And once we do, then truly, others will be able to look into our eyes and see the “look of love.”

God Is In The Details

The story of the prodigal son is probably the best known of all the parables of Christ. We have heard it so often that most of us take it for granted. And so we just might miss the details, and one detail you might have missed is the crafty and cunning man who offered the son the job of tending the swine.

The unnamed man can plainly see that before him stands a Hebrew lad. He can also see what this young man is up against: no money, no friends, no place to call his own. This young man is obviously someone who is down and out, a stranger in a strange land. You can almost see the man smiling and rubbing his hands as he says, “OK, Hebrew boy it’s the pigs or nothing!”

In short, this wicked man took advantage of the son’s plight and vulnerability to alienate him from his people, his culture, his tradition, his family, his religion, and his sense of decency. Do we have people like that in our society?

In every city, you will have smiling people stalking the prodigal adolescents who get off the buses, knowing that very soon these teenagers will be desperate for food, clothing and shelter. And these smiling stalking predators, will say: “OK boys and girls: sell your body and we’ll give you something to eat. Give us your heritage, your culture, your religion, your values, all that you have been taught.” This is just one example of the pigsty solicitation that goes on everyday in our own time an, our own culture.

This predator mentality occurs on the Internet as the moral values of honesty, decency and chastity are sold down the river to sensationalism, the quick deal, violence and freewheeling sex. It happens when the athletic scout tempts high schoolers to forsake academics and share in the million sports market. It happens whenever anyone gives our young people a drink or a snort of cocaine or solicits them over the Internet.

Sadly, there are lots of people waiting too take advantage of our vulnerabilities, which ask for our heritage in exchange for momentary high. The pigsty owner in today’s parable is very much alive.

The younger son represents all the people who want no father, no one to answer to, no limits, no restraint, no relationship, no responsibility, no judgment. They wish their father—God—dead. They want to be free to do their own destructive thing.

However, let me point out one final detail. Have this image in your mind. The son is returning home, still a long way off, the father—God—does what no parent in that time would ever consider doing: the father runs to greet his son. No father in that culture would do such a thing: he would wait for the boy to come up to him, sniveling and falling at the father’s feet. But here, in a most undignified manner, the father lifts up his tunic and runs, not walks, to his son.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends parents, grandparents, extended family members who strive daily to be a good example to their children. God will be God, and we must try to do likewise. And what is the bottom line to this story, this homily? God is in the details.

I Am Going To Hell

Last evening, I drove to Buffalo at the request of a Sonshine Friend to visit her mom in a nursing home. Her mother has suffered from depression for far too long. Worse she had told her daughter that she was “going to hell.” Where did this horrible thought come from? Who had nurtured this doom in the heart of this woman of faith? I sat on one side of her wheel chair holding this woman’s hand while her daughter translated in mom’s native language this story.

On a holy card, there was a woman huddled behind a locked door, paralyzed by fear and darkness. Outside the door Jesus stands with a lantern, knocking ready to relieve this woman of her burden. But there’s a hitch: this door only has a knob on the inside. Jesus cannot enter unless the woman unlocks the door from her side. The implication here is that God cannot help unless we first let God in. For our fearful mom, this will not work because “in her mind” she is going to hell.

I believe that many of us face crosses like this fearful mother when we are paralyzed by some sin and overcome by darkness that we can no longer help ourselves. I believe at this moment God comes through our locked doors, (our minds burning with images of hell) to stand inside our fears and paralysis, and breathe out peace.

The love that is revealed in Jesus’ suffering and death is so other-centered that it can forgive and embrace its executioners, passed through locked doors, melt frozen hearts, and penetrate the walls of fear. In a word, it can descend into our private hells and breathe peace.

I anointed this tortured soul with the Sacrament of the Sick and gave her Holy Communion. And then I asked her a simple question. Do you believe that Jesus loves you? And she smiled, “yes.” At one point, she asked, “Where is Jesus?” I told her in the voice of her daughter translating the words of peace to her heart. Then she smiled and said, “I believe.”

Here is the key. When your thoughts go off into darkness because you think you cannot be forgiven of your sins. “He descended into hell,” means that there is no hell where Jesus cannot, will not. be. Why, they haven’t invented the hell where his love cannot penetrate. They haven’t built the door that his love cannot pass through.

I have no doubt that when this woman goes home to God she will wake up on the other side and find Christ standing inside her fear and darkness, breathing out peace. “He descended into hell” simply means that Jesus’ love is there in the worst places of our lives.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who fear that that they are going to hell. Come at this moment with your lantern of hope and unlock our fear and darkness. Come and bless these little ones with your healing and peace.

Who Lights Up Our Face?

Once in a while, perhaps in a rare moment when we are very much discouraged or overwhelmed, we deeply encounter the Lord in prayer, or we meet a kind and understanding person who lights up our face with the warmth of understanding and kind love. Such moments can keep us going for a long time.

Last week, a Sonshine Friend developed complications and required major surgery to correct a blockage. I called a long-time physician late at night and he took the time to explain the treatment, which brought light to the subject and settled my worst fears.

There is a distinguished professor who finds the time to light up my day by offering his support and prayers in my ministry. I know when he speaks; it is more than words for he speaks from his heart.

You know, you are a very important person and I would miss you dearly if something happened to you. Do you know that? Do you really know that you do matter? There are so many with whom I counsel that say they know it, but I feel they know it in their "mind" and not their "heart" It is the heart that matters.

It may not seem to matter if we do what we are supposed to do, but it does matter to God. You matter to God. You are very important to Him. In fact, you are very precious to Him.

Pray and reflect: “When they call to me, I will answer them; I will be with them in trouble, I will rescue them and honor them.” Psalm 91:15.
This tells me that I matter to God. That makes you a very important person. In the music of life, do not fail to make your part of the melody.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are very important. May they do their part in making beautiful music...right where they are, right where they work, right where they live. May this one take courage in knowing that you are aware of them.

Bathing in Forgiveness

Once again, I had a college sophomore in my office looking for help with his career. He talked about dropping out of college after failing to complete last semester taking five incompletes. But he had another agenda in mind, which I did not hear about until weeks later.

He admitted that he had using marijuana daily for several years. Then he got involved with cocaine which he started using every other week. He was not only afraid of the law, but afraid that he get tossed out of school if he didn’t flunk out first.

This young man asked: “Supposing there is a God, would he accept a man like me?” I did not hesitate to answer him for I preparing a Lenten Penance Service homily on Matthew’s gospel, last verse. “For I have come to call not the righteous but sinners,” (Matt 9:13).

