A Nurse's Heart and Eyes

A woman 36 years old was laying in the intensive care unit with breast cancer. An O2 mask covered her face as she struggled to breathe and say her last words. She had signed the "do not resuscitate" orders and requested only to be kept comfortable in her final hours.

This woman turned to her nurse and whispered to turn off the monitors. There was no need for this nurse to watch the machines. All this patient needed was her nurse’s heart and her eyes. This compassionate clinician had the vision on how to keep her patient comfortable. When the patient winced in pain, she would gently add more drip to ease her discomfort. When her lips appeared dry, this nurse would dip a swab into some cool water to moisturize and soothe her mouth. When the patient made a fist by her side, this nurse took her hand and folded it into her own for strength to let her know that she was not alone.

This nurse had the visceral instincts to know what her patient needed. It was not technology that would help ease the pain in her dying moments, but a compassionate and mindful spirit. She helped to ease her patient’s fears and bring her strength and peace of mind and soul. The prayers were silent but her watchful care shouted praises for her heartfelt skills. She was the answer to her patient’s prayers. This patient never felt alone or abandoned in her final hours. No technology will ever be invented to satisfy this need for human interaction nor comfort the spirit in moments of darkness. Rather, it is only the dedicated heart and eyes of someone trained to be an angel of comfort and peace. We need to bow our heads in thanksgiving for these angels of mercy.

A Sonshine Friend graduated tonight with her fellow nurses and told me how she was looking forward to return to her unit at the Jewish Home. She pledged to be the eyes and heart to three patients who are waiting to meet the Lord. What a blessing she will be to these ladies as they journey to eternal glory with an angel at their side to gently carry them over to Paradise.

Lord pray for us as we reflect: “For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling,” (Psalm 116:8).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends who are healers. The nurses, doctors, nurse practitioners, physician assistants and counselors who heal with their hearts and eyes.

Making A List

Yesterday, during my morning commute to the office, two radio jocks were teasing their listeners and advising all their male buddies “Don’t do it!” Don’t get married, don’t buy a home and don’t have kids. However, these silly announcers fessed up that they are married, own a home and have kids. What’s their point?
It’s lots of work but “it’s worth it!” They asked their audience to share what was their most special memory as a dad. One dad shared taking his son to a World Series ballgame. Then another dad chimed in, holding his first born for the first time. This is the way God created the “male brain.” It travels in circles with all its silliness until it makes a soft landing on the correct runway.

Along with “lots of work” came the profound message that being a dad means, “making a list.” After his morning show, one announcer ran through his list for the day. Replace the rubber mat in the basement, fix a leaky toilet, paint the outdoor porch, repair and clean the grill, and build a dog run. Perplexed, his radio colleague asked: How long have you had the dog? Two years was his friend’s reply. To which his buddy said: “and you think today you’re going to get it all done.” That’s male brain again.

Another dad shared that he was going through some turmoil last week. At his breaking point, on his “to do list” he found himself in the chapel of one of the area hospitals. I wonder if it was the chapel where I celebrated so many prayers for patients and staff? He emailed me that “Prayer” brought him a peace that he had not in some time.

Let me quote: “It washed over me as I sat quietly and asked God to listen. I think that God already knows where I am without asking him to notice, but knowing that I was not alone was very good for me.”

God is praying for you dads who have “too much” on your “to do list.”
Pray and reflect: “Come to me, all (dads) who find life burdensome. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matt 11:29-30.

I recommend that the next time you make your “to do list” don’t forget to list some time with God in prayer to heal your tired bones and weary spirit.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Dads and nurturing fathers whose “job lists” seem endless. When they need a sounding board, you make a difference because before your eyes they are truly “awesome!”

Will I Be Missed?

He was 50 years old when I was born, and a "Mr. Mom" long before anyone had a name for it. I didn't know why he was home instead of Mom, but I considered myself very lucky because he did so many things for me during my grade school years. For example, he always had my lunch ready for me when I came home--usually a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that was shaped for the season. My favorite was at Christmas. The sandwiches would be sprinkled with green sugar and cut in the shape of a tree.

When I went to high school and tried to gain my independence, I wanted to move away from those "childish" signs of his love, but dad didn't give up. Since I was no longer able to go home for lunch, dad would get up a little early and make a lunch for me. I never knew what to expect. There might be a napkin with a heart inscribed with "Dad-n-KK" in its center or an "I love you." Many times he would write a joke or a riddle on it.

I used to hide my lunch so no one would see the napkin, but that didn't last long. One of my friends saw it one day, grabbed it, and passed it around the lunch room. My face was red with embarrassment. To my astonishment, the next day all my friends were waiting to see the napkin. From the way they acted, I think they all wished they had someone who showed them that kind of love. I was so proud to have him as my father.

