I Came Because Of You

The Mercy Spring Show was to be a Lenten treat for my “sweethearts” on Blossom Road. I had the privilege of serving as chaplain for the retired Sisters of Mercy in Rochester, New York. After serving for eight years as motherhouse and hospital chaplain, our friendship continues despite the fact that many of the sisters have gone to their eternal home. It’s been eleven years since Sister Rosemary died holding the angel soap in her hands that I gave to all the sisters. She was the bold Irish lass who told her community at an annual chapter meeting how proud she was of her younger sisters for their wonderful ministries. She envied their creativity and generosity to the sick and poor. However, despite the frailty of her fellow sisters she announced in her best Irish brogue that all the retired sisters pledged to be a “powerful of prayer” to support their works of mercy. In response, Rosemary received a standing ovation from all the Mercy sisters.

I had offered to share some of my photo gallery with my retired friends. The remodeled motherhouse chapel sported a new computerized 12 by 15 screen for presentations. Here was a chance to display daffodils of spring at Highland Park with meadows of summer in Vermont. I arranged pre-dawn moments and babbling streams in the Great Smoky Mountains with a crimson sunrise in San Diego during the recent firestorms. The winter scenes featured an impressionist scene at Durand Eastman Park and glory rays shining through the trees at Ellison Park. The only hitch in this premiere show was that my photo disk and the chapel computer were not compatible. Regretfully, each image was distorted and enlarged and made the viewing quite a challenge. Technology was not our friend, yet these ladies were most patient as they looked upon each image and listened to my narration despite the irritation in my voice. I apologized several times for the lack of clarity and humbled that this premiere had not come close to my expectations.

I helped push the sisters in wheelchairs back to their rooms. Waiting for the elevator, I stooped down to Sister Mary DeChantel thanking her for coming to the show and apologized again. She lovingly looked into my eyes and said: “ I came because of you.”

How many of our dreams fail to work out as planned? We want children, but remain infertile…we want to stay married, but separation comes…we work overtime to keep our jobs, but many go overseas…we want good health, but find a malignant bump…we want our sons and daughters in the service to be safe…but some come home with purple hearts and broken spirits.

Our intention is to show beauty to the world by our sacrifice and service, but we make a mess of things and sin. Jesus rides into Jerusalem as king…only later to be crucified. And from the cross, I hope you hear loud and clear these profound words of DeChantel…”I came because of you.”

God prays for us as we reflect: “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped." (Psalm 28:7).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends who bring beauty into the lives of family and friends. Our words of affirmation and gratitude can help to raise the spirits of anyone who feels a failure. Whenever our expectations fail to meet our standards, may we remember to visualize the cross and look into the eyes of Our Savior and hear his words of hope: “I came because of you.”

There's Whiskey in the Jar

I will confess that freezing ice pellets and driving on icy roads makes me scared to death. But duty calls to help at a funeral, so I am crawling at 25 over a snow covered Bay Bridge despite the SUV’s leaving me behind in their tracks. You think they take the hint and use better judgment after passing 3 SUV’s on 104 that skidded off the road into a ditch.

Somehow, I don’t care if I’m moving too slowly since the ice and blowing snow made for some nasty driving. However, once I crossed the bridge, traffic was moving slowly up a hill with their taillights on. In the distance, I could see lines of cars were keeping their distance following two huge state snowplows. One does not mess with these snow mammoths. The plows were working in tandem, one in the driving lane and the other in the passing lane with their yellow caution lights circling to warn that they got the right of way so—SLOW DOWN. The result of their “good work” was that my road to church was neatly plowed with a coating of salt despite the fact that we ALL were driving no more than 25. Listening to the radio to calm my nerves and focus on the road, WXXI was playing Irish Pub Tunes with the lyrics that sang: “Tally, tally ho…there’s whiskey in the jar.”

An hour later, I was sitting on the steps of the sanctuary at the funeral looking into the eyes of a grieving spouse and her adult daughters and son. Are we not all scared sometimes? When we are faced with the death of our husband and father we yearn for some words to take away our sorrow. Those two mammoth tow trucks with there flashing yellow caution lights are a sign to take some time to slow down and listen to the words of God. Of course, we are afraid when we find ourselves sliding all over the road. Of course, we are terrified by death and struggle with the pain of not knowing for sure what happens to our body and soul. Our hands on the wheel of life throb from holding on too tight. Of course, we do not want to let go of the memories, the warm hands, the gentle smile and laughter that brought joy a to our hearts.

Imagine Jesus sitting in the cab of that snowplow, telling us: “Do not be afraid.” I got the road covered, my blade of truth will set you free from all your doubts, despite all your foolish fears about the devil or your unworthiness or whatever else you think can keep you out of Paradise.

Once again, I remembered that Irish Pub Tune that was playing along the treacherous road. Did you not hear the words of the song? “Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there... I do not sleep. I am the thousand winds that blow...I am the diamond glints on snow...I am the soft star that shines at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry—I am not there... I did not die...”

God prays for us as we reflect: "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who continue to shed tears of sorrow for family and friends. Give us the courage to surrender our doubts and cradle our fear into your merciful arms. May we raise our glass and toast all the saints with St. Patty who leads our family and friends into eternal glory with one voice: “Tally, tally ho.. There’s whiskey in the jar.”

The Way I See It

In Ravenna, Italy, a sacred destination to see is Saint Apollinare Nuovo Church where visitors come to see its ceiling mosaic of heaven. The problem is it is so dark in the church that visitors have to pay 300 lira, about 25 cents, for the mosaic to be illuminated for a few moments. Most visitors don’t pay. They just grumble in the dark. They want to see heaven for free. The mosaic depicts the Lord sitting amid a blindingly green paradise of eternal spring with white sheep grazing all around. Suddenly there is the sound of a coin and the light comes on, another coin, light again, another coin, more light, yet another coin, light still. The narrator goes to see who is doing this and discovers a man in a wheelchair, bent over. A female guide is looking up, then speaking in his ear, over and over. The man is blind, but he wants to see.