I shared this verse with him, but his mind was obsessed with all the sins he had committed, and so I countered with Matthew’s words again: “I have come to call not the righteous but sinners.”
No less than seventeen times did this student try to explain to me why he was unworthy to receive forgiveness. Seventeen times, I simple repeated the words, “I have come to call not the righteous but sinners.” I don’t know if I wore him down, but finally he bowed his head, cried a little and asked me, Would you hear my confession? I want to come home.

This young person is back in school trying to complete his degree and he got what he really did want: forgiveness, peace and a return to his true home. And there he was and all students of the Lord in my mind’s eye: at the table with Matthew, college students, professors, parents, colleagues, CEO’s, pilots, crewmembers, that greedy tax collectors, sinners---AND Jesus.

Sometimes I see humanity as a sea of people starving for affection, tenderness, care, love, acceptance, forgiveness…everyone seems to cry, “Please, love me.”

The story of Matthew says that there stands Jesus ready to do so. As Mother Teresa said of the lepers she treated, “We have drugs for people with diseases like leprosy, but these drugs do not treat the main problem, the disease of being unwanted.” And there stands Jesus who does want us, disease and all.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends who have felt the pain of rejection from their family and friends but NEVER from your arms and voice. Let us humbly bring our weaknesses before your altar and bathe in your Spirit of healing and forgiveness. Peace to all my Sonshine Friends.

Corrupted Files

Last night, I was downloading my memory card with some stunning winter scenes. Hpwever, an “error message” read you have “corrupted files.” This means I missed a step in downloading a new file. There’s no forgiveness in learning new software. However, thank God I have backup from Sonshine Friends Denise, Louis and Jen who patiently teach the ways of MAC and Nikon digital.

Luke’s version of the Sermon on the Plain Jesus teaches: “Love your enemies.” A moral teaching way outside our range of possibility. So I need your “corrupted brain” to put on the “Hebrew brain” to understand what these words actually mean, “to love your enemies, to do good to those you hate you, not to resist evil, if somebody slaps you on one cheek, offer the other?”

Last night, I challenged my college students that violence occurs on campus. There are incidents when a student is beaten up or raped. If one suffers a broken jaw or a victim of trauma, how does one “Love your enemies.” Does this mean not to resist people who are evil? If someone hits the right side of the jaw of a student, does he offer the left side of the face? Is that what Jesus meant for him to do?”

Before our Christian brain registers an “error message” about loving enemies you have to think like a Hebrew. You get into trouble if you take it literally. You have to understand Aramaic or Jewish slang in order to understand what was being said.

The key verse is this: “Be compassionate as your heavenly father is compassionate.” Be compassionate to evil and sinful people as your heavenly father is compassionate to you. All the verses from this section are to be interpreted through the lens of this key verse.

Slapping you on the right cheek was Hebrew slang for exchanging insults. If somebody insults you, don’t insult them back. Don’t exchange insults. Don’t trade insult for insult. Be compassionate to them. Be good to your insulters. That is what this Aramaic phrase means. It doesn’t have anything to do with exchange harsh blows to the face.

Jesus is inviting his disciples to be generously compassionate and forgiving as his heavenly father is generously compassionate and forgiving. Such an idea was very radical. Do good to those that hate you.

Lord, I pray for my Sonshine Friends who get an “error message” about their moral life that sound off pitch or an octive too high. You want us to look through the lens and set our sights on simply being compassionate, not cruel to other; forgiving, not holding grudges; generous, not selfish with our material gains; understanding, not nasty to our soldiers who defend our freedoms. As we begin another Lenten Season, may the Spirit inspire us, motivate us, and lift us up to be much more compassionate to those who hurt us, just as God is compassionate to people like us. To those people who do us evil, we return an act of kindness rather than an act of revenge.

How Many Valentine Did You Give Today?

The weather forecasts more sub zero days and blowing snows, but I thought the following story would be helpful to celebrate Saint Valentine's Day.

Little Chad was a shy, quiet young man. One day he came home and told his mother that he'd like to make a valentine for everyone in his class. She thought, "I wish he wouldn't do that!" because she had watched the children when they walked home from school. Her Chad was always behind them. They laughed and hung on to each other and talked to each other. But Chad was never included. Nevertheless, she decided she would go along with her son. So she purchased the paper and glue and crayons. For three weeks, night after night, Chad painstakingly made 35 valentines. Valentine's Day dawned, and Chad was beside himself with excitement. He carefully stacked them up, put them in a bag, and bolted out the door.

His mother decided to bake him his favorite cookies (comfort food) and serve them nice and warm with milk when he came home from school. She just knew he would be disappointed and maybe that would ease the pain a little. It hurt her to think that he wouldn't get many valentines - maybe none at all.

That afternoon she had the cookies and milk on the table. When she heard the children outside, she looked out the window. Sure enough, there they came, laughing and having the best time. And, as always, there was Chad in the rear. He walked a little faster than usual. She fully expected him to burst into tears as soon as he got inside. She noticed that his arms were empty, and when the door opened, she choked back the tears. "Mommy has some cookies and milk for you," she said. But he hardly heard her words. He just marched right on by, his face aglow, and all he could say was: "Not a one. Not a one." Her heart sank. And then he added, "I didn't forget a one, not a single one!"

Here was a boy who was measuring love not by what he received, but by what he gave. How many of us can say that we did the same last week?

But that is the whole point: when we meet our maker, God will not ask us how many cards we received, but how many we gave to others.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that we treat each other with compassion. Let us help to give each other the “benefit of the doubt.” No, it is never easy to love others who do not care for us. But there is only one way to learn: practice, practice, practice. Valentine’s Day is a good day to begin.

Daffodil Principle

Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are over. It was a two-hour drive but she promised her daughter and reluctantly drove through the fog. However, when she was welcomed by the joyful sounds of happy children. She delightedly hugged and greeted her grandchildren and quit her moaning.

Forget the daffodils, she told her daughter. The road is invisible in these clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see badly enough to drive another inch! Her daughter smiled calmly and said, "We drive in this all the time, mother. We're going to see the daffodils. It's just a few blocks." Her mother was anxious and begged to turn around, but her daughter drove and reassured her that she would never forgive herself if she missed this experience.

The family turned onto a small gravel road and saw a small church. On the far side of the church, a hand lettered sign with an arrow read, "Daffodil Garden." As the kids got out of the car, grumpy grandma took a child's hand, and followed her daughter down the path. As she turned a corner, she looked up and gasped. Before her lay the most glorious sight. It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic and swirling patterns.

On the patio, they saw a poster. "Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking", was the headline. The first answer was a simple one. "50,000 bulbs," it read. The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and one brain." The third answer was, "Began in 1958."