I left home for college, I missed seeing him every day after school and so I called him a lot. We started a ritual during that first year that stayed with us. After I said good-bye he always said, "K K, I love you." It was during this time that Dad became stricken with cancer. When the letters didn't come, I knew that he had been sick and wasn't able to write.

Those were the hardest days to go through. To watch this man, who always acted so young, age past his years. I was alone with him in his hospital room a couple of days before he died. We held hands and watched TV. As I was getting ready to leave, he said, "KK'” "Yes, Dad?" “Ilove you." "I love you, too, Dad."

I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that one message I wish that I could hammer home to all of you, whether you are fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, aunts, uncles, grandmothers or grandfathers, it is the message of this story: to tell one another "I love you" while you still can

Charity

I read a story about another scandal. It pointed a finger at a friend whom I highly respect. Scandal comes in all shapes and sizes. The consequences for the accused are either prison or bankruptcy. I would prefer to think that the system leads to justice and mercy.

What I admire about this Sonshine friend is their genuine love and respect for all creatures great and small. This kind soul cared for a beautiful German shepherd names Jessie. The dog was a gentle soul like the companion. However, this faithful companion suffered a miserable disease that made the animal incontinent. Embarrassing for any adult who has to cope with this inconvenience, our gentle soul would clean up the messes and never once complained. Sure the disease was a bother, but how often do you perform tasks that no one would touch—“scrubbing the bathroom bowl comes to mind” and never complain.

Our ability to love others beyond the call of duty is tested daily. Taking care of a loved one with dementia, living with a partner who suffers depression, or cleaning up the messes of your sick puppy are not easy chores. Jessie had found a home in which the master looked beyond the inconvenience and loved this animal despite the clutter of “duty.”

We learn in life to step over the messes and look away from the quirks or crazy relatives that you cannot fix. I believe many people dump their mates prematurely thinking that the next relationship will be easier.

Giving up the idea of perfection from your companion and settling for “good enough” is not caving in. It gives you the time to experience the unselfish love that the Lord taught and lived in his daily life. The essence of authentic happiness comes from a willingness to care for the innocence, the unborn, the frail and fragile. When we give strength and hope to others we truly walk in the spirit of God’s love. Cleaning up the messes of your beloved pet, best friend and companion are a way of waling in the light and truth of God’s love. We focus our energy on the more important tasks to cuddle and reassure our best friend that they are not alone in their suffering.

Scandal could turn this compassionate soul to prison despite their plea of innocence. So I called this gentle soul who did not answer their phone and left this message: “ You are and always will be a trusted friend.”

Pray and reflect: “Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD; may your love and your truth always protect me.” Psalm 40:11.

Lord, I pray for all my Sunshine Friends who publicly have been shamed.
Give them strength and courage. It is mercy we desire when we have made our own messes in life. We pray for the victims who have no voice and help them to heal of their wounds.

Black Hole

He only wanted some company so this separated husband called his wife to ask her out not for a date but just to have coffee and a bite to eat. Her answer was “why didn’t you call me earlier in the day, I’m just getting settled to watch some DVD’s?” Angry and disappointed, this lonely husband turns to his other mistress of the past his gambling and drinking addiction and goes on a binge. He says this relationship with gambling never made him happy. Odd thing to say when most treatment says people turn to their addictions of choice to find relief. Instead, this man’s admits that his addiction only him feel worse.

Sometimes, our anger demands that we can’t accept differences from other people. His wife didn’t say I never want to see you again. In fact. the couple was making genuine progress in healing their broken marriage. She only wanted him to accept that for one evening she wanted to chill and do her own thing. Instead anger says, I want…I want…I want… always my way or the highway.

After 45 days of sobriety our lonely man was challenged to resume his sobriety path. He could go back to a meeting or call his sponsor or now he sat in from of me to confess this relapse and it was time to heal.

Lord, there are many dumb decisions we make in a lifetime. However, let us never run away from you when you are calling into our souls to drive out the selfishness and pain and offer your healing and comfort.

Our man promised he would go to gamblers anonymous that night. It was not his first thought after our meeting, but the mistress made another false promise. Just use me whenever you are lonely or afraid and I will bring you relief. She lied again, but he felt only worse, but couldn’t help himself but placed another bet, take another chance or take another sip.

It is only when we surrender of powerlessness that we understand healing begins. So if its mercy you seek when you fail to accept the differences of loved ones and want to run away with your drug to hide and bathe in your self pity. Come back to the Lord and let his power embrace you with his sweet mercy and make you feel whole again.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends who are consumed with their addictions. It might the porn on the internet, or your nicotine or marijuana, or whatever chemical you ingest to forget the black hole you feel you are in. Pray to God to come out of your tomb into his light and experience his peace and calming balm.