In Mark’s gospel, there is a story about a blind man. In fact, Mark has two such stories. The first is of a man to whom Jesus gives sight, but Jesus’ first attempt only lets him see people that “look like trees walking,” so Jesus touches him again and his sight is complete. Learning to see, especially to gain insight, takes time. That is why the man’s healing was not instantaneous.

However, John’s gospel also has a story about a blind man but with a different emphasis. First, Jesus says the man is not blind because of sin. Jesus counters one of the major attitudes of his day that all illness, disease, or disabilities are the result of sin. Jesus heals the man, no questions asked. Yet what follows in the rest of the passage is an account of various individuals arguing whether this really is the one born blind, or whether he truly was blind, or whether he truly can see at this point. There is not one word of rejoicing and praise to God for the gift of sight, except from the man himself.

How often do we fail to offer gratitude to God? There might be a number of important issues we do not see clearly. We are experts at grumbling and wasting lots of our time and energy attacking each other and each other’s ideas (John’s point), instead of trying to gain insight and clarity of vision (Mark’s point).

What are some of your issues? Catholic school closings, health care, bankruptcy, war with in-laws, disability, social security, prices at the pump, and care for the earth. Perhaps, it is time to stop trying to win arguments, or protect our investments, or make as little change as possible. It is time to care for what God has placed in our care.

God prays for us as we reflect: “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight.” (Psalm 19:14)

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who feel better getting their hands in the soil and getting a little dirt under their fingernails. Coming up with a plan to teach our young people the “good news” will take clarity and creativity. Help us to be grateful for the many gifts of this earth and get our hearts into caring for God’s "little ones." Only God can create, but you and I can heal and mend.

Thirsting for Love

A young college student referred by his concerned professor came to my office to tell me that he felt “numb.” It was discovered that his father had been using the Internet to view child pornography. He had been caught in an FBI sting and the newspapers were reporting the details of years of Internet abuse. This was his father, the man he admired and depended upon. His pain and fear were all over his face. He remembered that he went with his mother and brother to visit his dad in the county jail and all he could do was go up to his dad and tell him that “he loved him.” His mind was cloudy and his emotions swirling with shame and forgiveness, hope and terror. His worse fear was that his dad was being transported to a federal facility. Now he worried himself sick thinking about what the other prisoners might do to his father once they discovered his crime.

Last night, I shared the fears of this young man with our college students and read this verse: “As he sat at dinner in the house, many tax collectors and sinners came and were sitting with Jesus and his disciples.”
(Matthew 9:10)

I love imagining this scene. Can you not see it in your mind? Try. Jesus saw Matthew collecting taxes for the Roman occupiers. Matthew was a despicable man by any terms, disdained by the Romans and hated by the Jews. He was a schemer, a quisling cheat. Yet Jesus called him. Talk about scandal in the Church—than more scandal. Matthew, with his ill-gotten money, throws a dinner party. That was bad enough, but there was a final scandal; the guests turn out to be as bad as Matthew himself, tax collectors and sinners, and they ate with Jesus. Can you image what that room looked like with a guest list like that, a bunch of cutthroats and low lives eating with Jesus?

In our communities there are barriers between races, classes or other status groups, the separation is maintained by means of a taboo on social mixing. You do not share a meal or a dinner party; you do not celebrate or participate in entertainment with people who belong to another social group or worse accused of some hideous sinful behavior.

And yet here was Jesus, saying that for him barriers between people do not exist. In fact, he had a habit of disregarding barriers as he touched an untouchable leper, healed a gentile’s servant, cured a foreign woman’s daughter, and mischievously told the story of the socially bad Samaritan who was morally good, or I can imagine visit this young’s man dad in prison.

Anyway, looking around at the crowd eating with Jesus leaves no doubt about the message. There are no barriers with Jesus. No one is excluded from the love of God, “no matter how bad they are or have been.” All the Matthews down through the ages are welcomed to the banquet if they but get up immediately and follow him even at the last minute.

Many people and Catholics worry about this verse in great seriousness, “To judge the living and the dead.” Deep in our hearts we simply want to hear, I don’t want justice, I want love.” The message from this gospel is that: “There is only love.

God prays for us as we reflect: “Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy.” (Psalm 28:6).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who missed another Penance Service or feel uncomfortable with confession. They are numb by the feeling that they are unwanted or worse that there sins are unforgivable. Jesus come to these tortured souls and sits down by our side and heal us. Mother Teresa said of the lepers she treated, “We have drugs for people with diseases like leprosy, but these drugs do not treat the main problem, the disease of being unwanted.” And there stands Jesus who wants our disease and all and us.

It's Gonna Work Out

There are many different kinds of fear. There is the fear you feel when you tap on the brakes and the car starts to spin. There is the fear that comes when we hear that our company is downsizing, and we may be out of a job.

There is the fear that comes when we haven’t heard the diagnosis yet, but we’re pretty sure it’s bad. There is the fear of failure: failure in school, failure in our job, and failure at life itself.

Think about all the different kinds of fear there are, some that I listed, but even more that I left out. Isn’t it true that most of these fears come when we suddenly realize we’re not in control?

Once upon a time, a humble king took his three buddies up a mountain to show them something special. Of course, these tough guys were true to form—they bragged and postured and acted nonchalant so others would think they were in control. This is what Peter was doing. However, he was in a scary situation—an ordinary fisherman seeing a blinding vision, a practical man having an experience he can’t explain. So Peter’s scared, and he starts to babble. This time he gets bawled out, and it’s by a voice from a cloud. Now he’s not just scared, he’s terrified! His legs can’t hold him up. He falls on the ground, and so do James and John.