For this mother, that moment was a life-changing experience. She thought of this woman whom she had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun, one bulb at a time, to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop. Planting one bulb at a time, year after year, this unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. One day at a time, she had created something of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration.

That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time--often just one baby-step at time--and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world ... with the help of God.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who look back and wonder what they might have accomplished if they had thought of a goal and worked "one bulb at a time" through all the years? Instead of regret, why not simply "start today."

Homesick Restaurant

I just preached the following story this weekend and the response had been most humbling. My story was based on a novel by Anne Tyler Dinner entitled "The Homesick Restaurant." The family in her story was not ideal. The mother was explosive and vindictive. The father abandoned his kids when young. The children fought tooth and nail and carried grudges and resentment into their adult years. Sadly, this might describe a few Christmas family gatherings a few weeks ago.

The hero in our story is Ezra, a son who loves to cook. He gets a job in Mrs. Scarlotti's Italian restaurant. Mrs. Scarlotti becomes fond of young Ezra and in time turns her restaurant over to him. Ezra tries to revamp the menu and change the ambiance of the restaurant. He comes up with the idea of the Homesick Restaurant because he believes that everybody is homesick for something, some dish that mother used to make or some regional or ethnic food that reminds them of who they are, that reminds them of home.

I want to suggest on another cold, snowy morning that you remember what food from home made you feel warm inside. Those tasty carbs like mash potatoes with gravy, or homemade scones or chicken soup might help relieve the cold. You might call it your "comfort food." It has a special place in your memory and when you eat it you feed a spiritual yearning for something that is lost, or for something that has never been found. Anne Tyler wrote, "It's not only pot roast...(my comfort food) It’s something more...it's more like... what you long for when you're sad and everything's been wearing you down."

Many times Jesus was harassed by some who would make any one of us feel sad. He had moments when everyone had been wearing him down. You know this feeling as being treated unfairly or misunderstood or taken for granted. Sadly, it might come from your own family members whose jealousy or envy make us cringe. So we climb into ourselves and look for a quiet place to retreat and rest from all the back stabbing comments that make us feel miserable.

At a time when everyone had been wearing him down, Jesus craved a meal, the Passover meal captured the essence of his faith, of our faith. The Passover meal recalled God's promise that God will always be faithful to Israel, will never abandon Israel and will always lead them, lead us, into freedom. When Jesus shared that meal, it was like home for him.

Home is the place we are all looking for when life wears on us. It's that place we are really homesick for; where God can touch our lives with a promise that he will he will never abandon us. To have that promise renewed is like going home. No matter where you are in your life, no matter how far you are from home, no matter how far you think you are from God, when you share this meal, you are home.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are feeling sad and everything seems to be wearing them down. Come to your Homesick Restaurant. It may be just down the street from where you live. It’s your local worship community This is what you've been looking for. This is what you have been longing for. You may not have even realized it. But, this is home, around this table, with Christ as your host and with a new family of believers who practice that love that Jesus lived. This is home.

The Coffee Cup

A dedicated, wise professor shared this profound story. Once there was a group of alumni, highly established in their careers, who got together to visit their old college professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in their workplace and home life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling his friends to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the wise professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this: life is the coffee; the cups are jobs, money and position in society. The cups are just tools to hold and contain life. The type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of the life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us. God brews the coffee, not the cups.......... Enjoy your coffee!"

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who worry too much about the cups they hold in their hands. We complain or fret too much about our jobs, or the lack of money in our paycheck, or the disappointments that we were overlooked for a promotion or worst let go during a merger. Help us to look within ourselves and see the coffee that tastes of kindness, forgiveness and courage. You know that the happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

Stillness

Be very still. This little blue heron has his eye on some breakfast. Notice at this precise moment, he has become very still not to alert the fish. swimming under the algae. I'm writing these words at 6:00 in the morning. The room is quiet. The air outside is still and clear and the weather report is to brace for an afternoon ice storm. But the only sound is the thumping on my keyboard. I praying for Rosalie and Roger, Natalie and Jim, Penny and Roger in Alaska who emailed that it's 10 below zero in Eagle River, Alaska.

I have learned a lot about being still. I told someone that we live in a microwave world. By that I mean we want everything right away.

I know you have heard the joke. The clerk said, "When do you want it?" Answer: "Yesterday". Well, that sorta sums up our attitude just about everything.

But, as I was saying, what I have learned is there is so much good from being still. Let me be the first to say that "it is hard" to just be still. But, it is in the quietness of life that strength is had. In the noise and confusion of our living we are easily made victims of discouragement and defeat.

In Numbers 13:30 the verse prays: "And Calab stilled the people before Moses and said, 'Let us go up at once, and possess it; for we are well able to overcome it.'"

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends to remember in the quietness comes our strength. You can overcome whatever obstacles or icicles you face this week. This is not to say that all will be changed immediately. But it is to say that your negative attitude and being weighed down by the confusion and problems will be lessened.

The Hand of God

When Mary told her son at the wedding that "they have no more wine." It more likely was a mom’s way of saying to her son: "they have no spirit." Her comment often understood as her way of nudging her son to do something "the first miracle" might also be interpreted as a profound observation that many folks including my Sonshine Friends are feeling "washed-out" after another hectic holiday feeling. You might refer to this feeling as burn-out, fatigue or worse a chronic medical condition like fibromylgia.

My next door neighbor Tony raised grapes in his backyard. In the fall, the smell of the grapes riping on the vine made me think I was living in Napa Valley not Irondequoit. I came upon a photo of my dear friend holding his precious fruit and offer this five-finger prayer for you this morning to relive your spirit with the hand of God.

Your thumb is nearest you. So begin your prayers by praying for those closest to you. They are the easiest to remember. To pray for our loved ones is, as C. S. Lewis once said, a "sweet duty."
The next finger is the pointing finger. Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal. This includes teachers, doctors, and ministers. They need support and wisdom in pointing others in the right direction. Keep them in your prayers.

The next finger is the tallest finger. It reminds us of our leaders. Pray for our spiritual and government leaders, corporate leaders and administrators. These people shape our communities and guide our schools. They need God's guidance.

The fourth finger is our ring finger. Surprising to many is the fact that this is our weakest finger, as any piano teacher like Penny will testify. It should remind us to pray for those who are weak, in trouble or in pain. They need your prayers day and night. You cannot pray too much for them.

And lastly comes our little finger - the smallest finger of all which is where we should place ourselves in relation to God and others. As the Bible says, "The least shall be the greatest among you." Your pinkie should remind you to pray for yourself. By the time you have prayed for the other four groups, your own needs will be put into proper perspective and you will be able to pray for yourself more effectively.

