Newman at its Best!

Just before an exam, literally some shared 15 minutes before their next exam at night, our Brockport College students walk from their dorms to the Newman House to take part in a wonderful tradition. Our generous and talented parishioners have cooked a variety of tasty meals from veggie soups to chili to mac and cheese, topped with a multitude of desserts to tank up before their studies. The students pass the word that free eats are available from 5 to 7 during exam week. As you see from this photo, this team was satisfied and posed for Fr. Matt to say "thank you" for your wonderful generosity and delicous food. They told me to say "keep it comin" they will be back tonight!.

On behalf of the Newman staff and myself, I want to thank each and every parishioner at Newman for your wonderful spirit of love that shows Chirst's love for all students. They promised to be back tonight and tomorrow!!! Fr. Matt

Is This Your Best?

A mother shared the story about her teenage son who had received his driving permit. When she returned from taking a walk, she noticed that the family van was not parked in its usual position. The radio was tuned to a rock station and the driver’s seat had been moved to a different position. When she asked her son if he had driven the family van for a spin without permission, her son wanted to know how she knew he had driven it to his friends to show off that he had received his driving permit.

This mom gave her son the riot act telling him that he could have caused an accident or worse hurt someone for life due to lack of experience. In addition, if the police caught him it would have cost the family thousands of dollars for legal fees and fines.

Mom knew her son was not perfect but she believed in him despite his foolish pranks that later took another turn for the worse. One day her son was caught with his buddy targeting their air guns at an official post office truck. The furious postman rang the front door that his truck was being vandalized by their prank and he was ready to call 911. Once again, this mom had to muster all her restraint for not killing these boys. Rather, she pointed out the harm they could have caused by injuring the postman in the truck. She kept their foolishness a secret, for their dad would never had let it go. Mom put her son on some serious restrictions to let him know that his behavior was not acceptable to say the least-this was not his best.

How many times did your mom catch you--not at your best? You pretended that it was only a joke-no harm done-but you were really not thinking about the consequences at the time. You tested your mother’s patience. However, instead of degrading you, she would follow the example of Jesus and let you know that you were capable of being a much more thoughtful, kind and responsible young person.

On our journey of life as we were growing up, there were many ups and downs, in which we tested our mother’s patience. Yet, she believed and saw the good inside of us even though our emotions stretched her to her limits.

Our moms had many expectations for our own lives. However, as we progressed or regressed, many of those expectations that she originally had for us remain unfulfilled. Our lives have moved in directions that we would never have guessed, almost as if they were being guided by something that is beyond us. We can respond to this unexpected direction in either of two ways: the way that the disciples did, with disillusionment because our expectations have not been met, or with contentment, because we know that there is a greater force at work, the spirit of a mother who knows the best version that we can be if we only trust in her.

So how do we achieve this contentment, this feeling of safety in the midst of all the adversity which life throws at us? We can achieve this contentment by realizing that Christ has stayed with us, just as our mother stayed by our side when we did our foolish pranks.

When we feel overwhelmed by life, when we feel that we just can't go on, when we feel all alone, we need to realize that we are not alone, that Christ and our moms are still with us.

But there is more. In the depths of our despair, we need to reach back into our faith that came to us from our mothers and see that she has provided us with a wonderful gift of faith that continues to help us get through some pretty tough times.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me. “ (Matthew 25:40).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends mothers who believed in us through thick and thin. Bless these faithful women who gave us new life and a faith to help us in our daily journey. With a bouquet of flowers to place by their side or near their grave, may our prayer of gratitude rise to heaven for their many sacrifices, tender love and forgiving hearts. Blessed Mothers’ Day to all our Sonshine mommies

Thumbs Up

A Sonshine Friend had come to see me before Easter to share her sorrow over the recent death of her dad. Her father had suffered from mental illness all his life. After the death of her mother, his depression grew worse. He had often talked about suicide, but one morning she received a phone call from the police and her worse fears were realized. He had shot himself and left a note that police reported they had never seen such a well-organized suicide in their life.

She had prayed to God to help her dad during these years and now she feared about his soul. She knew the rules and wondered if God would ever forgive her father for taking his life.

I shared a story about my experience as a hospital chaplain when I was asked to find out the progress of a patient. Due to privacy laws, the medical staff has to maintain the privacy of information for each patient under their care. I understand and uphold this same integrity in the seal of confession, but at the time I was simply trying to learn if the patient was making progress. The nurse on call simple response was a “thumbs up.” I was grateful for her kindness that the patient was getting better and on their way home.

Our young daughter was suffering the death of her father and worse feared that he might be lost forever. Once again, I needed to remind her that the Resurrection is not about why there is suffering but that Jesus comes to redeem us from our fears, the worse fear is about death. So when I was asked what did I think happened to her dad. I simply gave her the “thumbs up” and she started to cry. She realized that the God she has always prayed to would be compassionate and take her father home to heaven.

Heaven knows we need more “thumbs up” gestures in a church that often times get blamed for damning too many people as not acceptable in the community. The end result is that there are many souls waiting to be admitted into the community of saints, but never felt welcomed by their churches. God save us from our arrogance and need for power.

Jesus invites us into the empty tomb to experience his light of life. That’s the Easter message, a “thumbs up” loving gesture that Jesus came to save us from our fears of sins, unworthiness or that we are not acceptable. In my community, all are welcomed and in God’s eyes he looks forward to the day when we will humbly walk with Our Lord into His wonderful garden of Paradise.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: "Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” (Luke 22:43).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends during the Easter Season who need the reassurance that they are making progress in their spiritual journey. However despair or rejection take root, be reassured that the divine gardener comes along to offer you a “thumbs up” that all will be saved by the grace and power of His love. Alleluia!

