Looking Through Your Heart

A young woman was falling back into her old patterns of oversleeping and depression. She was going through a difficult time since her layoff in January. She was dealing with her nasty depression, financial worries, struggle with a relationship, and a sense that her life was falling apart. I suppose you could call it a wilderness experience. In the midst of it she had a kind of spiritual awakening in which she actually began to pray to God not knowing who or what God was but she was convinced to follow through on the experience with the help of others.

In her wilderness search, she asked her spiritual director for an answer to her dilemma. "I want to have a lasting experience of God," She told him. "Sometimes I feel like I understand the divinity of this world, but then I lose it because I get distracted by my petty desires and fears. I want to be with God all the time. But I don't want to be a monk, or totally give up worldly pleasures. I guess what I want to learn is how to live in this world and enjoy its delights, but also devote myself to God."

Her spiritual director said he could answer her question with a picture. He showed her a sketch he had drawn once during meditation. It was an androgynous human figure, standing up, hands clasped in prayer. But this figure had four legs, and no head. Where the head should have been, there was only wild foliage of ferns and flowers. There was a small, smiling face drawn over the heart. "To find the balance you want," he shared this image. “This is what you must become. You must keep your feet grounded so firmly on the earth that it's like you have four legs, instead of two. That way, you can stay in the world. But you must stop looking at the world through your head. You must look through your heart, instead. That way, you will know God."

I believe this is the way that Jesus lived. He had his feet firmly in the world but also looked at the world through his heart. For Jesus' purpose was God's purpose and that was to care for people, to invest his life for people, to serve people, to show the world the power of love. It should be a stronger word than "purpose." It was a "passion." This was acting on the "heart" rather than considering what was the safest and more practical way of acting according to the head. Every day of his life he chose service over self-interest.

If we are to follow the way of Jesus we have to act with the same passion. There are many roadblocks along that road. There are times that you just have to act, trusting that what you have learned of Jesus' way will be in every breath and fiber of your actions - moving beyond thought to action in faith, courage and determination. That is, keeping our feet firmly on the ground and looking at the world through the heart. That is the way that we will know God.

God prays for us as we reflect: “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.” (Psalm 28:7).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that they keep their feet firmly on the ground and not stumble on the roadblocks of life. Let the Spirit come into their hearts so that they will act with passion and trust that God is their strength and light.

We Are On The Move

I noticed my no name wristwatch was beginning to run slow that indicates time for a new battery. It was running 10 minutes slow and heaven forbid that I start late for Mass or fail to get all my work done by the end of day. We are bound by time due to deadlines, or some internal clock that says, “get your work done.” Sadly, many people are running out of time after being laid off and their severance is scheduled to run out. A few people ran out of energy before they began their job search because of chronic depression and fear. It’s moments like these that we need to recharge our battery and look to God for wisdom. The forecast for this morning is that a major snowstorm is heading up the east coast. Despite this dire prediction, we are gaining six minutes of light each day and realize that spring is truly on the way.

During Lent, Jesus is on the move, bringing with him God’s kingdom that is electrifying. Instantly crowd’s start coming to him, looking for and finding the healing that they assume will signal the arrival of the Messiah. But Jesus’ announcement of the kingdom and the good news is about far more than just individual healing from disease, and that is something that many of those who crowd around him never seem to grasp. Physical healing – however welcome - simply allows them to go back to the life they had before. What Jesus is really announcing is a whole new life, a whole new way of thinking and seeing, something he calls the kingdom of God.

At the heart of that kingdom isn’t a set of policies, some rules and regulations. At the heart of that kingdom, at the center of his message is a relationship, a relationship with God. That’s what really matters, he says. Understand that relationship right, catch a hold of it and treasure it and all the rest will follow.

Notice how the Sonshine list of prayers for our special friends has grown from a few to a few hundred. You are moved to pray for your loved ones because you know their suffering and pain. Your desire is a moment of grace to remember the beautiful story of your relationship that you have with them. So now is a good time to include them in your daily prayers.

They are your starlight friends whom you know or have known when you walked with them during their struggle and hardship. You deal with the fact that their struggles were not going to be cured like you hoped and prayed for. Despite the emotional or physical pain in the relationship, you discovered that your friend’s disabilities didn’t alter the love you have for them at all. Whatever they are going through, whatever they were capable of, or not capable of, this was your friend, and you loved them. Your prayers are like a healing salve.

It is this kind of relationship, this kind of love, a love that transcends the frailties of humanity – physical, mental, or moral – that Jesus comes to declare. Christian faith is about this relationship with God. It is about learning to trust its strength and indestructibility as we come to God to ask for healing and forgiveness. It’s about learning to live in its light as we let it shape our lives and our attitudes to those around us, who are as much beloved of God as we are.

God prays for us as we reflect: “And a highway will be there; it will be called the Way of Holiness.” (Isaiah 35:8).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends and all their living and deceased special friends that as we share in Jesus’ forty days of reflection and struggle, we hear those words that Jesus heard, “You are my beloved daughter, my beloved son; with you I am well-pleased.” Let’s ask ourselves what it might mean really, deeply to believe those words and to live by them.

Soften My Heart

Which friend do you call when you are going through a crisis moment? Someone you trust who knows your pain by experience and shares their wisdom and peace.

Once a daughter struggled with a terrible conflict with her mother. Her mother had been dead for several years. This daughter prayed for her heart to soften. She prayed that she be able to forgive her mom and love her for what she did give her: life, values, a lot of piano lessons, and the best she could do. Unfortunately, the best she could do was terrible…and her heart remained hardened toward her mom for many years.

For the first two years after her death, her mother’s ashes sat in her closet. This young woman moved them one day at last to a corner of the living room--a small thing? No, A huge thing. Jesus understands that things like forgiving your mother take a long time. If not your parent, then perhaps your former spouse, your boss, your child, or even God after your best friends have died in a plane crash.

I don’t think Jesus was rolling his eyes impatiently at this daughter while she had her mother’s ashes in the closet. I don’t think much surprises Jesus. This is how we make important changes—barely, poorly, and slowly. And still, he raises his hands in triumph. We need such lived wisdom from those wounded by life’s experience. And from those who have known pain.

There was once an ancient temple bell famous for its beautiful tone. It had been commissioned by the king as a way of showing his people’s devotion to Buddha; for the king’s advisors believed that making a temple bell would keep the nation safe from foreign invasion. So the king approached the greatest bell maker in the realm. This craftsman worked hard and produced many bells, but none that was extraordinary, none that had a special tone.

Finally, he went to the king and told him that the only way to get the kind of bell he wanted was to sacrifice a young child. So the soldiers fetch a young girl. When the child was taken away, her mother cried out piteously, Emille.

At last the bell maker succeeded, the bell, called the Emille Bell, made a sound more beautiful than any other. When it rang. Most people praised the art that had produced such a beautiful sound. But whenever the mother whose child had been sacrificed heard it, her heart broke anew. She could only hear the beautiful tone with pain.

You see, only those who understand the sacrifice can feel the pain. Others just enjoy the sound.

God prays for us as we reflect: “May he remember all your sacrifices…” (Psalm 20:3).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that in times of trouble they find friends who have lived the pain and hold the wisdom to help them find patience and perseverance in their suffering.
May we pray for guidance from the spirit who “softens our hearts” and finds peace during this Lenten Season.

By Our Side

As the president of a local company informed his co-workers that four of their colleagues had died in an airline crash in Buffalo, I could feel my stomach churn inside. My legs were quivering for once again I was standing by the side of a group of people stunned with profound grief. As there leader expressed, no words seemed adequate to convey their sorrow. Memories returned to holding the hands of patients at Strong or offering prayers in the JFK terminal after 9/11. I was being escorted by a spirit-filled co-worker from one cubicle to another to listen and offer healing and hope.