I believe we have great power in our fingertips. The strength of the Lord is ours for the asking. Pray and reflect: "I can do all things as Jesus gives me power to so do." (Phil. 4:13)

Lord, I pray for my Sonshine Friends that you give them the power to turn to you when they can no longer shoulder their problems alone. When our "spirits run dry" may we surrender to God’s hand and allow his strength to bring peace and calm.

Resolutions

Yesterday, newspapers were full of individual and collective new year resolutions. Most of those, however, are not resolutions at all but only wishes. What is the difference between a resolution and a wish? A wish identifies a goal one wants to reach, a resolution specifies the steps one will take to reach it.

A wish says this is where I want to be, a resolution says this is the road I will take, this is what I will do to get there. The wishful person says "I will lose some weight to feel healthier this year" and the resolved person says "I will find a buddy who wants to take a walk with me for an hour daily to improve my sleep and feel more refreshed." The wishful student says "I will pass my exams this semester" and the resolved student says "I will devote an extra hour to my studies everyday in order to pass my exams." The wishful parent says "I will have more peace in my family this year" and the resolved parent says "I will spend more time with my family at the table instead of rushing off to the TV or computer." The wishful person says "I will live a life closer with God" and the resolved person says "I will set aside this time everyday to pray and hear God's word." The difference between wishing and resolving is: are we prepared to do what it takes to make our dreams come true?

I always wanted to take photos of the giant sequoia trees in California. A resolved person says "I will spend time with a mentor each week to learn the best digital landscape techniques and plan a trip to visit the sequoia." A National Park ranger was taking visitors through the forest and she remarked that the roots of the sequoia are very shallow. That was a surprise to me. How in the world could such gigantic trees stand up with shallow roots? The first strong wind would knock them over like bowling pins. However, the ranger pointed out that sequoias interconnect their roots and their branches so that when there is a fierce wind they interlock and support each other. That's why they don't fall.

Whenever we fell helpless or tied in knots about any decision this year we might wish that God would spare us another hardship. The resolved person will talk out their fears to God and spend time listening to what God has to say about our situation. At that moment you must pray for the mind of Christ in the decision.

Sometimes all we do is pick up the cell, read out our list of problems to God and drop the phone without listening to hear what God has to say to us. This year, resolve to listen more to the voice of God, so that at the end of the year you will say, "This has been the Lord’s doings and it is marvelous in our eyes." This comes when we surrender our will and only after praying and living "Thy will be done".

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends to spend time each morning to listen to Your voice so that "Thy will be done." As you gaze upon the roots of this photo with its intertwining roots. may you clearly see God’s will and find comfort and peace.

Christmas Angel

I just completed teaching 3 seminars yesterday on various topics such as Drug and Alcohol, Sleep Disorder and Holiday Blues. One young employee came up after class to share that the last six months of her life have been the most difficult since she was diagnosed with Lupus. However, her attitude was stunning.

She shared with the class that before she worked at her new employer she was a special education teacher. She taught a class of six students. It was a separate class of behavioral disorders, bright children but troubled. That year after struggling to get through the first half of the year she came close to leaving. She felt that she was not getting through to the children and the parents showed her no support. Now Johnny was a very smart boy but he never listened and he was spending his second year in her K-2 classroom. She suspected that he was being abused but the evidence was circumstantial. After 3 months of constant struggles with him she was ready to send him away for vacation and enjoy her time off. Before he left he gave her a used coffee mug as a gift with an angel on the front. She asked him why he choose an angel. He put his hand on her shoulder and simply said, "Miss Smith, you are my angel and I love you." All this time she thought that she was not getting through to him, but deep down she learned that she was his only stability. This one statement made the struggles worth all the hassle of the year.

Now she has a new struggle with Lupus. But she has chosen to fill her "angel cup" not with fear or complaints about her physical condition. Instead, she fills the cup with kind words and encouragement to help others like her cell phone customers solve their problems with their baffling phones.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that you bring them an angel with a message of "good news’ that offers courage to their baffling struggles and profound peace to their hearts. A Blessed Christmas to all my Sonshine Friends.

A Season of Hope

“We are never as tall as when we are on our knees.” My friend had just reached a milestone in his life. He had sixty days of sobriety. He shared this remark about feeling tall when he realized that after a lifetime of drinking his sobriety was the result of letting go. There are times he goes off into the “wilderness” meaning he reverts back to the cranky, negative patterns that make his loved ones want to hide. But he catches himself by calling his sponsor or better yet he has a good person he met in group who has been sober for twenty-three years and they talk about how he is feeling and redirect his thoughts in a more hopeful manner.

Remember Ebenezer on his knees, shivering with fright on Christmas morning after his visits from the three spirits. Ebenezer on his knees woke up from his nightmare, threw open the windows and shouted out into the street: “What day is this? Is it Christmas Day? Have I missed it? O, Thank God, it is Christmas Day, and there is time for me to visit the Crotchet’s and bring them the biggest turkey in town and hold Tiny Tim.”

I want you to realize that there was no Christmas morning ..... without the night before Christmas ..... without the ghosts of Christmas that confront us and cleanse us from our sin which is deep within. It is only as we are freed from that sin which is deep within that we experience the joy of Christmas morning.

For Catholics, Vatican II has restored the meaning of Advent from a season of penance and conversion into its original purpose: a time of hope. This is a time we can invite Jesus into our inner pain and pray that he dispose us to make the conversion into a person of peace and responsibility. However, like my sober friend realized, we all need conversion, of course, but we need especially hope. To deepen that hope, we have to learn to see the signs that this hope is already present among us. Let our Lord open our eyes to these signs.

I emailed a holiday message to all my patients this morning that included 12 Free Holiday Gifts. One suggestion was the “Gift of Gratitude.” It is our opportunity to thank the people who helped us throughout the year. In the past weeks my computer was “corrupted” or as a Sonshine Friend shouted: “You have what we call ‘the blue screen from hell.’” It took over 30 hours and four learned technicians to get Sonshine back online. But I am very grateful to Stan and Louis and Dave and Georgia for all their help. When you are “corrupted,” who comes to your rescue to get you back online. That’s the person you might want to thank.

Pray and reflect: “The Lord has done great things for us; we are filled with joy. Those who sow in tears shall reap rejoicing. (Psalm 126:1-6).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that you give them the courage to go off into the wilderness and look deep within. We are grateful for Your mercy that breathes new life into our souls which have been “corrupted” by injustice, impatience, or anger. May Advent be our season of Hope as we prepare to meet You on Christmas morning.

