You Have Found Favor

Today, in our tradition, the angel Gabriel comes to Mary with an invitation. The messenger angel tells Mary what a wonderful young woman she has been in the eyes of God that He has special plans for her. However, Mary in her humanness reveals her fear, doubt, confusion and finally acceptance of this invitation to serve the blessed role as the mother of God.

You might ask yourself what is your vocation at this stage in life. To lead a spiritual life means to develop a sense of vocation. Such people tend to see their work not just as a job, but as a calling. Spiritual folks feel that they are a part of a higher purpose, that their life however unfamous, counts, that they were put here for a reason. God has created me to do him some definite service. He has committed some work to me. Which he has not committed to another? He has not created me to bring on chaos and despair, I shall do his work; I shall be an angel of peace. One way to be an angel of peace is to practice the following commandments of forgiveness.

The Fourth Commandment: Forgiveness is not indifference. What that means is where things are harmful and wrong, we don’t just go back to “business as usual,” and let the hurt and damage go on. Forgiveness is not indifference, and we should do what we can to make sure the evil won’t happen again.

The Fifth Commandment: Forgiveness is not the same thing as approval. We can be forgiving and, at the same time, express our disagreement, express our disapproval of harmful behavior. The next commandments are more positive and deeper.

The Sixth Commandment: Forgiveness is based on recognizing and admitting that people are always bigger than their faults. People are always larger than, and they are more than, their mistakes or their wrongdoings. In other words, we don’t define somebody and who they are by something they said to us or the way they hurt us. They are bigger than that. Forgiveness is based on recognizing and admitting that people are always bigger and more than their faults and their mistakes.

The Seventh Commandment: Forgiveness is willing to allow a person who has offended us to start over again. You know, the more common thing is saying, “Never again! No way! I will never let that happen again. I will never have anything to do with him again. No way!” Forgiveness means letting go of that. Forgiveness means allowing another person to start all over again.

God prays for us as we reflect: “Then the angel said, Do not fear (insert your name here), for you have found favor with God.” (Luke 1:30).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends who are suspicious and sometimes doubt God’s is calling out to them. Despite our doubts, our sins, our reluctance to believe, all are welcomed to come and adore him. In his divine eyes: “We are ALL perfect.” Children created in the image and likeness of God.

Whom Are You Kidding?

A patient struggling in his marriage and chemical disease said that he wanted to go to church. His partner did not want him to come with her because it would make her feel uncomfortable. He said that he grew up Catholic, but then he said something that shocked me. “I won’t go back to my church because they make everyone feel evil.”

Do you ever feel that your sins are too horrible or too terrible for God to forgive? That the volume of your sins is just too great to be forgiven. Do you have the feeling that there is little chance that God will ever let you into his heaven because of the very wicked life that you have led or because you have committed the same sins over and over? No offense to this beautiful bird, but the expression in his eyes reeks with an attitude that says: “Whom are you kidding?”

I believe that the God’s love doesn't care what you have done in the past, or how hideous, heinous, or horrendous your sins may have been. And he could care less about what sins you are committing right now. What he cares about is what you are going to do from now on. Let me share with you the Ten Commandments of Forgiveness. I will share the first three and follow up later in the month.

The First Commandment: Forgiveness is not easy. There is no cheap grace. There is no quick fix. A mother says to her child: “Tell him you’re sorry.” “I’m sorry.” The kid mumbles reluctantly. Doesn’t mean a thing. If it’s a quick and it’s easy it’s not real, especially for deep betrayals and hurts. So we need to ask God for help. We can’t forgive on our own. We need to ask God to start the process of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not easy and simple. It takes time.

The Second Commandment: Forgiveness is not Forgetting. We say, “Forgive and Forget.” I doubt think so. Forgiveness is about a change of heart, not a bad memory or having a senior moment. The wounds are too fresh or too deep. While forgiveness may not include harboring festering hurts, neither is it about forgetting. It may be helpful to remember the hurt from which you moved on, the occasion that began your journey to forgiveness.

