She Knew

 

 

Last two weeks, I had the humble privilege of providing grief support to employees in Buffalo coping with the mass shootings. Family members whose love ones died are still numb and filled with hurt, frustration and anger. There are no words only tears and hugs from friends that help to ease the pain. This week 21 funerals will take place in Texas and again there are no words only emotions filled with sorrow, sadness and anger.

 

There is an ancient tradition that says over the gates of hell are inscribed the words, "Abandon hope, all you who enter here!” So let me share a story to bring back the hope.

 

There was a funeral for a little 9 years old girl by the name of Annie who had leukemia. She bravely fought this disease for nine months before she died. Her parents, relatives and friends came to listen to the word of God and receive His sacraments of life. During the funeral service, the grandfather shared Annie’s favorite bible story. She would read this story to her grandpa.

 

It was forty days after Jesus death on a cross, when He appeared to his friends, He promised them that he would send them the spirit who would guide and support them when he would leave. On that day, Jesus went up to heaven, and the clouds blocked their vision but angels came and stood beside the disciples and said. “Why are you looking-up in the sky He has returned to his Father but he will come back and take you with Him.”

 

After Annie read the story, she would look at grandpa with questioning eyes, then her eyes suddenly changed, She knew, she really knew. Her eyes said it all. Jesus prayed that we all would be with Him in heaven and Annie knew it was true. At that moment, the church went still, and you could sense that everyone in the pews were filled with hope and God was with people them.

 

You see in difficult times, mass shootings, deadly viruses, serious disease, we go numb with fear and lose hope. Then we fill ourselves with all kinds of emotions, grief, sadness, frustration, confusion and anger. Our noisy brains are filled with fear and negativity. The only way to get through this mess is faith. Annie knew. Annie knew and now we must know that every time we are confronted with a tragedy or feel the pain of lost, or struggle with the reality of war, discrimination or hate, we must have the hope that Jesus came to bring love into the world, and it is His love that Annie found peace.

 

Annie knew and every family in Buffalo and Texas, and Ukraine where pain is felt must know that only our faith and hope in God will bring us comfort and peace.

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who struggle with their fears and pain due to the tragedies of life. In hell, there is no hope, however, in heaven you will find little Annie with a twinkle in her eye that says, hold my hand and come and follow me and I will take you to see my friend Jesus who wants us all to be with him in glory. A glory not found in strength and power but in the blood of the cross where Jesus’ love brings us the hope of eternal life

 

Secret Dream of Glory

 

 

We all nurse a secret dream of glory. 

 

We daydream that in some way we will stand out and be recognized. And so we fantasize about great achievements that will set us apart from others and make us famous. The daydreams vary but, inside them, always we are at the center—the most admired person in the room, the one scoring the winning goal, the actor picking up the Academy Award, the author writing the best-seller, the intellectual winning the Nobel Prize, or even the one nominated to be the next bishop.

 

What we are chasing in all this is notice, appreciation, uniqueness so that we can be duly recognized and loved. We want the light to be shining on us.

 

And this isn’t all bad or unhealthy. We are built to stand in the spotlight. Scientists today tell us that the universe has no single center but that everywhere and every person is its center. And so it is not a big secret that each of us feels ourselves at the center and wants to be recognized as being there. We nurse a secret dream of glory and, partly, this is healthy.

 

What’s less healthy in our daydreams is how we envision that glory. In our fantasies, glory almost always consists in being famous, in standing out, in achieving a success that makes others envious, in somehow being the best-looking or the brightest or the most talented person in the room. In our fantasy, glory means having the power to actuate ourselves in ways that set us above others, even if that is for a good motive. For instance, some of our fantasies are daydreams of goodness, of being powerful enough to squash evil. Indeed, that was the messianic fantasy. 

 

Before Jesus was born, good-hearted and religious people prayed for a Messiah to come and, in their fantasy, that Messiah was generally envisaged as a worldly superstar, a person with a superior heart and superior muscles, a Messiah who would reveal the superiority of God by out-muscling the bad.

But, as we see from the gospels, real glory doesn’t consist in out-muscling the bad, or anyone else. When Jesus was being crucified, he was offered precisely the challenge to prove that he was special by doing some spectacular gesture that would leave all of his detractors stunned and helpless: “If you are the Son of God, prove it, come down off the cross! Save yourself!”

 

But, with a subtlety that’s easy to miss, the Gospels teach a very different lesson: On the cross, Jesus proves that he is powerful beyond measure, not by doing some spectacular physical act that leaves everyone around him helpless to make any protest, but in a spectacular act of the heart wherein he forgives those who are mocking and killing him. Divine kingship is manifest in forgiveness, not in muscle.

That is real glory, and that is the one thing of which we really should be envious, namely, the compassion and forgiveness that Jesus manifested in the face of jealousy, hatred, and murder.

 

So where is our glory if we still are hanging onto past grudges. At this very moment, I am deployed to help families and coworkers in Buffalo whose loved ones were killed by the evil of racial discrimination. Yes, Jesus is saying that you will taste suffering, everyone will, and that suffering will make you deep. But it won’t necessarily make you deep in the right way. Suffering can make you deep in compassion and forgiveness, but it can also make you deep in bitterness and anger. However only compassion and forgiveness bring glory into your lives. We all nurse a secret dream of glory. 