Many beautiful stories were being filtered by co-workers that revealed something special about their lost comrades. Stories about their brilliance in the field, their mentoring skills, their families and grandchildren left behind. As I toured the offices, I observed the deceased office desks piled high with work yet sprinkled with images of babies, pets, art work from the kids and images of special moments that celebrated a wedding day or special vacation.

Let me remind you that Jesus walks with us in our our brokenness, in those situations in life when we simply fall down on our knees and weep. We are not alone, for we have one willing to kneel by our side, and be by our side.

Remember the gospel story about a leper who came to Jesus, and said "If you will, you can make me clean " Notice the words of this man, "If you will." He was taking a risk and putting his whole life into the hands of Jesus. He had heard that he was a man of compassion and a man of power. In times of intense sorrow we need to take on this man’s heart when he says to himself. “I wonder if he can make me well? No, I don't wonder, I believe, I know deep within me that he can. I will go and ask that whatever he wills for my life, then so be it. I will approach Jesus and ask that his will be done in my life."

And we know the rest of the story, Jesus moved with piety stretched out his hand and touched him and said: " I will; be clean." Jesus acted because he knew how lonely, how miserable, how forsaken this person was. Jesus acted because no one else would. Jesus acted because the rest of society ignored this individual, Jesus acted because sadly this man's own religion couldn't be bothered.

In moments of intense sorrow that defy any explanation that leave us speechless, the leper choose to simply let go and let God take on his pain and sorrow. I wonder how many of us could say to Jesus, take my life and whatever you will for it, so be it? Isn't that what Christianity is all about? Surrendering ourselves to God, then letting his will of love be done in our lives.

I chose this image of the bleeding hearts reaching into the darkness to reflect the love of a compassionate God. I was privileged to witness that love as co-workers hugged and shared their stories about their friends. I believe that each of us are little Christ's, we are his hands of compassion, his hands of healing; his hands of love in a world crying for someone to care. Any time we see people hurting, we see people living with burdens, we see people afflicted with disease, we are compelled as Jesus was to reach out a hand to try with all of our strength to bring some measure of peace and comfort into that person's live.

God prays for us as we reflect: “Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth. (Psalm 31:5).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are on their knees due to sadness or rejection from those who fail to understand. Help us to walk with these “little ones” with your hands of acceptance and understanding. May our spirit of healing and compassion reach out to all in need, especially our neighbors in Buffalo at this time.

Healing Spaces

Many of the Mercy sisters attend the Motherhouse Eucharist accompanied by their walker or wheelchair. One exception was Sister Faith who radiated a sense of youth with her gracious smile and vibrant walk without the use of any aid. However, all that changed in an instant when she tripped on a carpet and fell head first into a wall. Eleven stitches later and a twisted knee, Sister Faith was sitting in her room; lamenting that she did not want to be a bother to her sisters and asked for prayers that she would not need any surgery on her right knee.

She was humbled by all the phone calls and get-well cards from her fans throughout the country who heard about her “trip.” But her real journey was not her experience in the emergency room, but rather, a journey into her soul which she had never experience in her life.

Like most patients she prayed for a cure, relief from the pain and the desire to get back to where she was before the freak accident. Instead, she sat in her chair with her elevated leg in a soft cast and her companions were the medicine bottles, blankets, bed, water glass and the holy cards with prayers in times of illness.

Cures aim at returning our bodies to what they were in the past, healing uses what is present to move us more deeply to "soul awareness." Although Sister Faith prayers for a cure and complete recovery, she admits that she has undergone a profound healing of mind and heart. This healing that refers to the soul can happen without cure. In fact, it is often the uncured sickness that the healing begins.

When we come face to face with our disease--cancer, broken heart, layoff panic, chronic addiction, debilitating grief, our focus is redirected to the inner healing process that is triggered by our illness. At that moment, we become profoundly aware to the meaning of life, what we need to let go of and what we need to keep.

Sitting meditatively in her chair beside her bed, Sister Faith senses the witness of her bed, the family photos on her dresser, the blankets, even the snow covered trees outside his window, finally observing the truth, that some secrets are hidden from health.

Sister Faith is right. Some patients report a greater sense of being alive and in communion with others when they were sick. When they were cured, they returned to normal life, a life often characterized by routine. Cure of the body actually threatens healing of the soul. After a period of distress we realize that something amazing happens. We simply stop doing everything that wasn’t essential, that didn’t matter. Our illness of whatever nature becomes our greatest source of peace.

Jesus cured some, not all. He was more interested in healing; healing the soul, Sometimes, gospel wisdom tells us that an uncured body brings about a healed soul.

God prays for us as we reflect: “O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.” (Psalm 30:2).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who need the assistance of their walkers, canes and wheelchairs. As they look around their room and pray for a cure, help them to focus on healing the soul that comes with weakness that helps us to feel the need for God. Sometimes we think that we get nothing we asked for but despite ourselves, our unspoken prayers are answered for we are truly blessed by a God who cares.

Melting Snow

At an engagement party, the guests were comparing which city in Upstate New York had the most snow for the winter. Buffalo has a slight lead with 85.9 compared to Rochester’s 85.3 inches. However, Syracuse has been hammered with 123 inches. Despite our whining, and after the Superbowl frenzy, I thought I share this wonderful story about melting snow.

Ice clung to the branches of the trees as Kay and Michael sat together in the park in the center of town. They would have been considered oddities, sitting on a frozen park bench in the dead of winter, had the town not simply become used to the seeing them each evening around six, quietly holding hands in the town square.

No one questioned their behavior, or snickered, or sneered sarcastically at the sight of the oddity. Eccentricities were simply accepted in the small town in Northern Michigan. People lived in each others' pockets, as they say.

Kay and Michael, bundled up with winter coats, sitting in front of an icy statue of the town's founder, were dreaming. Michael knowingly gave Kay's hand a squeeze. He loved her. She squeezed back. The snow slowly fell before them.

Kay was remembering. So was Michael. Now in their early-sixties, they recalled their life together. With a knowing squeeze of the other's hand, both of them traveled back to another time, when love was on the ocean breeze. It was in the ocean air that they breathed every morning while they were on their honeymoon.

Michael took a deep breath through his nose, smelling the ocean air. He closed his eyes and smiled, thinking back to forty years prior. The sound of the water and the scent of the beach filled their tiny bungalow in Hawaii. He could feel her breathe.

He closed his arm around her down jacket. Michael looked at Kay. And she knew.

Hawaii was with them. The cliffs and palm trees. The beaches. The breath-taking beauty. Deep jungle, green vegetation and clear waterfalls. The warm morning rain that sometimes came in the afternoon. Walking in the deep night on the beach.

His glove touched her face.

She smiled.

With a gentle squeeze and another thought of hot sands and warm ocean water, they felt the wet snow melting on their faces.

God prays for us as we reflect: “My mouth will speak words of wisdom; the utterance from my heart will give understanding. (Psalm 49:3)

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who suffer depression from the cold and lack of sunlight. Let them imagine being lifted out of the cold and taken away from the ice to a time when they could feel a gentle breeze and breath in the beauty of green vegetation and clear waterfalls. It has indeed been a harsh winter. We had been humbled by mother nature, unable to rush about in our usual way, confined to our homes, literally speechless from the power of the weather. In the silence we learn the valuable lessons of humility, patience and the overwhelming presence of God. It is God’s way of telling us to be quiet and listen. God loves you and wants you to listen because God wants the best for your lives.

We Grow By Falling Apart

The signs of the time seem to be panic and fear. Sadly, in the workplace, friends, family and co-workers after many loyal years of service are being ushered out the doors by their employers. As a survivor, you might be thinking: “when will it be my turn.”