The Third Commandment: Forgiveness does not overlook evil. I don't believe Catholics are responsible for all the evils in the world. We have done our share in history. It doesn’t mean that we accept injustice or naively believe that all is well when it isn’t. It doesn’t mean denial. It doesn’t mean, “Let’s pretend it never existed.” Forgiveness does not overlook evil.

God prays for us as we reflect: "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who bear the burden of an unforgiving mind that is filled with despair. Help them to let go of the hurts and pain and walk with You as they journey toward peace.

Don't Get Worked Up

It’s hard to live in the now since we constantly worry about the future. How low will the stock market go? Will I have enough money to pay my bills? What will I do if I lose my job? Will I be able to retire? What do I need to do to ensure I will have everything I need?

An expert wood carver sat on his front porch, sipping lemonade and enjoying the sunshine on a spring afternoon. Around him on the porch sat his various creations. A friend of the wood carver stopped by for a visit and he was surprised to see the artisan relaxing. “It’s only 1:30PM, isn’t it a bit early for a break?” he asked. The artisan swallowed a mouthful of lemonade and yawned. “This isn’t a break,” he said, “I’m done for the day.”

His friend, a young executive, was confused. “What do you mean it’s too early to stop working? You could produce more. You could carve more figures. You could even hire an assistant to help you with your business. You could buy new tools. You could buy a shop and you wouldn’t have to carve at your house.” “Why would I want to do all that?” the carver asked. “So you could make more money,” his friend replied. “And what would I do with all that extra money?” the wood carver asked. “Why, enjoy life, of course.” The wood carver took another sip of lemonade, leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. He then mumbled, “What do you think I’m doing?”

Jesus made it clear that we would often find ourselves in tension over trying to serve God and trying be successful. The illusion of our culture feeds our worries and creates anxiety. In recent years we've seen just how manipulative and powerful a politics of fear can be. Our capitalist economy legitimizes greed, creates artificial wants and needs, perfects advertising techniques that shape our attitudes, and makes sure that money, no matter how much or little you have, is our number one worry. The most insidious effects of capitalism might be on those who succeed at it rather than on the poor who fail. No one is immune from these and other powerful cultural forces. I know I'm not.

“You cannot add to your life span by worrying,” Jesus said. I believe that Jesus meant that we will be less anxious and most likely live longer when we are optimistic about life and not pessimistic.

When we are optimistic we are more hopeful. That doesn’t mean we won’t experience a negative balance on our 401K. When we do, God wants us to embrace this event and realize that God is with us. Worrying gets us nowhere. The past is over and the future has not yet arrived. All we can do is live in the now. Let me suggest that you offer this paraphrased prayer of St. Francis to calm your soul whenever your (whizzy brain) chronic worry gets the best of you.

"I want to be a channel for peace. May I bring love where there is hatred and healing where there is hurt; joy where there is sadness and hope where there is fear.

I pray that I may always try to understand and comfort other people as well as seeking comfort and understanding from them.

Wherever possible, may I choose to be a light in the darkness, a help in times of need, and a caring, honest friend. And may justice, kindness and peace flow from my heart forever."

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends that we experience the God we call Love in the people around us. Help us to unite ourselves to them as one, in ways that are even beyond our understanding, so that much of the anxiety, much of worry coming from the uncertainties of life are overcome.

Smile from the Heart

Where do you think God is in this picture? Does the divine dwell in the goat or in the "chubby cheeks"? I think it's in the hands that holds our heads up when we are feeling down about the "blah" weather or our life. On another cold, snowy day, take "FIVE" and meditate on this image until you allow the hand of God to melt your troubles and be at peace.

Share the Joy

Three to five inches of snow predicted in Rochester. Our friends in Buffalo had 23 inches yesterday. Take a peak at our young man with his prize winning "GOAT" not a sheep. Opps!

Caught My Eye

This young man caught my eye as he was waiting outside the judging ring. He was holding tight to his black and white face goat that he had brought to the winter fair. While all the other kids were preening their goats before walking into the ring, our young man had the greatest grin on his face showing off his favorite pet for the first time. That’s the ticket, he was oozing with enthusiasm because this was the first time he had ever been entered in a championship show ring.