Planting Roses

You would think asking your husband to plant a few lovely rose bushes wouldn’t be such a big deal. But it led to one of the worse arguments this couple of 40 years ever had in their history. Such a small request that leads to such a big blow up. Why is this happening Lord?

My poor lady suffers from diabetes and poor vision. She was already losing her sight before this miserable disease and no one not even her husband understands what’s it like to slowly lose your sight. Worse, she had another serious episode when something happened inside her eyes and it was diagnosed as fluid detaching from her retina. Everything looks like “fish scales” and this would make anyone of else anxious and edgy.

Her request to ask her husband to do some gardening was met with the usual promise that he would get to it. But when our depressed, blurred vision lady asked her husband to dig the hole for the bushes, he had more excuses and more important things to attend do. This is when she “lost it.” She felt abandoned, unimportant and alone. When his spouse returned from his chores, he said he was ready to dig the hole and wanted to know how big it should be. She replied, “make the hole as big as you and put yourself it.” Opps!

Lord, our anger gets the best of us whenever we feel that no one understands our pain, our disease, our lonely thoughts. There are many times we are blinded by our own selfishness to get things done our way.

Lead us all away from the blindness that makes love become cold. Help us to see more clearly that requests from a loved one are not about dominance but a genuine need for help and reassurance.

Sometimes we just don’t see as clearly as we think we had hoped. Maybe some drops of kindness and charity would help clear our vision to see that our loved one need us to respond with generosity and kindness.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends who suffer from blindness, cancer, multiple sclerosis, fibromylgia, chronic back pain and all the miseries that make us feel we are in a dark hole and want to scream. Lord, heal and strengthen us in those moments. Come, Spirit rekindle in our hearts the desire to know that you want us to be healed of all our misery and pain.

Walking with the Lord

One time there were two warring tribes in the Andes, one that lived in the lowland and the other high in the mountains. The mountain people invaded the lowlanders one day, and as part of their plundering of the people, they kidnapped a baby of one of the lowlander’s families and took the infant with them back up into the mountains. The lowlanders didn’t know how to climb the mountains. They didn’t know any of the trails that the mountain people used, and they didn’t know where to find the mountain people or how to track them in the steep terrain. Even so, they sent out their best party of fighting men to climb the mountain and bring the baby home.

The men tried first one method of climbing and then another. They tried one trail and then another. After several days of effort, however, they had climbed only a couple of hundred feet. Feeling hopeless and helpless, the lowlander men decided that the cause was lost, and they prepared to return to their village below. As they were packing their gear for the descent, they saw the baby’s mother walking toward them. They realized that she was coming down the mountain that they hadn’t been able to climb. And, they saw that she had the baby strapped to her back. How could this be?

One man greeted her and said, “We couldn’t climb this mountain. How did you do this when we, the strongest and most able men in the village, couldn’t do it?” She shrugged her shoulders and said, “It wasn’t your baby.”

What saved the baby was a mother’s love. What enables us to walk a difficult path is Jesus’ love. When something is important to us we are willing and able to make the walk. Do you want to be made well? Do you want to pursue a life-long dream? Do you want to make an improvement in your life? Do you want your faith to be stronger? Rise, take up your mat and walk!

The 200 plus mothers you asked me to pray for on this Sunday are simply amazing. Whether in heaven or on earth, they made the walk because no one could do it for them. They are our models of walking with the Lord.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends and their mothers and thank you for the love of mothers who believe in us and encourage us to make the walk.

Walk

Last night I visited a retired Sonshine friend who struggles with her multiple sclerosis for the past 20 years. Her doctors would like her to quit smoking. I told her that when she was ready she would quit. However, she said that prescription was not working and she needed a stronger dose—meaning stronger words to make her want to quit! So, I told her “it’s time to quit!” Friday would be the anniversary of her father’s birthday who died of emphysema. It would be her quit day.

I thought that she might refuse. But, she didn’t hesitate. Perhaps she was in so much emotional pain that she was ready to do anything. On the other hand, this friend is a person with a deep faith and she trusted her doctor whom she refers to as Dr. Prozac. Fortunately she accepted the challenge and she is ready to quit smoking.

Jesus challenged the man at Bethzatha to “stand up, take his mat and walk.” “At once the man was made well, and he took up his mat and began to walk.” Unlike my procrastinating friend who waited several years to quit, this man waited thirty-eight years before he could walk. During that time he was just a few yards away from the healing waters of the pool by the Sheep Gate. However, he never made it to the pool.

Since Jesus asked the question, “Do you want to be made well?” the implication is that the man may have been apprehensive. He seemed also to make excuses. “No one would help me,” he said, and “Someone always steps in front of me.” The man was playing the role of victim.