Jelly Bean Prayer

Once upon a time, on Good Friday morning, I found a small zip-lock bag with eight jellybeans of assorted colors in my mailbox. The “Jelly Bean Prayer” was locked inside a plastic bag. There being no postage attached to the bag, a neighbor had left this Easter gift with the hope that each mouthful would be accompanied by a reflection of God’s goodness. I confess some disappointment that could my neighbor not reflect on God’s goodness with a solid chocolate Easter bunny from Andy’s Candies?

That jellybean bag was left unopened on my office desk. As I prepared to celebrate the Good Friday service, my eyes kept going back to that locked bag of colorful reminders of God’s goodness. The bag remained zipped tight; it was a strict day of fast.

On Holy Saturday, the beanbag was still sitting on my desk. Eight colorful reminders of God’s goodness zipped tight in plastic. While the morning sun poured through the window, outside sparrows were chirping anticipating the joy of the Resurrection feast, their songs as colorful as these jellybeans.

Throughout the day I was preparing for the Holy Saturday service and my Easter Sunday homily. I needed words to inspire and uplift, words to bring people out of the dark and into the light. Mostly, I thought about the many people I have counseled throughout the years and their pain and suffering. My mind was blank and my heart empty and my eyes kept focusing on that bag of jellybeans.

Then God struck with a revelation; I was no longer in darkness and needed inspiration and uplifting! That bag of candy was transformed, no longer jellybeans but it represented all the good things God has given me and my Sonshine Friends and yet to come. And here God’s gift sits on my desk, sealed, zipped tight, locked away from my experience. I could hear Him ask me, “What the matter with you Matt, do you not see?”

I looked out the open window, drawn by bird songs and sight of turkey and deer. Why would I choose to stay inside when the signs of Resurrection are outside? Why do I keep the reminders of God’s goodness so tightly shut away inside my life? I’ve been so often content with knowing that birds are singing in the glorious outside while I shut myself inside. I’ve been content with knowing that God’s good things are within my grasp –yet I leave them just beyond my reach—never actually experiencing them. It’s sometimes easier to remain in the cold, dark tomb then to come out into the sun, sensing this new life!

The very first thing I’m going to do on Easter Sunday is to pop one of those jellybeans into my mouth maybe yellow (for His sun is so bright) or pink (for a new tomorrow). And after I savor the first one, I’m going to meditate on the others as they follow the route of the first one. Then I’m going to pray for more jellybeans. To be open to the signs of God’s goodness everyday in my life.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: "For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life.” Psalm (56:13).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends on Easter Day that they rejoice in your goodness. As we munch on our jellybeans, white for His grace, pink for a new tomorrow. may we know it WILL happen because it already DID happen. Alleluia!

The Joy of Spring

On Saturday, I took my first walk into the woods in search of Spring. It was muddy and the leaves from last Fall make the trek slick. I wandered into an area with a stream, but the harsh light of the morning sun washed out any interesting detail. I was looking for a bouquet of colors, but my journey would take me to something much more sublime.

The professional photographer is looking for some punch and color that sets his image apart. However, the landscape was still drab and dreary from a long, harsh winter until you looked in another direction. Indeed, if you looked down through the woods, you could see pockets of green breaking up through the ground.

The leaves of unknown flowers were just beginning to peek out of the earth. I’m not versed in native plants, yet another book to read, but I fell to my knees and started to notice that the earth was brimming with new life. The mosses and fungi were clinging to the logs and though not spectacular, they made interesting patterns and designs that I will upload during the week for your meditation.

No crocus or hyacinths in a forest, but there were plenty of signs of trout lily, jack in the pulpit and native grasses. Plants have their own identities and souls, along with divine purpose and goals; however, their goals are much simpler than ours?

I believe their goal in this new incarnation is to feel the Joy of Spring! To you this may seem frivolous, but to the native plants, it is everything. It is all they know, all they yearn for, and all that they live for. The life of any plant is nothing if not for Spring.

It all began with a seed, and this seed was watered and nurtured by the sun and the earth, so that the plants may come and experience the Joy of Spring. This is all they want, this is all they will be, and this is simply perfect and divine, at least for each plant. But with Spring comes the power for new growth to sprout through the earth and soar into the heavens. Is this not our essence, to rise from the earth and join our Creator in the Garden of Paradise.

The Joy of Spring means drinking up the morning dew, quenching our thirst and feeling the breath of life move through our being. Then as the seasons progress, we spread our essence of selfless love, making it possible for our descendants to experience the Joy of Spring.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: "Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the peepers (frogs) can be heard in the fields.” (Song of Solomon 2:12).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who have broken through the crushed barriers of selfishness and rise above the need for power. May we share our essence that brings much joy and new life.

Whose Fault Is It?

I am learning how to use new software to tweak my images. More truthfully, I failed to shoot correctly and I now have the tools to correct my mistakes. Case in point, I have a close-up of a ladybug crawling up a lilac flower. It was an instantaneous moment when from the corner of my eye I saw this red speckled creature moving on the leaf. Was the wind blowing, did my camera shake—most likely all of the above. With a few clicks of the mouse my new software can correct the blur but not perfectly.

A couple sits down in the doctor’s office, waiting for the report. They have been trying for two years to get pregnant, with no success; now, they want to know why. Last week they came in for the battery of tests that will begin to give them some answers, but as the doctor sees the tension in their faces, how they are unable to look at one another or hold hands, the doctor knows how the couple is framing their questions:

• Is she the one—is it her inability to conceive?
• Is he the one—is his sperm count too low?
• Is it her organs that are malfunctioning?
• Is it his stress that is interfering?

