Rudolf, Won't You Guide My Sleigh Tonight?

Santa's most popular reindeer by far is Rudolf, Rudolf, the red-nosed reindeer. Here is his story as told in music by Johnny Marks: Rudolf, the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw him, you would even say it glows. All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor Rudolf play in any reindeer games. Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came to say: "Rudolf with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?" Then all the reindeer loved him as they shouted out with glee: "Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer, you'll go down in history!" The story of Rudolf is the story of salvation. It is our story both as individuals and as the human family. In our own case it is not Santa who saves us but the Child Jesus.

To begin with, Rudolf was a misfit. Compared to the image of the ideal reindeer we can say that something was definitely wrong with him. What is more, he was not in any position to help himself. So are we all, misfits: "We are like sheep who have gone astray" (Isaiah 53:6). Like lost sheep we are not in a position to help ourselves. Rudolf could not help himself. All that his fellow reindeer did was to makes things worse for him. Only one person could help him, Santa, the messenger from heaven.

Soon, we will celebrate the birth of the Messenger from heaven. He comes to liberate us from the human predicament, our self-centeredness. Our self-destructive ways turn us into a despicable Rudolf, the red-nosed reindeer. But the heavenly Messenger comes, not to take away the “red nose” but to declare to us the Good News that we are acceptable to God even with the red nose. Rudolf's red nose was a defect. But Santa chose him precisely on account of that. The heavenly Messenger has the ability to turn the defects and red noses of our tainted humanity into assets for the service of God. Jesus is this heavenly messenger.

What makes the reindeer gospel so poignant is that Santa does not use his magic wand to heal Rudolf of his red nose defect. He let him go on with the red nose even as his chosen reindeer. Certainly Rudolf would have wanted to be a normal reindeer like all the rest. Similarly Jesus does not simply make us good men and women, rather he makes us into people who can use all their strengths and defects to the service and the glory of God. This is the proof to us that it is not by our own will power that we are able to become children of God. It is by God's grace, by God's unmerited and unconditional love of us.

You can imagine how Rudolf felt when he heard the words of Santa, "Rudolf with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?" That is why we call it the Good News. It is news that is liberating and empowering. It empowers us by changing our former disposition of insecurity, despair and hopelessness into that of blessed assurance, new hope and enthusiasm in the Lord's service.

God prays for us as we reflect: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who feel like misfits. Our “red noses” that point to our inner shame and disfigure the beauty that God sees within us. Like Rudolf before Santa, let us listen to the Message that the Christ Child brings us, let us commit ourselves into his service without looking back, even when we do not know where the journey will lead us, knowing one thing for sure: that the grace of God will supply the strength we need for the long journey of faith ahead. A Blessed Christmas.

Ice Your Pain

Ironic that after a stellar annual physical, two hours later, I fall on a patch of ice on my back and I am in pain! What a way to start the week before Christmas? Thank God that He is in our "pain" of living. Everyday I listen to the pain of people buried with fears of losing a job, a spouse, or health. And, who likes pain? Not this priest especially when the pull rope on the snow blower refused to start the motor and my back is screaming in pain. This is the kind of pain that drops you to your knees. I literally felt like the words in Psalm: 38:7: “My back is filled with searing pain; there is no health in my body.”

However suffering and pain needs to be addressed in our lives. O Come, O Come Emmanuel means “God is with us in us—especially when we are “in pain.” I believe God has some lesson and opportunity for us in pain. But, does it have to come during a snowstorm? Come on Lord, what is the mystery to pain? James states it this way in 5:11: “As you know we consider blessed those who have preserved. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about… The Lord is full of compassion and mercy."

When I try to deal with the mystery of suffering and pain my thoughts turn to the homebound who have no more strength to fight the system. I think of a Sonshine Friend whose home care and nursing services have put her health at risk. Sometimes due to our pain, we no longer have the strength to want to go on. We feel alone in our pain. However, I tried to remind her on a snowy Sunday afternoon that she has the dignity of her soul and her faith and to keep on praying.

It is interesting that the treatment for pain recommended after the fall is ice and later warmth to help in the healing process. Sometimes when our prayers are not answered we think that God has the heart of ice. It is our perseverance that will lead to the warmth of God’s comfort.

Keep in mind that our pain is not meaningless. We pray for a cure or at least some relief but it seems God has not answered our prayer. The things we count as refusals are simply delays, which we can't understand in the natural. In pain, which I feel, I lift my eyes to my Redeemer. It need not be meaningless. I ask God to remove the pain; if not I ask God to reveal his lessons and truths through it. There are those watching my reaction and response.

God pray for us as we reflect: “I am in pain and distress; may your salvation, O God, protect me.” (Psalm 69:29).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends who are indeed in pain - physically - or in a situation that is "painful." I ask that you give them relief and when on their knees you bless them with strength and grace to endure for the Kingdom.

Always in a Hurry

What kind of waiter are you? I don’t mean folks who serve your table at restaurants, but people who wait. There are those who remain patient and calm no matter what circumstance, but they are rare. Far more common are the impatient ones who pace and tap and glance at their watches; who, when you finally arrive, let you know exactly how late you are; who weave in and out of traffic trying to get one car ahead of the others; who get into the express lane at the supermarket with their basket far over the twelve-item limit, who are always in a hurry.

There are the multitaskers with their cell phones, blueberries and palm pilots who can’t abide the solitude and silence so necessary for emotional and spiritual growth. Then, there are those who simply can’t wait at all, like the children who ask, “when is Santa coming?”

I realize that there are times when we have to actually "hurry". But the normal pace, must be kept slower...for our sake and the sake of others as well. I don't ever recall reading that Jesus was on the run.

Jesus was master of the art of spending time. He never let it master him. He did not give the impression of dashing about Palestine trying to save time and keep to a schedule.

He knew that his working days were short. He said so. There was an air of urgency about him, but there was no feverish hurrying. He had time to sit and talk with individuals along the way. He paused to play with little children. He took time off to spend whole hours in prayer. But was it taking time off? Off from what? Jesus was not keeping to a calendar. He was fulfilling a life.

Folks at the Blue Christmas Healing Mass had the opportunity to slow down a little from the hectic pace and "smell the roses". But, I know, some are thinking, "Well, if you knew what I was going through you would think different!" Actually, I do know what some are going through.

As I was leaving the chapel, the last person expressed her thanks for the healing service because she was going through tests for lupus. Sometimes, the news is bad. It's the pits!! But I also know someone who is waiting for us to reach up through our difficulties and touch Him.

God prays for us as we reflect: "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God." (John 14:1).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that they listen to your whisper that says: “I am here.” Then they could put up with anything, could wait forever.

Keep On Keeping On

On Sunday, a special message was read in all the churches from our bishop. It said “we are adrift. Sadly, a litany of hurts in recent years has resulted in a severe drop of church attendance, a severe shortage of vocations, the closing of churches and a drop in respect for our religious leaders. The Catholic community is adrift in the pain of the abuse scandal, and the scandal that plagues communities in conflict over how to make Christ present in our modern world. The bishop invited all his parishes to join him in a season of renewal beginning in Lent.

Then an “ angel” appeared in our midst. She appeared in the form of a young college student by the name of Carolyn. She bounced up eagerly to the lectern to make her announcement. In a voice that caught your attention, she announced that a group of students at Brockport College were talking about the poor, the cold and winter. They decided that they wanted to do something to make a difference. So she had come to announce that these students would be collecting blankets to give to the poor during the winter months. She asked the community to check their closets at home and donate a blanket to keep the poor warm this winter. She had bought a blanket to donate and you could see her face light up, as she knew this was what Jesus wants her to do. Her inspiration and sincerity lifted the hearts of the community with a message that simply said, “Keep on keeping on.”