The man beside the pool at Bethzatha was not willing to try. He lay helplessly near the pool that could give him new life. If he reached the swirling waters of the pool he would have the potential to be made well. So why didn’t he try? If he did it meant he would have to change. He could no longer wallow in self pity, having others feeling sorry for him. He was stuck, miserably stuck. No wonder Jesus asked if he wanted to be healed.

Why is it that we fail to try something that can help us? Why is it so hard to quit smoking or change our diets? Why do we refrain from exercise when we know it will make us feel better? Why do we ignore opportunities for travel and relaxation when we know it will refresh us? Why do so many people skip worship when they have found nourishment for the soul in the past?

Perhaps it is the fear of change. Perhaps it is just plain stubbornness. The man in the gospel story saw only obstacles. He was defeated before he even tried. It was not until Jesus confronted him with the question, "Do you want to be healed?" that the man finally gave in.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends and believe that Jesus wants the best for all of us. Sometimes we have to be confronted or challenged in order to be made well. Notice that Jesus didn’t touch the man or lay hands on him. He didn’t say he needed faith to be made well. There was no prayer, no magic. He simply told him to “walk.” My friends, “it’s time to walk…”

Maybe We Need Some Washing

Now I understand a tiny bit better what it means to be a mom. Its 11 pm on a Sunday night and the kettle is simmering with the beans and onions for tonight’s Soup Supper. Tired and exhausted from managing the household, holding down the fort for the daily crises, I don’t know how mothers do it.

On Sunday, I shared the story about a college freshman who struggled with her alcohol addiction. She called on Saturday morning to inform me that she was in trouble with the police. There was this party on Friday night and you get the idea. I asked: "Did you call you mother?" She said she did and I knew that she would be in good hands. I remembered the old Sonshine story about the grandma who was losing her sight. Her grandkids felt sorry for her , but her youngest granddaughter said these profound words: "If God can get grandma through this, He can get us through anything!"

Now some people would laugh and scold this little girl for being silly. Some would just ignore what the she said. But I believe this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.

Honey, her mother said, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If God let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing. Then off mother and daughter ran. The people who witnessed this grace-filled moment stood watching, smiling and laughing as mom and daughter darted past the cars and through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars. Sometimes, we need washing to allow the graces of God to heal us and make us free from our foolish ways.

I can imagine when this mom got the phone call from her daughter about the party, about her troubles with the police, her words of affirmation: were: “Are you alright?” It was time for another washing.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who give thanks for their mothers. No one can comfort us better in our failures. May we forever be grateful for how she mentored us and even disciplined us. Bless her, Lord, and comfort her. Strengthen her when she is down and give her hope when she is discouraged. Most of all, Lord, on this coming Mother's Day, give our mothers the the graces she most needs and desires.

The Power to Choose

One spring afternoon a five-year-old was helping his dad replant some irises along the side of a sunny fence. A neighbor joined them for a few moments. Our young lad pointed to the ground. Look Daddy! What’s that? This dad stopped talking with his neighbor and looked down. A beetle. Our youngster was fascinated and pleased with the discovery of this fancy, colorful creature. The neighbor lifted his foot and stepped on the insect giving his shoe an extra twist in the dirt. That ought to do it, he laughed. The shocked boy looked up at his father, waiting for a reason. That night, just before he turned off his light for bed, our young man whispered to his father. I liked that beetle, Daddy. His father whispered back, I did too. My friends, we have the power to choose.

We have the power to choose how we will respond to every living thing that crosses our path. We have the power to love one another or not.

I am grateful to God daily for the gift of serving as his priest for thirty years. Ministry is a choice and we all have been ordained by the Good Shepherd to serve in many ways. I am aware how well each of you is serving in the following ways…

Parents respond to their daughters who suffer grand mal seizures. A nurse listens to her patient who attempted suicide on a psych unit. A social worker helps an angry child learn to find calm. The NICU nurses offer comfort to their cancer kids. Others bath a bedsore patient. A college student listens to a friend’s tale of family tensions. A retired person volunteers to bike hundreds of miles for a charity. A college student with bone cancer helps change a tire of a patient in my office parking lot. Professors and neighbors are cooking crock-pots of chili to feed hundreds of Brockport students during exam week. Ordinary, non-spectacular, run-of-the-mill behavior. But love has been chosen. These people “have laid down their loves,” have “died to self.” In short, they have loved as Jesus did, which means they chose to pay the cost.

Authentic love costs. It cost parents, nurses, professors, students and Jesus. The banner at my first Mass said: “This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you.” Well done, my friends.

Lord, I promise to continue to pray for all my Sonshine Friends who daily lay down their lives for their friends. My Anniversary Blessing upon you all for good health, wealth and happiness. May this blessing dissolve all negativity in your life and find only peace.