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who have been hurt and suffer the lost of their loved ones because of the evil of hate, prejudice and discrimination. Lord, make our suffering deep in compassion and forgiveness.

 

Anniversary

 

I am sitting in the conference room at Oishei Children’s Hospital across the table with two dedicated emergency transport nurse managers. I was deployed to provide support to their medical staff who experienced a terrible tragedy. The pilot of the Mercy Flight helicopter had died in a crash. While the staff was coping with the death of their co-worker they had to deal with their own fear of flying. This dedicated staff of respiratory nurses and pediatric doctors had gone on endless flights to transport newborn babies in distress or save the lives of countless children who had been in accidents and distress.

 

In our discussion, the nurse managers who had been working for over 25 years starting chatting about their retirement, They had devoted their lives to healing and bringing comfort. Now, perhaps with this incident it was time to pass on their compassion and expertise to the next generation.

 

While they were discussing when “enough was enough” I started to reflect on my journey as a priest. Today, May 6^th is my 45th Anniversary of my ordination. My mission has been and continues to bring healing and comfort to suffering souls.

 

It is interesting that when I made the decision to hand off Holy Family to the next generation, I was not steping down from serving as a healer, but simply redefining how best I could serve God at this stage in my ministry.

 

In the past year, I have had the privilege of helping Bishop Mack recruit several men from Pakistan, Chicago and Hawaii to serve as pastors and deacons in churches around the country. I serve as their “shepherd” meaning when they have a question about their ministry or training and they need to reflect about their ministry “I am here to help.”

:

In addition, my clinical work has also taken on a new phase in that I have been asked to serve as consultant to three outstanding programs. I am truly humbled that Mary Cariola, The School of Holy Childhood, and CDS Life Transitions have asked for my help to serve their dedicated teachers, therapists, nurses and administrators to cope with the stress of Covid and everyday challenges of life.

 

I am grateful to many people who have supported my ministry and yesterday met with one of my early mentors, a master floral designer who 30 years ago when I walked into his floral shoppe to buy flowers for the retired Mercy Sisters on Valentiune’s day offered to teach me how to design flowers. He continues to send me a card every year on my anniversary and his card says it all “Mazel Tov” Happy 45^th Jubilee!

 

I am grateful to all the priests who shepherded my vocation: Fr. Alex, Fr. Siduara, Fr. Karp. Fr. Adamski, Bishop Peplowski, Msgr Leo, Fr. Bob. These men are all with God and I believe continue to guide and help me to bring Our Lord’s mercy, compassion and love to all his children.

I am also grateful to all my friends: Ted, Ken, Arnie, Gail, Tim, David, Jeff, Stan, Fr. Don, Fr. Corey, Bishop John, the list is endless and I am most appreciative of thier prayerful support.

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sionshine Friends who have enjoyed my journey of faith in these reflections the past 22 years. Hopefully a smile, a few tears but mostly comfort that we are never alone. We trust in You alone as you continue to guide, protect and give us courage to face all the challenges of life. Praise God!

 

PS The image I used today are the signs created by the children at St. Boniface School that I posted outside my office door located on the children’s unit when I worked as chaplain at Strong Memorial Hospital.

 

Tilling the Soil

 

This past week, I started a new garden plan based on an article entitled: “How to Create an Easy-Care Garden.” To be honest, “there’s no such thing.” However, this will be a good new challenge since my goal is to keep it simple and nearly effortless to take care of. I want to be able to garden for a long time to come, and that means keeping everything as simple as possible as I age. The goal is to make this a no-till gardening space. It will use the best gardening techniques from raised beds, to bucket planter and straw bale planters.

 

But first I have to take out the 90 concrete blocks that I have used for the past 11 years as a walking path. Only problem with that idea was the weeds kept creeping into the path. After lugging these blocks out of the garden, I laid down a commercial landscape fabric to block out the weeds. To keep it low maintenance, all the welking spaces will be covered in thick wood chips to eliminate weeding.

 

Creating a new garden is like digging deeper into our relationship with Jesus.

When we till the soil, we break through the hard surface layer, break up the clumps of soil, and remove the rocks and old roots, or concrete blocks.

 

What has hardened my heart? What clumps block the way when I try to open my heart to Jesus? What stones am I coming across? What old roots am I getting tangled up in as I try to grow my relationship with Jesus? Are there any bad habits that have taken root within me? Are there places where I need forgiveness or healing? Am I holding fast to any untrue beliefs that I need to discard, such as God doesn’t care; I could never be forgiven for…; or I’m not deserving of forgiveness?

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that as they start to create their gardens in their yard or hearts, help them to soften the hardness and get rid of the stones and clumps that block the growth.

 

I just called my wood chip supplier so I will be picking up a load and spreading the chips and pray this keeps this garden low maintenance.

 

If you don’t feel like starting a new garden that OK. Ask Jesus if there’s anything he would like to reveal to you that you might be holding deep inside that is not serving you well. If you’re feeling distracted, don’t judge yourself; just talk about that. This prayer time is all about honesty in the dialogue. Now, listen. What do you hear in response?