The doctor opens the folder and takes a deep breath. The question hangs heavy in the air: Whose fault is it, that we cannot have a baby?

Maybe it’s human instinct, to find fault. My poor camera technique, the wind was blowing, the ladybug moved. Maybe it’s a coping mechanism. If we know whose fault it is, at least we have a way to understand what has happened. At least we have a way to explain our part in it. Even better, we may find a way to excuse our part in it—which is to say, to put the responsibility squarely on another’s shoulders. If our only job is to find out whose fault it is, we can be assured of some retributive satisfaction: someone will pay for what goes wrong.

Do you see this, where you are? When the basement floods, when you had a car accident, when the Sonshine reflection falls flat, why are we so quick to ask, "How could this have happened?" And when we determine whose fault it was, why does the fault-finding so quickly turn to blame?

Remember the gospel story about the man poor blind? The disciples asked Jesus whose to blame. They’re just curious. They really want to know: Who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind? It’s a fair question for disciples to ask of their teacher, given the theological equations of the day (blindness = sickness = sin = human fault).

It’s a fair question for Jesus’ disciples to ask, given the fact that Jesus keeps turning the theological tables. I think the disciples really are open to the possibility that there might be a new and different answer, here. They really want Jesus to teach them. So who sinned, Jesus?—this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?

Jesus’ answer stumps everyone, and it stumps me. No one sinned. He was born blind so that God’s works might be revealed in him. No blame. No fault. Just an opportunity for God to be seen and known.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: "Who is like the wise? Who know the explanation of things? A person’s wisdom brightens their face and changes its hard appearance.” (Ecclesiastes 8:1).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are looking for answers to put the blame on someone for our misfortunes when we might better ask ourselves what is God doing? Jesus changes the subject and wants us to ask ourselves-how can I help? It’s no one’s fault. Let God be God. Let we who are blind be healed.

Is This a Good Time?

Sometimes, our friends say things that come across a little too harsh. A family member comments that our home smells like pet odor. We get annoyed and want to tell her to mind her own business or better yet tell her that she has no clue how to take care of her animals. Things quickly get out of control. When is it a good time to sit down with your soul mate, colleague or friend and have a candid conversation about things that really irk you?

Jesus was outraged when the moneychangers were milking the folks to pay the Temple tax. For him, it was the gouging, the exorbitant rates, the fleecing of the pilgrims that got to him. It was the holiest of places yet! The Temple had become a veritable mall of ATM’s, a circus of noise and transactions. Jesus was merely acting in the ways of the prophets of old. Prophetic anger is what Jesus was showing, outrage at what should be not, but was, God’s honor and God’s people should not be treated like that.

This incident tells us something about Jesus, and something about ourselves. I believe people are measured by what angers them. True, anger can be dangerous. But anger that leads to reform, transformation and making ourselves into the best version of who we can be be is a respectable and desirable emotion.

We are judged by what angers us and what does not. Anger can become the Lenten energy that motivates us and forms the basis of reflective questions for this season. Such as: We get angry if we get stalled behind a slow moving vehicle and miss the first episode of our favorite TV show. But are we angry over our unemployed neighbors, or our young people not getting subsidies to help with college? The massacre in Libya, the massive greed of corporate executives and our leaders in government.

Are we angry that our seniors will not get a cost-of-living increase this year? Over the graphic violence and lack of respect for women in the media, the corruption of sports, the growing chasm between the very rich and very poor?

Are we just merely disgusted, a feeling that stays within us, but really angry, that moves us into action? Are we angry over our own buying into the culture’s norm of success: high consumption, low reflection, fierce competition, and tepid cooperation? Are we angry over our selfishness and petty jealousies, our picayune lying and cheating, our lack of a generous spirit, our failure to develop a truly spiritual life?

I don’ t know if you ever looked at it this way before, but Lent might be the season to get angry enough to overturn old tables and set up new ones. Which new ones might we set up? Here’s a sample of my Monday's night's Lenten Penance Service Lenten reflection.

Love the things that are worth loving. Some things are not worth loving, like SUVs, trucks, celebrities, or our addiction to the “screen” meaning our computers, cell phones and plasmas, or flirting with a temptation that comes in all shapes and sizes, colors and prints. The things worth loving are family, faith, God, Jesus, friend, neglected kitties, dogs and horses.

Strive for integrity of character, meaning I will not do anything to compromise my integrity. I will not yell and scream at anyone, always have it my way or the highway, engage in self-destructive behavior like drinking, drugs, gambling and overusing my prescription medicines. I won’t cheat on exams or my income taxes. I won’t do anything to get ahead or gain the whole world at the expense of my soul.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: "Trust in him at all times; pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.” (Psalm 62:8).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that you help surrender the anger that blinds us from your patient and understanding love. Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those you trespass against us and give us the insight to humbly turn ourselves over to you.

Mycorrhizae

Mycorrhizae are fungi. What is truly amazing is that these fungi help trees to grow healthy and strong. Think of mycorrhizae as tiny fibers that actually grow into the roots of trees. The tree roots and fungi become one. These fungi act as special assistants that creep into the soil particles and help the roots of the trees to absorb more water and nutrients.