One noticed that he was not nervous like his other competitors. You could see the tension on their faces, their eyes always looking at the judge to make sure that their sheep was standing in the right position looking their best. Our young lad was having a great time as he entered the ring; he was calm and beaming from chin to chin. His goat could sense that his owner was at ease so that made this fur ball calm and collected. While the other goats were bouncing around and jumping away from the other kids, our little fellow had perfect control of his friend. The two were in sync and you could feel their calm as the judge moved from one contestant to another.

When she approached our young man, he stood with quiet confidence that he held the prize goat. She had asked to look inside the goat’s mouth, not sure what this was all about, but our young man struggled a wee bit to get his friend to cooperate. That moment was priceless, so our image shows the precise moment when he tried to pry his friend’s mouth open for a look inside his dentures. It would appear his furry friend had better things to do.

The judge called out her best three goats and our young man placed third out of twenty-five entries. He walked out of the judging ring with the biggest smile that won my heart and expressed how thrilled he was by the whole experience.

Many things in life send us into a panic and make us numb. The current economic crisis makes our stomachs sick. I have been called over 60 times this year to staff on-site critical incidents that include fatal auto accidents, severe injuries on the job, and the sudden death of a co-worker in the office.

The God we pray to came to relieve the suffering of the world and wants us to experience joy in our lifetime. Perhaps, we need to look a little closer at the deer outside our windows, or our grandchildren crawling on the carpet or maybe it’s a wee small boy taking his goat to the fair for the first time.

We fear divine judgment, but we need to remind ourselves that Christ came to bring only mercy. So in a moment when you are feeling overwhelmed or not quite your perky self, take a glance at our young lad and allow the grace of God’s love to bathe you in His warmth and soothe your fears with a joy that can calm a nervous goat with a gentle heart.

God prays for us as we reflect: “…let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.“ (Psalm 5:11).

Lord I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are plagued with disease and fears that they cannot control. Calm our nerves and help us embrace Your strength and courage. Bring them joy.

Two Friends

Just up the road is a field, with two horses in it. From a distance, each looks like every other horse. But if you stop your car, or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing. Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind. His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him. This alone is amazing.

If nearby and listening, you will hear the sound of a bell. Looking around for the source of the sound, you will see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field. Attached to her halter is a small bell. It lets her blind friend know where she is, so he can follow her.

As you stand and watch these two friends, you'll see how she is always checking on him, and that he will listen for her bell and then slowly walk to where she is, trusting that she will not lead him astray. When she returns to the shelter of the barn each evening, she stops occasionally and looks back, making sure her friend isn't too far behind to hear the bell.

Like the owner of these two horses, God does not throw us away just because we are not perfect or because we have problems or challenges. He watches over us and even brings others into our lives to help us when we are in need.

Sometimes we are the blind horse being guided by the little ringing bell of those who God places in our lives. Other times we are the guide horse, helping others see. Good friends are like this. You don't always see them, but you know they are always there. My good Sonshine friends at Heberle Farm rescue horses and give these abandoned horses another chance to rest, heal and find new homes where they will be cared for. Please listen for my bell and I'll listen for yours.

God prays for us as we reflect: “You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory." Psalm 73:24.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends that we keep in mind all our friends who guide us with their wisdom. Help us to be kinder than necessary, for everyone we meet is struggling with some kind of challenge.

A Heavenly Place

Grotto Falls on Trillium Gap Trail, Great Smoky Mountain National Park, Tennesee. This trail climbs 520 feet and is shaded by large American beeches, silverbells, and maples.

A Heavenly Place

Stream along Caves Cove Road in Great Smoky Mountain National Park

A Heavenly Place

Sunrise on Newfoundland Gap in the Great Smoky Mountain National Park, North Carolina

A Heavenly Place

Sunset on Clingman's Dome in Great Smoky Mountain National Park, North Carolina

The Journey Home

I still make “house calls” and on this Sunday afternoon I had been invited to the home of Norbert who quite literally is going home to God. Greeted by his beloved spouse Mary at the door, I sat next to this gentleman who spoke in a whisper about his life. He greeted me with the words: “Blessed Be the Name of the Lord.” He shared his faith, his love for his family and talked about the many journeys he had taken in his lifetime to the Vatican, Australia, England, Scotland and Ireland.