Learn to Forgive

Becky gives birth to twins three months premature. Her little boy, she names Ryan is only 1.1 pound. Her daughter she will call Natalie is 2.7 pounds. Natalie is holding her own, but the doctors are very concerned about Ryan’s survival. His lungs are not developed and he has a poor prognosis. This mother is bitter and resentment at God for letting this happen to her. She can never forgive God.

Why should I forgive when someone else is in the wrong and this includes God? I recently saw a quote from Pema Chodron that said: “holding a grudge is like eating rat poison and expecting the rat to die.” This message unveils a myth when we get angry about things we have no control. The truth is, there is no personal advantage to holding a grudge–anytime, or for any reason. Why? Because we are the ones who suffer, not the people we’re mad at.

Betsie Ten Boom, who died in a concentration camp, refused to hate the guards who beat her and eventually beat her to death. Her dying words are both simple and profound: "We must tell others what we have learned here. We must tell them that there is no pit so deep that God is not deeper still." That is incredible. The forgiveness of Calvary in the twentieth first century!

Such courage in the face of overt hatred makes our petty differences just that - petty! If people who suffered such atrocies had the "heart" to forgive, then why can't we? I'm sure that I can safely say that there is no one who has not been hurt by others at some point in their lives. A spouse has walked out of our lives. Children have disappointed us. Parents have abused us. Friends have betrayed us. The company to which we gave so much devotion has downsized us without notice, leaving us unemployed and bitter. We have been refused promotion. We have been treated unfairly. There's a host of deep and abiding hurts in the personal histories of most of us. Pain and hurt is part of the human condition. Others hurt us even when they don't realize it, let alone when they intend to do so.

But forgiveness is hard, isn't it? To consciously break the vicious cycle of “revenge and a grudge” is not easy. Some people will say that “they have the right to be angry.” And of course, they would be right, but by forgiving we free up our energy to remain compassionate toward others and at peace within ourselves.

Anybody would find it difficult to put up with the “unfairness” of life. But the point is that we are not just anybody. We are called to be a reconciling community, a community that was born out of Calvary's forgiveness. And why should we forgive? Well, it turns out that forgiveness of others is a condition for our own forgiveness. We must remember that we were commanded to pray to the Father with the words: "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." As Christians, we have to forgive one another. In order to do that, we have to look at the cross and repeat the words that Jesus used to forgive us: "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends whose memories of past hurts and pain bind them to anger and revenge. May Your desire to forgive our trespasses inspire our efforts to be like leaves that fall along the river that carry away our hatred and refresh our spirit with Your divine compassion and inner peace.

Black Friday Bazaar

It’s 5am and the exit ramp at Hylan Drive is backed-up a mile. Turning into the parking lot, the cars are already parked out to the street. Just inside the front doors of Best Buy one can see the mob cradling boxes of LCD’s, DVD recorders and the newest I-Pod. Once again on Black Friday 2006, the day after Thanksgiving, this store has customer service staff dressed in blue shirts like a battalion of “blue angels” helping the “mob” of desperate shoppers to find a bargain. These angels are slick. With attached earphones, they are busy finding your treasure or directing traffic to check-out. The check-out line resembles a Disney ride at Epcot, One has to follow a series of roped lanes that weave you between rows of vacuum cleaners, washers and dryers and finally up against refrigerator row. Waiting in line, I can’t help to marvel at all the “loot” people are pushing along the floor like their 40 inch LCD TV or crates of CD’s and DVD’s or a shopping cart loaded with a flat panel monitor. While waiting, there is music not Georgian chant but classical rock. Our “blue angels” are busy handing out I-Pods screaming: “Get the newest I-Pod of the season for only 49.95!” In which I overhear a disgruntled buyer tell her friend: “Sucked you in-- did they.” I’m a tad embarrassed since I don’t know anything about I-Pods. Do they do laundry?

It’s interesting to observe the people walking along the crowded aisles with cell phone in one hand and merchandise in the other. At 5:15 in the morning, are they calling their dispatchers at home or an anonymous bidder from Antique Roadshow?

Screaming was heard from the electronics counters, I think its has something to do with limited quantities and everyone at the desk wants “to deal” or get a raincheck or voucher. Getting people to buy more than what’s on their list or the illusion that sale prices only occur once a year on Black Friday at 5am is a myth.

At the check-out, there was a ”blue angel” standing on a platform like air traffic control directing traffic to the next open register. By this time, people were impatient telling clerks that their electronic item was on sale, only to be told by the computer: “not this brand or model or without a voucher.” A frenzy would develop and the “security blue angels” were despatched to break up a riot. Imagine, all this rutting for a Kodak Easy Share or LCD?

It suddenly dawned on me that the real sale folks had missed was not the newest I-Pod you plug in your ear. Rather, this kingdom was filled with empty promises. I saw no ads for any new cures, no lasting happiness, no peace of mind. I wondered after browsing the sales in aisle one, if there were really any bargains. Though as I stood in line with “Home Alone” under my arm, I wondered if I should have bought that DVD video recorder for $89.95.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who brave the endless shopping rituals of the season. Let them realize the real “bargains” are found in the boxes that hold memories we spend with family and friends. Give us the grace to let go of the cravings for more and portions that add on pounds and clutter. Let us nibble more on “good sweets” when we pet our “best friend” or relax with our friends.

Jesus is So Good!

Thanksgiving Mass tends to draw together a core group of the most committed parishioners. If they do not have out of town commitments, they will be at this Mass. However, one person is conspicuously absent this year. Last week she went into the hospital for a knee operation and is at the beginning of a lengthy recuperation process. She is one of the “cleaning ladies’ who helps dust and mop the church during the week.

Karen is a beautiful example of simple gratitude. When I talked to her after the operation, she was in a fair amount of discomfort and pain, but her remark was, "Jesus is so good." It wasn't an offhand comment, but from the depths of her being. In saying, "Jesus is so good," Karen summed up the spirit of Gospel:

"I give you thanks, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for you have hidden these things from the learned and clever and revealed them to the merest children." (Matt 11:25)

What is the difference between the clever--the worldly wise--and children? Clever people are always looking for some novelty whereas little children are delighted by repetition. Once a dad shared this simple experience with his child. He had brought a few toys, but what his little girl liked best was when he took a crumbled piece of paper, placed it on his head, counted to three and let it fall. She would laugh in delight each time it fell. When dad got tired and wanted to do something else, she would pick up the paper and hand it to him to “play it again.”

Children do not get bored by repetition. Nor would we if we re-learned the secret Jesus is talking about. That secret is what enables a child to say, "Do it again."