On the other hand, fungi cannot make their own protein, but since the leaves of the trees are making sugars from photosynthesis, the sugars travel throughout the tree to its roots and the fungi get their protein. The fungus receives carbohydrates and vitamins from the tree and they reciprocate by breaking down the proteins in organic material that can be absorbed and utilized by the trees. The network of mycorrhizae in the soil vastly increases the potential surface area for absorption over and above the root’s own root hairs, so mycorrhizae are important in poor soils where mineral nutrients are hard to come by. So this Spring as you are planning to plant any trees into your garden, you can improve the health and growth of your plants by adding some mycorrhizae.

Our souls and personality are greatly enriched when we are connected to people that act like mycorrhizae who help us to grow in God’s love. Staying connected helps our spiritual roots to grow healthier and stronger. So who are the people in your life that help you spiritual roots grow in patience, generosity and forgiveness?

Staying connected to our older family members help us to appreciate our ancestral roots whose faith helped build our churches and schools in the past. Staying connected to family members who have endured great pain and struggles teach us to trust in God and persevere despite the crosses of life.

Our spiritual roots grow stronger if we stay connected with a faith community that worships and rallies together to reach out to families to bring hope and comfort to those who have lost their homes in foreclosure, lost a child to suicide or lost their faith because they no longer feel accepted by a faith community.

Staying connected to our spiritual mentors who teach us from our pulpits or monasteries a message of Jesus’ love that penetrates our stubborn hearts and helps our roots of faith renew themselves with the spirit of God’s love and forgiveness.

I am grateful to my social mentors who have enriched my life by sharing their gifts and talents with this apprentice priest. To my master floral designer, Michael; to my first photography teacher, Owen; to my fellow photo enthusiasts, Brandon, Glen and John, to my photo marketing team Ed, Bill, Lara, Lisa; to my horse trainers Judy in Vermont, Heather, Alto and to my bread baker, Chet.

The secret of a healthy spiritual garden is obvious, stay connected to people in our life who teach us how to pray humbly, walk joyfully and work diligently to bring God’s mercy and peace. Our roots will be energized and grow stronger this Lenten Season.Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: "They will be like a tree planted by the water that spends out roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” (Jeremiah 17:8).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that you help us remember with gratitude the family, friends and neighbors who have helped our spiritual roots to grow healthy and strong. May we never take their gifts for granted. Bless them for their generosity, wisdom and support during our most difficult moments and many thanks for being present in our desperate hour.

Reflections

A few years ago researchers at Stanford investigated how college students multitasked. They assumed they did it much more effectively than older adults. The researchers expected to find highly tuned cognitive abilities that allowed effective multitasking. What they actually found was that the more people multitasked, the worse at it they were.

They were worse at identifying relevant information, more distractable, and more disorganized. They even became worse at what multitasking is supposed to help with: switching tasks seamlessly. Multitasking, they concluded, impairs one’s ability to think reflectively. Such reflection is about thinking long enough on a topic to weigh a number of ideas. That can’t be done in 30-second bytes while also updating a Facebook page, changing the playlist on an iPod, or watching the latest cute cat video on YouTube.

As we thaw from a brutal winter, I am designing my garden. It requires some thought on what native plants I want to blossom for floral designs in the future. As different varieties of plants blossom at different seasons of the year, we need to reflect on how we want to blossom this Lent.

I think we suffer, if not from multitasking itself, certainly from the spirit of multitasking. Like Martha in Luke 10:41-42a (“Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part.”), we become so distracted by the busyness of our lives that we do not make the time to think reflectively and prayerfully on our life and actions. It is not that we do not have the time. Of course we do. It is that we often lack the courage to live into such a prayerful and reflective relationship with God.

A traditional Lenten practice that we often neglect due to our multitasked, blackberried, and instant-messaged culture is reflection. As a gardener and floral designer who wants to use these blossoms to make beautiful bouquets, I need to reflect quietly on what I want to plant and grow. This morning take time to reflect on this Spring image of ice thawing in a creek and spent a quiet moment to reflecting on how God wants you to grow in the spirit of love this season.

We need to step back, gain perspective, listen to others, and spend time in solitude so we can think reflectively and prayerfully. Such reflective time is a necessary precursor to making our lives blossom. We must be able to think and see clearly before we can lead and act faithfully. In Mark 8:23-25, we read, “Jesus laid hands on the blind man and asked: ‘Can you see anything?’ And the man looked up and said, ‘I can see people, but they look like trees walking.’ Then Jesus laid his hands on his eyes again; and he looked intently and his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly.”

When we do not make the time for solitude so we can think reflectively and prayerfully, we often end up seeing “trees walking” and not the people, things, and circumstances of our lives that truly matter. Like with the blind man in the gospel, we need more time for Jesus to work on us, for the needed time to listen to the Holy Spirit in our daily prayers and in the prayers of our community.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: “For now we see only as a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” (1 Corinthians 13:12).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that during this Season of Lent we make time to reflect and come to know your will so that all our daily tasks may truly reflect your wisdom and love.

Blossoming

What does it mean to blossom? For a plant, a tree, or a vegeatable, it’s the point at which a flower forms. What we sometimes forget in our love for flowers is that it is really just a stage of growth that leads to pollination, and thus bearing fruit.

Blossoming could be compared to that part of our youth when we found our soul mates and produce our fruits and thus our little seeds (children!). But more often it seems as if there should be many blossoming moments in our lives, when the conditions are right for us to burst from our tight buds and become our most beautiful best selves.

Too often, we find ourselves consumed by petty irritations, conflicts, frustrations, and angers. Each of these might be small in itself but, cumulatively, they take the sunshine and delight out of our lives, like mosquitoes spoiling a picnic. Instead of feeling grateful, gracious, and magnanimous, we feel paranoid, fearful, and irritable and we end up acting out of a cold, irritated, paranoid part of ourselves rather than out of our real selves.