His stories reminded me of returning down the mountain in the Smokies that faithful morning when I started up the trail in pitch darkness. The trek home proved more difficult than expected. Sliding on loose shale, I came across those roots never seen on the journey in the dark. I wondered how many dangers we have escaped known only to God who watches and protects our steps from falling down a cliff.

Hikers were now coming up the trail and it was interesting to note the differences in how prepared these folks had come for their journey. Some were seasoned hikers using their ski poles to maneuver around the rocks and steep hills. Other hikers wore mini-packs that contained their feed of trail mix, water and supplies. Then came the “tourist” ill prepared for the journey ahead. These poor folks were gazing at the trail like the top was just around the corner, when in reality it would be another three hours up the mountain. Walking in sneakers, no water, no food, no poles just pulling along their children like a visit to the mall. They had no clue what difficulties lie ahead. What a contrast to the Appalachian enthusiastists who were marching along in their high tech alpine boots, lightweight walking poles, hydrator water systems and GPS. To my shock, I witnessed a person wearing sandals and shook my head thinking that this might be a good time to call the park rangers.

On the way down the trail, I spotted those streams that I heard in the darkness of the still morning. I had missed their sublime beauty and only feared falling into the drink. At the end of our life’s journey, we might regret to think of the many opportunities we missed to see the beauty of God’s creation. We have our excuses like paying the bills, working overtime. However, at the end of our life when the miserable disease takes away our independence, we make an amazing discovery. The gift of God’s love comes in our faith and it is our family’s love that provides the most hope for joy and happiness. My homebound friend Norbert came to this revelation as I anointed him with Sacrament of the Sick and gave him Holy Communion.

Sometimes the unknown sends us into a panic and we fear the worse. However, our need is to witness to hope and persevere. Despite the disease that makes us sick to our stomach and helpless, there is our guide pointing out the way in which we will not stumble nor get lost. We might have suffered much violence and pain and depression, but our guide asks us to surrender these fears and hurts and take his hand for the journey ahead that leads to eternal life.

God prays for us as we reflect:” And a highway will be there; it will be called the Way of Holiness.” (Isaiah 35:8).

Lord, I pray for my Sonshine Friend, Norbert, and all the Sonshine souls we will pray for this coming Sunday. Our vocation is to be a gift of Your healing love here on earth, to walk carefully, to protect, conserve and pass on the Your compassionate love for future generations.

Into the Light

It’s 5:45 in the morning and pitch black on the trail. The Smoky Mountain National Park ranger suggested hiking the Alum Cave Bluffs Trail to catch the sunrise over the mountains. Only problem, it’s a 2.5-mile hike that takes an hour and a half. If one wants to see the morning glow, you need to begin this odyssey in the dark. The ranger made me swear to take a flashlight or better yet a headlamp. He warned about the dangers on the trail or coming across a black bear in the wilderness.

I borrowed a flashlight from the rectory that had the logo printed with the words St. Mary’s Hospital. Was this an omen? The experienced ranger knew this trail’s dangers were its infestation of nasty roots, boulders, water hazards and native furry creatures.

My trek began cautiously with flashlight in hand in pitch darkness. The light reminds me how God leads, showing us the way despite all the obstacles along the way. In the dark, I could hear a stream that paralleled the trail. Pointing the light off the path, it showed that the banks of the stream were only a few feet away. So image this scene, I am engulfed in complete darkness, walking over gnarled roots, around jagged boulders and keeping my distance from the banks of the stream, and yes, the batteries in the flashlight are glowing dim. Despite these dangers, the sound of the stream was like something “holy” calming my nerves and telling me not to be afraid.

