My best holiday stress tip includes this motto targeted for Sonshine moms. The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in service to others. But that doesn’t mean holding a soup ladle. Although, my sincere congratulations to the woman and men cooks who served over 300 Brockport students during exam week. As one student wrote on their comment card: “MMM…MMM…GOOD.”For the rest of the holidays, I like to take your name and the word “kitchen” and file a restraining order; since I believe there are a variety of other ways you can serve others. Let me complete the list of commandments for forgiveness.
The Eight Commandment: Forgiveness recognizes the humanness of the person who has wronged us and also recognizes our contributions to what went wrong. Simply put, it takes two and a little humility to fest up that sometimes we have a whiny attitude that needs an adjustment.
The Ninth Commandment: Forgiveness surrenders the right to get even. It’s not “I’m going to get you back…Payback time! Revenge!” It means letting go of that and embracing the spirit of wisdom that forgiveness surrenders the right to get even.
And finally, the Tenth Commandment: Forgiveness means we wish the person who hurt us, or the group (like our family and the in-laws), we wish them well. In fact, we wish them the best. That’s tough, but we let God be the final judge. We wish them to God’s mercy.
So here are the Ten Commandments of Forgiveness.
1. Forgiveness is not easy.
2. Forgiveness is not forgetting.
3. Forgiveness does not overlook evil.
4. Forgiveness is not indifference.
5. Forgiveness is not the same thing as approval.
6. Forgiveness recognizes that people are bigger than their faults.
7. Forgiveness allows a person to start all over again.
8. Forgiveness recognizes the humanness of the wrongdoer.
9. Forgiveness surrenders the right to get even.
10. Forgiveness wishes the offender well.
Taking our spouse to her favorite Christmas tree farm to cut down the family tree and dragging the ten-foot sucker over half a mile is one kind of service. For me, helping my buddy unload their Douglas fir and putting it up in a tiny living room, or saying a rosary at 7:30 in my office for my patients and friends, or visiting a priest-friend who needs encouragement and support, or helping a talented actress get the part in a play, or taking pictures of awesome landscapes to inspire your day. I'd like to think this is service, too, because if those people are empowered by my actions, then I've contributed to a better world just as much as if I had dished out mashed potatoes to a homeless person at a shelter. In other words, start with the things you like to do.
God prays for us as we reflect: "for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matt 6:21).
Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who bring the Christmas spirit into the homes and hearts of their friends and neighbors. Help us to be people of mercy, with gentle spirits to heal those who complain, shoulders to hold those in pain and the cup of our hands to catch the tears that bring your healing.