Are you in a situation where it appears to be the "same old, same old"? Like our church adrift, maybe you need a lift from our angel Carolyn.

Whenever I have a troubled patient in my office, I remind them of this story. Did you ever noticed that when the Lord told the discouraged fishermen to cast their nets again it was right in that same old place where they had been working all night, and had caught nothing?

If we could only go off to some new place every time we get discouraged, trying again would be an easier thing. If we could be somebody else, or go somewhere else, or do something else, it might not be hard to have fresh faith and courage; but it is the same old net in the same old pond for most of us.

Everyday is a new day where old faults are to be conquered, where old hurts and discouragements are to be forgiven, where we have failed yesterday we are to face again today. We will win success “where we are” when we pray to God, who knows that “despite” all our disheartening efforts that we call failures, He bids us to "Keep on keeping on.”

God prays for us as we reflect: “Indeed we are called blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of the perseverance of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, because, the Lord is compassionate and merciful.” (James 5:11)

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are caught up in their hurts and resentments from the past. Bless them to "hang in there" and to know that you are with them. We are where we are at this moment. May this one make the best of it without complaining.

God Loves You Too Much!

"God loves you just the way you are, but he loves you too much to let you stay that way." I love these words and this stunning image of Jesus on the cross taken inside the Church of the Immacula on the campus of San Diego University reminds me of Christ’s first words on the cross: "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Just what have you done? After the turkey and football, comes the shopping frenzy. On Black Friday, people spent 10.3 billion in search of happiness. The compulsive urge to buy is strong when vendors tell us “to give in to the urge.” However, in this age of the internet, the buying frenzy for the holiday actually begins today on Cyber Monday when 68 million people will place their orders online.

Christ's life on earth was lived for others. He relinquished his self to live for others. We are called upon to do the same. Especially as we enter upon another season of Christmas buying madness, we need to constantly remind ourselves about where our true values should be. Christ has shown us the way to true happiness, and it doesn't come from anything in this world. Eternal life begins with our relinquishing of the things of this world.

But let me turn your attention to the best Christmas gift you might consider for yourself. The example comes from the request of the Good Thief: it is never too late to make a conversion, to turn our lives around and better arrange our priorities.

The thief asks only that Jesus remember him when he comes into his kingdom. And yet, just because he calls upon Jesus in his dying moments, our Lord promises not only to remember him in the next world but that today he will be with him in Paradise. The thief can die in peace.

It is the same for us. As long as there is breath in our bodies, forgiveness and salvation are always a possibility. As long as there is a "today", then conversion can happen. And our Lord will not only forgive us our sins but bring us to live with him forever. All we need to do is to remember that life consists of being with Christ because where Christ is, there is the kingdom.

Christ prays for us as we reflect: “Help us, God our Savior, for the glory of your name. Deliver us, pardon our sins for your name’s sake.”
(Psalm 79:9).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are in need of conversion. Help us to root out pride and greed and allow your forgiveness to flow through our veins. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

Paving the Road to Thanksgiving

This weekend, I received a letter from my doctor confirming my annual physical exam in December. The letter detailed the lab work that needs to be done prior to the visit. When I turned the page, there were eight boxes checked for lab tests. I thought that enough blood would be taken to satisfy a vampire, until the letter stated, “there is a possibility that additional blood work may be requested after your exam.” God help me!

If I wasn’t feeling run down by the approach of another holiday season, this letter set me up for more moaning and complaining. No doubt, we are already annoyed by marketing that began in September to “shop till we drop” which “zaps” our bodies resistance and makes us prone to colds and viruses. However, as we prepare to travel to sit at table with our family and friends on Thanksgiving Day, let me offer this prescription to health.

A holy monk gave this teaching to visitors at the monastery. He encouraged the people to practice gratefulness as a spiritual exercise that transforms a person who is given to moping and complaining to a person radiant with joy.

The visitors were advised to start each day by writing out a list of things they were grateful for. They were encouraged to keep a notepad by their bed, and each day before beginning their morning meditation, they take a few minutes to make a list of 7-8 items that they are grateful for that day.

I can’t begin to describe how powerful this simple exercise has been in my life in promoting healing at the level of mind, body and spirit. By starting each day with my gratitude list, I consciously shift my attention to the many blessings in life. This is light years away from my previous pattern of starting off too many days bemoaning the “insurmountable obstacles that I believed (inaccurately) lied ahead of me. What a difference this awareness makes!

In short, I am thoroughly convinced that gratitude – which I define as a sincere sense of appreciation for God’s presence in the form of the many blessings in our lives. For example, the doctor who doesn’t need my blood but he wants to make sure that all my “bodily systems” are running well. Gratitude paves the way for the healing and positive outcomes that we are seeking.

If you are struggling with any form of crisis in your life, I would urge you to set aside a few minutes each morning to compose your own daily gratitude list. If your experience is anything like mine, you will find that the results arte nothing short of miraculous.

God prays for us as we reflect: "You changed my mourning into dancing and clothed me with gladness. With my whole being I sing endless praise to you. O Lord, my God, forever I will give you thanks forever.” (Psalm 30: 12-13).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends whose presence in my life I am most humbly grateful. May their spiritual journey be paved with many signs of your holy presence and blessings in their life. May I suggest that at your Thanksgiving table, each person take a moment to express gratitude to God for their precious children, grandchildren, and all relatives and friends and truly give thanks.

Shifting Through the Ashes

On the fourth day of the San Diego firestorm, the lead story featured respiratory doctors offering advice on how best to cope with the fallen ash particles from the firestorm. “Stay indoors” was their advice. However, 1500 families were in shock when they discovered that their homes were completely destroyed. They were advised to wear R95 masks as they began the slow process of recovery by shifting through the ruins.

One local reporter asked a teenager how she was handling the lost of her home. Sarah is only 15, yet this was she second time in her life that she was shifting through the rumble of her burned out home. Her home had burned down four years ago in the Cedar Fires. At that time, she was devastated losing her clothes, family photos and toys from her childhood. In the Witch Fire of 2007, she had dug out ceramic mugs in the rubble. Again, she felt pretty sad, but it somehow did not bother her as much as before. In a profound moment, she made this comment to the reporter: “Half the stuff I had I didn’t need.”

When families received their reverse 911 call to evacuate, they were told to take only the essentials. The baby, diapers, formula, medicines and the dog. Some folks who had a little more time and grabbed their important documents and the family photos.

God tells us to be prepared because we do not know the day nor the hour when we might be called upon to “evacuate this earth.” At that moment, we might agree with Sarah’s insight that “half the stuff we have been carrying in this life we did not need.”

What excess baggage are you carrying at this moment? No need to carry resentment in the trunk (the acid causes pain in your gut). No need to lock the anger behind your eyes (the headaches are a pain in the brain). No need to be plagued by fears of shame locked in our closets (the lack of sleep leads to chronic fatigue). All this baggage results in poor health, a weak heart and a troubled soul. The only thing that matters to God is your safety. His divine mercy protects us from the fires of hell, the fires in our life. God’s love will quench our thirst for acceptance, understanding and any fear about our futures.

What do you most need from God? Watching those families pick through the rumble, a neighbor would simply come over and give them a big hug. A gesture of hope that was meant to restore their courage to rebuild their home one brick at a time. Let this message be my hug for each of you who find themselves shifting through the ashes.

God prays for us as we reflect: “May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God's and Christ's perseverance.” Thessalonians 3:5

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends who have lost everything in a fire or any storm of life. Renew their broken spirit, bring healing and comfort and focus our eyes on the love that comes from the generosity of others.