At this moment, I like to think that Jesus touches each of them. I sort of imagine him reaching out and ruffling their hair. The kind of touch that says, “We’re all in this together, I value you, I care for you, and it’s gonna work out.” And he says, “Stand up and do not be afraid”!

Something within them changes. I think it’s the touch of Jesus. Maybe not a physical touch, but some kind of internal touch, some kind of spiritual touch. They learn not to be afraid.

Not that the uncertainty of life goes away. It doesn’t. Not that they suddenly gain control. They don’t. Not that they are suddenly masters of their own fate. They clearly are not. But somehow it doesn’t matter. Bad things continue to happen to good people. But somehow it doesn’t matter.

The beginning of fear is when we realize, I’ve lost control. The beginning of faith is when we realize, it doesn’t matter. I don’t really need to be in control. All I really need is the awareness that God is in control.

God prays for us as we reflect: “In God I trust; I will not be afraid.” Psalm 56:11.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that we could each be transformed from our need for control. Wouldn’t it be great to learn to overcome our fears? Wouldn’t it be great to be able to say, “Bad things will still happen, but they don’t matter. I don’t have to be in control, if I can trust God to be in control”?

Going Through A Storm?

Last evening, a Sonshine friend was overcome with joy as she attended a magnificent concert of classical Latin music. Sitting close to the stage, she admired the artist as she played the guitar with flawless and effortless ease. This guest loves music but rarely gets a chance to attend any concerts since her chronic disease has limited her mobility over 20 years ago. She has had her share of storms. A gifted teacher who loves to plays the piano and flute, her multiple sclerosis became the storm of her life. Yet, don’t we all go through storms?

Some of you might be in some terrible ones right now. It is safe to say that if you are not in one now, you will be. Why? Because that is just the nature of humanity.

I would agree, that it seems like some people's storms are not as severe as others. However, from our perspective this “storm” comes at the worse possible time or might be something we never expected or prepared for in life.

Once there was a King who had wires stretched between the towers of his castle. The reason was he was in hopes of developing harp-like music when the wind blew. He was soon really disappointed. The breeze came but the music did not. He exclaimed, "It just doesn't work." However, one day, before the wires were removed, there developed a big storm like yesterday’s 50 mile per hour winds in Rochester. The wind whipped the wires furiously. Then, suddenly, a magnificent melody was heard. It was just harp-like music.

I suggest you meditate on this profound “lightning rod thought.” I believe that without any storms, without any challenges, without any trials, without any tests, our lives would produce very little recognized music. I can think of many pastoral experiences. Last week, I was called to provide a debriefing for a group of young engineers whose 33-year-old colleague died in a car accident leaving a spouse with a ten week old unborn child and three year daughter.

When the winds of any difficulty draw you taunt and you think you are at your breaking point and you weep before God, “I just can't take much more”-music will result.

God prays for us as we mediate: “Lord, hush (my) storm to a whisper; may the waves of the sea (my problems) be stilled.” Psalm 107:29

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that the difficulty they may have at this time in their life, be used to draw them taunt so that a beautiful melody will be produced. Tune our life's instruments, Lord and may this “little one” start hearing that music in their soul at this time

Heart to Heart

Are your pants getting a “little too tight?” This might be the first sign that you need to make a change. Discomfort in one’s tummy might lead to more serious discomfort in the heart. Some folks require a surgical procedure to open their arteries to allow more blood to flow to the heart. The reason for this blockage is cholesterol. Anything blocking your love for God? This might be a good time to have a heart-to-heart talk with ourselves and ask what changes are in order to make our hearts grow stronger with the spirit of God’s love.

Many people find success with “Weight Watchers” when they are motivated to makes changes that will help them “loosen their belts.” One heart patient shared that in the 10-week program her goal was to lose enough weight in the first four weeks to get down to what was called her “healthy weight.” She made the commitment to attend the weekly meetings and learn all the tools about what to eat and portion sizes in order to reach her desired goal. After she reached her “healthy weight” she would continue to come to the weekly meetings for more support. Her next goal was to maintain her “healthy weight.” If she continued to stay on track and eat right she would reach what was called her “life time weight” and then all her sessions would be free. However if she gained more than 3 pounds, she would have to start paying $10 for every session she went over her “healthy weight.”

What program would God recommend for you to have a "healthy heart? The psalmist tells us to pray these words: "A clean heart create for me, O God". And in the gospel, Jesus tells his disciples to be on guard lest they perform acts of penitence only to gain the approval of others. He is telling them, and us, that what is important lies within.

So what does Christ want from us as we begin another Lenten Season. Simply put: our hearts. He needs a heart that recognizes what things in our life are unhealthy and a willingness to change. This change of heart is what is meant by the word repentance. Repentance means more than just being sorry for past sins. It is a willingness to change our behavior in order to avoid sin in the future. In essence, what we need is an incarnation. We have to let Christ assume human form in us, just as he assumed human flesh in his own Incarnation. And if we let Christ into our hearts, we might be amazed at the transformation that will occur in our lives.

God prays for us as we reflect: “Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.” (Psalm 31:24).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends whose hearts are troubled with fears of all sorts that clog our arteries with stress and lead to disease and broken hearts. May our need to change-our desire for repentance-lead us to a change of heart that focuses on Christ as he lives in others. And this change of heart should lead us to live lives which are compassionate, non-judgmental, forgiving and giving, lives which are lived in imitation of Christ, lives which have found true peace and happiness. As I put ashes on peoples’ foreheads tomorrow, I will simply say: “Change your heart and imitate the love of Christ.”

Dancing With God

There is a story a longtime Sonshine Friend emailed to me last week about meditating on the word “guidance.” In his mind’s eye, he kept seeing “dance” at the end of the word.

I believe that doing God's will is a lot like dancing. 
 When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. 
The movement doesn't flow with the music and everything is quite uncomfortable and awkward. However, when one person realizes that, and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music. One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing lightly in one direction or another. 
It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully with the music.

