It
was cold, snowy Sunday and only ten people showed up for church. This is a story I wanted you to hear. Two older people started walking slowly, carefully up the aisle.
The entire way up the aisle, they never stopped holding each others hands, and
as they passed pew upon pew of people, you could see how their eyes were
filling with tears.
When
they arrived at the foot of the altar, I asked them how many years they had
been married – the wife responded “60 years ago today.” I followed up
asking “where did you get married?” and the wife proudly responded “Right
here,” as she pointed her finger to the floor marking the very spot in front of
the altar where they had stood all those decades earlier. I was surprised
and said “You’ve been here in this parish for 60 years?” and they simply nodded
their heads as the wife said “we’ve been here together every week since we were
married.” What was even more moving was that as they began to renew their
wedding vows, no one could take their eyes off this couple as they lovingly
held each others hands, but could barely look at each other as they tried
holding back tears as they said to each other once again “I take you to be my wife… my husband… I
promise to be true to you in good times and in bad; in sickness and in health…
I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.”
Listening
to them, you couldn’t help but wonder what must be going through their minds –
what had they lived through? What struggles which must have seemed
insurmountable at times had they conquered; what joys and moments of pride,
what sleepless nights of worry over their children had they endured? What
twists and turns, ups and downs did they encounter? How often did they
think “I don’t think I can do this anymore” – but somehow found the
unconditional grace of God to strengthen their resolve to try once again?
So
often whenever the Church speaks of family life, I think there’s this erroneous
impression that it automatically implies that perfection is expected out of
every marriage. And that’s why this feast can be a bit off putting for so
many people. Just the title, “The Holy Family” seems like a really high
bar to measure ourselves up to. Exacerbating the fact that so many people
have had painful family circumstances – abusive, dysfunctional, destructive and
unhealthy relationships – all of this sadly results in the beautiful institution
of marriage being another area where many people, understandably feel
disconnected from our faith…
But
a more practical understanding for unmarried and married couples is a call not to perfection, but to faith…
which is often times the complete opposite of perfection.
Joseph
and Mary expressed astonishment, doubts, and fear to their invitations and
directions from the Lord. Yet somehow in the midst of all those
questions, all those worries, all those challenges – they much like that couple
renewing their marital vows after 60 years, held each others hands, trying to
maintain faith in each other and in God… so much so that in hindsight, they
almost couldn’t believe any of what they were able to endure was ever
possible.
No
matter what our personal family stories have told us to this point… whether
we’re married or we’ve never been married, suffered divorce, or
experienced a myriad of challenges that’s a mix of all of the above – the
beauty of this glorious Christmas feast reminds us that Jesus willingly enters
into all of this human messiness that can be found in every family because of
His love for us. In Jesus’ birth, God entered into human history in a
unique and profound way – and human history changed forever after that.
That
doesn’t make us perfect here and now… but it does inspire us to hold on to a
faith in which everything and everyone is transformed in the love of our God
who humbles himself to become one of us, so that one day we might become like
him for all eternity.