Ancient myths teach that we grow by falling apart. They suggest a person needs to “descend into the underworld”, to live in darkness for a while, to sit in ashes so as to move to a deeper place inside of life; the mystics talk about “dark nights of the soul” as being necessary to bring about maturity.

All of these images point to the same deep truth, sometimes in order to grow we must first fall apart, go into the dark, lose our grip on what’s normal, enter into a frightening chaos, lose our everyday securities, and be carried in pain to a place where, for all kinds of reasons, we weren’t ready to go to on our own.

Why? Isn’t there a more pleasant route to maturity?

Let me share this image: The best wines have to be aged in cracked, old barrels. And so too the human soul, it mellows, takes on character, and comes to compassion only when there are real cracks, painful ones, in the body and life of the one who carries it. Our successes, bring us glory, while our pain brings us character and compassion. Pain, and sometimes only pain, serves to mellow the soul. Jesus was brought to compassion through “sweating blood in Gethsemane” and then dying a humiliating death on the cross.

But almost every instinct inside of us resists this wisdom. We don’t like living in tension, try at all costs to avoid pain, fear chaos, are ashamed of our humiliations, and panic when our old securities fall away and we are left in the dark, unsure of things. So our natural instinct is to get out of the darkness and tension as quickly as possible, before the pain has had its chance to mellow our souls, purify our hearts, bring us to a deeper level of maturity and compassion, and do its full purifying work within us.

The wisdom of the mystics tell us: When you lose your securities, when you find yourself in an emotional and a spiritual free-fall, when you are in the belly of the whale, let go, detach yourself, let the pain carry you to where it needs to take you, don’t resist, rather weep, wail, cry, and wait. Just wait. You are like a baby being weaned from its mother’s breast and forced to learn a new way of nourishing yourself. Anything you do to stop what’s happening will only delay the inevitable, the pain that must be gone through in order come to a new maturity.

Advice to anyone undergoing this kind of crisis of soul: Care rather than cure. Organize your life to support the process. You are incubating your soul, not living a heroic adventure. Arrange your life accordingly. Tone it down. Get what comforts you can, but don’t move against the process. Concentrate, reflect, pray, think, and talk about your situation seriously with trusted friends.

God prays for us as we reflect: “My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.” (Psalm 119:50).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are suffering from the lost of their jobs, their homes, their health. May they experience the comfort and compassion that comes from trusted friends who help us walk through our tears. Don’t be afraid to suffer, give the heaviness back to the weight of the earth; mountains are heavy, seas are heavy. Know that the Lord hears your cry for help and promises to bring you strength and wisdom.

Perhaps There Remains A Spark

In London, there is a house for, as they say, "fallen people". It is like a half-way house here in the states. Nevertheless, near the front door of this house is a figure of a child blowing on a dying ember. This motto appears: "Perhaps there remains a spark."

Yesterday, it was a day for hope for a nation that is struggling in many ways. At the inauguration ceremony, our new president gave a message that profoundly represents this idea of hope. Hope does not soon abandon that which does not promise well; it makes the most of "littles" and the efforts of whom I like to refer to as the “little ones,” those folks who surprise us with their creativity and generosity like the students at Newman. Hope fans the spark into flame; it reflects a rainbow against the darkest cloud; it pictures tomorrow brighter than today.

By its magic word fountains spring up in the parched desert, honey comes out of the barren rock... and the streams of difficulties parts at the feet of the advancing pilgrim.

Hope has something to offset every discouragement. It gathers the sunbeams from near and far and causes them to shine upon the pathway. It rings a bell of gladness in the dull ears of those who are struggling in the valley, weighed down by their crosses.

In going through a difficult time, one thing that will get us through is "hope"......and to believe that at "any time" things can change. This morning our president and his staff started their day with prayer at the national cathedral to ask God to bless them in their work. I would ask that you pray for wisdom for our leaders as they begin a new day. "…if any of you needs wisdom, you should ask God for it. He is generous and enjoys giving to all people, so he will give you wisdom" (James 1:5).

God prays for us as we reflect: "It is good that one should have hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord...there may yet be hope." (Lamentations 3:26,29).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends that the level of hope rise like a buoy in your heart. May there be a spark in you this day and may the Holy Spirit be the fan. Give wisdom and hope to our president and his staff.

Follow Your Bliss

Author Joseph Campbell often talked about "following your bliss." I heard of a bus driver in Chicago who does just that.

He sings while he drives. That’s right... sings! And I don’t mean he sings softly to himself, either. He sings so that the whole bus can hear! All day long he drives and sings.

He was once interviewed on Chicago television. He said that he is not actually a bus driver. "I’m a professional singer," he asserted. "I only drive the bus to get a captive audience every single day."

His "bliss" is not driving a bus, though that may be a source of enjoyment for some people. His bliss is singing. And the supervisors at the Chicago Transit Authority are perfectly happy about the whole arrangement. You see, people line up to ride his bus. They even let other busses pass by so they can ride with the "singing bus driver." They love it!

Here is a man who believes he knows why he was put here on earth. For him, it is to make people happy. And the more he sings, the more people he makes happy! He has found a way to align his purpose in living with his occupation. By following his bliss, he is actually living the kind of life he believes he was meant to live.

Not everybody can identify a purpose in life. But when you do, and when you pursue it, you will be living the kind of life you feel you were meant to live. And what’s more, you will be happy.

When are you happy these days? Knee deep in a snow bank, peering through the lens to capture the light and shadow makes me happy. Capturing a poinsettia bloom nestled among hundreds of other plants or witnessing the pre-dawn sun as its subtle light falls on snow covered evergreens. Then it might be arranging a Spring bouquet of flowers, or brushing Rhythm, a blind horse in one eye who helps me get my balance after another busy week.

God prays for us as we reflect: “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy…” (Psalm 30:11).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that they may be filled with many moments of joy hugging grandkids, enjoying the beauty of a winter snowfall, or sharing a table with family and friends. May our souls leap for joy as we discover your presence in all things great and small.

Wisdom Flows Like a River

It is always sad to see my neighbors put out their Christmas trees by the curb the day after Christmas. Christians realize that the season needs to dwell in our hearts all year long. So, before I put away my Christmas decorations, I thought I take a second look at some of those Christmas cards received from family and friends. Note, that a few arrive via the internet with music and dancing reindeer. Tradition has it that we simply write our names, but I will take the liberty of adding a reflection on what I know is going on with these wonderful folks.

Dear Father Matt, this is your deacon Stan and his beloved Marlene. We have continued to struggle together this past year with her miserable cancer. Stan’s writes that his beloved is a star of courage and strength through all the tests and treatments. Now the disease is in remission and this has been a year of rebuilding her strength. The gift this couple brings to the manger is gratitude and their prayer to the Christ Child is for more healing and perseverance.

Dear Father Matt, Phil tells me that his beloved Kathryn only 38 years-old died a month ago. In his darkness and grief, he shared stories of his angel who served as a nurse and worked many long hours to take care of her patients. He worried about the long hours she put in and felt so guilty that he wasn’t able to save her when she died in her sleep. This sorrowful man comes to the manger with his despair, guilt and anger and asks the Christ Child for forgiveness and assurance that his beloved is in heavenly peace.

Dear Father Matt, Mario and Santo have been waiting patiently over a year to have a baby. Tests revealed infertility and treatment began in the hope that they would have a child. Many prayers and lots of money and the news arrived that Maria is now expecting. Despite the worry and debt, this couple comes before the manager and prays to the Christ Child in thanksgiving and asks for a healthy baby.