It’s 6:05 and the pre-dawn light comes into focus. The rocks and roots are barely in focus, but I still need the light to help me safely up the mountain trail. The obstacles remind me of the fears that accumulate during our life’s journey. The suffering comes in many forms, the exhaustion of caretaking loved ones or battling some miserable disease. The fear of losing our retirement pension, our jobs or our homes. The illusion that chemicals can cure all our ills or that "stuff" brings happiness and the peace. These are the boulders that will trip and make us fall despite our best efforts to stay upright.

The flashlight keeps me on course, but the trail grows steeper and harder to hike. Sometimes "life" gives us more than we can bear. It is more than a “moderate hike” for we feel our heart pumping hard from all the strain. It is time to take a rest.

It’s 6:15 and the path grows clearer. The rocks and roots are visible without the flashlight. The climb takes me away from the stream and climbs to a tunnel in the cliff. Stone steps wind up the mountain with a steel cable that serves as a handrail. This is a much tougher climb than the ranger led me to believe. The whining points out that I’m not in shape for this kind of journey. Still, my hope is to take some pictures of the sunrise. If we are mindful of the spirit, we would know what to do when we are feeling overwhelmed by the journey. Patience, patience and more patience. The hike continues up and more up, climbing over boulder after boulder. Finally, the climb leads out of the woods and into a clearing where the morning light pours over the autumn trees. It’s a stunning shot as the morning light makes this scene “holy and majestic.”

God prays for us as we reflect: “Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble.” (Proverbs 3:23).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends whose journeys take them to the limits of their endurance. May your light lead us on a path where we will not stumble nor fall. May the voice of the spirit like the sound of a running stream breathe new life into our weakness and give us strength for the journey ahead that leads to our home in heaven.

Into Your Hands

At a rehearsal dinner, the dad of the groom shared the story that his son found his daughter-in-law in cyberspace. The couple had listed their bios on “Match.com.” The groom noted that his bride-to-be enjoyed tennis, travel and cooking. Something inside of him made him want to “wink” cyberspace lingo for “replied to the email.” While cyberspace became the hook, I believe it was the prompting of the Holy Spirit that brought this couple together to the altar. The groom‘s mom told the story that after she met the bride she whispered to her son ”this is the one.”

I asked this couple to make a “bucket list” of things they wanted to do throughout their married life. At the rehearsal dinner, they added to their list the desire to travel to all 50 states. Their honeymoon in Hawaii would get them off to a grand start on their quest.

At the wedding service, this couple chose the Sermon on the Mount, the teaching of the Beatitudes that would mirror God’s love in their home. What a wonderful sermon and task they had chosen-to live in harmony, to weep with the mournful, to laugh with the joyful, to not be conceited. They had accepted the call to be humble.

Before the wedding, I had a blood test scheduled at the lab. I arrived early, but there were ten senior citizens ahead of me. So I read my Cook’s Illustrated magazine picking out a recipe for the weekend, However, my quick visit turned into an emergency. It seemed one of the seniors fainted in the middle of their blood test. I knew something was wrong when I overheard the receptionist say: “passed out.” A half hour later a patient was being hauled out the door of the lab on a gurney. People were impatient and complaining because they were in a hurry. Probably, other weddings to go to.

When it was my turn, the nurse verified that “two patients” had fainted that morning. I simply told her that it was not her fault and that she was doing a great job. Never felt that needle prick, but she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said, “Can I have a hug?” We need to practice to be “walking sermons.”

That’s the way of married life, the Beatitudes say that when things don’t go as planned, when there are delays or cancellation, mistakes or a spouse acts like a jerk, that’s the moment you can choose to “be like Christ.” This means to forgive and move on in such a way that your partner knows in their gut and heart that they made the right choice. Live humbly, pray for one another, be fair and honest all the time, let go of past grudges and resentments. God wants us to be joyful but only do if we are in need: hungry, searching, willing to change, willing to risk.

God prays for us as we reflect: “Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth.” (Psalm 31:5).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who live in harmony with their spouses. May their journey become a quiet, peaceful walk as they strive with your strength to live in the spirit of the “be-atitudes.” Let me add a special prayer for those friends separated that “in the meantime” of their life they find good friends who are willing to shed tears and walk with them as they search for healing and strength.