Why do we do that? Because we are asleep (a long, brutal winter does this to people) to who and what we really are, and we are asleep in two ways.When St. Luke describes Jesus’ agony in the garden, he tells us that after Jesus had undergone a powerful drama, sweating blood so as to give his life over in love, he turned to his disciples (who were supposed to be watching and praying with him) and found them asleep. However he uses a curious expression to describe why they were asleep. They were asleep, he says, not because they were tired and it was late, but they were asleep “out of sheer sorrow”.

That says a couple of things: First, that the disciples are asleep out of depression. Depression is what is preventing them from seeing straight. But they are also asleep to what is deepest inside of them, namely, that they carry the image and likeness of God. Jesus was not asleep to that and, because of this awareness, was able precisely to be big of heart.

As a people of God we believe that what ultimately defines us and gives us our dignity is the image and likeness of God inside us. This is our deepest identity, our real self. Inside each of us there is a piece of divinity, a god or goddess, a person who carries an inviolable dignity, with a heart as big as God’s.

And so it is in a garden. Think about it: What are the conditions we humans need to blossom? Just like plants, we need good nutrition, clean water and tender are. We need sunshine and darkness (good rest). We need to be planted in the right place to optimize our happiness. And once we do blossom, we need the pollinators and the people to enjoy and appreciate our beauty.

In our spiritual garden we need to awake to our great dignity, the Imago Dei inside each of us, is meant to be a center from which we can draw vision, grace, and strength to act in a way that, ironically, precisely helps us to swallow our pride and blossom.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: “The desert and the parched land will be glad or Western New York version (The snow covered streets and frozen earth will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom. Like the crocus,” (Isaiah 35:1).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that during this Season of Lent we feel ourselves about to blossom, knowing that something is happening inside of us because we are in touch that we “come from God and going back to God.” It’s like spiritual pollination, bringing joy, understanding, forgiveness and love, beyond wound, irritation, and the knowledge that’s it’s good to be alive because the spirit of the divine dwells within me.

Learn from the Wild Flowers

It’s Sunday morning and grandma is playing with her 5-year-old granddaughter on the living room carpet. This little one’s mom is also present listening carefully to her mother’s advice on getting the best educational resources for her daughter. It appears I am in the room of a living miracle. Our “little one” had a missing chromosome that the doctors said would result in a child who would never speak or walk. The early years of her life required feeding tubes and a host of complicated medical procedures. Yet, this morning with the love of her parents and family and a determined grandmother who never quits this child has the ability to walk, speaks and even swims like a fish. Sometimes grandmothers are God’s gift to us when our burdens seem too heavy.

God wants to help you with your burdens. Now, no doubt you know that. I know that. But last week I found myself in a situation where I was not letting God carry my burden. I had "given it to Him" with mental ascent, but actually I had taken it back right after I had given it to Him.

Does this sound familiar with you? This morning I like you to remember the words Jesus said, "Come unto me all of you who are laboring and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." (Matt. Ll: 28)

I don’t know why it is, but when faced with some heavy situations I say, "God, well you have told me to bring my burdens to you, so here they are. (And I would list 5 or 6.) Then I get up from my chair and walk to the door.....free? NO. Why because I find myself "chained to them" I have "tied them" to my very being. So, in fact, I lied to Jesus when I told him I was leaving my burdens with him. How could Jesus take care of them when I, as if it were, "pulled" them away from his loving tender strong arms?

So, I have found myself much like the farmer who was going along the country road in his buckboard when he overtook a fellow who was walking - with great difficulty - with a very heavy bundle. He asked the man if he wanted a ride and if so, hop in. The traveler got into the buckboard, sat down very tired and put his heavy bundle in his lap. "I'm caring you," said the farmer, but "you are still carrying your burden."

Jesus our burden bearer has asked us to come to him with our cares, yet we fail to do so. We suffer - spiritually, physically. Let us throw it all on Him - be free of that which plagues us with fear and torment.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: " Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin. But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them. If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you…” (Matthew 6:28-30).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that they be set free from the burdens that weigh them down. Let them give to you that which has been a concern so that they can straighten up in you...load free.

Heaven's Language of Love

Last Sunday, I witnessed the baptism of three miracle babies. Trevor, Emma and Ella were born pre-mature and struggled in the early hours of life to survive. But with lots of prayers and blessings and the gifts of a brilliant medical team they are all thriving as they received the waters of everlasting life at their baptism.

Their young mother described her delight in watching her new babies awake to more awareness. Her words: “They are all beautiful. Each baby is starting to vocalize a bit and smiles a lot when we talk to them.” This morning, while her five year-old son was having breakfast, he looked into Trevor’s eyes and said: ‘Are you talking to me?’ Little Trevor replied with something that sounded like ‘yeah!’ His brother was so excited - ‘Mommy, he talked!’ Mom didn’t have the heart to tell him that it was just a random utterance.”

Now this is a wonderful image, I believe, to describe what it will be like for each of us when we are born again into heaven. The maternal side of God will be looking us in the eyes, smiling, and trying to coax a smile and some words out of us, but we will be a bit too overwhelmed and underdeveloped to speak.

Heaven is going to be wonderful, no doubt. I believe we will wake up in heaven, like an infant again, too overwhelmed to speak, needing to be coaxed into a new language and a new consciousness by God’s smile.