The dance takes surrender and a willingness to let the other lead. It requires each person to be mindful to the movement of one another. It needs gentle guidance and skill from the other. So my friend’s eyes and soul drew back to the word “guidance.”

When he saw the "G": he thought of God, followed by "u" and "I". This led to the revelation that "God, you, and I dance.” As he bowed his head in prayer, he became willing to trust in the silence that would lead to the guidance he was seeking about his life.

Using our imagination, it seems if we become willing to let God lead us in the “dance of life” our souls will find peace and harmony.

God dances with us as we pray: “Then maidens will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.” (Jeremiah 31:13).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that they learn the steps to dance closer to You. May we allow God to take us by the hand, and wrap a gentle arm around our back to lead and guide us during this season of Lent. And I Hope You Dance!

What Do You Want?

Once upon a time, two disciples were walking behind Jesus when he turned around on his heels and asked them: "What do you want?" A simple question, unless the one asking it is the Son of God, who is here to take away the sin of the world!

"What do you want?" You’d think these disciples would muster something profound like, "We want to know the meaning of life. What's it all about? We want to understand how to square a good God with the bad things that happen in this world. We want to know what the future holds." But these two disciples say no such things. "What do you want?" Jesus asks. Their reply? "We want to know where you're staying."

You've got the Son of the living God, giving you the chance of a lifetime to tell him what you want, and all you can come up with is, "So, where are you hanging your hat these days?" The fact is, these two disciples didn't give a bad answer. In a way their reply was, "We want you!" What's that line from that old African-American spiritual? "You can have all this world, but give me Jesus!" The same message Dr. Martin Luther King gave to the people of this nation.

Now for some folks who don’t come to church any longer because they got the impression from other church-goers that they don’t measure up listen to this reply by Jesus "Where are you staying?"

"Come and you will see," Jesus replies. He didn't issue a bunch of pre-requisites, didn't make them jump through some moral hoops before letting them take what were quite literally their first steps of discipleship. That's the way we sometimes frame it. Come and talk to us AFTER you have your act together. Come and join our church after we're sure you've got your spiritual and moral vision clear. Rather Jesus says, "Come, and then you will see."

What do you want? It’s always a TOUGH question. Well, we want success, a spot in the limelight, our fifteen minutes of fame, a piece of the good life, financial security, a healthy body, to be noticed--we want the kinds of things that someone described that Jesus is unlikely to lead us to. Still, maybe we don't know what we want until we come to Jesus and see who he is.

God prays for us as we reflect: “But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.” (Psalm 5:11).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who don’t know what they want. May your Spirit gently nudge us to a desire for nothing else but you. "What do you want?" We want you, Jesus. We want to stay where you're staying. Because somehow by being with you, we just know that we're going to find out just what it is we want. It's been Jesus we've been looking for all along, whether we knew it or not.

The Bucket List

Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman star in the movie “The Bucket List.” Without spoiling the plot, I’ll simply share that these two men met as patients in a hospital where they faced the grim reality of their mortality. One patient found comfort in his faith. His roommate thought the idea of faith was only an illusion or at best a myth to get people through difficult times. Despite their differences, they agreed to begin a final journey together. While hilariously entertaining, there are moments in this flick that make one think about our limited time on earth and our relationships with one another. Before these condemned men “kick the bucket,” our stars launched on a crazy journey to accomplish a list of things unfinished in life. Using your imagination, you would be right to assume that their list contained all the exotic places that you and I have yet to travel in our lifetime.

Overlooking the pyramids, our travelers were admiring the ancient pharoah’s tombs and peering into the endless star filled sky. The man of faith made the comment to his fellow traveler that the ancient Egyptians held the belief that before one could enter into the next kingdom that person had to answer two questions. Our cynical traveler took the bait and reluctantly asked what they were.

1. Have you been joyful in this life?
2. How have you shared your joy with others?

When are you joyful these days? I know behind the lens capturing the light of a stunning image brings me joy. Or, it might be a simple poinsettia bloom nestled with hundreds of other plants or at pre-dawn capturing the subtle light that veils the valley below. Sometimes, it might be arranging a Spring bouquet of flowers to give as a gift to family or friends or brushing Rhythm, a horse blind in one eye that I ride to relax and forget the troubles of the week.

Then there is that second profound question, how have I brought joy to others? How might you answer that before the throne of God? I can look back and think of a little green puppet that was given to me as a gift over 30 years ago. I called this stuffed toy “Spinach.” That was the name on the label and the name hundreds of kids remember to this day. Before Catholic schools were closed, I would go into the classroom and take Spinach with me and teach the stories about Jesus’ love to the children. That was pure joy!

So often in our Catholic teaching we hear the message that speaks of service and sacrifice and mercy that reflects the way of Christ as he walked with his children. We have been told for millennia to imitate that same love for others in caring for the sick, the poor, the imprisoned and the “little ones” which refer to those made to feel unworthy. But I like this Egyptian perspective that joy enters into our life and faith and becomes the guiding star in all our relationships. I believe that God wants us to be a people of joy and to bring that joy to others.

What is your joy in this life? How have you brought your joy to others?

God prays for us as we reflect: “You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." (Psalm 16:11).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that they may be filled with many moments of joy like hugging their grandkids, seeing beautiful vistas, and sharing moments at table with family and friends. May your grace help us all to bring that same joy to others.

Rise and Shine

And what about that star? Astronomers, theologians and historians for hundreds of years have been trying to determine exactly which star might have led the Magi to the stable.

A more recent conjecture has come from a Notre Dame astrophysicist, Dr. Grant Mathews. The professor says that he had hoped the answer would be something spectacular like a supernova. But two years of research led him to a more ordinary conclusion - the heavenly sign around the time of the birth of Jesus Christ was likely an unusual alignment of planets, the sun and the moon.