Dear Father Matt, Joe and Pam are exhausted taking care of their darling daughters who continue to struggle with their epilepsy. Bella troubles grow more complicated with a recent MRI that suspects some serious brain abnormalities. More tests will be required and Joe is concerned since he has plans to teach overseas later this month on his Fulbright Scholarship. Pam and the kids are to join him in Prague, but this couple worries about their kids. They come anxious to the crib of the Christ Child and ask for wisdom on what best to do and God know that these two little ones have the best parents in the universe.

As I kneel before the manger, the gift that I ask for each of my friends is wisdom. Wisdom helps you to learn to decipher the unknown, and the unknown is our closet companion. So wisdom is the art of being courageous and generous with the unknown, of being able to decipher and recognize its treasures.

The Christ Child prays for us as we reflect: “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends in this New Year that they will find treasure in their pilgrimage to the manager. May their gift of faith be rewarded with the Christ’s Child’s desire to bring our hearts compassion, mercy and healing. Stay close to God and lets keep in touch.

Breath of Spring

What a day, this mom thought to myself. With two of her young children in the hospital, she was spread thin. She had passed the infant CPR exam required before she could take her eight-week-old Joel home from the hospital. Would she remember how to perform CPR in a moment of crisis?

Exhausted, she reached for her grocery list that resembled more of a scientific equation than the food for the week. For the past several days, she had been learning the facts about juvenile diabetes and trying to accept Jenna, her six-year-old daughter's, diagnosis. In addition to the CPR exam she spent the day reviewing how to test Jenna's blood and give her insulin shots. Now she was buying the needed food to balance the insulin that would sustain Jenna's life.

This mom’s panic turned into a prayer. “God, I am so scared! What if I make a mistake and give Jenna too much insulin, or what if I measure her food wrong, or what if she does the unmentionable--and sneaks a treat? What if Joel's monitor goes off? What if he turns blue and I panic? What if?”

With a shiver, she tried to redirect her mind away from the what ifs. She gave myself an emergency pep talk and recited what she knew to be true, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I can do all things...."

She held a can of apple juice and began to read the label. Jenna will need fifteen carbohydrates of juice when her sugar drops. But this can has thirty-two. Immediately, she felt tears leave her eyes and make their way down the sides of her face. Not knowing what to do, she grabbed a couple six-packs of apple juice and placed them in her cart. Frustrated by feelings of total inadequacy, she crumpled up her grocery list, covered her face in her hands and cried.

"Honey, are you all right?" She heard a gentle voice ask. She had been so engrossed in her own thoughts that she hadn't noticed the woman who was shopping along side of her. Suddenly she felt her hand as she reached toward her and rested it upon her shoulder. "Are you all right? Honey, are you a little short of cash? Why don't you just let me…?"

She slowly dropped her hands from her face and looked into the eyes of the silvery haired woman who waited for her answer. "Oh, no, thank you ma'am." She said while wiping her tears, trying to gather my composure. "I have enough money." "It's just that I'm kind of overwhelmed. I'm here shopping for groceries so that I can bring my children home from the hospital tomorrow."

"Home from the hospital! What a celebration that shall be. Why, you should have a party!"

Within minutes this stranger had befriended her. She took her crumpled up grocery list, smoothed it out, and became her personal shopper. She stayed by her side until each item on her list was checked off. She even walked her to her car helping her as she placed the groceries in her trunk. Then with a hug and a smile, she sent this mom on her way.

It was shortly after midnight, while lugging the groceries into her house, that this mom realized the lesson this woman had taught me. "My kids are coming home from the hospital! Joel is off life support and functioning on a monitor. Jenna and I can learn how to manage her diabetes and give her shots properly. And just as God met my needs in a grocery store, He will meet each and every need we have. "I have a reason to celebrate!" She shouted for joy in her empty house. "Why you should have a party," the woman had exclaimed. And a party there would be!

God prays for us as we reflect: “I love you, O Lord, my strength.” (Psalm 18:1).

Lord. I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are feeling exhausted after the holidays. Let the true celebration begin when we realize that we are NEVER alone but the presence of God watches over our concerns and gives us reason to celebrate.

Mystery of Crumbfest

This is the story of a very great mystery; a mystery which all the mice talked about, but which was never solved until the day Eckhart set off on his great adventure. It was the day he discovered the true meaning of Crumbfest.

For Eckhart and the other mice, every year was divided into two parts: the Outside part, and the Inside part. During the long warm days they lived in a snug burrow beneath a spruce tree in the corner of a field, next to the woods. But when the days became shorter, and the great snows came, they left Outside and moved Inside, between the walls of the big white farmhouse where the people lived. The mice, of course, didn't refer to them as people. They called them "the straight ones" because of the way they walked.

Eckhart didn't like going Inside. None of the mice did. The narrow space between the walls, where they spent the winter, was a cold, dismal place. There was no grass there, or trees, or flowers; and no sunshine.

The Inside was also a hungry place. There was plenty of food in the house, but it was always shut up in the little pantry off the kitchen - in jars, or in tins with tight covers. The only spot the mice could find food was on the kitchen floor, underneath the big wooden table where the people ate. There would usually be a few crumbs there, tiny bits of bread that had tumbled down from above.

But there was one time of the year when all that changed.

Every year, in late December, just a few weeks after the mice had moved Inside, a most astonishing thing happened. Suddenly, there were crumbs everywhere. For several days the mice feasted, not just on bread but also on cake, and cookies, and piecrust.

The mice had a name for this time of abundance. They called it Crumbfest, and over the years it had became the most important celebration in mouse society. "Merry Crumbfest", they would call out to one another as they scurried in and out of their hole in the wall, bringing back load after load of tasty morsels.

The truth is, Eckhart had some doubts about Crumbfest. He started thinking about the reason for this most mysterious event. He decided that he must solve the riddle and go exploring.

He passed beneath the great wooden table. He looked across the room and saw a door leading into a hallway. Beyond that was the unknown, and, perhaps, the secret of Crumbfest. He knew that was where he must go. And that's when he saw it!

Eckhart could scarcely believe his eyes. He looked again, it was a tree. A fir tree. A beautiful tree from the Outside was right there in front of him - on the Inside.

Eckhart ran over quickly and looked up into the branches. There, on the tree, were other things from the Outside. There was a long string of red berries - the kind that grow on the rose bushes along the fence - and some birds. They didn't look exactly like the birds he had seen Outside, but they were definitely birds, sitting very still in the branches.

There was a small table beside the tree and Eckhart ran quickly up one of the legs to get a better view. When he came up over the top there was another great surprise waiting for him. There, gathered together in a circle, were tiny animals from the Outside.

There were two cows, a horse with long ears and several sheep. There were also some tiny people there, and right in the middle a little box, with a baby sleeping in some straw. Eckhart walked over slowly and stood beside one of the sheep, which was exactly the same size as he was. He remained there quietly for a few moments, standing just as still as the other animals.

And that's when it happened!

Eckhart felt something he had never felt before. It started somewhere inside of him, and spread right out to the very tips of all his whiskers, and to the end of his extra-long tail. It wasn’t exactly astonishment, and it wasn't exactly joy. It was wonder - that's what it was. Eckhart felt wonder-full.

It only lasted a short time, but Eckhart knew that in that moment he had discovered the meaning of Crumbfest. It came to him in a flash, and he knew his journey was over.

When he arrived back between the walls, Eckhart told them the story of his journey. He told them about the big room, the tree, the berries and the birds. And when he got to the part about the animals he lowered his head, straightened his tail, and said softly, "The mystery of Crumbfest is the mystery of the Outside and the Inside. When the Outside comes Inside it is a special time, for when the Outside and the Inside are together, Crumbfest happens."

For a moment no one spoke. Most of the mice looked puzzled. But there were a few whose eyes opened very wide, as through they had just heard a secret, which they already knew.