Our celebration of Thanksgiving Day can help us understand that delight. We look forward to Thanksgiving because certain things are the same--the turkey, the cranberry sauce and so on. But in the context of that sameness we are able to welcome new people or discover something about someone we already know.

The key to all this is that simplicity of heart which Jesus extols. It's that kind of simplicity that enables someone like Karen to say, "Jesus is so good." I don't think we realize what a radical virtue heartfelt thanksgiving really is. The grateful person is thankful for everything one has received - and therefore can open their heart to others.

What we need is a Copernican Revolution in our way of thinking. Copernicus was the Polish astronomer who posited that the sun does not make a circle around the earth, but that the earth revolves around the sun. Our lack of gratitude comes when we think that things revolve around us; we can even view God as one more object out there orbiting us. We need to recognize the truth--that God is the center and everything we have comes from him. When we do that, our stance is simple gratitude. Jesus is so good.

Lord, I promise to pray for all my Sonshine Friends on Thanksgiving Day for their kindness and love. I wish you all a beautiful Thanksgiving day.

Where is God in All this Evil?

I asked my college students: "What is evil?" After the obvious answers like drugs and cancer, a young lady shouted: "papers!" I imagine her professors would respond back: " correcting your papers!" Evil is as devastating as a layoff during the holidays or as hurtful as a seperation, or as senseless as a hit and run on St. Paul Street or another murder in the city.

It seems almost everywhere we are faced with its terrible reality. From where we stand it seems to be the end of the world. We feel scared, unsafe, on edge in an unpredictable world. We no longer feel secure from terrorists, family betrayals, or sudden, unexpected violence as we keep looking over our shoulders. We silently ask the question: “Where is God in all this evil?” We come to church or worse stopped coming to church because we had hoped to catch an answer and if there isn’t, we want to know “Where do we go from here?”

There is no simple answer to questions of God’s presence where evil so brazenly stalks us. However, I believe God unleashes a power to redeem what evil has spoiled. But here’s the catch, God has chosen to exercise this power through the most unlikely of creatures, that is, flawed human beings. Because of this tactic, it may sometimes appear as if God is losing the battle.

Everyday there are people who show us the way God is present in an evil world. It has always been this way but “rarely reported by the media.” The truth is that in this world of spectacular evil, God’s presence is silently here, only it’s unspectacular.

God’s daily presence are the volunteers who serve a Thanksgiving meal to the homeless, or a nurse at your bedside, or a family caregiver taking care of their parent with Alzheimer’s or a hug to our step-child. I told our college students that during their Thanksgiving break the "good" they can perform might be an offer to help with the dishes or play with their brothers and sisters or tell their parents that they missed them and thank them for all the care packages.

When you get a sense of being overwhelmed by so much evil, remember that like so many hobbits, there are countless, nameless people tunneling under the landside of evil. One day, they will break through. For in times of evil, the answer to the question “Where is God?” Softly, quietly, faithfully, your life, your deeds give the answer: “Here I am.”

Pray and reflect: ” My plans for you are peace and not disaster. When you call to me, I will listen to you and I will bring you home.”

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who have suffered evil in its many forms. Stay with us with your love and kindness. Stay with us when comes the night of affliction and fear, the night of doubt and temptation, the night of painful death. Stay with us and all who are yours in time and in eternity.

Reflections of Love

Earlier this autumn, Maria and Sandro asked me if I would preside at their wedding, I wondered what could a celibate priest possibly say to them or their many friends who struggle with making a life long promise. Sadly, the most difficult part of my counseling day is listening to a litany of hurt and pain caused by broken promises. 40% of marriages result in separation and divorce only create a emptiness that takes years to heal. So let me adjust your focus on this sacrament and get down to eye level and share what married folk probably already know whether you been married one or fifty years.

I have an idea what a good marriage means and it has nothing to do with the number of cars in your driveway, the neighborhood you live in and the length and breath of your plasma TV. Let’s get real, your expectations of marriage were false to start out with. You only thought you knew everything about the person you married. Just like my camera, I’m still learning what all the bells and whistles are all about and when I switch to digital the learning will continue.

In thirty years of counseling couples, they have taught me a most profound truth about family and failure and promises. When a promise is broken, the promise still remains. In one way or another, we are all unfaithful to each other. We do break our most solemn promises, and sometimes we break them when we don't even realize it. I believe that a spouse can look at the long years of their marriage with gratitude, and hope for many more, only when one accepts their failures.

There have been times when a partner gets so angry or so hurt that we think our love will never recover. And then, in the midst of near despair, something happens beneath the surface. A bright little flash of hope and the water is bright and suddenly we are returned to a state of love again--till next time.

When I get angry with a shot that was blurred, it most likely means I should have used a tripod to hold the camera steady. In marriage, one learns that there will be a next time if we remember that in times of darkness we won't stay submerged. And each time something has been learned under the waters; when we acted foolish something has been gained; and a new kind of love has grown. The best we can ask for is that this love, which has been built on countless failures will continue to grow. We can say no more than that this is mystery, and gift, and that somehow or other, through grace, our failures can be redeemed and blessed.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that they remember their vows and know their broken promises can lead them to a deeper blessing. May we reflect a faith that rejoices in the healing we find in our frailties and failures.

Softly and Tenderly

There is an old hymn that has these lyrics: “Softly and Tenderly Jesus is calling me home.” Recently , a faithful Sonshine friend retired and as a gift I bought her a CD with this hymn. Little did I realize that the song brought back memories of her mother who used to sing this hymn in her home. My Sonshine friend remembered something that has stuck in her memory after many years. Her mom said: If you keep in touch with me, I’ll let you know that I’m OK.” How her mom would keep her promise she has no idea. Yet, throughout the years when she had suffered some deep, spiritual darkness, her mother indeed came back in a way that reminded her that she would be fine. Whether it came when she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis or when she could no longer perform her job or when her legs failed to carry her, or strength left her–such losses would have put anyone of us into a severe depression. Instead, she would pray for a sign to her dear mom for strength and protection.

On this particular morning, she played the CD with Andy Griffith singing that old gospel hymn “Softly and Tenderly.” She received a call informing her that she qualified for a low income grant that would pay for a new furnace and hot water tank. Doesn’t seem like much, but just prior to that phone call she was ready to sign a contract with a heating company to install a new heating system. The words of her mom came back at that exact moment: “You’ll be fine.”

This Sunday, we prayed for over 600 family and friends that you submitted online. Let me ask you this morning to look at what you have left in your life; never look at what you have lost. At a time of sorrow you feel overwhelmed and swamped by the pain and grief that you are not even conscious of the joys that still are alive deep under that blanket of grief. Determine to uncover your smothered joys and let them breathe and flourish again! There are many things that you are still thankful for, even though you do not feel your gratitude. Begin by reminiscing. Relive your happy memories. Treat yourself to replays of that great collection of joyful experiences that have occurred in your past. There are many wonderful things that have happened to you in life.