Hush and Be Still

I was feeling sad as a retiree shared his panic followed by an intense sense of dread that he would not have enough money for his spouse and children. No doubt individuals and families are suffering due to our national economy. It would be easy to get lost in the mindset of doom. Let's not.

Whenever we feel overwhelmed, it is so hard to sit still. It’s even a chore just to close your eyes for a few moments and gently let the world disappear to regain your balance. Shutting your eyes (never during driving) is a way of regaining health to your nervous system. In closing our eyes, we can regain our balance and proper focus.

Despite the economy and doom in the daily news, we need to learn to “be still.” So many struggles, so many battles because we are always on the go. And even when we have our body "sitting still", it seems that our minds keep..."going."

God prays for us as we reflect: "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:107).

When should we pray like this? It is hard to be still especially when everything and everyone is moving with such speed. But there are so many benefits in learning to “being still.” One is that we can “know God.”

Let me illustrate with an experience we share in our travels. We are visiting a famous aquarium or museum. There are lots of informational signs regarding the fish and the artwork. As you browse through the different galleries with your rented “hearing wand” you learn the stories about the fish or artists. But we still hastened pass so many of the exhibits. Even when we did stop to look for a nano-second, we were in a hurry. So, consequently, we were never still enough to know about the jellyfish, the horses or the works of art.

But if they are to know the artist, we must "be still" and spend time. Then we will know about the author as we gaze quietly at a cloud, a branch, and a wave of the sea or a ray of the drifting moon. In other words, "Be still and know the artist."

Find some solitude in your life. This can be challenging if you are at work, or at home with kids. But we all need some private time to let the nervous system regenerate. As little children, we might have hidden in the closet either playing “hide go seek” or a way to get away from it all. This tiny single room (a nun's closet, quite literally) became our sanctuary from the stresses of a little kid’s world. Inside we used our imagination not to feel scared but to find calm. Be creative. Find your space. Any way you can.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that they be motivated to just "hush" and "be still" and let you love them and minister to them. Help us to surrender these feelings of dread and doom and let them be still in their “nun’s closet”....let the Lord come in.

Soaring Feathers

It’s 4 am in the morning and I am driving to Dansville, New York on Labor Day to attend the annual hot air balloon festival. The pilots and crew chiefs are called to attend their morning briefing. Sunrise at 6:36 shows the sky to be clear except for some early morning fog descending along the valley. There would be a 20-minute delay to reassess the weather. In the crowd, I notice a photographer holding a telephoto lens. I scoot over and ask him what settings he plans to use on his digital to shoot the hot air balloons. In my practice, I have discovered that “men like to talk about their gadgets.”

A distinguished firefighter for over 30 years working at Kodak Park, this “gentle-man” retired and transferred his life saving skills into the realm of capturing the beauty of nature. Comparing notes about our experiences “in the wild,” we heard the announcement that the balloon launch would be canceled. The fog was too much a danger. My kind mentor noted that two parks were near the Dansville airfield. We “hooked up” and drove to Stoneybrook and later to Letchworth Park.

Sometimes broken plans lead us in directions we could never have imagined. Many times, we have made plans in our life about a career, a relationship, our vacation, or retirement and plans get cancelled due to poor weather, poor health or maybe a poor attitude.

Jesus taught a message that was a stumbling block for his disciples. He announced that his life would be “canceled.” He would have to suffer, die and rise from the dead. Personally, we would prefer to skip the suffering and save ourselves, our children, our neighbor from any pain. Yet despite, our humanity, I believe we are most divine when we surrender our need for survival and put our life on the line.

Thanking this retired firefighter for saving a broken morning, he was shooting the middle falls at Letchworth as I drove away. However, while driving out of park, I noticed a flock of turkey vultures gathered on a hilltop. One by one they took off to soar up into the thermals. So instead of taking images of slick hot air balloons, let me share with you a divine moment as these birds soared into my viewfinder with the clouds of glory as their backdrop.