God prays for us as we reflect: “Consider the mice: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than all creatures great and small.” Luke 12:24.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that like Eckhart they experience for themselves the mystery of Crumbfest and the wonder of a place where the Inside and the Outside are together. A Blessed Christmas Season to all my wonder-full Sonshine Friends, Fr. Matt

Cutting Down the Christmas Tree

My best holiday stress tip includes this motto targeted for Sonshine moms. The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in service to others. But that doesn’t mean holding a soup ladle. Although, my sincere congratulations to the woman and men cooks who served over 300 Brockport students during exam week. As one student wrote on their comment card: “MMM…MMM…GOOD.”

For the rest of the holidays, I like to take your name and the word “kitchen” and file a restraining order; since I believe there are a variety of other ways you can serve others. Let me complete the list of commandments for forgiveness.

The Eight Commandment: Forgiveness recognizes the humanness of the person who has wronged us and also recognizes our contributions to what went wrong. Simply put, it takes two and a little humility to fest up that sometimes we have a whiny attitude that needs an adjustment.

The Ninth Commandment: Forgiveness surrenders the right to get even. It’s not “I’m going to get you back…Payback time! Revenge!” It means letting go of that and embracing the spirit of wisdom that forgiveness surrenders the right to get even.

And finally, the Tenth Commandment: Forgiveness means we wish the person who hurt us, or the group (like our family and the in-laws), we wish them well. In fact, we wish them the best. That’s tough, but we let God be the final judge. We wish them to God’s mercy.

So here are the Ten Commandments of Forgiveness.
1. Forgiveness is not easy.
2. Forgiveness is not forgetting.
3. Forgiveness does not overlook evil.
4. Forgiveness is not indifference.
5. Forgiveness is not the same thing as approval.
6. Forgiveness recognizes that people are bigger than their faults.
7. Forgiveness allows a person to start all over again.
8. Forgiveness recognizes the humanness of the wrongdoer.
9. Forgiveness surrenders the right to get even.
10. Forgiveness wishes the offender well.

Taking our spouse to her favorite Christmas tree farm to cut down the family tree and dragging the ten-foot sucker over half a mile is one kind of service. For me, helping my buddy unload their Douglas fir and putting it up in a tiny living room, or saying a rosary at 7:30 in my office for my patients and friends, or visiting a priest-friend who needs encouragement and support, or helping a talented actress get the part in a play, or taking pictures of awesome landscapes to inspire your day. I'd like to think this is service, too, because if those people are empowered by my actions, then I've contributed to a better world just as much as if I had dished out mashed potatoes to a homeless person at a shelter. In other words, start with the things you like to do.

God prays for us as we reflect: "for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matt 6:21).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who bring the Christmas spirit into the homes and hearts of their friends and neighbors. Help us to be people of mercy, with gentle spirits to heal those who complain, shoulders to hold those in pain and the cup of our hands to catch the tears that bring your healing.

You Have Found Favor

Today, in our tradition, the angel Gabriel comes to Mary with an invitation. The messenger angel tells Mary what a wonderful young woman she has been in the eyes of God that He has special plans for her. However, Mary in her humanness reveals her fear, doubt, confusion and finally acceptance of this invitation to serve the blessed role as the mother of God.

You might ask yourself what is your vocation at this stage in life. To lead a spiritual life means to develop a sense of vocation. Such people tend to see their work not just as a job, but as a calling. Spiritual folks feel that they are a part of a higher purpose, that their life however unfamous, counts, that they were put here for a reason. God has created me to do him some definite service. He has committed some work to me. Which he has not committed to another? He has not created me to bring on chaos and despair, I shall do his work; I shall be an angel of peace. One way to be an angel of peace is to practice the following commandments of forgiveness.

The Fourth Commandment: Forgiveness is not indifference. What that means is where things are harmful and wrong, we don’t just go back to “business as usual,” and let the hurt and damage go on. Forgiveness is not indifference, and we should do what we can to make sure the evil won’t happen again.

The Fifth Commandment: Forgiveness is not the same thing as approval. We can be forgiving and, at the same time, express our disagreement, express our disapproval of harmful behavior. The next commandments are more positive and deeper.

The Sixth Commandment: Forgiveness is based on recognizing and admitting that people are always bigger than their faults. People are always larger than, and they are more than, their mistakes or their wrongdoings. In other words, we don’t define somebody and who they are by something they said to us or the way they hurt us. They are bigger than that. Forgiveness is based on recognizing and admitting that people are always bigger and more than their faults and their mistakes.

The Seventh Commandment: Forgiveness is willing to allow a person who has offended us to start over again. You know, the more common thing is saying, “Never again! No way! I will never let that happen again. I will never have anything to do with him again. No way!” Forgiveness means letting go of that. Forgiveness means allowing another person to start all over again.

God prays for us as we reflect: “Then the angel said, Do not fear (insert your name here), for you have found favor with God.” (Luke 1:30).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends who are suspicious and sometimes doubt God’s is calling out to them. Despite our doubts, our sins, our reluctance to believe, all are welcomed to come and adore him. In his divine eyes: “We are ALL perfect.” Children created in the image and likeness of God.

Whom Are You Kidding?

A patient struggling in his marriage and chemical disease said that he wanted to go to church. His partner did not want him to come with her because it would make her feel uncomfortable. He said that he grew up Catholic, but then he said something that shocked me. “I won’t go back to my church because they make everyone feel evil.”

Do you ever feel that your sins are too horrible or too terrible for God to forgive? That the volume of your sins is just too great to be forgiven. Do you have the feeling that there is little chance that God will ever let you into his heaven because of the very wicked life that you have led or because you have committed the same sins over and over? No offense to this beautiful bird, but the expression in his eyes reeks with an attitude that says: “Whom are you kidding?”

I believe that the God’s love doesn't care what you have done in the past, or how hideous, heinous, or horrendous your sins may have been. And he could care less about what sins you are committing right now. What he cares about is what you are going to do from now on. Let me share with you the Ten Commandments of Forgiveness. I will share the first three and follow up later in the month.

The First Commandment: Forgiveness is not easy. There is no cheap grace. There is no quick fix. A mother says to her child: “Tell him you’re sorry.” “I’m sorry.” The kid mumbles reluctantly. Doesn’t mean a thing. If it’s a quick and it’s easy it’s not real, especially for deep betrayals and hurts. So we need to ask God for help. We can’t forgive on our own. We need to ask God to start the process of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not easy and simple. It takes time.

The Second Commandment: Forgiveness is not Forgetting. We say, “Forgive and Forget.” I doubt think so. Forgiveness is about a change of heart, not a bad memory or having a senior moment. The wounds are too fresh or too deep. While forgiveness may not include harboring festering hurts, neither is it about forgetting. It may be helpful to remember the hurt from which you moved on, the occasion that began your journey to forgiveness.

The Third Commandment: Forgiveness does not overlook evil. I don't believe Catholics are responsible for all the evils in the world. We have done our share in history. It doesn’t mean that we accept injustice or naively believe that all is well when it isn’t. It doesn’t mean denial. It doesn’t mean, “Let’s pretend it never existed.” Forgiveness does not overlook evil.

God prays for us as we reflect: "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who bear the burden of an unforgiving mind that is filled with despair. Help them to let go of the hurts and pain and walk with You as they journey toward peace.

Don't Get Worked Up

It’s hard to live in the now since we constantly worry about the future. How low will the stock market go? Will I have enough money to pay my bills? What will I do if I lose my job? Will I be able to retire? What do I need to do to ensure I will have everything I need?

An expert wood carver sat on his front porch, sipping lemonade and enjoying the sunshine on a spring afternoon. Around him on the porch sat his various creations. A friend of the wood carver stopped by for a visit and he was surprised to see the artisan relaxing. “It’s only 1:30PM, isn’t it a bit early for a break?” he asked. The artisan swallowed a mouthful of lemonade and yawned. “This isn’t a break,” he said, “I’m done for the day.”