When sorrow drowns you, pray softly: “The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures. Near restful waters he leads me, to revive my drooping spirit.” Psalm 23.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who find it hard to hear the voices of their loved one. Help us to count our gardens by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Help us to count our life with smiles, not tears. Help us to count our age by friends, not by years. Help us to listen softly and tenderly to Your voice that brings us home to a place where our sorrows and pain dissolve and our hope and courage is reborn with healing waters and Your promise of eternal life.

Shut My Mouth

Letty felt awful because her dentures were not fitting right. After three visits to her oral surgeon, he said he refund half her money or make a new plate. In a playful tone of voice, she told me: “Maybe, I should just shut my mouth.” Counseling seniors is a joy because their multiple sufferings of lost or pain or disease has taught them to become resilient.

My friend shared a story about her next door neighbor Mrs Bloomfield whose washer had broke down. The neighbor told the repairman that the house key would be under the front door mat and when done to put the key and bill back in the same place. One warning about her home. Mrs. Bloomfield loved animals like Letty and she had a rottweiler in her home. The dog was not mean and not to worry, but in the case of her parrot one was warned “never” to speak a word.

The repairman found the key to let himself in and spotted what looked like the meanest dog he ever saw. However, the dog just looked up at the stranger and put his head back on his paws and went to sleep. He started to repair the washer and he heard this noisy parrot in the kitchen. The bird had this awful screaching voice and would not let up jabbing like a leaky faucet. The parrot was really getting on his nerves when our repairman finally reached his boiling point and shouted: ”Shut up you stupid bird!” Immediately, the parrot squaked back: “Get him Brutus.”

There are many Letty’s who worry daily about what will break down next. If your gums and teeth don’t work right, then you are in alot of pain. Worse who really cares for these “poor souls?” I am grateful for their “angels.” This could a neighbor like Stan, or a parishioner like Kathy, or a relative like Marion who phones or visits every week or daily. Sometimes relatives or neighbors take turns in checking to make sure our seniors are safe, fed and teeth are working OK.

We are busy people, but if we take a moment to think, we might know someone who would enjoy a ride to see the Fall colors, or take a “Ghost walk” at the local church or see a play or hear a concert or maybe needs their washer repaired. Sadly, many seniors feel just like Letty that they should keep their mouth shut because family and friends are just too busy.

Pray and reflect: “Anyone among you who aspires to greatness must serve the rest...” Mark 10:44

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who have been told to keep their mouths shut. Help us to not get annoyed with the parrots in our lives, but to give generosity of our time and talent to help all our senior neighbors or relatives experience the spirit of God’s love for them. Like my good Sonshine friend Stan, may we treat each neighbor with dignity and compassion.

Not Too Many Of Us Around

After driving over 1200 miles in two days to Nashville, Tennessee my 10 year old Civic began to rattle. Panic set in for a moment since I was in a strange city. However, as guest of the Dominican Nuns while attending a world conference in Nashville, I asked the nuns where do they go to have their cars repaired. In one voice, they instructed me to take it to George. Getting directions from a cloistered order to the garage was a challenge, but I soon found my way into a Phillips service station and introduced myself as the “ Yankee chaplain from Rochester” referred by the Dominicans to check on a rattle.

In two shakes, the Civic was up on a lift and grimy, old George with his knee brace was checking the exhaust pipes. All of sudden, he yanked a piece of metal from under the pipes and threw it on the ground. With a clang, he proclaimed surgery was a success. It was only a rusted heat shield that after 10 years had done its job. “That’s your rattle and you don’t need the darn’ thing anyway.” What a relief! I asked George to change the oil and filter while it was up on the lift. It was over 3,000 miles since the last change and he agreed it was a good idea. Chris took over and completed the job while George walked outside the garage to pump gas for a senior.

I was surprised to see George, take an air hose and check all her tires. Next, he opened the hook of her car to check the oil levels and got a quart of oil and poured it in. He did this for each customer who came to his station. When I was getting my bill, I told George I haven’t seen this kind of service since the 1950's. I remember my dad taking the Chevy Impala to the Citgo station and the guys giving this kind of service. George simply said “there’s not too many of us around anymore.”

When I looked at the mechanics who worked for George, they had grimy pants, dirty hands and scruffy beards. Yet, each one would take a turn to go outside and wait on everyone with great dignity and care. We all come with a personal history when we encounter others. Sometimes, prejudice can narrow our view and we fail to accept the good works of others despite their gender, culture or race. Jesus was no stranger to this kind of narrow-minded perspective. Might be a good time to dumped the old biases and get a mental “ oil and filter change” if too much crud is clogging your vision. If you tend to drive too long without checking your oil, you can bet that your prejudices are clogging your spirit.

Pray and reflect: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Gal 3:28.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who suffer the pain and rejection of prejudice. Help us to look beyond the externals that tend to clog our vision. May our thoughts and actions reflect your dignity for all your children. Like George, may we treat each customer and one another with dignity and compassion.

Oceans of Fire

Its Friday afternoon and instead of picking a new movie to attend, I had been delegated to bring home a video. Not my favorite task, but I think this was a mission no one else had the patience nor the energy to tackle. So I launched for the ultimate challenge, the Wal-Mart video bins. I am staring at hundreds of dated titles “loosely” thrown together into a pile to test a saint’s patience. Now I wonder if God gave you only one video to bring into your heavenly entertainment center, what would you choose? “The Ten Commandments” or “The Robe” or maybe something funny or profound. In my search, I found a video rated “A 10" by the American Movie awards. It was a romantic flick and I figured the judges must know their stuff. I’m looking for my favorite actors like Jimmy Stewart and found an old war movie. Then anything by Steve Spielberg with aliens has to be good. Now I’m juggling four titles in my hand with themes about love, war, humor and another world. However, I took one final walk around the video bins and spotted a title in which I put all four videos back in their bin.

It was the movie “Hidalgo” a story about a mixed breed, mustang horse that won a 3,000 mile survival race called the “Ocean of Fire” across the Arabian desert. It was a challenge restricted to the finest Arabian horses ever bred, the purest and noblest lines, owned by the greatest royal families.