He believes the Christmas star is probably an alignment of planets, the most likely of which would have occurred on April 17, 6 B.C., when the sun, Jupiter, the moon and Saturn aligned in the constellation Aries while Venus and Mars were in neighboring constellations. He makes that conclusion because he believes the Magi were Zoroastrian astrologers who would have recognized the planetary alignment in Aries as a sign that a powerful leader was born. In fact it would have even meant that the leader was destined to die at an appointed time.

I believe that the star in the sky over Bethlehem is the flare for us that God does and will continue to rescue us as His children. That star is our hope in this world of darkness and despair. The star in Bethlehem is our search for acceptance and understanding and peace. On Friday, I was visiting a patient afraid of surgery that she is having this morning to replace her pacemaker.

She said, "My whole body is bothering me. But the body isn't the worst part. It's my soul that has me worried. All this talk of side effects like dying from the surgery really scares me. I haven't been able to sleep very well the past few nights. I just lay awake like I'm watching a replay of my whole life as it passes before my eyes. I don't like what I see. I could have done a lot better with my life. I've been a religious person, I've been pretty regular at church and all, but I don't know.... something is just not right. I don't have any peace about it all. Actually, I think I'm afraid to die. I'm afraid to meet God. What will God think about a person like me? Does God's love include me? Am I included in God's eternal plans?"

The Epiphany answer to the question: “Am I included in God's eternal plans is a resounding YES!” Epiphany shows that Jesus came for all people, no matter what!

Life can be overwhelmingly dark, especially at some special moments of our history. Today I am happy and tomorrow I have a stroke. Today I am smiling and tomorrow a car hits my child. Today I am rich and tomorrow I am poor when my plant closes and I am laid off. Today I am a success and tomorrow a failure. Life’s little candles of happiness are so fragile and easily snuffed out.

But there is one light that is never snuffed out. There is one light that always shines in the darkness. There is one light that darkness cannot overcome, and that is Jesus Christ.

God prays for us as we reflect: "Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.” (Isaiah 60:1).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends and new online friends who are searching for your light. Christ is our Star. As we try to navigate our ways through life, there is only one star that can guide us, and that star is Jesus Christ. Never lose sight of that star.

Letting Things Settle

It was Christmas 1978, and I was set on a mission to find the toy of the year—the infamous Cabbage Patch doll. They had sold out quickly, but I was asked to help a mother find the only remaining Cabbage Patch doll in the nation for her little girl. It was the week before Christmas and all the stores were sold out. But I made a few calls to JC Penny’s Worldwide Headquarters who put me in touch with their West Coast warehouse. Two days before Christmas, the Cabbage Patch doll arrived at this mother’s door.

Now it’s Christmas 2007, and the “next impossible gift” request turns out to be a snow globe with the statue of a reindeer inside. Mind you not some silly Rudolph prancing around the North Pole but an image worthy of National Geographic. This family loved “reindeer” decorations. Thirty years later, I can go online to “shop the world” to search for this unique gift. But, my quest came up empty except for a few poor, plastic images of Rudolph dancing around Santa’s sleigh. Not quite the quality reindeer I had hoped to find.

Snow globes have a certain wonder and fascination for me. A scene encased in water, you pick up the globe, shake it and watch the "snow" magically rise up in a swirl and cover the scene. Set it down and gradually things settled and became clear.

In some ways the days after Christmas can offer such clarity. The Christmas stories represent a very special intervention of God in the human condition, they reveal to us just how much God loves us, one that, as G.K. Chesterton said, turned the world upside down and, astonishingly, when viewed from that perspective the world made sense.

God, in the words of the Irish Dominican poet, Paul Murray, loves us so much that if we should cease to exist, he would die of sadness. The Christmas stories reveal to us that God loved Her human children so much that He took on human form so that he could show us how to live and how to die, even walking with us down to the valley of death itself.

Like the colorful glitter in a snow globe –we can easily get caught up in the swirl of busyness that can be a tempting distraction to get lost in. Yet – how often do we feel lost? We don't know who we are. We lose our sense of clarity. Everything seems confused. New Year's resolutions are about spending time more with special friends, exercise, and dieting. Instead, we get distracted by more meetings to attend, e-mails to answer, crisis to resolve, credit card debt and we lose sight of our number one goal to simply be a more happy person.

I like to suggest that these first days of this New Year can be days of grace, to be still and let the activity drop away. To adapt a phrase: Don't just do something – sit there and pray. Before you toss away those Christmas cards in the recycling bin—read again slowly and pray in gratitude for your friends, which is the way God, reveals how much she truly loves you.

God prays for us as we reflect: “The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.” (Psalm 29:11).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who in this New Year have mountains that need to be conquered, temptations to overcome; feelings to be mastered and problems to be solved. In you are found the answers and in you are found the strength to carry on. Bless my friends as they climb and overcome the swirl of life with you their Heavenly Guide.

Rudolf, Won't You Guide My Sleigh Tonight?

Santa's most popular reindeer by far is Rudolf, Rudolf, the red-nosed reindeer. Here is his story as told in music by Johnny Marks: Rudolf, the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw him, you would even say it glows. All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor Rudolf play in any reindeer games. Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came to say: "Rudolf with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?" Then all the reindeer loved him as they shouted out with glee: "Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer, you'll go down in history!" The story of Rudolf is the story of salvation. It is our story both as individuals and as the human family. In our own case it is not Santa who saves us but the Child Jesus.

To begin with, Rudolf was a misfit. Compared to the image of the ideal reindeer we can say that something was definitely wrong with him. What is more, he was not in any position to help himself. So are we all, misfits: "We are like sheep who have gone astray" (Isaiah 53:6). Like lost sheep we are not in a position to help ourselves. Rudolf could not help himself. All that his fellow reindeer did was to makes things worse for him. Only one person could help him, Santa, the messenger from heaven.