His friend, a young executive, was confused. “What do you mean it’s too early to stop working? You could produce more. You could carve more figures. You could even hire an assistant to help you with your business. You could buy new tools. You could buy a shop and you wouldn’t have to carve at your house.” “Why would I want to do all that?” the carver asked. “So you could make more money,” his friend replied. “And what would I do with all that extra money?” the wood carver asked. “Why, enjoy life, of course.” The wood carver took another sip of lemonade, leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. He then mumbled, “What do you think I’m doing?”

Jesus made it clear that we would often find ourselves in tension over trying to serve God and trying be successful. The illusion of our culture feeds our worries and creates anxiety. In recent years we've seen just how manipulative and powerful a politics of fear can be. Our capitalist economy legitimizes greed, creates artificial wants and needs, perfects advertising techniques that shape our attitudes, and makes sure that money, no matter how much or little you have, is our number one worry. The most insidious effects of capitalism might be on those who succeed at it rather than on the poor who fail. No one is immune from these and other powerful cultural forces. I know I'm not.

“You cannot add to your life span by worrying,” Jesus said. I believe that Jesus meant that we will be less anxious and most likely live longer when we are optimistic about life and not pessimistic.

When we are optimistic we are more hopeful. That doesn’t mean we won’t experience a negative balance on our 401K. When we do, God wants us to embrace this event and realize that God is with us. Worrying gets us nowhere. The past is over and the future has not yet arrived. All we can do is live in the now. Let me suggest that you offer this paraphrased prayer of St. Francis to calm your soul whenever your (whizzy brain) chronic worry gets the best of you.

"I want to be a channel for peace. May I bring love where there is hatred and healing where there is hurt; joy where there is sadness and hope where there is fear.

I pray that I may always try to understand and comfort other people as well as seeking comfort and understanding from them.

Wherever possible, may I choose to be a light in the darkness, a help in times of need, and a caring, honest friend. And may justice, kindness and peace flow from my heart forever."

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends that we experience the God we call Love in the people around us. Help us to unite ourselves to them as one, in ways that are even beyond our understanding, so that much of the anxiety, much of worry coming from the uncertainties of life are overcome.

Smile from the Heart

Where do you think God is in this picture? Does the divine dwell in the goat or in the "chubby cheeks"? I think it's in the hands that holds our heads up when we are feeling down about the "blah" weather or our life. On another cold, snowy day, take "FIVE" and meditate on this image until you allow the hand of God to melt your troubles and be at peace.

Share the Joy

Three to five inches of snow predicted in Rochester. Our friends in Buffalo had 23 inches yesterday. Take a peak at our young man with his prize winning "GOAT" not a sheep. Opps!

Caught My Eye

This young man caught my eye as he was waiting outside the judging ring. He was holding tight to his black and white face goat that he had brought to the winter fair. While all the other kids were preening their goats before walking into the ring, our young man had the greatest grin on his face showing off his favorite pet for the first time. That’s the ticket, he was oozing with enthusiasm because this was the first time he had ever been entered in a championship show ring.

One noticed that he was not nervous like his other competitors. You could see the tension on their faces, their eyes always looking at the judge to make sure that their sheep was standing in the right position looking their best. Our young lad was having a great time as he entered the ring; he was calm and beaming from chin to chin. His goat could sense that his owner was at ease so that made this fur ball calm and collected. While the other goats were bouncing around and jumping away from the other kids, our little fellow had perfect control of his friend. The two were in sync and you could feel their calm as the judge moved from one contestant to another.

When she approached our young man, he stood with quiet confidence that he held the prize goat. She had asked to look inside the goat’s mouth, not sure what this was all about, but our young man struggled a wee bit to get his friend to cooperate. That moment was priceless, so our image shows the precise moment when he tried to pry his friend’s mouth open for a look inside his dentures. It would appear his furry friend had better things to do.

The judge called out her best three goats and our young man placed third out of twenty-five entries. He walked out of the judging ring with the biggest smile that won my heart and expressed how thrilled he was by the whole experience.

Many things in life send us into a panic and make us numb. The current economic crisis makes our stomachs sick. I have been called over 60 times this year to staff on-site critical incidents that include fatal auto accidents, severe injuries on the job, and the sudden death of a co-worker in the office.

The God we pray to came to relieve the suffering of the world and wants us to experience joy in our lifetime. Perhaps, we need to look a little closer at the deer outside our windows, or our grandchildren crawling on the carpet or maybe it’s a wee small boy taking his goat to the fair for the first time.

We fear divine judgment, but we need to remind ourselves that Christ came to bring only mercy. So in a moment when you are feeling overwhelmed or not quite your perky self, take a glance at our young lad and allow the grace of God’s love to bathe you in His warmth and soothe your fears with a joy that can calm a nervous goat with a gentle heart.

God prays for us as we reflect: “…let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.“ (Psalm 5:11).

Lord I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are plagued with disease and fears that they cannot control. Calm our nerves and help us embrace Your strength and courage. Bring them joy.

Two Friends

Just up the road is a field, with two horses in it. From a distance, each looks like every other horse. But if you stop your car, or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing. Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind. His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him. This alone is amazing.

If nearby and listening, you will hear the sound of a bell. Looking around for the source of the sound, you will see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field. Attached to her halter is a small bell. It lets her blind friend know where she is, so he can follow her.

As you stand and watch these two friends, you'll see how she is always checking on him, and that he will listen for her bell and then slowly walk to where she is, trusting that she will not lead him astray. When she returns to the shelter of the barn each evening, she stops occasionally and looks back, making sure her friend isn't too far behind to hear the bell.

Like the owner of these two horses, God does not throw us away just because we are not perfect or because we have problems or challenges. He watches over us and even brings others into our lives to help us when we are in need.

Sometimes we are the blind horse being guided by the little ringing bell of those who God places in our lives. Other times we are the guide horse, helping others see. Good friends are like this. You don't always see them, but you know they are always there. My good Sonshine friends at Heberle Farm rescue horses and give these abandoned horses another chance to rest, heal and find new homes where they will be cared for. Please listen for my bell and I'll listen for yours.

God prays for us as we reflect: “You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory." Psalm 73:24.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends that we keep in mind all our friends who guide us with their wisdom. Help us to be kinder than necessary, for everyone we meet is struggling with some kind of challenge.

A Heavenly Place

Grotto Falls on Trillium Gap Trail, Great Smoky Mountain National Park, Tennesee. This trail climbs 520 feet and is shaded by large American beeches, silverbells, and maples.

A Heavenly Place

Stream along Caves Cove Road in Great Smoky Mountain National Park

A Heavenly Place

Sunrise on Newfoundland Gap in the Great Smoky Mountain National Park, North Carolina

A Heavenly Place

Sunset on Clingman's Dome in Great Smoky Mountain National Park, North Carolina

The Journey Home

I still make “house calls” and on this Sunday afternoon I had been invited to the home of Norbert who quite literally is going home to God. Greeted by his beloved spouse Mary at the door, I sat next to this gentleman who spoke in a whisper about his life. He greeted me with the words: “Blessed Be the Name of the Lord.” He shared his faith, his love for his family and talked about the many journeys he had taken in his lifetime to the Vatican, Australia, England, Scotland and Ireland.

His stories reminded me of returning down the mountain in the Smokies that faithful morning when I started up the trail in pitch darkness. The trek home proved more difficult than expected. Sliding on loose shale, I came across those roots never seen on the journey in the dark. I wondered how many dangers we have escaped known only to God who watches and protects our steps from falling down a cliff.