Ashes of Life

I often ask my patients to name their stress and put it on a scale of 1-10. Their pain or affliction may come from some past hurts from in-laws, or lost of job, or worse, the fear of losing their health due to some trauma. During the recent San Diego firestorm, I had the privileged of meeting a very “gentle and humble” soul. Archie was no stranger to affliction since he had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease five years ago. However, he daily practiced the lessons of faith and courage in coping with his afflictions.

Archie waited anxiously for the latest news from his son Kyle whose family had evacuated from the San Diego firestorms. He knew this family had safely evacuated their home, but he had no clue whether their home survived the raging fires. On Tuesday afternoon, Kyle called his parents and shared that his home had miraculously survived the firestorm.

The fires destroyed 11 homes across the valley from where Kyle lived. The home just below him was untouched by the flames and his home on the other side of the valley had been miraculously spared. However, there was some sad news to share with Archie. Kyle told his dad that his 150 avocado trees were burned by the fires. Archie had planted this grove over 30 years ago. The potting shed was destroyed and the irrigation system that watered the delicate green fruit was in unknown repair.

Archie shared the story that he used this avocado farm to teach his kids respect and responsibility for the value of work. Many years ago while raising his children, Saturday mornings were not a time for sleeping in but this dad had his kids working the land and caring for those delicate trees.

Archie breathed a sign of relief and offered a prayer of thanks to God that the home of his children and grandchildren’s was spared. The devastation had stopped within 100 yards from the family homestead. But Archie wondered: What was God thinking burning his precious fruit? One must realize and know down deep in their inner selves that good will come from our afflictions- and further God has allowed this affliction to come.

Once a man completely dejected by his afflictions was walking one day in one of the botanical gardens of Oxford. He noticed this really pretty pomegranate tree. It had a stem which was cut almost through! He asked - what has happened? The gardener replied with an answer which explained the wounds of this man's troubled spirit. "This tree used to shoot so strongly that it bore nothing but leaves. I therefore had to cut it in this manner. Now, when it is almost cut through it has begun to bear plenty of fruit."

Fires in southern California are a matter of fact to families living in that wilderness. God asks us to accept our troubled spirits from fires or disease with the grace and power of the Holy Spirit to endure and see how God can use it. This is, indeed, a hard saying! Some of the words of Jesus speak of how God uses hardship to grow our faith. Scripture speaks regarding God saving us out of afflictions; upholding people in affliction; being a refuge for those afflicted by life.

Despite the apparent destruction of those avocado trees, nature can be very resilient. Kyle promised his dad that he would check that irrigation system to see if it could be salvaged. Maybe, the trees themselves would stage a come back. Only time and the saving grace of God would tell the final outcome.

God prayers for us as we reflect: “I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul. (Psalm 31:7).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends whose lifetime of work appears to have gone up in smoke. Give us faith and courage in times of affliction to persevere in our firestorms and believe that good will come from the bad. May the ashes that cover the soil reach deep into the roots of those avocados to restore their vigor and bring forth the miracle of fresh fruit to revive this dad’s troubled spirit.

Apolcalypse

Last Monday morning, October 22nd, 910,000 people in San Diego County received a “reverse 911 call”-mandating families to evacuate their homes. In the next 72 hours, 400,000 acres would burn in eight separate fires. At 5am that morning, I was in the center of that firestorm visiting a Marine family. Dad had reported at 5am to his unit at Camp Pendleton. He awaited orders to return home to be with his wife and child. At 6am, I was carrying cases of water and packing the SUV with the “essentials.” I loaded the trunk with baby food, diapers, flashlights, batteries, a few wedding photos, the baby and the family dog.

Despite the imminent danger, this Marine spouse would not leave her apartment complex without her best friend; She ran upstairs and pounded on the door until her girlfriend awoke. She was told you got five minutes to pack and we got to go. In less than three, her groggy friend piled the truck with more clothes, more wedding pictures and her family dog. We then hit the road with two Marine wives, a 7-month-old baby, two dogs and the chaplain holding a shivering old dog on his lap who was wetting my jeans—most likely nerves.

Traffic was bumper to bumper on Route 5 heading away from the fires. As we inched our way to safety, the sky literally changed before our eyes into a yellow haze of thick smoke and ash. This was called the Witch Fire that started in a canyon that the local Native Americans referred to as “bewitched.” The fierce Santa Ana winds were gusting over 60 miles per hour and making this monster firestorm impossible to contain.

I was having memories of driving into downtown Manhattan the day after 9/11. I still have images of that sickening haze of yellow and grey that filled the sky in which you could not see the skyscrapers. As we drove, we could no longer see the mountains nor homes from the side of the road. We could only smell the smoke and literally see the ash fall on our windshield.

Evacuation centers were being set up all over the county including Qualcomm Stadium, where the San Diego Chargers football team plays. This site would become a portal of safety for some 10,000 evacuees. The people of San Diego were at their best donating blankets, sandwiches, sunscreen, Q-tips, toothpaste and dog food. Another 20,000 volunteers came to handout food and offer support.

Firefighters don’t get in front of these monster fires for they know they cannot be stopped. Only four years ago, San Diego battled the Cedar Fire, which was the largest fire in the state’s history. This Firestorm of 2007 would lead to the largest evacuation some 900,000 people in American history and result in the destruction of over 2,000 homes and businesses.

One never knows where God wants us to serve. We need simply to be open to the present moment and allow the Spirit of compassion to direct our actions. Our efforts might reflect the heroism of those 13,000 firefighters, or the generosity of the thousands of donors and volunteers who came to the shelters to offer comfort, or a lap to hold a frighten dog. I continue to serve as a consultant and mentor to the critical incident counselors who are being deployed today into local schools and businesses.

The Lord prays for us as we reflect: "I will build a house for you. Therefore your servant now finds the courage to make this prayer to you.” (2 Samuel 7:27).

Lord, I pray for the thousands of firefighters who risked their lives to protect families from the firestorm. Bless the volunteers who fed, sheltered and comforted many wounded souls and watered all your creatures great and small. Note, my Marine families did not lose their homes to the fire. They invited other Marine families whose homes were damaged to stay at their homes for safety. I learned last evening that these same Marines were informed on Friday that they are being deployed to Iraq in January 2008.

Steaking Windows

In helping patients cope with their excessive angry moods, I might suggest methods to redirect their anxiety into more positive activities. Anything aerobic is a remedy, but I think I stumbled about a more innovative solution. I will recommend to all my patients to “wash windows.” I had volunteered to wash an old home with its 30-year-old pane glass and screens. This household task was a lesson in humility.

Many years ago while visiting patients in the hospital, I met a man who told me that he was a professional window washer. His secret for getting windows bright and clean was “dirty water.” I thought he was teasing but he explained that the grime that came off the windows as you washed them served a useful purpose. The grit that accumulated on the window over time served like a mini-scouring pad to clean the windows even better. The dirt actually helped to make the windows bright and clean.

Despite this tip, the job of eliminating the streaks on these windows was exasperating. The sun does not lie and as it shined through the dining room window. I would always find another streak that I had missed. I took down that window at least a dozen times before it passed the test. I began to rethink that this household task might either cure "rage-a-holics" or worse, make one raging insane. In the process of cleaning these old windowpanes, I discovered that in addition to “dirty water” a stronger solution of ammonia would help to eliminate any streaks.