Soon, we will celebrate the birth of the Messenger from heaven. He comes to liberate us from the human predicament, our self-centeredness. Our self-destructive ways turn us into a despicable Rudolf, the red-nosed reindeer. But the heavenly Messenger comes, not to take away the “red nose” but to declare to us the Good News that we are acceptable to God even with the red nose. Rudolf's red nose was a defect. But Santa chose him precisely on account of that. The heavenly Messenger has the ability to turn the defects and red noses of our tainted humanity into assets for the service of God. Jesus is this heavenly messenger.

What makes the reindeer gospel so poignant is that Santa does not use his magic wand to heal Rudolf of his red nose defect. He let him go on with the red nose even as his chosen reindeer. Certainly Rudolf would have wanted to be a normal reindeer like all the rest. Similarly Jesus does not simply make us good men and women, rather he makes us into people who can use all their strengths and defects to the service and the glory of God. This is the proof to us that it is not by our own will power that we are able to become children of God. It is by God's grace, by God's unmerited and unconditional love of us.

You can imagine how Rudolf felt when he heard the words of Santa, "Rudolf with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?" That is why we call it the Good News. It is news that is liberating and empowering. It empowers us by changing our former disposition of insecurity, despair and hopelessness into that of blessed assurance, new hope and enthusiasm in the Lord's service.

God prays for us as we reflect: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who feel like misfits. Our “red noses” that point to our inner shame and disfigure the beauty that God sees within us. Like Rudolf before Santa, let us listen to the Message that the Christ Child brings us, let us commit ourselves into his service without looking back, even when we do not know where the journey will lead us, knowing one thing for sure: that the grace of God will supply the strength we need for the long journey of faith ahead. A Blessed Christmas.

Ice Your Pain

Ironic that after a stellar annual physical, two hours later, I fall on a patch of ice on my back and I am in pain! What a way to start the week before Christmas? Thank God that He is in our "pain" of living. Everyday I listen to the pain of people buried with fears of losing a job, a spouse, or health. And, who likes pain? Not this priest especially when the pull rope on the snow blower refused to start the motor and my back is screaming in pain. This is the kind of pain that drops you to your knees. I literally felt like the words in Psalm: 38:7: “My back is filled with searing pain; there is no health in my body.”

However suffering and pain needs to be addressed in our lives. O Come, O Come Emmanuel means “God is with us in us—especially when we are “in pain.” I believe God has some lesson and opportunity for us in pain. But, does it have to come during a snowstorm? Come on Lord, what is the mystery to pain? James states it this way in 5:11: “As you know we consider blessed those who have preserved. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about… The Lord is full of compassion and mercy."

When I try to deal with the mystery of suffering and pain my thoughts turn to the homebound who have no more strength to fight the system. I think of a Sonshine Friend whose home care and nursing services have put her health at risk. Sometimes due to our pain, we no longer have the strength to want to go on. We feel alone in our pain. However, I tried to remind her on a snowy Sunday afternoon that she has the dignity of her soul and her faith and to keep on praying.

It is interesting that the treatment for pain recommended after the fall is ice and later warmth to help in the healing process. Sometimes when our prayers are not answered we think that God has the heart of ice. It is our perseverance that will lead to the warmth of God’s comfort.

Keep in mind that our pain is not meaningless. We pray for a cure or at least some relief but it seems God has not answered our prayer. The things we count as refusals are simply delays, which we can't understand in the natural. In pain, which I feel, I lift my eyes to my Redeemer. It need not be meaningless. I ask God to remove the pain; if not I ask God to reveal his lessons and truths through it. There are those watching my reaction and response.

God pray for us as we reflect: “I am in pain and distress; may your salvation, O God, protect me.” (Psalm 69:29).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends who are indeed in pain - physically - or in a situation that is "painful." I ask that you give them relief and when on their knees you bless them with strength and grace to endure for the Kingdom.

Always in a Hurry

What kind of waiter are you? I don’t mean folks who serve your table at restaurants, but people who wait. There are those who remain patient and calm no matter what circumstance, but they are rare. Far more common are the impatient ones who pace and tap and glance at their watches; who, when you finally arrive, let you know exactly how late you are; who weave in and out of traffic trying to get one car ahead of the others; who get into the express lane at the supermarket with their basket far over the twelve-item limit, who are always in a hurry.

There are the multitaskers with their cell phones, blueberries and palm pilots who can’t abide the solitude and silence so necessary for emotional and spiritual growth. Then, there are those who simply can’t wait at all, like the children who ask, “when is Santa coming?”

I realize that there are times when we have to actually "hurry". But the normal pace, must be kept slower...for our sake and the sake of others as well. I don't ever recall reading that Jesus was on the run.

Jesus was master of the art of spending time. He never let it master him. He did not give the impression of dashing about Palestine trying to save time and keep to a schedule.

He knew that his working days were short. He said so. There was an air of urgency about him, but there was no feverish hurrying. He had time to sit and talk with individuals along the way. He paused to play with little children. He took time off to spend whole hours in prayer. But was it taking time off? Off from what? Jesus was not keeping to a calendar. He was fulfilling a life.

Folks at the Blue Christmas Healing Mass had the opportunity to slow down a little from the hectic pace and "smell the roses". But, I know, some are thinking, "Well, if you knew what I was going through you would think different!" Actually, I do know what some are going through.

As I was leaving the chapel, the last person expressed her thanks for the healing service because she was going through tests for lupus. Sometimes, the news is bad. It's the pits!! But I also know someone who is waiting for us to reach up through our difficulties and touch Him.

God prays for us as we reflect: "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God." (John 14:1).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that they listen to your whisper that says: “I am here.” Then they could put up with anything, could wait forever.