We will have to try to learn the language of God’s stillness and divine quiet, in our own way. For me, walking in two feet of snow in quiet woods brings me into focus with this stillness. Perhaps it might be through your intimate relationships in your family, where words become superfluous; or perhaps a parent’s exhaustion changing the diapers of your triplets, or it will be in our loneliness and solitude, where silence breaks through both so painfully and peacefully; or maybe it will be through the very tediousness of our daily tasks, where burdens often reduce us to silence. There are many ways of learning divine silence and all of them are good.

Jesus told us that each of us needs to be born twice, once from below and once from above. We need also to be taught twice how to speak. Our mothers once gave us birth, from below, and they also coaxed, cajoled, and lured us into speech. Each of us has a “mother-tongue.”

Our second birth, our rebirth, our birth from above, will, I suspect, be somewhat similar. There will be time of having to leave the womb, the familiar, this life, and then a lonely journey down an unwanted birth canal into the greatest of all unknowns. Light, love, and community will greet us upon arrival. However it will be somewhat overwhelming, beyond language and imagination. We will be too stunned to speak, but God’s smile will awaken within us a smile and evoke from us something that sounds like a “yeah!”

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: "What eye has not seen, and ear has not heard, and what has not entered the human heart, what God has prepared for those who love him.” (1Cor 2:9).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are leaving the womb of this life. May their journey into the unknown be filled with loving family and friends at their side. Too stunned to speak, may God’s smile wipe away all our fears and from our lips a sound like a “yeah” that proclaims our faith and endless joy.

Healing Silence

My assignment was to take an image that portrays silence. Walking through a foot of snow as the flakes were gently drifting to the ground was a moment of grace and sheer exhaustion. I wonder if the path to silence entails a journey in which we are so exhausted by the demands of life that we simply “fall still.”

As I meander through the woods following the trail of the deer I come upon a creek winding through the forest. The snow has covered the banks of the water and I need to be watchful so that I do not put my foot into the freezing water.

It is absolutely still. The snow continues to accumulate on the ground and create a tapestry of beauty on the rocks and limbs below that have fallen into the creek. It is a moment to simply watch and listen to the silence. Even put the camera down for a moment and allow the surrounding beauty to heal the wounds of busyness.

Perhaps, this is what it means to commune with the Lord. To empty oneself from all our worries that make us tense throughout the day and allow our bodies and souls to drink in this healing silence.

There has been a lot on our minds that stretch us to our limits. The fear is that we will break under all this tension and our hearts and bodies will become weak and ill under this stress.

Now is a moment to find our balance, to humbly come before the Lord and surrender our despair and allow God’s grace found in this cold and desolate place to heal the wounds of all our despair.

O Blessed are you who are poor… O Blessed are you who mourn… for in these moments when we can easily become bitter and cynical- maybe even throw in the towel, Our Lord shows us another way.

In this silence, we find the Truth and Peace that we have been searching for in our life. Only in Jesus can we live the Beatitudes that are hard lessons but the path to peace. Jesus came to keep justice and mercy, truth and peace together. He came to save us.

And this morning in silence, in this snow-covered museum of cold and ice, we find a path where we find our balance, renewed energy and a spirit that can make our fragile and weak spirits strong again.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: "People listened to me expectantly. Waiting in silence for my counsel. (Job 29:21).

Lord, I pray for all my Sunshine Friends that in this silent moment we find the Jesus who comes to breathe a sign of relief and a moment to heal all our fears with his tender love and quiet peace.

It's Hard to Measure Up

Sometimes, it’s just hard to measure up.

I realize that it was simply impossible for a human being to be and remain good or pure. If, for instance, I wanted to be attentive in one direction, it could only be at the cost of neglecting another. If I gave my heart to one thing, it left another in the cold. No day and no hour go by without my being guilty of inadequacy. We never do enough, and what we do is never well enough done, except being inadequate, which we are good at because that is the way we are made.This is true of me and of everyone else. I am constantly catching myself feeling inadequate and falling short of my expectations. It sounds strange that we should be guilty where we can do nothing about it.

Henri Nouwen expressed similar feelings: There is a nagging sense that there are unfinished tasks, unfulfilled promises, and unrealized proposals. There is always something else that we should have remembered, done, or said. There are always people we did not speak to, write to, or visit. Thus, although we are very busy, we also have a lingering feeling of never really fulfilling our obligations. A gnawing sense of being unfulfilled underlies our filled lives.

Last week, I thanked a man who went out of his way to help me and he replied to pray for this “heathen.” In other words, he did not feel comfortable coming to church because he was acutely aware of his imperfections. What he didn’t realize was that people who come to church are acutely aware that we simply do not measure up to God’s expectations. Why is this?

At the end of the day, we cannot measure up and cannot not disappoint others and ourselves. The fault is not that we are not sincere or that we do not put out the effort. The fault is that we are human. We have limited resources, get tired, experience feelings we cannot control, have only 24 hours in our day, have too many demands on us, have wounds and weaknesses that shackle us, and thus know exactly what St. Paul meant when he said: Woe, to me, wretch that I am, the good I want to do, I cannot do; and the evil I want to avoid, I end up doing!

What I want you to realize is that despite our inability to measure up we need to be a people of hope with renewed energy in our lives. In case you did not realize it, to be human is to be inadequate. Only God is adequate and the rest of us can safely say to ourselves: Fear not you who are inadequate! For God who made us this way surely gives us the slack, the forgiveness, and the grace we need to work with this.

The key to be fully human is to accept our imperfections, our congenital inadequacy, which can bring us to a healthy humility and perhaps even to a healthy humor about it.