There are situations in life we keep making the same mistakes. The same habits plagued our personality despite our promises to change. In the process, we drive ourselves nuts trying to rub out the streaks of pride, greed and selfishness. We promise to exercise, eat healthier or let go of our addiction to a variety of grimy behaviors that keep us from being a responsible and caring person. Honestly, there is a lot of grime in our buckets of life that has accumulated throughout the years. We may want to dump our bucket of grime down the sink, but the Lord has a different solution. Simply put, He wants us to add His life and spirit into the mix. As I added more ammonia into the solution to help eliminate those annoying streaks, God wants us to add more time for Him to get rid of the streaks that prevent us from shining with His love.

After I had washed those windows, I had noticed on the following day that one small pane had some smudges on it. What gives! It turned out that the family cat had jumped up on the window sill to admire the squirrels on the trees and in her excitement rubbed her nose on the window pane. Maybe, we need to rub noses with our Lord more often to admire His goodness and help us to let go of the grease and grim that clogs our lives.

The Lord prays for us as we reflect: “From you let my vindication come; your eyes see what is right.” (Psalm 17:2). The New American Bible

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who deny that the windows of their life need a good scrubbing. We can barely see through the panes of glass that are filled with the grime and grit of life. Help us to add your grace into our solution so that we humbly shine bright in your presence.

Crud in Your Pipes

The title of the seminar was “An Ounce of Prevention.” I had been asked to facilitate a workshop on health screening tests for blood pressure, cholesterol, cancer, diabetes and an assortment of health conditions. I turned to a long-time Sonshine geriatric doctor for his wisdom; His input was simple, yet quite profound. He said: “Sometimes we say that life is unfair. The unfairness is about our genetics.”

In taking a medical history, your doctor will ask you whether your parents and siblings suffered from any medical condition like heart disease or cancer. If you have a medical condition in your family history, then you be crazy not to get a regular health screening for that disease. The earlier any disease is detected, the more your health care provider can help you stay healthy.

Now, I wonder what a spiritual screening test would show up on your chart. A mass of crankiness, resentment, jealousy or worse the need for revenge. In preparing for any medical tests, we are asked to put on a paper gown and sit on the cold gurney waiting for the technicians to perform their tests. Regretfully, most women are quite familiar with the discomfort of certain tests. My recommendation, find a tech who knows what they are doing to make this experience more comfortable.

We are told that God will examine our lives at the end of time. Instead of dreading this final exam, and the outcome of His tests. Now might be a good time to get back into spiritual shape and workout those areas of our lives that need a reconditioning. In taking care of our heart, we might think of it as a pump with lots of pipes. If we put to much pressure on the pump or pipes, something might blow.

Where are you suffering spiritual pressure? This might be a time to find a good tech, or spiritual director to help you examine your spiritual health with the goal of cleaning out your pipes so that the grace of God’s mercy might flow more smoothly in your veins.

God prays for us as we reflect: " Behold, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.” (Jeremiah 33:6).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends whose pipes are filled with memories of crud that block Your healing. Help us to find a spiritual director, a good tech whose is gentle and understanding and inspires us to better spiritual health.

Leading Me On

“I took my ring off my finger and told her I would NEVER put it back on again.” This angry husband felt a premonition months ago, that something was wrong with his marriage. He looked straight into his partner’s eyes on Sunday morning and shared his suspicions when she began to tear up and then he discovered the truth.

He experienced the normal trauma reactions: disbelief, shock, sadness, anger, and confusion. Somehow, he knew deep inside that he had been preparing for this awful moment. For years, he ignored his wife’s invitation to come with the family to church. The usual stubborn excuses prevailed such as: business, fatigue, and other important secular matters. However, “something began to gnaw” inside his gut. Something was leading him on to come back to the Lord. A maelstrom was brewing inside his home and he better find safety in the house of God.

He attended a Men’s Group at his church and an elder gave a witness talk from this scripture: “There is an appointed time for everything; and a time for every affair under the heavens. …a time to die… a time to mourn…and a time to heal…” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4). Our poor soul felt that his marriage was dead. Surely, the old marriage was in tatters, but the grace of God works miracles and can help any couple be reborn from the ashes of despair and resentment. At the moment, he was drowning in his anger and “how dare she” betray the vows of the altar.” His rage only made him feel more helpless and vulnerable which evolved further into silly, self-righteous platitudes.

God’s healing salve entered this man’s heart when I reminded him of the story of the Magdalene. How did she feel when she looked into the eyes of our Lord? Looking into Jesus’ eyes, she felt no shame but only mercy. She found only peace and forgiveness which empowered her soul through God’s saving grace.

I gave this tortured soul an assignment or more like a prescription. I simple asked him that the next time he looked into the eyes of his tearful beloved, what would she see? The Lord’s merciful eyes or the vengeful glare of her accuser. There was only silence as he left the office. I believe God is leading them on to brave the storm and rise above the ashes of shame and despair.

The Lord prays for us as we reflect: “Have mercy on me, God, in your goodness; in your abundant compassion blot out my offense.” (Psalm 51:3). The New American Bible

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who know when they have been betrayed and lose trust in their beloved. In our emptiness and rage, save us from our desire for pity and revenge. Pour your healing salve that helps us to forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

Stuck in the Mud

Did you ever have one of those days in which you feel “stuck in the mud.” Jeremiah had a moment in which he was thrown into the cistern and feared for his life as he sank into a pool of mud.

There are times when our faith gets us in trouble with family and friends. We have mud on our faces because we believe its better to “love our enemies” or “turn the other cheek” or “make peace and not war.” Our Lord had his own troubles with his in-laws and friends who abandoned him in the end and left him to be stuck on a cross. His radical message set him sat at odds with the religious leaders and popular culture of his day.

When we allow a car to cut in front of us on the highway, instead of a curse we might pray for them when they are in such a hurry. When people throw mud in our faces because of our values on life for the unborn or peace in the world, we might pray for the safety of our soldiers and the children.

Being stuck in the mud might be the result of a bad psychological fall or relapse into an old addiction that has come back to life to haunt us. At times like these we need to surrender our need to control the situation and pray to God to help us again get out of the mud of misery and self-pity and start the road back to recovery. God wants us to be successful but the road is filled with lots of potholes and mud along the way.

The Lord prays for us as we reflect: “I waited, waited for the Lord;, who bent down and heard my cry. He drew me out of the pit of destruction, out of the mud of the swamp, Set my feet upon rock, steadied my steps.” (Psalm 40:2-3).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are stuck in their old patterns that make us unhealthy and mean. We put ourselves at risk for more pain and suffering. Give us the courage and grace to surrender the need for control and help us out of our cesspool of pride and resentment.

We Are All Worth the Search

We are all worth the search. We are all worth finding. The God we pray to wants us to know that no matter how far we have roamed, no matter how bad we have been, no matter what we have done, if we repent and promise to change our lives, then we will be found, we will be forgiven.

But guess what? Being found doesn't just happen. Sometimes Christ needs to work through us to bring others back to his flock.

In my ministry as a hospital chaplain, I remember a nurse sharing a story about a patient who had been admitted with a heart attack, and he had seemed restless and anxious all evening. After checking his chart, she asked how he was feeling. With tears in his eyes, he asked her if she would call his daughter and tell her of his heart attack. She was the only family he had left, and he seemed very anxious that she know of his condition. The nurse promised to call right away.

When the nurse reached the patient’s daughter with news of her father's heart attack, she was startled by the woman's reaction. The woman screamed, "No!" She blurted out that she and her father hadn't communicated in years. He had abandoned the family when she was a child and raised by her mother. All this time, she had struggled with forgiveness.

The nurse began to pray. If only God would allow this estranged father and his daughter to reconcile! She felt an urgent need to return to his room and found him unconscious, suffering from another heart attack. She performed CPR on his lifeless form, she sent up a desperate prayer to God that he wouldn't die before he found peace with his daughter. But no amount of medical attention would re-start his heart. He was dead.