Keep On Keeping On

On Sunday, a special message was read in all the churches from our bishop. It said “we are adrift. Sadly, a litany of hurts in recent years has resulted in a severe drop of church attendance, a severe shortage of vocations, the closing of churches and a drop in respect for our religious leaders. The Catholic community is adrift in the pain of the abuse scandal, and the scandal that plagues communities in conflict over how to make Christ present in our modern world. The bishop invited all his parishes to join him in a season of renewal beginning in Lent.

Then an “ angel” appeared in our midst. She appeared in the form of a young college student by the name of Carolyn. She bounced up eagerly to the lectern to make her announcement. In a voice that caught your attention, she announced that a group of students at Brockport College were talking about the poor, the cold and winter. They decided that they wanted to do something to make a difference. So she had come to announce that these students would be collecting blankets to give to the poor during the winter months. She asked the community to check their closets at home and donate a blanket to keep the poor warm this winter. She had bought a blanket to donate and you could see her face light up, as she knew this was what Jesus wants her to do. Her inspiration and sincerity lifted the hearts of the community with a message that simply said, “Keep on keeping on.”

Are you in a situation where it appears to be the "same old, same old"? Like our church adrift, maybe you need a lift from our angel Carolyn.

Whenever I have a troubled patient in my office, I remind them of this story. Did you ever noticed that when the Lord told the discouraged fishermen to cast their nets again it was right in that same old place where they had been working all night, and had caught nothing?

If we could only go off to some new place every time we get discouraged, trying again would be an easier thing. If we could be somebody else, or go somewhere else, or do something else, it might not be hard to have fresh faith and courage; but it is the same old net in the same old pond for most of us.

Everyday is a new day where old faults are to be conquered, where old hurts and discouragements are to be forgiven, where we have failed yesterday we are to face again today. We will win success “where we are” when we pray to God, who knows that “despite” all our disheartening efforts that we call failures, He bids us to "Keep on keeping on.”

God prays for us as we reflect: “Indeed we are called blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of the perseverance of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, because, the Lord is compassionate and merciful.” (James 5:11)

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are caught up in their hurts and resentments from the past. Bless them to "hang in there" and to know that you are with them. We are where we are at this moment. May this one make the best of it without complaining.

God Loves You Too Much!

"God loves you just the way you are, but he loves you too much to let you stay that way." I love these words and this stunning image of Jesus on the cross taken inside the Church of the Immacula on the campus of San Diego University reminds me of Christ’s first words on the cross: "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Just what have you done? After the turkey and football, comes the shopping frenzy. On Black Friday, people spent 10.3 billion in search of happiness. The compulsive urge to buy is strong when vendors tell us “to give in to the urge.” However, in this age of the internet, the buying frenzy for the holiday actually begins today on Cyber Monday when 68 million people will place their orders online.

Christ's life on earth was lived for others. He relinquished his self to live for others. We are called upon to do the same. Especially as we enter upon another season of Christmas buying madness, we need to constantly remind ourselves about where our true values should be. Christ has shown us the way to true happiness, and it doesn't come from anything in this world. Eternal life begins with our relinquishing of the things of this world.

But let me turn your attention to the best Christmas gift you might consider for yourself. The example comes from the request of the Good Thief: it is never too late to make a conversion, to turn our lives around and better arrange our priorities.

The thief asks only that Jesus remember him when he comes into his kingdom. And yet, just because he calls upon Jesus in his dying moments, our Lord promises not only to remember him in the next world but that today he will be with him in Paradise. The thief can die in peace.

It is the same for us. As long as there is breath in our bodies, forgiveness and salvation are always a possibility. As long as there is a "today", then conversion can happen. And our Lord will not only forgive us our sins but bring us to live with him forever. All we need to do is to remember that life consists of being with Christ because where Christ is, there is the kingdom.

Christ prays for us as we reflect: “Help us, God our Savior, for the glory of your name. Deliver us, pardon our sins for your name’s sake.”
(Psalm 79:9).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are in need of conversion. Help us to root out pride and greed and allow your forgiveness to flow through our veins. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

Paving the Road to Thanksgiving

This weekend, I received a letter from my doctor confirming my annual physical exam in December. The letter detailed the lab work that needs to be done prior to the visit. When I turned the page, there were eight boxes checked for lab tests. I thought that enough blood would be taken to satisfy a vampire, until the letter stated, “there is a possibility that additional blood work may be requested after your exam.” God help me!

If I wasn’t feeling run down by the approach of another holiday season, this letter set me up for more moaning and complaining. No doubt, we are already annoyed by marketing that began in September to “shop till we drop” which “zaps” our bodies resistance and makes us prone to colds and viruses. However, as we prepare to travel to sit at table with our family and friends on Thanksgiving Day, let me offer this prescription to health.

A holy monk gave this teaching to visitors at the monastery. He encouraged the people to practice gratefulness as a spiritual exercise that transforms a person who is given to moping and complaining to a person radiant with joy.

The visitors were advised to start each day by writing out a list of things they were grateful for. They were encouraged to keep a notepad by their bed, and each day before beginning their morning meditation, they take a few minutes to make a list of 7-8 items that they are grateful for that day.

I can’t begin to describe how powerful this simple exercise has been in my life in promoting healing at the level of mind, body and spirit. By starting each day with my gratitude list, I consciously shift my attention to the many blessings in life. This is light years away from my previous pattern of starting off too many days bemoaning the “insurmountable obstacles that I believed (inaccurately) lied ahead of me. What a difference this awareness makes!

In short, I am thoroughly convinced that gratitude – which I define as a sincere sense of appreciation for God’s presence in the form of the many blessings in our lives. For example, the doctor who doesn’t need my blood but he wants to make sure that all my “bodily systems” are running well. Gratitude paves the way for the healing and positive outcomes that we are seeking.

If you are struggling with any form of crisis in your life, I would urge you to set aside a few minutes each morning to compose your own daily gratitude list. If your experience is anything like mine, you will find that the results arte nothing short of miraculous.