The Lord prays for us as we reflect “Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed; he answers him from his holy heaven with the saving power of his right hand.” (Psalm 20:7).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends whose saving hands have reached out to someone struggling in their moments of suffering. Bless our firefighters and all our emergency professionals who daily risk their lives to save others from darkness and fear.

Moment of Grace

What is it that you don’t want to tell the Lord? Perhaps it was a moment when you were careless and hurt your friend’s feeling with a nasty remark. Worse, maybe it was time when you were out having fun and you found yourself pregnant. How many women have felt so alone and ashamed that they would never run to their parents with this news. Instead, they make a decision in seclusion that resulted in a lifetime of regret and shame. In those lonely moments in which you are plagued by your memories when you were not perfect that I would ask you to humbly look at the cross and say to yourself “ I believe.”

Many times when we pray, we expect God to zap us with what we ask for. Zap and we are perfect, zap and he makes us patient, zap and we given courage, zap and we are out of debt, zap and our broken relationships are fixed, or zap and we are forgiven. Rather, I like to think of God as someone who gives us the opportunity to be patient, to be kind, to forgive and be forgiven.

Despite what we think was our worse moment, our worse failure at being perfect, our worse sin that we think keeps us away from the immeasurable mercy of God, it is really anger that holds us back from the mercy of God that will make us feel whole again.

If you want to experience peace in your life after you list all the dumb, foolish and yes even shameful deeds and words you have committed, then I urge you to come away from this fear and say to yourself: “I forgive myself despite… and name your sin.” Then after you say this a dozen or more times, step two is simply: “I forgive the one who has hurt me…”

Never doubt the power of God’s willingness to free you from your shame, your sin and your worse nightmares. Remember the last words Our Lord spoke from the cross: “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” It is a “moment of grace” to surrender your sins to God and let go of the shame and fear that shadows your life. If no human words can bring relief from your suffering, then I would ask that you simply say to yourself inside your soul “Believe” and allow His healing presence to caress your troubled soul with His divine peace.

The Lord prays for us as we reflect: “The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer.” (Psalm 6:9).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends who continue to suffer daily from the memories that they have failed to live up to their expectations. Give us the humility and strength to understand that You died on the cross to show your immeasurable love that brings only divine mercy and inner peace.

A Little More Sonshine

Michael is a master floral designer, and he has the wonderful talent of taking a bunch of flowers and arranging them into a work of art. Many years ago, I wandered into his flower shop and asked if he could teach me how to arrange flowers. Despite my initial feeble efforts, I was soon making Valentine gifts of floral bouquets for the retired Sisters of Mercy. Now, this respected mentor was reviewing my photo portfolio to market to the worldwide net. As he sat in front of the computer scrutinizing hundreds of images, he was designing in his mind a unique approach to display the photo gallery.

Instead of listing holidays or seasons of the years, the search became a journey into capturing scenes that portrayed the divine seeds of celebration and healing. His imagination focused on looking for images that portrayed the spirit of joy and thanksgiving. As I moved the cursor from one file to another, we had no difficulty downloading images that illustrated images of healing and gratitude. However, our search started to crawl for photos that reflected a sensed of joy and happiness. I wished that I had taken more baby pictures, birthday parties, weddings, or children blowing soap bubbles. However my moments of grace were found in enchanted forests with babbling creeks, foggy mornings on a bay, mountain valleys, but where was the sunshine?

I have to admit that I felt uncomfortable to think that after a decade of photography, most of my images would best be labeled as “somber and serene.” Ministry had focused on helping folks cope with their trials and difficulties. The unconscious impact on our personality might be the tendency to see only the darkness. Nothing wrong in being serious and somber, but maybe this insight meant that I needed to make more room in my life for a little more joy. It was time to look for rainbows and ice creme sundaes, glory rays and hot air balloons. In case you forgot despite the stresses of everyday life, God wants us all to be as happy as this horse photo that needs a good caption to go along with his grin. Submit your suggestions on-line and I'll post for your enjoyment.