In the hallway of the hospital, the nurse saw a young woman with shock and grief on her face. It was the daughter. The nurse tried to comfort her. "I never hated him, you know. I loved him," the young woman said. The daughter wanted to see her father. As the daughter leaned over the body of her dead father and cried, the nurse glanced around the room. She picked up a piece of paper and glanced at the name on top, and handed it to the daughter. The young woman read it aloud: "My dearest, I pray you will forgive me. I know that you love me. I love you too. Daddy." Where grief and shock had contorted the daughter’s features and filled her eyes, now there was only peace. The nurse slipped out of the room and headed to a telephone, to call her own father.

We need to ask ourselves "who needs forgiveness in our own lives"? How much anger may be consuming our lives, the very same anger which once consumed the life of the daughter? We need to use this time to forgive our friends, our family, our neighbors, and maybe even ourselves. Christ needs us to find the lost and bring them back. Only then will there be great rejoicing in heaven.

The Lord prays for us as we reflect: “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that we may never doubt Your love nor take for granted the mercy You have shown to us. Fill us with your transforming love that we may be merciful as you are merciful.

Driving Into the Storm

I have just returned from another 9/11 incident providing critical incident services to over 500 employees who witnessed the death of a co-worker.

On 9/11 while buildings fell, lives were lost, I remember praying with passengers in the terminal at JFK because for some God was found.

There is no doubt that this date will stand forever in the corridors of time, but as I ministered to hundreds of workers who were shocked to learn that their colleague had died, the spirit of compassion was quietly working her way into the hearts of those employees to reach out to save others who were going through 9/11 experiences.

I believe we must continue to let the Holy Spirit minister to us in the areas of our fog and the darkness of our unbelief. While employees were in shock and disbelief, I heard many stories of suffering. The nephew gunned down on a city street only two weeks ago. An employee’s brother shot and killed over the weekend. A manager grief for his 16-year son who had died of cancer. A young man slumped at his desk at 11 o’clock at night who had just returned from the hospital where his father was on life support.

Then there was the woman diagnosed with cancer in May but she was in remission. Now, she wanted to help others and tell her story of survival and help others face their fear and despair with her courage and hope. The EMT who ran to the side of that employee had just graduated from her safety course was receiving emails from other EMT employees who offered to put together an emergency response team into their workplace. I believe the Holy Spirit was on fire with compassion in this call center in the past 48 hours healing during this traumatic moment.

Yet, in our 9/11 moments of daily life, we might be thinking: Why is this happening to me? or I just can’t handle this any longer, or God, where are you, I desperately need you? or Where was God on September 11?

There are many stories of suffering in the Scriptures for a reason. Through them, we can gain a glimmer of insight into dealing with our own sufferings. What can we learn about their sorrows and about our own? Through the storms of life and through any difficult situation let us learn that: some saints learn to hate, some saints learn to wonder and some saints learn to wait. I wonder where you might find yourself in these three statements?

Where was God September 11, 2001? Where was God in the past 48 hours? Yes, God is with you right now....where you are!! Now, that might not change the situation, but I know personally, that it changes my attitude toward any difficulty....the lost.....the job situation.....the marriage.....the relationship.....the raising of a difficult child....the lack of strength.....you name your critical incident…your trauma.

The Lord prays for us as we reflect: “Even though I walk through a dark valley, I fear no harm for you are at my side; your rod and your staff give me courage.” (Psalm 23:4).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who desperately need you now! You are aware of the trauma we face at this very moment. In fact I believe that You are thinking about us right now. I pray you bring comfort and peace in a very special way from your keyboard in heaven to theirs. Assure them that they are not alone and assure them of your love in the situation. Please grant your peace and may their soul be calm through the storms of life.

Comfortable In Your Own Skin

I have a Sonshine friend who uses a wheelchair for mobility. She wondered why Jesus only healed a few people in the Bible, why not everyone? Her prayer life is rich, but sometimes she gets turned her off to her religion, as she wondered why after much prayer she herself was not healed. But then she has grown to learn that healing comes in many ways.

Maybe her healing was letting go of the hurt, the resentment, the not accepting her situation of the wheelchair and allowing the healing peace of Christ to enter her live. After she did that, she came to realize that the stories of Jesus were more than a few miracles for a few people, but a way of life, a relationship with Christ that daily allows her to accept and to be free and “comfortable in her own skin."

Sometimes she wishes she could wake up in the morning without the help of her home care aide and get dressed in no certain order. For with wearing leg braces, she had to put her socks on first, then her leg brace, then lace up all the straps on the brace, pull her pants over the leg brace, etc. A very tedious affair.

But in her dream, she would run out of the room with one shoe on, one shoe off down the stairs without hanging onto the rail, outside, skipping and hoping trying to get the other shoe on. She would run as fast as she could and let the breeze flow through her hair. She would jump as high as she could just to feel what it was like to be off the ground. She wished for what the rest of us often take for granted.

All of us at one point or another wish to be free from something. We pray, we beg, we try any thing, but then reality sinks in and we know our wish will be answered. Healing comes in many forms, and it just might be the ability to live with the reality of life and then to be comfortable in our own skins.

The Lord prays for us as we reflect: “But the needy will never be forgotten, nor will the hope of the afflicted ever fade.” (Psalm 9:19)

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are afraid to face their limitations or go into shock when the doctor tells us that we must walk with a brace. May your healing give us the strength to be comfortable in our own skins.

Across the Finish Line

A Sonshine Friend retired after a distinguished vocation, as a college professor. He felt his calling to teach was a gift from the Lord. One unfinished task that troubled his soul was a student who had for years procrastinated to get her dissertation completed. She would not graduate. He had given her numerous extensions to complete her assignment, but each time she failed to meet the deadline. She was running out of time, since the college informed her that her privileges as a matriculating student were about to be suspended. So, he called upon her once again and encouraged her to complete her final requirement.

There were more delays, but he received a surprise on the 28th of the month with only 3 days left before the final deadline. It was the dissertation that she needed to complete. He quickly edited her work that very same day and asked her to simply follow his instructions to make the necessary corrections so that she could graduate in the summer. In reviewing her final work, he judged her thesis on the basis that for this student “this was the best work that she could do.”

What a marvelous and profound statement to make about a person. Here is a professor who knows his students. He never gave up on her. Throughout her tenure as a student, he kept encouraging her to preserve despite the obstacles that plagued her life. She was victim to the many illnesses, family problems and stresses that bog us down from keeping our sights focused on the important goals in life.

Another teacher might have simply laid out the policy, stated the deadline and failed her. There are standards that all students have to accept and if circumstances prevent us from completing our assignments then perhaps we were not met to be a teacher, a nurse or a priest.

However, I believe this kind-hearted teacher knew his student, as the Lord knows each of us. This professor wanted her to succeed and graduate. In the same light, God wants us to succeed and gain eternal life. This compassionate professor understood her limitations and instead of failing her or giving up, he could not help himself but firmly kept encouraging her to stay the course. When threatened to lose her status as a matriculating student, he admitted his tactics became firmer with the urgency to complete the dissertation. To his delight, he made his corrections and knew this final work was “the best that she could be.”

I believe that Lord sees us in exactly this same light. With our weaknesses and excesses, he sees that our efforts often do not measure up to the standards we are called upon to practice. We were not married in the “correct form” or our children “came before the wedding” or our faith tradition does not conform to “salvation dogma." Despite these shortcomings, I believe God’s sees only the good in our hearts. Like my dear professor who kept encouraging his student to “do her best.” God knows we are capable of great acts of charity and mercy.