God prays for us as we reflect: "You changed my mourning into dancing and clothed me with gladness. With my whole being I sing endless praise to you. O Lord, my God, forever I will give you thanks forever.” (Psalm 30: 12-13).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends whose presence in my life I am most humbly grateful. May their spiritual journey be paved with many signs of your holy presence and blessings in their life. May I suggest that at your Thanksgiving table, each person take a moment to express gratitude to God for their precious children, grandchildren, and all relatives and friends and truly give thanks.

Shifting Through the Ashes

On the fourth day of the San Diego firestorm, the lead story featured respiratory doctors offering advice on how best to cope with the fallen ash particles from the firestorm. “Stay indoors” was their advice. However, 1500 families were in shock when they discovered that their homes were completely destroyed. They were advised to wear R95 masks as they began the slow process of recovery by shifting through the ruins.

One local reporter asked a teenager how she was handling the lost of her home. Sarah is only 15, yet this was she second time in her life that she was shifting through the rumble of her burned out home. Her home had burned down four years ago in the Cedar Fires. At that time, she was devastated losing her clothes, family photos and toys from her childhood. In the Witch Fire of 2007, she had dug out ceramic mugs in the rubble. Again, she felt pretty sad, but it somehow did not bother her as much as before. In a profound moment, she made this comment to the reporter: “Half the stuff I had I didn’t need.”

When families received their reverse 911 call to evacuate, they were told to take only the essentials. The baby, diapers, formula, medicines and the dog. Some folks who had a little more time and grabbed their important documents and the family photos.

God tells us to be prepared because we do not know the day nor the hour when we might be called upon to “evacuate this earth.” At that moment, we might agree with Sarah’s insight that “half the stuff we have been carrying in this life we did not need.”

What excess baggage are you carrying at this moment? No need to carry resentment in the trunk (the acid causes pain in your gut). No need to lock the anger behind your eyes (the headaches are a pain in the brain). No need to be plagued by fears of shame locked in our closets (the lack of sleep leads to chronic fatigue). All this baggage results in poor health, a weak heart and a troubled soul. The only thing that matters to God is your safety. His divine mercy protects us from the fires of hell, the fires in our life. God’s love will quench our thirst for acceptance, understanding and any fear about our futures.

What do you most need from God? Watching those families pick through the rumble, a neighbor would simply come over and give them a big hug. A gesture of hope that was meant to restore their courage to rebuild their home one brick at a time. Let this message be my hug for each of you who find themselves shifting through the ashes.

God prays for us as we reflect: “May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God's and Christ's perseverance.” Thessalonians 3:5

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends who have lost everything in a fire or any storm of life. Renew their broken spirit, bring healing and comfort and focus our eyes on the love that comes from the generosity of others.

Ashes of Life

I often ask my patients to name their stress and put it on a scale of 1-10. Their pain or affliction may come from some past hurts from in-laws, or lost of job, or worse, the fear of losing their health due to some trauma. During the recent San Diego firestorm, I had the privileged of meeting a very “gentle and humble” soul. Archie was no stranger to affliction since he had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease five years ago. However, he daily practiced the lessons of faith and courage in coping with his afflictions.

Archie waited anxiously for the latest news from his son Kyle whose family had evacuated from the San Diego firestorms. He knew this family had safely evacuated their home, but he had no clue whether their home survived the raging fires. On Tuesday afternoon, Kyle called his parents and shared that his home had miraculously survived the firestorm.

The fires destroyed 11 homes across the valley from where Kyle lived. The home just below him was untouched by the flames and his home on the other side of the valley had been miraculously spared. However, there was some sad news to share with Archie. Kyle told his dad that his 150 avocado trees were burned by the fires. Archie had planted this grove over 30 years ago. The potting shed was destroyed and the irrigation system that watered the delicate green fruit was in unknown repair.

Archie shared the story that he used this avocado farm to teach his kids respect and responsibility for the value of work. Many years ago while raising his children, Saturday mornings were not a time for sleeping in but this dad had his kids working the land and caring for those delicate trees.

Archie breathed a sign of relief and offered a prayer of thanks to God that the home of his children and grandchildren’s was spared. The devastation had stopped within 100 yards from the family homestead. But Archie wondered: What was God thinking burning his precious fruit? One must realize and know down deep in their inner selves that good will come from our afflictions- and further God has allowed this affliction to come.

Once a man completely dejected by his afflictions was walking one day in one of the botanical gardens of Oxford. He noticed this really pretty pomegranate tree. It had a stem which was cut almost through! He asked - what has happened? The gardener replied with an answer which explained the wounds of this man's troubled spirit. "This tree used to shoot so strongly that it bore nothing but leaves. I therefore had to cut it in this manner. Now, when it is almost cut through it has begun to bear plenty of fruit."

Fires in southern California are a matter of fact to families living in that wilderness. God asks us to accept our troubled spirits from fires or disease with the grace and power of the Holy Spirit to endure and see how God can use it. This is, indeed, a hard saying! Some of the words of Jesus speak of how God uses hardship to grow our faith. Scripture speaks regarding God saving us out of afflictions; upholding people in affliction; being a refuge for those afflicted by life.

Despite the apparent destruction of those avocado trees, nature can be very resilient. Kyle promised his dad that he would check that irrigation system to see if it could be salvaged. Maybe, the trees themselves would stage a come back. Only time and the saving grace of God would tell the final outcome.

God prayers for us as we reflect: “I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul. (Psalm 31:7).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends whose lifetime of work appears to have gone up in smoke. Give us faith and courage in times of affliction to persevere in our firestorms and believe that good will come from the bad. May the ashes that cover the soil reach deep into the roots of those avocados to restore their vigor and bring forth the miracle of fresh fruit to revive this dad’s troubled spirit.