However, my video choice was both mystery and sublime. In 1890, a wealthy sheik invited an American, Frank T. Hopkins, and his horse to enter the race for the first time. During the course of his career, Frank witnessed the slaughter of his Native Americans which sent him into a depression and alcoholism. Now his horse was invited to race against the world's greatest Arabian horses and Bedouin riders--some of whom are determined to prevent a foreigner from finishing the race. During one scene he is ready to quit the race, however the spirit of his ancestors calls him to greater courage and strength. Despite Hollywood’s love for winners, the real Hidalgo did not win this bedouin race. But just to finish a 3,000 mile trek across a desert would have made any horse and rider a champion.

Now don’t kid yourself, this flick is exactly about your life’s journey. How many times are we given a mission that requires a faith into the unknown and we are afraid to face the task. It might be a vocation to ministry or married life or the single lifestyle. Others might mock our feeble efforts and tell us to quit the race and take the easy road. However, a prayer from within might call upon the Spirit to help us walk these long-distances when we are broken and feel afraid. Remember when the race of life becomes too exhausting the Lord made this promise: ”Lie down and sleep; I wake again, for the Lord sustains me. I am not afraid of ten thousands of people who have set themselves against me all around.” Psalm 3:5,6.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that when they choose a video it reflects all the gifts that You want us to possess for our journey. Let us see You in all our decisions. When we feel different or unsure of our path, help us to reach for your grace to guide our thoughts and actions through our “oceans of fire” until we cross the line into your eternal glory.

Are Your Springs Stuck?

The old furnace was making a ticking sound but failing to ignite. This wasn’t the first time that old stove had lost power. There was that awful sub-zero night in December when the boiler refused to lite and faithful Dave came out in the middle of the night to put her back online. Dave had this advice which sounded a tad risky: “Take a hammer and where the gas line comes into a box, just give it a few whacks with a hammer.” After a few weeks in the summer when the old burner is not being turned on, the springs inside get stuck. “Don’t worry...I know what I’m talking about...it happens all the time with these old stoves.”

Sometimes, I think our lives get stuck and our springs get a little rusty or worn out. We walk with a limp, forget to pay a fuel bill (God forgive us and the RGE), or worse we get too busy to connect with old friends. Perhaps, God needs to give you a whack with a hammer to loosen up your springs and reset your priorities. You spend too much time on the computer and not in the garden, or take pills to reduce your stress instead of walking the dog or going for a hike in the autumn woods. You spend lots of time watching football on the tube instead of more time playing with your kids or your grandkids. Maybe God needs to whack you over the head several times to get back online in His grace and doing the right things that make you healthier and happier.

Pray and reflect: “Lord, send out your Spirit and renew the springs that have sprung.” (Psalm 104:1)

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are feeling agitated and stuck in their daily routines. Help them to see Your loving presence in the sunrise that blazes with Your glory. Turn on you your divine heat that helps us to calm our fears of violence and soothe our anxious spirits.

Obsessions

Do you have any obsessions? Over the years, I have had this obsessive habit of trying to capture on film a honey bee gathering pollen. This can be a dangerous obsession if one annoys the bee with your camera lens and the little bugger decides to take a bite out of your hide. Throughout the years, I have indulged in my habit and today’s photo was another feeble attempt to capture this unique moment. I will confess I simply have no idea why this subject fascinates me.

Its obvious to me that Jesus also had his obsessions. His habit had very little to do with drinking or gambling. Then again, his obsession was a gamble. I believe Jesus was “obsessed” with the “little ones.” His toxic habit of hanging with the poor folks labeled as outsiders, foreigners, women, the unforgiven. Jesus was so smitten that he would go out of his way to meet these folks to the horror of the elite. Worse, his habit was called blasphemy and today most likely be perceived as heresy.

On this feastday of St. Matthew, we find another addicted disciple coping poorly with his obsession. The tax collector who exploits the poor to line the pockets of the elite. Some namesake I got stuck with.

Lucky for me Jesus had another nasty habit. The knack to take whatever is thrown his way–the addicted personality–like the greed of a disciple to carry out the law. Jesus transformed Matt’s selfish habit into an opportunity to bring new life to hopeless souls. Matthew becomes the apostle of the Gentiles. A fresh voice that gently accepts and affirms anyone who believe they are doomed, forsaken, or “not good enough.”

I like to think that my “second-chance” namesake was given a “crisis experience” better understood as an opportunity to redeem himself when the Spirit of wisdom provided the “good news” is that all are equal in the mind and heart of God. Yes, we still struggle with this truth, but we need to believe like the bee who perseveres that there’s sweetness inside that flower.

Pray and reflect: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male or female; for you are all one in Christ, Jesus.” Galatians 3:28.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that we put away all our toxic obsessions like prejudice, discrimination, intolerance and bullying. May the Spirit of wisdom and understanding give us tolerance, openness and a genuine desire to accept all God’s children at his table into our faith communities. For all “second chance” disciples, may our greed for special favors be transfigured into a humility that believes that God truly loves the ordinary people which is why he made so many of us.

God of Grace

A college professor reported that whenever she asks her undergraduate students what they believe to be the most important part of the Christian message, they unfailingly respond by speaking of forgiveness. Jesus came to bring a message of forgiveness, they say. Some of the more thoughtful students remember to add that he came to teach us how to forgive one another.

It appears to be a lesson in tough love. Yet, Jesus wants his students to wake up to the basic reality that divine mercy and human mercy are profoundly interrelated. We acknowledge this every time we pray the Lord’s Prayer: "Forgive us our trespasses even as we forgive those who trespass against us."

We who follow Christ are always being commanded to do things we cannot do. We are commanded to love those who are not loveable. We are called to serve without counting the cost. But the hardest commandment is the commandment to forgive. We are invited to do this, not because it is humanly possible, but because as we try to do what God commands us to do, the ability to do it is given to us by the God of Grace.

A student shared her experience about a dad who abandoned her family: "Even as the vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them, and yet I could do nothing about it. I could not feel even the slightest spark of love or charity. And so I breathed this silent prayer. ‘Jesus, I cannot forgive him, please give me your forgiveness.’" And with that prayer she was able to lift her hand from her side and touch the hand of the man who had abandoned her. "From my shoulder," she writes, "along my arm and through my hand passed a current from me to him, and in that moment I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world’s healing depends, the world’s healing depends upon God. When our Lord tells us to love our enemies, he gives us, along with the command to do it, the love itself"

Lord, I prayer for all my Sonshine Friends that you help them realize that forgiveness is not an act of will; it is a function of Your divine grace. And if this morning you are at a point at which you simply cannot forgive, I do know one thing you can do. You can pray that the time will come when you can forgive Even if you cannot pray that prayer, you can be honest before God in confessing that you cannot. May God grant to each of us the grace to allow at least the seed of forgiveness to take root in our hearts. All this comes from God.