The Lord prays for us as we reflect: “You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great.” (Psalm 18:35).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends who are faced with decisions where they have procrastinated because of weakness. We have put off decisions to quit smoking, or drinking or taking those non-prescribed drugs to ease our emotional pain. Give us your Spirit to know what is “our best” and surrender any desire to control the outcome. Sometimes the best thing we can do when we fall short of our goals is to let God carry us across the finish line.

A Nurse's Heart and Eyes

A woman 36 years old was laying in the intensive care unit with breast cancer. An O2 mask covered her face as she struggled to breathe and say her last words. She had signed the "do not resuscitate" orders and requested only to be kept comfortable in her final hours.

This woman turned to her nurse and whispered to turn off the monitors. There was no need for this nurse to watch the machines. All this patient needed was her nurse’s heart and her eyes. This compassionate clinician had the vision on how to keep her patient comfortable. When the patient winced in pain, she would gently add more drip to ease her discomfort. When her lips appeared dry, this nurse would dip a swab into some cool water to moisturize and soothe her mouth. When the patient made a fist by her side, this nurse took her hand and folded it into her own for strength to let her know that she was not alone.

This nurse had the visceral instincts to know what her patient needed. It was not technology that would help ease the pain in her dying moments, but a compassionate and mindful spirit. She helped to ease her patient’s fears and bring her strength and peace of mind and soul. The prayers were silent but her watchful care shouted praises for her heartfelt skills. She was the answer to her patient’s prayers. This patient never felt alone or abandoned in her final hours. No technology will ever be invented to satisfy this need for human interaction nor comfort the spirit in moments of darkness. Rather, it is only the dedicated heart and eyes of someone trained to be an angel of comfort and peace. We need to bow our heads in thanksgiving for these angels of mercy.

A Sonshine Friend graduated tonight with her fellow nurses and told me how she was looking forward to return to her unit at the Jewish Home. She pledged to be the eyes and heart to three patients who are waiting to meet the Lord. What a blessing she will be to these ladies as they journey to eternal glory with an angel at their side to gently carry them over to Paradise.

Lord pray for us as we reflect: “For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling,” (Psalm 116:8).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends who are healers. The nurses, doctors, nurse practitioners, physician assistants and counselors who heal with their hearts and eyes.

Making A List

Yesterday, during my morning commute to the office, two radio jocks were teasing their listeners and advising all their male buddies “Don’t do it!” Don’t get married, don’t buy a home and don’t have kids. However, these silly announcers fessed up that they are married, own a home and have kids. What’s their point?
It’s lots of work but “it’s worth it!” They asked their audience to share what was their most special memory as a dad. One dad shared taking his son to a World Series ballgame. Then another dad chimed in, holding his first born for the first time. This is the way God created the “male brain.” It travels in circles with all its silliness until it makes a soft landing on the correct runway.

Along with “lots of work” came the profound message that being a dad means, “making a list.” After his morning show, one announcer ran through his list for the day. Replace the rubber mat in the basement, fix a leaky toilet, paint the outdoor porch, repair and clean the grill, and build a dog run. Perplexed, his radio colleague asked: How long have you had the dog? Two years was his friend’s reply. To which his buddy said: “and you think today you’re going to get it all done.” That’s male brain again.

Another dad shared that he was going through some turmoil last week. At his breaking point, on his “to do list” he found himself in the chapel of one of the area hospitals. I wonder if it was the chapel where I celebrated so many prayers for patients and staff? He emailed me that “Prayer” brought him a peace that he had not in some time.

Let me quote: “It washed over me as I sat quietly and asked God to listen. I think that God already knows where I am without asking him to notice, but knowing that I was not alone was very good for me.”

God is praying for you dads who have “too much” on your “to do list.”
Pray and reflect: “Come to me, all (dads) who find life burdensome. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matt 11:29-30.

I recommend that the next time you make your “to do list” don’t forget to list some time with God in prayer to heal your tired bones and weary spirit.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Dads and nurturing fathers whose “job lists” seem endless. When they need a sounding board, you make a difference because before your eyes they are truly “awesome!”

Will I Be Missed?

He was 50 years old when I was born, and a "Mr. Mom" long before anyone had a name for it. I didn't know why he was home instead of Mom, but I considered myself very lucky because he did so many things for me during my grade school years. For example, he always had my lunch ready for me when I came home--usually a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that was shaped for the season. My favorite was at Christmas. The sandwiches would be sprinkled with green sugar and cut in the shape of a tree.

When I went to high school and tried to gain my independence, I wanted to move away from those "childish" signs of his love, but dad didn't give up. Since I was no longer able to go home for lunch, dad would get up a little early and make a lunch for me. I never knew what to expect. There might be a napkin with a heart inscribed with "Dad-n-KK" in its center or an "I love you." Many times he would write a joke or a riddle on it.

I used to hide my lunch so no one would see the napkin, but that didn't last long. One of my friends saw it one day, grabbed it, and passed it around the lunch room. My face was red with embarrassment. To my astonishment, the next day all my friends were waiting to see the napkin. From the way they acted, I think they all wished they had someone who showed them that kind of love. I was so proud to have him as my father.

I left home for college, I missed seeing him every day after school and so I called him a lot. We started a ritual during that first year that stayed with us. After I said good-bye he always said, "K K, I love you." It was during this time that Dad became stricken with cancer. When the letters didn't come, I knew that he had been sick and wasn't able to write.

Those were the hardest days to go through. To watch this man, who always acted so young, age past his years. I was alone with him in his hospital room a couple of days before he died. We held hands and watched TV. As I was getting ready to leave, he said, "KK'” "Yes, Dad?" “Ilove you." "I love you, too, Dad."

I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that one message I wish that I could hammer home to all of you, whether you are fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, aunts, uncles, grandmothers or grandfathers, it is the message of this story: to tell one another "I love you" while you still can

Charity

I read a story about another scandal. It pointed a finger at a friend whom I highly respect. Scandal comes in all shapes and sizes. The consequences for the accused are either prison or bankruptcy. I would prefer to think that the system leads to justice and mercy.

What I admire about this Sonshine friend is their genuine love and respect for all creatures great and small. This kind soul cared for a beautiful German shepherd names Jessie. The dog was a gentle soul like the companion. However, this faithful companion suffered a miserable disease that made the animal incontinent. Embarrassing for any adult who has to cope with this inconvenience, our gentle soul would clean up the messes and never once complained. Sure the disease was a bother, but how often do you perform tasks that no one would touch—“scrubbing the bathroom bowl comes to mind” and never complain.

Our ability to love others beyond the call of duty is tested daily. Taking care of a loved one with dementia, living with a partner who suffers depression, or cleaning up the messes of your sick puppy are not easy chores. Jessie had found a home in which the master looked beyond the inconvenience and loved this animal despite the clutter of “duty.”

We learn in life to step over the messes and look away from the quirks or crazy relatives that you cannot fix. I believe many people dump their mates prematurely thinking that the next relationship will be easier.

Giving up the idea of perfection from your companion and settling for “good enough” is not caving in. It gives you the time to experience the unselfish love that the Lord taught and lived in his daily life. The essence of authentic happiness comes from a willingness to care for the innocence, the unborn, the frail and fragile. When we give strength and hope to others we truly walk in the spirit of God’s love. Cleaning up the messes of your beloved pet, best friend and companion are a way of waling in the light and truth of God’s love. We focus our energy on the more important tasks to cuddle and reassure our best friend that they are not alone in their suffering.

Scandal could turn this compassionate soul to prison despite their plea of innocence. So I called this gentle soul who did not answer their phone and left this message: “ You are and always will be a trusted friend.”

