Thursday, May 25, 2006

Let Them Speak To You

As a young seminarian, Memorial Day memories turn to my dad, a veteran of WW II and commander of his American Legion Post. At the local cemetery, we would honor our war heros by offering prayers, laying the wreath, sounding taps and a twenty-one gun salute. The words of John said it best: "No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." I have heard this verse so many times that the ultimate sacrifice is to give one’s life for friend or country. But I wonder if that was the message Jesus was talking about. He wasn’t talking about war, was he?

My dad was invited to speak on this day and he would always turn to me and say "Can you write me a few words." So my Sonshines, my stories began long before I took my first homiletic course in seminary. While we came to remember the sacrifice of so many young people, when and how you die isn’t as important as how you live. Surely Jesus didn’t want us to die in wars. When he called his disciples to lay down their lives, maybe he meant something more like to put aside our own goals, our own desires, our own ambitions and to live for others -- to dedicate our lives to our brothers and sisters, our friends, our church, to dedicate our lives to God -- to lay down our own will and to seek God’s will, and then do it.

After the ceremony, dad and I stayed after everyone else left. We moved from stone to stone, looking at each name, each date. As we walked, we came upon a platform carved out of stone. In the center was a sort of a pulpit also carved from stone. I stood behind the pulpit and looked out over hundreds of graves. It was like a congregation of the dead. It was the quietest, most attentive congregation I had ever seen before. For a minute, I imagine myself like Ezekiel preaching to the dry bones. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I shook my head. What’s the matter, dad said. I realized I didn't have anything to say to them. As I thought about their sacrifices, and the sorrow of their families and friends, I didn’t have a word to say. Just then, an older legionnaire friend of my dad had come up beside us. This old WW I veteran looked at us and said, It’s alright that you have nothing to say to them, he said, gesturing to the silent gravestones stretching as far as the eye can see. The question is, were you quiet enough to let them speak to you?

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who cry over the stones of their war heros. In our souls, let us hear:" I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another." On Memorial Day, I remember writing my dad’s speech calling those in their graves real heros. I’m sure they never saw themselves that way. There are many kinds of heroes-- a soldier who holds fast under fire because one believes their country needs them; a mother who day after day cooks and cleans and puts her children to bed with a prayer; a farmer who year after year fights to keep his head above water and yet never fails to help a migrant in need. I believe our soldiers did leave us something that will last...let them speak to you. May we honor them, and all those who have served others, by serving the one who chose us and doing His will each day.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Medicine of the Person

Two hikers were walking along the trail, when a Bear suddenly met them on their path. One of them climbed up quickly into a tree and concealed himself in the branches. The other, seeing that he would be attacked, fell flat on the ground, and when the Bear came up and felt him with his snout, and smelt him all over, he held his breath, and feigned the appearance of death as much as he could. The bear soon left him, for it is said a bear will not touch a dead body. When the bear left, the other hiker descended from the tree, and jocularly inquired of his friend what it was the bear had whispered in his ear. His friend replied: "You need to pick better friends."

In my counseling practice, referrals are categorized according to illnesses: workplace stress, depression, alcohol abuse. The insurance companies want a diagnostic code 300.01 or 305.0 and know little of the person. However, when I ask someone: "What’s it like?" They share their innermost longings, their deepest pain and joy. Patients often comment about the green ferns and plants and enjoy a wall of floral photos. I find it’s easier to help a person like a good friend then a number. It’s extremely important to get to know the whole person if you are intending to treat them emotionally. I call this the Medicine of the Person.

Like a good soup, there are several ingredients about a friend which makes them special to us. Let’s begin with a bunch of trust. We share our innermost feelings, thoughts, ambitions, doubts and disappointments with them, things about ourselves which we would not share with just anyone. We trust that special someone before we "let it all hang out". Next comes a dash of faithfulness. Friends are there for us through thick and thin, in good times and the bad, when everyone else has deserted us. Then, comes a pinch of integrity. A friend is someone who will give us a sounding board, who will challenge our ideas and make them more real. With abandoned we add a heaping dose of forgiveness. A friend is someone who will forgive us if we hurt them with an unkind word or deed. They will not bear a grudge. Don’t forget to sprinkle with lots of joy. Our best times are spent with friends who accept us for who we are, and not someone we have to pretend to be. We can "let our hair down" with them, and drop our usual self-defenses, because we know that they will not hurt us. Did you ever have the experience that even after long separations, friends can meet again and it's as if they'd never been apart? That’s the best feeling. Sometimes, we have to take sometime out. We have to be willing to make sacrifices for one another. We give them our time in listening to their problems. And sometimes we even give up our lives for them. How true this is especially on this Memorial Day weekend when we honor those who laid down their lives for their country. Friendship means not counting the cost.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that they may know that in spite of all our business and turmoil, You love us always and forever. You trust us, forgive us, made us equal, been faithful to us, sacrificed Your life for us and given us joy. But most of all, You loves us unconditionally. May the love of God reign in your hearts always.