Hikers were now coming up the trail and it was interesting to note the differences in how prepared these folks had come for their journey. Some were seasoned hikers using their ski poles to maneuver around the rocks and steep hills. Other hikers wore mini-packs that contained their feed of trail mix, water and supplies. Then came the “tourist” ill prepared for the journey ahead. These poor folks were gazing at the trail like the top was just around the corner, when in reality it would be another three hours up the mountain. Walking in sneakers, no water, no food, no poles just pulling along their children like a visit to the mall. They had no clue what difficulties lie ahead. What a contrast to the Appalachian enthusiastists who were marching along in their high tech alpine boots, lightweight walking poles, hydrator water systems and GPS. To my shock, I witnessed a person wearing sandals and shook my head thinking that this might be a good time to call the park rangers.

On the way down the trail, I spotted those streams that I heard in the darkness of the still morning. I had missed their sublime beauty and only feared falling into the drink. At the end of our life’s journey, we might regret to think of the many opportunities we missed to see the beauty of God’s creation. We have our excuses like paying the bills, working overtime. However, at the end of our life when the miserable disease takes away our independence, we make an amazing discovery. The gift of God’s love comes in our faith and it is our family’s love that provides the most hope for joy and happiness. My homebound friend Norbert came to this revelation as I anointed him with Sacrament of the Sick and gave him Holy Communion.

Sometimes the unknown sends us into a panic and we fear the worse. However, our need is to witness to hope and persevere. Despite the disease that makes us sick to our stomach and helpless, there is our guide pointing out the way in which we will not stumble nor get lost. We might have suffered much violence and pain and depression, but our guide asks us to surrender these fears and hurts and take his hand for the journey ahead that leads to eternal life.

God prays for us as we reflect:” And a highway will be there; it will be called the Way of Holiness.” (Isaiah 35:8).

Lord, I pray for my Sonshine Friend, Norbert, and all the Sonshine souls we will pray for this coming Sunday. Our vocation is to be a gift of Your healing love here on earth, to walk carefully, to protect, conserve and pass on the Your compassionate love for future generations.

Into the Light

It’s 5:45 in the morning and pitch black on the trail. The Smoky Mountain National Park ranger suggested hiking the Alum Cave Bluffs Trail to catch the sunrise over the mountains. Only problem, it’s a 2.5-mile hike that takes an hour and a half. If one wants to see the morning glow, you need to begin this odyssey in the dark. The ranger made me swear to take a flashlight or better yet a headlamp. He warned about the dangers on the trail or coming across a black bear in the wilderness.

I borrowed a flashlight from the rectory that had the logo printed with the words St. Mary’s Hospital. Was this an omen? The experienced ranger knew this trail’s dangers were its infestation of nasty roots, boulders, water hazards and native furry creatures.

My trek began cautiously with flashlight in hand in pitch darkness. The light reminds me how God leads, showing us the way despite all the obstacles along the way. In the dark, I could hear a stream that paralleled the trail. Pointing the light off the path, it showed that the banks of the stream were only a few feet away. So image this scene, I am engulfed in complete darkness, walking over gnarled roots, around jagged boulders and keeping my distance from the banks of the stream, and yes, the batteries in the flashlight are glowing dim. Despite these dangers, the sound of the stream was like something “holy” calming my nerves and telling me not to be afraid.

It’s 6:05 and the pre-dawn light comes into focus. The rocks and roots are barely in focus, but I still need the light to help me safely up the mountain trail. The obstacles remind me of the fears that accumulate during our life’s journey. The suffering comes in many forms, the exhaustion of caretaking loved ones or battling some miserable disease. The fear of losing our retirement pension, our jobs or our homes. The illusion that chemicals can cure all our ills or that "stuff" brings happiness and the peace. These are the boulders that will trip and make us fall despite our best efforts to stay upright.

The flashlight keeps me on course, but the trail grows steeper and harder to hike. Sometimes "life" gives us more than we can bear. It is more than a “moderate hike” for we feel our heart pumping hard from all the strain. It is time to take a rest.

It’s 6:15 and the path grows clearer. The rocks and roots are visible without the flashlight. The climb takes me away from the stream and climbs to a tunnel in the cliff. Stone steps wind up the mountain with a steel cable that serves as a handrail. This is a much tougher climb than the ranger led me to believe. The whining points out that I’m not in shape for this kind of journey. Still, my hope is to take some pictures of the sunrise. If we are mindful of the spirit, we would know what to do when we are feeling overwhelmed by the journey. Patience, patience and more patience. The hike continues up and more up, climbing over boulder after boulder. Finally, the climb leads out of the woods and into a clearing where the morning light pours over the autumn trees. It’s a stunning shot as the morning light makes this scene “holy and majestic.”

God prays for us as we reflect: “Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble.” (Proverbs 3:23).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends whose journeys take them to the limits of their endurance. May your light lead us on a path where we will not stumble nor fall. May the voice of the spirit like the sound of a running stream breathe new life into our weakness and give us strength for the journey ahead that leads to our home in heaven.

Into Your Hands

At a rehearsal dinner, the dad of the groom shared the story that his son found his daughter-in-law in cyberspace. The couple had listed their bios on “Match.com.” The groom noted that his bride-to-be enjoyed tennis, travel and cooking. Something inside of him made him want to “wink” cyberspace lingo for “replied to the email.” While cyberspace became the hook, I believe it was the prompting of the Holy Spirit that brought this couple together to the altar. The groom‘s mom told the story that after she met the bride she whispered to her son ”this is the one.”

I asked this couple to make a “bucket list” of things they wanted to do throughout their married life. At the rehearsal dinner, they added to their list the desire to travel to all 50 states. Their honeymoon in Hawaii would get them off to a grand start on their quest.

At the wedding service, this couple chose the Sermon on the Mount, the teaching of the Beatitudes that would mirror God’s love in their home. What a wonderful sermon and task they had chosen-to live in harmony, to weep with the mournful, to laugh with the joyful, to not be conceited. They had accepted the call to be humble.

Before the wedding, I had a blood test scheduled at the lab. I arrived early, but there were ten senior citizens ahead of me. So I read my Cook’s Illustrated magazine picking out a recipe for the weekend, However, my quick visit turned into an emergency. It seemed one of the seniors fainted in the middle of their blood test. I knew something was wrong when I overheard the receptionist say: “passed out.” A half hour later a patient was being hauled out the door of the lab on a gurney. People were impatient and complaining because they were in a hurry. Probably, other weddings to go to.

When it was my turn, the nurse verified that “two patients” had fainted that morning. I simply told her that it was not her fault and that she was doing a great job. Never felt that needle prick, but she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said, “Can I have a hug?” We need to practice to be “walking sermons.”

That’s the way of married life, the Beatitudes say that when things don’t go as planned, when there are delays or cancellation, mistakes or a spouse acts like a jerk, that’s the moment you can choose to “be like Christ.” This means to forgive and move on in such a way that your partner knows in their gut and heart that they made the right choice. Live humbly, pray for one another, be fair and honest all the time, let go of past grudges and resentments. God wants us to be joyful but only do if we are in need: hungry, searching, willing to change, willing to risk.

God prays for us as we reflect: “Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth.” (Psalm 31:5).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who live in harmony with their spouses. May their journey become a quiet, peaceful walk as they strive with your strength to live in the spirit of the “be-atitudes.” Let me add a special prayer for those friends separated that “in the meantime” of their life they find good friends who are willing to shed tears and walk with them as they search for healing and strength.

Hush and Be Still

I was feeling sad as a retiree shared his panic followed by an intense sense of dread that he would not have enough money for his spouse and children. No doubt individuals and families are suffering due to our national economy. It would be easy to get lost in the mindset of doom. Let's not.