Pray and reflect: “Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD; may your love and your truth always protect me.” Psalm 40:11.

Lord, I pray for all my Sunshine Friends who publicly have been shamed.
Give them strength and courage. It is mercy we desire when we have made our own messes in life. We pray for the victims who have no voice and help them to heal of their wounds.

Black Hole

He only wanted some company so this separated husband called his wife to ask her out not for a date but just to have coffee and a bite to eat. Her answer was “why didn’t you call me earlier in the day, I’m just getting settled to watch some DVD’s?” Angry and disappointed, this lonely husband turns to his other mistress of the past his gambling and drinking addiction and goes on a binge. He says this relationship with gambling never made him happy. Odd thing to say when most treatment says people turn to their addictions of choice to find relief. Instead, this man’s admits that his addiction only him feel worse.

Sometimes, our anger demands that we can’t accept differences from other people. His wife didn’t say I never want to see you again. In fact. the couple was making genuine progress in healing their broken marriage. She only wanted him to accept that for one evening she wanted to chill and do her own thing. Instead anger says, I want…I want…I want… always my way or the highway.

After 45 days of sobriety our lonely man was challenged to resume his sobriety path. He could go back to a meeting or call his sponsor or now he sat in from of me to confess this relapse and it was time to heal.

Lord, there are many dumb decisions we make in a lifetime. However, let us never run away from you when you are calling into our souls to drive out the selfishness and pain and offer your healing and comfort.

Our man promised he would go to gamblers anonymous that night. It was not his first thought after our meeting, but the mistress made another false promise. Just use me whenever you are lonely or afraid and I will bring you relief. She lied again, but he felt only worse, but couldn’t help himself but placed another bet, take another chance or take another sip.

It is only when we surrender of powerlessness that we understand healing begins. So if its mercy you seek when you fail to accept the differences of loved ones and want to run away with your drug to hide and bathe in your self pity. Come back to the Lord and let his power embrace you with his sweet mercy and make you feel whole again.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends who are consumed with their addictions. It might the porn on the internet, or your nicotine or marijuana, or whatever chemical you ingest to forget the black hole you feel you are in. Pray to God to come out of your tomb into his light and experience his peace and calming balm.

Planting Roses

You would think asking your husband to plant a few lovely rose bushes wouldn’t be such a big deal. But it led to one of the worse arguments this couple of 40 years ever had in their history. Such a small request that leads to such a big blow up. Why is this happening Lord?

My poor lady suffers from diabetes and poor vision. She was already losing her sight before this miserable disease and no one not even her husband understands what’s it like to slowly lose your sight. Worse, she had another serious episode when something happened inside her eyes and it was diagnosed as fluid detaching from her retina. Everything looks like “fish scales” and this would make anyone of else anxious and edgy.

Her request to ask her husband to do some gardening was met with the usual promise that he would get to it. But when our depressed, blurred vision lady asked her husband to dig the hole for the bushes, he had more excuses and more important things to attend do. This is when she “lost it.” She felt abandoned, unimportant and alone. When his spouse returned from his chores, he said he was ready to dig the hole and wanted to know how big it should be. She replied, “make the hole as big as you and put yourself it.” Opps!

Lord, our anger gets the best of us whenever we feel that no one understands our pain, our disease, our lonely thoughts. There are many times we are blinded by our own selfishness to get things done our way.

Lead us all away from the blindness that makes love become cold. Help us to see more clearly that requests from a loved one are not about dominance but a genuine need for help and reassurance.

Sometimes we just don’t see as clearly as we think we had hoped. Maybe some drops of kindness and charity would help clear our vision to see that our loved one need us to respond with generosity and kindness.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends who suffer from blindness, cancer, multiple sclerosis, fibromylgia, chronic back pain and all the miseries that make us feel we are in a dark hole and want to scream. Lord, heal and strengthen us in those moments. Come, Spirit rekindle in our hearts the desire to know that you want us to be healed of all our misery and pain.

Walking with the Lord

One time there were two warring tribes in the Andes, one that lived in the lowland and the other high in the mountains. The mountain people invaded the lowlanders one day, and as part of their plundering of the people, they kidnapped a baby of one of the lowlander’s families and took the infant with them back up into the mountains. The lowlanders didn’t know how to climb the mountains. They didn’t know any of the trails that the mountain people used, and they didn’t know where to find the mountain people or how to track them in the steep terrain. Even so, they sent out their best party of fighting men to climb the mountain and bring the baby home.

The men tried first one method of climbing and then another. They tried one trail and then another. After several days of effort, however, they had climbed only a couple of hundred feet. Feeling hopeless and helpless, the lowlander men decided that the cause was lost, and they prepared to return to their village below. As they were packing their gear for the descent, they saw the baby’s mother walking toward them. They realized that she was coming down the mountain that they hadn’t been able to climb. And, they saw that she had the baby strapped to her back. How could this be?

One man greeted her and said, “We couldn’t climb this mountain. How did you do this when we, the strongest and most able men in the village, couldn’t do it?” She shrugged her shoulders and said, “It wasn’t your baby.”

What saved the baby was a mother’s love. What enables us to walk a difficult path is Jesus’ love. When something is important to us we are willing and able to make the walk. Do you want to be made well? Do you want to pursue a life-long dream? Do you want to make an improvement in your life? Do you want your faith to be stronger? Rise, take up your mat and walk!

The 200 plus mothers you asked me to pray for on this Sunday are simply amazing. Whether in heaven or on earth, they made the walk because no one could do it for them. They are our models of walking with the Lord.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends and their mothers and thank you for the love of mothers who believe in us and encourage us to make the walk.

Walk

Last night I visited a retired Sonshine friend who struggles with her multiple sclerosis for the past 20 years. Her doctors would like her to quit smoking. I told her that when she was ready she would quit. However, she said that prescription was not working and she needed a stronger dose—meaning stronger words to make her want to quit! So, I told her “it’s time to quit!” Friday would be the anniversary of her father’s birthday who died of emphysema. It would be her quit day.

I thought that she might refuse. But, she didn’t hesitate. Perhaps she was in so much emotional pain that she was ready to do anything. On the other hand, this friend is a person with a deep faith and she trusted her doctor whom she refers to as Dr. Prozac. Fortunately she accepted the challenge and she is ready to quit smoking.

Jesus challenged the man at Bethzatha to “stand up, take his mat and walk.” “At once the man was made well, and he took up his mat and began to walk.” Unlike my procrastinating friend who waited several years to quit, this man waited thirty-eight years before he could walk. During that time he was just a few yards away from the healing waters of the pool by the Sheep Gate. However, he never made it to the pool.

Since Jesus asked the question, “Do you want to be made well?” the implication is that the man may have been apprehensive. He seemed also to make excuses. “No one would help me,” he said, and “Someone always steps in front of me.” The man was playing the role of victim.

The man beside the pool at Bethzatha was not willing to try. He lay helplessly near the pool that could give him new life. If he reached the swirling waters of the pool he would have the potential to be made well. So why didn’t he try? If he did it meant he would have to change. He could no longer wallow in self pity, having others feeling sorry for him. He was stuck, miserably stuck. No wonder Jesus asked if he wanted to be healed.

Why is it that we fail to try something that can help us? Why is it so hard to quit smoking or change our diets? Why do we refrain from exercise when we know it will make us feel better? Why do we ignore opportunities for travel and relaxation when we know it will refresh us? Why do so many people skip worship when they have found nourishment for the soul in the past?