But it should bring us to something more: prayer, especially the Eucharist.

I try to celebrate Eucharist every day. I do this because I am a priest and part of the covenant a priest makes with the church at his ordination is to pray the priestly prayer of Jesus, the Eucharist and the Liturgy of the Hours, regularly for the world. But I do it too, more personally, for another reason: The older I get, the less confident, in some ways, I am becoming. I don't always know whether I'm following Christ properly or even know exactly what it means to follow Christ, and so I stake my faith on an invitation that Jesus left us on the night before he died: To break bread and drink wine in his memory and to trust that this, if all else is uncertain, is what we should be doing while we wait for him to return.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: "Do not be angry beyond measure, Lord; do not remember our sins forever. Oh, look on us, we pray, for we are all your people.” (Isaiah 64:9).

Lord, I pray for all my Sunshine Friends that they may realize that despite our imperfections our God reaches out to make us his children who shine like the stars.

Take a Breath

The other day, while driving on the expressway in the snow, I suddenly felt a strong pain in my abdomen like a knot. Since December 1^st, we have been dumped with record amounts of snow except for one brief melt. I must have had a lot of stress that day for here I was having a painful, panic attack while driving on another miserable snowy day.

So, I started to slowly breathe. Yes, we do not breathe when we are experiencing lots of tension. We literally hold our breath. We tend to tense up inside and hold our breath when facing a situation that we feel out of control.

So like a good strudent, I tell myself, yes I also talk to myself and say to: breathe, slowly, calmly. This exercise is called the Relaxation Response and it helps to relieve the pain and fear. I’m slowly breathing in through my nose, taking a moment to hold the breath and slowly exhale like blowing a kiss. As I exhale, I might add a word or phase that helps to keep me calm, “God, give me strength.”

This anxious moment did cause me to reflect upon the Word of God which says, "Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid neither be dismayed; for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." (Joshua1:6).

What does that have to do with having knots in your stomach when driving on slippery roads? If, according to the Word, a sparrow can not fall to the ground without God knowing it, then that means I have the attention of the Almighty. And driving on icy roads in which I feel that I about to lose control of the wheel is cause for me to have God’s attention.

So, if God is aware of me, then I should be of good courage. God is with you, my friend, right now - where you are. Driving to work on another snowy morning, taking your medicine for a cold, battling a life-threatening disease, or starting over again after a lost of a job or relationship.

No matter where you are, or who are you, God has assured you of His presence. It is true, no matter how high one goes in the sky, or how deep one goes in the ocean, one can't get away from God.

So be of good courage. Be not afraid of the difficulties that are in your life, or the trial through which you are going. Things might really be bad, but please acknowledge God with you. You have a friend in Him.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. (Psalm 150:6).

Lord, I pray for all my Sunshine Friends that they be especially blessed and be given great reassurance. May they know of your concern over them. May they never be forgotton. Because if you know of the fallen sparrow, you certainly know about this special, dear one.

Just Let Loose

A Sonshine Friend shared this frightening story about his experience during our recent snowstorms. He was traveling on 104 when he lost control of his truck on black ice. The truck began to spin out of control, not once but three times around. He remembers seeing this ditch, then guard rails and then he feared the cars that were behind him had no way to stop before they would crash into his spinning vehicle. He admitted to me that he had never been so scared in his life. But the hand of God must have been on his shoulder because his truck stayed on the road, never went into any ditch and finally came to a stop in the middle of 104.

What he did not know at the time was that a New York State trooper witnessed the entire spin and slowed all the traffic behind the truck. The trooper was most kind in that he came to the rescue of our frightened driver and shared that he had thought for certain the truck was going to turn over and spin out into the ditch. This trooper slowed the traffic behind our driver so that no one would hit him from behind.

Without a doubt, he prayed in gratitude to God for protecting him and saving him from a serious injury or worse.He recalled that as he was spinning out of control the first time, he tried to steer the wheels but it was no use. He suddenly just “let go of the steering wheel.” When he finally let go of the steering wheel, the truck spun for two more times and ended safely in the middle of the road.

You might be going through your own “slippery experience.” We need to constantly remind ourselves that there is a God who is always underneath us with everlasting arms.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: "You have a mighty arm: Strong is your hand and high is your right hand.” (Psalm 89:13).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that they may let loose of that which they are holding on. The difficulties, the problems, the tensions can be released. May they be encouraged to turn loose and fall into your everlasting arms. May they hold less and less onto their situation, and more and more onto you. In you is their hope.

New Year House Blessing

In doing some reading about the Feast of the Epiphany, I like to encourage a custom of unknown origin that is often mentioned in connection with this day of celebration: the blessing and chalking of the house. Many versions of the ceremony that I’ve come across include these elements.

The reciting of a blessing upon the house (or other dwelling) and those who inhabit it.

The blessing of a piece of chalk that is then used to write a formula above the entry of the house. The formula incorporates the current year with the initials of the wise men (whose names are not recorded in scripture but were given by tradition as Caspar [or Gaspar], Melchior, and Balthasar). This coming Epiphany, it would be written this way:

20 + C + M + B + 11

Some folks note that “C M B” can also stand for “Christus Mansionem Benedicat,” which means “May Christ bless this dwelling.”) This chalking is followed by the sprinkling of the door with holy water.

Like the Magi who brought their gifts to the dwelling place of Jesus, I invite you to imagine the coming year as a house—a space in time that is opening itself to all of us. How will we inhabit the coming year? How will we enter it with mindfulness and with intention? How will we move through the rooms of the coming months in a way that brings blessing to this world?

