A patient struggling in his marriage and chemical disease said that he wanted to go to church. His partner did not want him to come with her because it would make her feel uncomfortable. He said that he grew up Catholic, but then he said something that shocked me. “I won’t go back to my church because they make everyone feel evil.”Do you ever feel that your sins are too horrible or too terrible for God to forgive? That the volume of your sins is just too great to be forgiven. Do you have the feeling that there is little chance that God will ever let you into his heaven because of the very wicked life that you have led or because you have committed the same sins over and over? No offense to this beautiful bird, but the expression in his eyes reeks with an attitude that says: “Whom are you kidding?”
I believe that the God’s love doesn't care what you have done in the past, or how hideous, heinous, or horrendous your sins may have been. And he could care less about what sins you are committing right now. What he cares about is what you are going to do from now on. Let me share with you the Ten Commandments of Forgiveness. I will share the first three and follow up later in the month.
The First Commandment: Forgiveness is not easy. There is no cheap grace. There is no quick fix. A mother says to her child: “Tell him you’re sorry.” “I’m sorry.” The kid mumbles reluctantly. Doesn’t mean a thing. If it’s a quick and it’s easy it’s not real, especially for deep betrayals and hurts. So we need to ask God for help. We can’t forgive on our own. We need to ask God to start the process of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not easy and simple. It takes time.
The Second Commandment: Forgiveness is not Forgetting. We say, “Forgive and Forget.” I doubt think so. Forgiveness is about a change of heart, not a bad memory or having a senior moment. The wounds are too fresh or too deep. While forgiveness may not include harboring festering hurts, neither is it about forgetting. It may be helpful to remember the hurt from which you moved on, the occasion that began your journey to forgiveness.
The Third Commandment: Forgiveness does not overlook evil. I don't believe Catholics are responsible for all the evils in the world. We have done our share in history. It doesn’t mean that we accept injustice or naively believe that all is well when it isn’t. It doesn’t mean denial. It doesn’t mean, “Let’s pretend it never existed.” Forgiveness does not overlook evil.
God prays for us as we reflect: "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34).
Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who bear the burden of an unforgiving mind that is filled with despair. Help them to let go of the hurts and pain and walk with You as they journey toward peace.