Whenever we feel overwhelmed, it is so hard to sit still. It’s even a chore just to close your eyes for a few moments and gently let the world disappear to regain your balance. Shutting your eyes (never during driving) is a way of regaining health to your nervous system. In closing our eyes, we can regain our balance and proper focus.

Despite the economy and doom in the daily news, we need to learn to “be still.” So many struggles, so many battles because we are always on the go. And even when we have our body "sitting still", it seems that our minds keep..."going."

God prays for us as we reflect: "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:107).

When should we pray like this? It is hard to be still especially when everything and everyone is moving with such speed. But there are so many benefits in learning to “being still.” One is that we can “know God.”

Let me illustrate with an experience we share in our travels. We are visiting a famous aquarium or museum. There are lots of informational signs regarding the fish and the artwork. As you browse through the different galleries with your rented “hearing wand” you learn the stories about the fish or artists. But we still hastened pass so many of the exhibits. Even when we did stop to look for a nano-second, we were in a hurry. So, consequently, we were never still enough to know about the jellyfish, the horses or the works of art.

But if they are to know the artist, we must "be still" and spend time. Then we will know about the author as we gaze quietly at a cloud, a branch, and a wave of the sea or a ray of the drifting moon. In other words, "Be still and know the artist."

Find some solitude in your life. This can be challenging if you are at work, or at home with kids. But we all need some private time to let the nervous system regenerate. As little children, we might have hidden in the closet either playing “hide go seek” or a way to get away from it all. This tiny single room (a nun's closet, quite literally) became our sanctuary from the stresses of a little kid’s world. Inside we used our imagination not to feel scared but to find calm. Be creative. Find your space. Any way you can.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that they be motivated to just "hush" and "be still" and let you love them and minister to them. Help us to surrender these feelings of dread and doom and let them be still in their “nun’s closet”....let the Lord come in.

Soaring Feathers

It’s 4 am in the morning and I am driving to Dansville, New York on Labor Day to attend the annual hot air balloon festival. The pilots and crew chiefs are called to attend their morning briefing. Sunrise at 6:36 shows the sky to be clear except for some early morning fog descending along the valley. There would be a 20-minute delay to reassess the weather. In the crowd, I notice a photographer holding a telephoto lens. I scoot over and ask him what settings he plans to use on his digital to shoot the hot air balloons. In my practice, I have discovered that “men like to talk about their gadgets.”

A distinguished firefighter for over 30 years working at Kodak Park, this “gentle-man” retired and transferred his life saving skills into the realm of capturing the beauty of nature. Comparing notes about our experiences “in the wild,” we heard the announcement that the balloon launch would be canceled. The fog was too much a danger. My kind mentor noted that two parks were near the Dansville airfield. We “hooked up” and drove to Stoneybrook and later to Letchworth Park.

Sometimes broken plans lead us in directions we could never have imagined. Many times, we have made plans in our life about a career, a relationship, our vacation, or retirement and plans get cancelled due to poor weather, poor health or maybe a poor attitude.

Jesus taught a message that was a stumbling block for his disciples. He announced that his life would be “canceled.” He would have to suffer, die and rise from the dead. Personally, we would prefer to skip the suffering and save ourselves, our children, our neighbor from any pain. Yet despite, our humanity, I believe we are most divine when we surrender our need for survival and put our life on the line.

Thanking this retired firefighter for saving a broken morning, he was shooting the middle falls at Letchworth as I drove away. However, while driving out of park, I noticed a flock of turkey vultures gathered on a hilltop. One by one they took off to soar up into the thermals. So instead of taking images of slick hot air balloons, let me share with you a divine moment as these birds soared into my viewfinder with the clouds of glory as their backdrop.

The Lord prays for us as we reflect “Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed; he answers him from his holy heaven with the saving power of his right hand.” (Psalm 20:7).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends whose saving hands have reached out to someone struggling in their moments of suffering. Bless our firefighters and all our emergency professionals who daily risk their lives to save others from darkness and fear.

Moment of Grace

What is it that you don’t want to tell the Lord? Perhaps it was a moment when you were careless and hurt your friend’s feeling with a nasty remark. Worse, maybe it was time when you were out having fun and you found yourself pregnant. How many women have felt so alone and ashamed that they would never run to their parents with this news. Instead, they make a decision in seclusion that resulted in a lifetime of regret and shame. In those lonely moments in which you are plagued by your memories when you were not perfect that I would ask you to humbly look at the cross and say to yourself “ I believe.”

Many times when we pray, we expect God to zap us with what we ask for. Zap and we are perfect, zap and he makes us patient, zap and we given courage, zap and we are out of debt, zap and our broken relationships are fixed, or zap and we are forgiven. Rather, I like to think of God as someone who gives us the opportunity to be patient, to be kind, to forgive and be forgiven.

Despite what we think was our worse moment, our worse failure at being perfect, our worse sin that we think keeps us away from the immeasurable mercy of God, it is really anger that holds us back from the mercy of God that will make us feel whole again.

If you want to experience peace in your life after you list all the dumb, foolish and yes even shameful deeds and words you have committed, then I urge you to come away from this fear and say to yourself: “I forgive myself despite… and name your sin.” Then after you say this a dozen or more times, step two is simply: “I forgive the one who has hurt me…”

Never doubt the power of God’s willingness to free you from your shame, your sin and your worse nightmares. Remember the last words Our Lord spoke from the cross: “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” It is a “moment of grace” to surrender your sins to God and let go of the shame and fear that shadows your life. If no human words can bring relief from your suffering, then I would ask that you simply say to yourself inside your soul “Believe” and allow His healing presence to caress your troubled soul with His divine peace.

The Lord prays for us as we reflect: “The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer.” (Psalm 6:9).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends who continue to suffer daily from the memories that they have failed to live up to their expectations. Give us the humility and strength to understand that You died on the cross to show your immeasurable love that brings only divine mercy and inner peace.

A Little More Sonshine

Michael is a master floral designer, and he has the wonderful talent of taking a bunch of flowers and arranging them into a work of art. Many years ago, I wandered into his flower shop and asked if he could teach me how to arrange flowers. Despite my initial feeble efforts, I was soon making Valentine gifts of floral bouquets for the retired Sisters of Mercy. Now, this respected mentor was reviewing my photo portfolio to market to the worldwide net. As he sat in front of the computer scrutinizing hundreds of images, he was designing in his mind a unique approach to display the photo gallery.

Instead of listing holidays or seasons of the years, the search became a journey into capturing scenes that portrayed the divine seeds of celebration and healing. His imagination focused on looking for images that portrayed the spirit of joy and thanksgiving. As I moved the cursor from one file to another, we had no difficulty downloading images that illustrated images of healing and gratitude. However, our search started to crawl for photos that reflected a sensed of joy and happiness. I wished that I had taken more baby pictures, birthday parties, weddings, or children blowing soap bubbles. However my moments of grace were found in enchanted forests with babbling creeks, foggy mornings on a bay, mountain valleys, but where was the sunshine?

I have to admit that I felt uncomfortable to think that after a decade of photography, most of my images would best be labeled as “somber and serene.” Ministry had focused on helping folks cope with their trials and difficulties. The unconscious impact on our personality might be the tendency to see only the darkness. Nothing wrong in being serious and somber, but maybe this insight meant that I needed to make more room in my life for a little more joy. It was time to look for rainbows and ice creme sundaes, glory rays and hot air balloons. In case you forgot despite the stresses of everyday life, God wants us all to be as happy as this horse photo that needs a good caption to go along with his grin. Submit your suggestions on-line and I'll post for your enjoyment.

God prays for us as we reflect: “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy.” (Psalm 30:11).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends whose heavy crosses have made them serious and somber. Help us to find the joy in our everyday lives. May your Spirit inspire in us to be more mindful of the joy that bathes our life and soul with Your divine happiness.