Blistered Hands

I was working in the garden in my iris bed. Last year, these flowers did not bloom. I was told to check for bores that get inside the root and destroy the flower. Digging through the soil was a chore that soon left blisters on my hands. The soil was hard, rocky and filled with roots from the nearby maple tree. The irises needed room to breath and I had neglected to turn over the soil and add compost which would help the irises to grow once again.

In the tragedy of Virginia Tech, how should we respond? What is the wisdom we need to gleam after this violence which simply brings to my mind the “meanness in the world.” I had witnessed this meanness in NYC after 9/11. Everyday, “meanness” smothers life. It might be more violence in Iraqi, or genocide in Darfur, or the death of an infant in NICU.

How shall we respond to meanness in our world? I would say mostly with a challenge. To do more to help the suffering. To speak up against intolerance. To organize. To protest. To write letters. To make a difference.

One thing we are good at as pastors, rabbis and pastoral ministers is knowing how to use words. Personally, I prefer to use visual images. A Virginia Tech or a Brockport or RIT student might ask how to deal with the heartbreak that “meanness” causes in the world. It might be the heartbreak of losing a family member – like your grandfather or for a patient of mine—her grandson.

I say, remember your loved ones. Remember their stories, remember their smile . . . And help those who suffer now, people you don’t know. By helping them overcome their suffering, and you will overcome your own.

Sometimes students want to know which “meanness” should they pick among the many causes in the world. Choose one, choose any one, then, inevitably, that will lead to others. For each “meaness” think of the tears the person left behind such as the parents of those who died at Virginia Tech or in NYC on 9/11, or in Sudan.

Jesus said: “I have come to bring you peace.” Many people might scream at God after such “meanness” and ask where is your love? Why is there so much suffering in the world?

I think our role in life is to go around the world and collect these tears and bring their cause to the world.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who suffer from the “meanness” in their life. Help us to choose a cause: a CROP Walk, or cooking dinner for students during Exam Week or helping our local migrants, or serving food to the poor, or praying with parents of their dying child. Pour out your healing salve to anoint our “blistered hands” which hurt from digging through the meanness in the earth. Help us to grow with Your compassionate love.

Something Beautiful

Last night, I thanked our college students for coming to Mass on such a “cruddy night.” A storm warning predicted lots of snow in April, and it was damp and raining and just plain miserable.

After the resurrection. the friends of Jesus were most likely feeling cruddy. Locked behind closed doors, they stumbled around for answers. Thomas appears to be feeling the worse holding a grudge against Jesus that he failed to keep his promise to make them leaders of his kingdom. Rather, their leader died in shame.

How many grudges do you hold against God because things have not gone your way? We remember only the cruelties of being mocked in school, or ridiculed by others, the dishonesty of colleagues, the insensitivity of our partner, the ingratitude of our children.

Then Jesus comes knocking at our door, or rather simply comes inside the room filled with a bunch of miserable, cruddy feelings. “Peace be with you,” he says and next proceeds to tell Thomas to touch him so that he might believe. Actually, the real miracle you might have missed is that Jesus forgives us when we blame Him for all our troubles. “I come to bring you peace.”

Did you know that God is trying to shape you. To do so He must remove from you all that does not look like Him—the cruddy parts of our life like impatience and grudges. Created in His image, we have a lot of baggage that needs to be removed. I speak of the things that separate us from the Lord.

Peace comes in “giving the problem" to Him. It is indeed true that God is shaping us from one image to another. In fact that is what He says. "I am changing you from one image to another." Sometimes the effects of the chisel hurts - but the results is "something beautiful"

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are feeling rather “cruddy” on a stormy morning. Sometimes we think no one appreciates or understands our efforts. By your “divine mercy” let us be transformed into “something beautiful.”

What Is Your Easter Grass?

One Easter morning a mother learned that God cares about all the seemingly unimportant details of our everyday lives. We often think of praying to God when our lives are turned upside down by a tragedy or a problem that we will never be able to fix. But God cares about the little things too.

Easter was one day away and she had yet to fill the Easter basket for her children. She got the eggs, and some small goodies, and then remembered. Easter grass! She didn’t have any! The stores were all out. She had waited too long. She returned home feeling really bad because she wanted a special basket for her children.

She prayed, "God, what am I going to do?" In her distress, and still trying to figure out how to make their basket look “grassy” she couldn’t go outside and cut some real grass because there was an inch of snow on the ground. There was a knock on the door and there stood the neighbor’s boy, with a plate of Easter cookies.

He said, "My mom thought you might like some cookies." Mom thanked the lad and her eyes popped out and filled with tears. Not so much because she had a plate of cookies, but because underneath the cookies, on the plate, were a pile of green Easter grass!