Perhaps it is the fear of change. Perhaps it is just plain stubbornness. The man in the gospel story saw only obstacles. He was defeated before he even tried. It was not until Jesus confronted him with the question, "Do you want to be healed?" that the man finally gave in.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends and believe that Jesus wants the best for all of us. Sometimes we have to be confronted or challenged in order to be made well. Notice that Jesus didn’t touch the man or lay hands on him. He didn’t say he needed faith to be made well. There was no prayer, no magic. He simply told him to “walk.” My friends, “it’s time to walk…”

Maybe We Need Some Washing

Now I understand a tiny bit better what it means to be a mom. Its 11 pm on a Sunday night and the kettle is simmering with the beans and onions for tonight’s Soup Supper. Tired and exhausted from managing the household, holding down the fort for the daily crises, I don’t know how mothers do it.

On Sunday, I shared the story about a college freshman who struggled with her alcohol addiction. She called on Saturday morning to inform me that she was in trouble with the police. There was this party on Friday night and you get the idea. I asked: "Did you call you mother?" She said she did and I knew that she would be in good hands. I remembered the old Sonshine story about the grandma who was losing her sight. Her grandkids felt sorry for her , but her youngest granddaughter said these profound words: "If God can get grandma through this, He can get us through anything!"

Now some people would laugh and scold this little girl for being silly. Some would just ignore what the she said. But I believe this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.

Honey, her mother said, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If God let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing. Then off mother and daughter ran. The people who witnessed this grace-filled moment stood watching, smiling and laughing as mom and daughter darted past the cars and through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars. Sometimes, we need washing to allow the graces of God to heal us and make us free from our foolish ways.

I can imagine when this mom got the phone call from her daughter about the party, about her troubles with the police, her words of affirmation: were: “Are you alright?” It was time for another washing.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who give thanks for their mothers. No one can comfort us better in our failures. May we forever be grateful for how she mentored us and even disciplined us. Bless her, Lord, and comfort her. Strengthen her when she is down and give her hope when she is discouraged. Most of all, Lord, on this coming Mother's Day, give our mothers the the graces she most needs and desires.

The Power to Choose

One spring afternoon a five-year-old was helping his dad replant some irises along the side of a sunny fence. A neighbor joined them for a few moments. Our young lad pointed to the ground. Look Daddy! What’s that? This dad stopped talking with his neighbor and looked down. A beetle. Our youngster was fascinated and pleased with the discovery of this fancy, colorful creature. The neighbor lifted his foot and stepped on the insect giving his shoe an extra twist in the dirt. That ought to do it, he laughed. The shocked boy looked up at his father, waiting for a reason. That night, just before he turned off his light for bed, our young man whispered to his father. I liked that beetle, Daddy. His father whispered back, I did too. My friends, we have the power to choose.

We have the power to choose how we will respond to every living thing that crosses our path. We have the power to love one another or not.

I am grateful to God daily for the gift of serving as his priest for thirty years. Ministry is a choice and we all have been ordained by the Good Shepherd to serve in many ways. I am aware how well each of you is serving in the following ways…

Parents respond to their daughters who suffer grand mal seizures. A nurse listens to her patient who attempted suicide on a psych unit. A social worker helps an angry child learn to find calm. The NICU nurses offer comfort to their cancer kids. Others bath a bedsore patient. A college student listens to a friend’s tale of family tensions. A retired person volunteers to bike hundreds of miles for a charity. A college student with bone cancer helps change a tire of a patient in my office parking lot. Professors and neighbors are cooking crock-pots of chili to feed hundreds of Brockport students during exam week. Ordinary, non-spectacular, run-of-the-mill behavior. But love has been chosen. These people “have laid down their loves,” have “died to self.” In short, they have loved as Jesus did, which means they chose to pay the cost.

Authentic love costs. It cost parents, nurses, professors, students and Jesus. The banner at my first Mass said: “This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you.” Well done, my friends.

Lord, I promise to continue to pray for all my Sonshine Friends who daily lay down their lives for their friends. My Anniversary Blessing upon you all for good health, wealth and happiness. May this blessing dissolve all negativity in your life and find only peace.

Blistered Hands

I was working in the garden in my iris bed. Last year, these flowers did not bloom. I was told to check for bores that get inside the root and destroy the flower. Digging through the soil was a chore that soon left blisters on my hands. The soil was hard, rocky and filled with roots from the nearby maple tree. The irises needed room to breath and I had neglected to turn over the soil and add compost which would help the irises to grow once again.

In the tragedy of Virginia Tech, how should we respond? What is the wisdom we need to gleam after this violence which simply brings to my mind the “meanness in the world.” I had witnessed this meanness in NYC after 9/11. Everyday, “meanness” smothers life. It might be more violence in Iraqi, or genocide in Darfur, or the death of an infant in NICU.

How shall we respond to meanness in our world? I would say mostly with a challenge. To do more to help the suffering. To speak up against intolerance. To organize. To protest. To write letters. To make a difference.

One thing we are good at as pastors, rabbis and pastoral ministers is knowing how to use words. Personally, I prefer to use visual images. A Virginia Tech or a Brockport or RIT student might ask how to deal with the heartbreak that “meanness” causes in the world. It might be the heartbreak of losing a family member – like your grandfather or for a patient of mine—her grandson.

I say, remember your loved ones. Remember their stories, remember their smile . . . And help those who suffer now, people you don’t know. By helping them overcome their suffering, and you will overcome your own.

Sometimes students want to know which “meanness” should they pick among the many causes in the world. Choose one, choose any one, then, inevitably, that will lead to others. For each “meaness” think of the tears the person left behind such as the parents of those who died at Virginia Tech or in NYC on 9/11, or in Sudan.

Jesus said: “I have come to bring you peace.” Many people might scream at God after such “meanness” and ask where is your love? Why is there so much suffering in the world?

I think our role in life is to go around the world and collect these tears and bring their cause to the world.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who suffer from the “meanness” in their life. Help us to choose a cause: a CROP Walk, or cooking dinner for students during Exam Week or helping our local migrants, or serving food to the poor, or praying with parents of their dying child. Pour out your healing salve to anoint our “blistered hands” which hurt from digging through the meanness in the earth. Help us to grow with Your compassionate love.

Something Beautiful

Last night, I thanked our college students for coming to Mass on such a “cruddy night.” A storm warning predicted lots of snow in April, and it was damp and raining and just plain miserable.

After the resurrection. the friends of Jesus were most likely feeling cruddy. Locked behind closed doors, they stumbled around for answers. Thomas appears to be feeling the worse holding a grudge against Jesus that he failed to keep his promise to make them leaders of his kingdom. Rather, their leader died in shame.

How many grudges do you hold against God because things have not gone your way? We remember only the cruelties of being mocked in school, or ridiculed by others, the dishonesty of colleagues, the insensitivity of our partner, the ingratitude of our children.

Then Jesus comes knocking at our door, or rather simply comes inside the room filled with a bunch of miserable, cruddy feelings. “Peace be with you,” he says and next proceeds to tell Thomas to touch him so that he might believe. Actually, the real miracle you might have missed is that Jesus forgives us when we blame Him for all our troubles. “I come to bring you peace.”

Did you know that God is trying to shape you. To do so He must remove from you all that does not look like Him—the cruddy parts of our life like impatience and grudges. Created in His image, we have a lot of baggage that needs to be removed. I speak of the things that separate us from the Lord.

Peace comes in “giving the problem" to Him. It is indeed true that God is shaping us from one image to another. In fact that is what He says. "I am changing you from one image to another." Sometimes the effects of the chisel hurts - but the results is "something beautiful"

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are feeling rather “cruddy” on a stormy morning. Sometimes we think no one appreciates or understands our efforts. By your “divine mercy” let us be transformed into “something beautiful.”