With these questions in mind, I offer this blessing for you.

The Year as a House: A Blessing

Think of the year as a house: door flung wide in welcome, threshold swept and waiting,
a graced spaciousness opening and offering itself to you.

Let it be blessed in every room. Let it be hallowed in every corner. Let every nook be a refuge and every object set to holy use.

Let it be here that safety will rest. Let it be here that health will make its home. Let it be here that peace will show its face. Let it be here that love will find its way.

Here let the weary come let the aching come let the lost come let the sorrowing come.

Here let them find their rest and let them find their soothing and let them find their place
and let them find their delight.

And may it be in this house of a year that the seasons will spin in beauty, and may it be
in these turning days that time will spiral with joy. And may it be that its rooms will fill
with ordinary grace and light spill from every window to welcome the stranger home.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: "How lovely is your dwelling place, Lord Almighty.” (Psalm 84:1).

Lord I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that their homes may be a welcoming place for family and strangers. Wherever you make your home, may it be blessed, and may you enter this Epiphany and the coming year in peace.

Imagine

The good news for this week is that the world is changed and saved when God the Son comes down here. “Immanuel, which means, ‘God with us.”

Yes, that’s it.

God with us.

God with us in all our flesh-and-blood complaints and messiness. “Christ among the pots and pans” as Teresa of Avila put it. Christ among the barn animals, our dogs and kitties, our horses and cows, and then those quirky magi astrologers and then all the rest of the Gospel’s curious cast of characters.

God with us.

God with the prostitutes and the lepers and the outcast in whose company Jesus would delight again and again. God at the dinner table with a chive stuck between his incisors. God lifting the cup of wine to his lips.

God with us.

God with the little children whose warm brows he touched and blessed. God smiling when a baby was shown to him by a proud new mother. God with us in all our ordinary times and days. God with us, as Jesus would say to bookend Matthew’s gospel, even unto the end of the ages.

Always. With us. Immanuel.

Immanuel is God-with-us in the cancer clinic and at the local nursing home where bodies slump pitifully in wheelchairs pushed up against the hallway walls. Immanuel is God-with-us when the pink slip comes and when the beloved child sneers, "I hate you!"

Immanuel is God-with-us when you pack the Christmas decorations away and, with an aching heart, you realize afresh that your one child never did call over the holidays. Not once.

Immanuel is God-with-us when your dear wife or mother stares at you with an Alzheimer's glaze and absently asks, "What was your name again, dear?"

Ever and always Jesus stares straight into you with his two good eyes and he does so not only when you can smile back but most certainly also when your own eyes are full of tears. In fact, Jesus is Immanuel, "God with you" even in those times when you are so angry with God that you refuse to meet his eyes. But even when you feel like you can't look at him, he never looks away from you. He can't. His name says it all.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: "For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." (Isaiah 9:6).

Lord I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that on Christmas Day we may know that you have come, just as promised. My Christmas blessings to all of you for your prayers and support throughout the year. May Immanuel bring you peace and joy.

Stop Your Complaining

I’m walking into a cable company store to drop off my router and cancel my account. Inside the door, this company has a sign that tells you to press a button, take a ticket and wait.

Waiting for customer service is not one of my strengths. It ranks as “very annoying” and high on my list of complaints. At the counter are five stations in which only three have someone waiting on customers. I notice when one customer had finished, the agent started to mark some papers instead of calling the next number. More waiting. Being ignored also ranks high on my list of complaints. Now only two reps are waiting on customers. Suddenly from the back room, an agent appears at the counter and calls a number. Unfortunately, the other agent leaves her station and we’re back to two servers. Put this compliant on my list. Whenever customer service puts you on hold or worse the phone line gets disconnected—now that’s really annoying.

We are a nation of complainers. Being inconvenienced really stretches our endurance, our patience and respect for people. We need to give ourselves a little pep talk, and tell ourselves that there are far worse injustices being perpetuated around the world, and calmly calm ourselves down. We need to get back into our cars and cool off.

As a photographer, did you ever notice the difference in colors between Advent and Lent. The crimson-purple of advent is not the black-purple of lent. The former symbolizes yearning and longing, the latter repentance. The spirituality of advent is not about repentance, but about carrying tension without prematurely resolving it so that what’s born in us and in our world does not short-circuit the fullness that comes from respecting love’s rhythms.

The crimson-purple is about waiting and how well we hold up in situations not in our control. We look forward to the birth of the Savior, but there’s a tension and pain and lessons to be learned in the waiting period. To reach the sublime moment of Christmas peace, we need to surrender our petty annoyances that reflect our intolerance and criticism of people.

What helps change this selfish attitude is precisely the tension in our lives. In carrying properly our unfulfilled desires we sizzle and slowly let go of the dampness of selfishness. In carrying tension we come to kindling temperature and are made ready for love. Sizzling in tension, not resolving things prematurely. The sublime has to be waited for. Only when there is first enough heat will there be unity. To give birth to what’s divine requires the slow patience of gestation.

Think of how long God has waited for us to come away from our thoughtless, selfish complaints and embraced a spirit that oozes with empathy and forgiveness for customer service folks required to work on holidays and 3am in the morning.

Advent gives us another chance to learn to better handle those waiting moments in our life. When we realize that we have nothing to complain about, we focus our energy on being more compassionate people.

Jesus watches over us as we reflect: “Those who are wayward in spirit will gain understanding; those who complain will accept instruction.”(Isaiah 29:24).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who have been routed to the far corners of the earth. May our time on hold make us a better people and respond when service comes back online, “thanks for you time, you’re the best.”