She believed she saw God smile as she took that grass and excitedly put it into her children’s basket, and filled it with chocolate treats.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends on this Easter snowy morning that says you care about the little things in our life. My image shows a real pair of mourning dove eggs in their nest protected inside the spruce tree outside my window. I pray that these eggs hatch safely from their fragile nest. For I believe that Easter is everyday because God cares about supplying Easter grass when there is none and helping my little mourning doves hatch safely. What is the Easter grass in your life? And know that God cares. A Blessed Easter!

Am I a Donkey or a Jackass?

The donkey that Jesus rode into Jerusalem was a gift a faith from some unknown farmer. Heaven knows this poor farmer could have been too busy working his land but it was his generosity and faith we need to imitate.

A donkey was a very big thing in those days. It was the equivalent of a SUV’s, RAM truck and a John Deere tractor all in one. As the SUV it moved people around a to do their shopping, as a truck it was used to carry heavy loads, and as a tractor it was used in cultivating the land. Add to this the fact that the donkey had never been ridden means it was brand new and had a very high market value.

Let me remind you that each of us has got a donkey that the Lord needs. Sadly, our response might be more in the line of a stubborn jackass.

Sometimes I get the impression that God wants me to give him something and sometimes I don't give it because I don't know for sure, and then I feel bad because I've missed my chance. Other times I know he wants something but I don't give it because I'm too selfish. And other times, too few times, I hear him and feel honored that a gift of mine would be used to carry Jesus to another place. And still other times I wonder if my little deeds will make a difference in the long haul.

In a profound meditation, Deacon Larry asked our students and faculty to reflect on three things Jesus said during his Passion. The first words were: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Then later he said to the thief on the cross, “This day you will be with me in Paradise.” And finally, hanging on the cross: “Father, into your hands I commend my Spirit.”

All of us have a donkey. You and I each have something in our lives, which, if given back to God, could, like the donkey, move Jesus and his story further down the road. However, too often we behave like a jackass. We gossip about others, or tell lies, or behave in crude ways and when we get caught we can’t sleep or eat. It is at that moment Jesus comes to our jackass and says: “Father, forgive them…”

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who feel the pain and loneliness of guilt and shame in our “jackass moments.” Help us to see the donkey inside which belongs to him. Our gifts are his as the donkey was his. So, what is the name of your donkey? The Lord has need of it.

Look of Love

And the woman looked into his eyes and saw compassion. How many times have we been caught doing the wrong thing? There’s the shame of fessing up to a loved one that we have been disloyal, not at our best or just plain stupid.

The Pharisees, the law enforcers, had a habit of trying to put Jesus in difficult situations. If he answered stone the person to death, he
would lose the name he had gained for mercy and never again would be called the friend of sinners. Second, he would come into collision with Roman law, for Jews had no power to carry out the death sentence on anyone. If he said that the sinner should be pardoned, it could immediately be said that he was teaching people to break the law of Moses, and that he was condoning and even encouraging them to sin.

So, before he answers their questions, he does a strange thing: he bends down and writes in the sand. We could conjecture from now until the end of time about why he did this and will come up with no answers.

I would propose that our Lord bent down and wrote in the sand so that he would not have to look anyone in the eye, because if he did, he knew that he would be able to read their minds. First of all, if he had looked at the woman, her eyes would have been full of shame. If he looked at the Pharisees, he would have seen anger and hatred, both for the woman and for him.

But think for a moment, what would the woman have seen in Jesus' eyes? Consider his words: "Woman, has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she answered. Jesus said, "Nor do I condemn you." If we had been there, we would have probably seen a look of forgiveness or what could be called the "look of love". What the woman would have seen would have been the eyes of compassion.

This morning we might ask ourselves: what do people see in our eyes? Do they see anger or hatred? Like the Pharisees, are we quick to cast an accusatory finger at the wrongs of another while failing to acknowledge the sins we have committed ourselves? Are we quick to point out the speck in another's eyes while failing to see the beam in our own?

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that what others see are eyes full of compassion. Help us to surrender the anger, hatred and prejudice of our past history and turn to the Lord. And once we do, then truly, others will be able to look into our eyes and see the “look of love.”

God Is In The Details

The story of the prodigal son is probably the best known of all the parables of Christ. We have heard it so often that most of us take it for granted. And so we just might miss the details, and one detail you might have missed is the crafty and cunning man who offered the son the job of tending the swine.

The unnamed man can plainly see that before him stands a Hebrew lad. He can also see what this young man is up against: no money, no friends, no place to call his own. This young man is obviously someone who is down and out, a stranger in a strange land. You can almost see the man smiling and rubbing his hands as he says, “OK, Hebrew boy it’s the pigs or nothing!”

In short, this wicked man took advantage of the son’s plight and vulnerability to alienate him from his people, his culture, his tradition, his family, his religion, and his sense of decency. Do we have people like that in our society?

In every city, you will have smiling people stalking the prodigal adolescents who get off the buses, knowing that very soon these teenagers will be desperate for food, clothing and shelter. And these smiling stalking predators, will say: “OK boys and girls: sell your body and we’ll give you something to eat. Give us your heritage, your culture, your religion, your values, all that you have been taught.” This is just one example of the pigsty solicitation that goes on everyday in our own time an, our own culture.

This predator mentality occurs on the Internet as the moral values of honesty, decency and chastity are sold down the river to sensationalism, the quick deal, violence and freewheeling sex. It happens when the athletic scout tempts high schoolers to forsake academics and share in the million sports market. It happens whenever anyone gives our young people a drink or a snort of cocaine or solicits them over the Internet.

Sadly, there are lots of people waiting too take advantage of our vulnerabilities, which ask for our heritage in exchange for momentary high. The pigsty owner in today’s parable is very much alive.

The younger son represents all the people who want no father, no one to answer to, no limits, no restraint, no relationship, no responsibility, no judgment. They wish their father—God—dead. They want to be free to do their own destructive thing.

However, let me point out one final detail. Have this image in your mind. The son is returning home, still a long way off, the father—God—does what no parent in that time would ever consider doing: the father runs to greet his son. No father in that culture would do such a thing: he would wait for the boy to come up to him, sniveling and falling at the father’s feet. But here, in a most undignified manner, the father lifts up his tunic and runs, not walks, to his son.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends parents, grandparents, extended family members who strive daily to be a good example to their children. God will be God, and we must try to do likewise. And what is the bottom line to this story, this homily? God is in the details.

I Am Going To Hell

Last evening, I drove to Buffalo at the request of a Sonshine Friend to visit her mom in a nursing home. Her mother has suffered from depression for far too long. Worse she had told her daughter that she was “going to hell.” Where did this horrible thought come from? Who had nurtured this doom in the heart of this woman of faith? I sat on one side of her wheel chair holding this woman’s hand while her daughter translated in mom’s native language this story.

On a holy card, there was a woman huddled behind a locked door, paralyzed by fear and darkness. Outside the door Jesus stands with a lantern, knocking ready to relieve this woman of her burden. But there’s a hitch: this door only has a knob on the inside. Jesus cannot enter unless the woman unlocks the door from her side. The implication here is that God cannot help unless we first let God in. For our fearful mom, this will not work because “in her mind” she is going to hell.

I believe that many of us face crosses like this fearful mother when we are paralyzed by some sin and overcome by darkness that we can no longer help ourselves. I believe at this moment God comes through our locked doors, (our minds burning with images of hell) to stand inside our fears and paralysis, and breathe out peace.

The love that is revealed in Jesus’ suffering and death is so other-centered that it can forgive and embrace its executioners, passed through locked doors, melt frozen hearts, and penetrate the walls of fear. In a word, it can descend into our private hells and breathe peace.

I anointed this tortured soul with the Sacrament of the Sick and gave her Holy Communion. And then I asked her a simple question. Do you believe that Jesus loves you? And she smiled, “yes.” At one point, she asked, “Where is Jesus?” I told her in the voice of her daughter translating the words of peace to her heart. Then she smiled and said, “I believe.”

Here is the key. When your thoughts go off into darkness because you think you cannot be forgiven of your sins. “He descended into hell,” means that there is no hell where Jesus cannot, will not. be. Why, they haven’t invented the hell where his love cannot penetrate. They haven’t built the door that his love cannot pass through.

I have no doubt that when this woman goes home to God she will wake up on the other side and find Christ standing inside her fear and darkness, breathing out peace. “He descended into hell” simply means that Jesus’ love is there in the worst places of our lives.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who fear that that they are going to hell. Come at this moment with your lantern of hope and unlock our fear and darkness. Come and bless these little ones with your healing and peace.

Who Lights Up Our Face?

Once in a while, perhaps in a rare moment when we are very much discouraged or overwhelmed, we deeply encounter the Lord in prayer, or we meet a kind and understanding person who lights up our face with the warmth of understanding and kind love. Such moments can keep us going for a long time.

Last week, a Sonshine Friend developed complications and required major surgery to correct a blockage. I called a long-time physician late at night and he took the time to explain the treatment, which brought light to the subject and settled my worst fears.

There is a distinguished professor who finds the time to light up my day by offering his support and prayers in my ministry. I know when he speaks; it is more than words for he speaks from his heart.

You know, you are a very important person and I would miss you dearly if something happened to you. Do you know that? Do you really know that you do matter? There are so many with whom I counsel that say they know it, but I feel they know it in their "mind" and not their "heart" It is the heart that matters.

It may not seem to matter if we do what we are supposed to do, but it does matter to God. You matter to God. You are very important to Him. In fact, you are very precious to Him.

Pray and reflect: “When they call to me, I will answer them; I will be with them in trouble, I will rescue them and honor them.” Psalm 91:15.
This tells me that I matter to God. That makes you a very important person. In the music of life, do not fail to make your part of the melody.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are very important. May they do their part in making beautiful music...right where they are, right where they work, right where they live. May this one take courage in knowing that you are aware of them.

Bathing in Forgiveness

Once again, I had a college sophomore in my office looking for help with his career. He talked about dropping out of college after failing to complete last semester taking five incompletes. But he had another agenda in mind, which I did not hear about until weeks later.

He admitted that he had using marijuana daily for several years. Then he got involved with cocaine which he started using every other week. He was not only afraid of the law, but afraid that he get tossed out of school if he didn’t flunk out first.

This young man asked: “Supposing there is a God, would he accept a man like me?” I did not hesitate to answer him for I preparing a Lenten Penance Service homily on Matthew’s gospel, last verse. “For I have come to call not the righteous but sinners,” (Matt 9:13).

I shared this verse with him, but his mind was obsessed with all the sins he had committed, and so I countered with Matthew’s words again: “I have come to call not the righteous but sinners.”
No less than seventeen times did this student try to explain to me why he was unworthy to receive forgiveness. Seventeen times, I simple repeated the words, “I have come to call not the righteous but sinners.” I don’t know if I wore him down, but finally he bowed his head, cried a little and asked me, Would you hear my confession? I want to come home.

This young person is back in school trying to complete his degree and he got what he really did want: forgiveness, peace and a return to his true home. And there he was and all students of the Lord in my mind’s eye: at the table with Matthew, college students, professors, parents, colleagues, CEO’s, pilots, crewmembers, that greedy tax collectors, sinners---AND Jesus.

Sometimes I see humanity as a sea of people starving for affection, tenderness, care, love, acceptance, forgiveness…everyone seems to cry, “Please, love me.”

The story of Matthew says that there stands Jesus ready to do so. As Mother Teresa said of the lepers she treated, “We have drugs for people with diseases like leprosy, but these drugs do not treat the main problem, the disease of being unwanted.” And there stands Jesus who does want us, disease and all.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends who have felt the pain of rejection from their family and friends but NEVER from your arms and voice. Let us humbly bring our weaknesses before your altar and bathe in your Spirit of healing and forgiveness. Peace to all my Sonshine Friends.

Corrupted Files

Last night, I was downloading my memory card with some stunning winter scenes. Hpwever, an “error message” read you have “corrupted files.” This means I missed a step in downloading a new file. There’s no forgiveness in learning new software. However, thank God I have backup from Sonshine Friends Denise, Louis and Jen who patiently teach the ways of MAC and Nikon digital.

Luke’s version of the Sermon on the Plain Jesus teaches: “Love your enemies.” A moral teaching way outside our range of possibility. So I need your “corrupted brain” to put on the “Hebrew brain” to understand what these words actually mean, “to love your enemies, to do good to those you hate you, not to resist evil, if somebody slaps you on one cheek, offer the other?”

Last night, I challenged my college students that violence occurs on campus. There are incidents when a student is beaten up or raped. If one suffers a broken jaw or a victim of trauma, how does one “Love your enemies.” Does this mean not to resist people who are evil? If someone hits the right side of the jaw of a student, does he offer the left side of the face? Is that what Jesus meant for him to do?”

Before our Christian brain registers an “error message” about loving enemies you have to think like a Hebrew. You get into trouble if you take it literally. You have to understand Aramaic or Jewish slang in order to understand what was being said.

The key verse is this: “Be compassionate as your heavenly father is compassionate.” Be compassionate to evil and sinful people as your heavenly father is compassionate to you. All the verses from this section are to be interpreted through the lens of this key verse.

Slapping you on the right cheek was Hebrew slang for exchanging insults. If somebody insults you, don’t insult them back. Don’t exchange insults. Don’t trade insult for insult. Be compassionate to them. Be good to your insulters. That is what this Aramaic phrase means. It doesn’t have anything to do with exchange harsh blows to the face.

Jesus is inviting his disciples to be generously compassionate and forgiving as his heavenly father is generously compassionate and forgiving. Such an idea was very radical. Do good to those that hate you.

Lord, I pray for my Sonshine Friends who get an “error message” about their moral life that sound off pitch or an octive too high. You want us to look through the lens and set our sights on simply being compassionate, not cruel to other; forgiving, not holding grudges; generous, not selfish with our material gains; understanding, not nasty to our soldiers who defend our freedoms. As we begin another Lenten Season, may the Spirit inspire us, motivate us, and lift us up to be much more compassionate to those who hurt us, just as God is compassionate to people like us. To those people who do us evil, we return an act of kindness rather than an act of revenge.