God prays for us as we reflect: “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy.” (Psalm 30:11).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends whose heavy crosses have made them serious and somber. Help us to find the joy in our everyday lives. May your Spirit inspire in us to be more mindful of the joy that bathes our life and soul with Your divine happiness.

The Shoulder

Dolores was 85 when she died in the nursing home. I had invited her two sisters, Mamie and Bea to share some stories about their feisty, kind-hearted, bowling partner. These women had been “girlfriends” throughout their lives and shared that their sister’s proudest moment was the birth of her only grandchild. This grandchild was now eight years old, and Joshua had wandered over into our conversation. I looked at Josh and asked him what he will miss most about his grandma and without hesitation he said: “her hugs and kisses.” Everyone in our circle of family gave him a look of praise and warmth to which he immediately added this comment: “you knew she meant it.” Sometimes our children can be most profound in explaining the mystery of faith. It would appear that his grandma had taught this young lad a lesson or two about the love of the Lord. In Jesus’ presence, one knew that they were accepted and loved by the arms that held you.

Yes, Josh’s dad got up in front of family and friends and he gave a wonderful, tearful tribute to his mom. At the end of the service, he wanted to play a song for the family that expressed words of hope and thanksgiving for a mom he believed rests in the arms of the angels. However, there was one moment that I witnessed that no one could see. After I offered the final blessing, I walked to the back of funeral chapel and dad put on the CD and sat in a chair in the back of the room. At that very moment, Josh walked over to the side of the chair and put his arm around the back of his dad and gently laid his head on his dad’s shoulder. I wanted my camera to capture this “sacred moment” but it will suffice that I hope you “get the picture.” His dad called his son the miracle child when he witnessed his birth in the hospital. Now, this sign of God’s love had come back to his dad to bring them both comfort and peace. This was a “stunning moment” and one I can only share with you and give God thanks.

Yesterday, I prayed for over 300 dads that were submitted online. Let me share with you this blessing prayer that you might want to keep in mind throughout the month day for all our dads.

Let us praise those fathers who have striven to balance the demands of work, marriage, and children with an honest awareness of both joy and sacrifice.

Let us praise those fathers who, lacking a good model for a father, have worked to become a good father.

Let us praise those fathers who by their own account were not always there for their children, but who continue to offer those children, now grown, their love and support.

Let us pray for those fathers who have been wounded by the neglect and hostility of their children.

Let us praise those fathers who, despite divorce, have remained in their children's lives.

Let us praise those fathers whose children are adopted, and whose love and support has offered healing.

Let us praise those fathers who, as stepfathers, freely choose the obligation of fatherhood and earned their stepchildren's love and respect.

Let us praise those fathers who have lost a child to death, and continue to hold the child in their heart.

Let us praise those men who have no children, but cherish the next generation as if they were their own.

Let us praise those men who have "fathered" us in their role as mentors and guides.

Let us praise those men who are about to become fathers; may they openly delight in their children.

And let us praise those fathers who have died, but live on in our memory and whose love continues to nurture us.

God prays for us as we reflect: “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who carry the memories of so many family and friends. May we follow the example of little Josh and offer comfort and a shoulder to all in need of your comfort and peace.

The Blessing of Being Bad

During the penitential rite, people confess for “looking down on difficult people and thinking we are better,” did you never say to yourself, "Not me," or "Don't be so picky," or "Nobody's perfect!" We pray for deliverance from, "people you can’t rely on or going our easy way,” did you say to yourself, "Get real! I have my faults, but really!

But then confessing can get into some serious stuff. “I confess to what I have done and what I have failed to do”…by being nasty and deceitful… by denying and lying ... by making excuses ... by gossiping and slandering.” Again, we might have to stretch our conscious to think when we have done these things. We may be a sinner, but the sinner whom these prayers are describing was not us. Being expected to confess things we have never done might seem unreasonable. We question the penitential prayers with their endless recital of all the ways we human beings mess up. We might turn to the person sitting next to us in church and say, "Here it is, barely 10:00 o'clock in the morning, and we're already apologizing for being bad."

Yet, I know this is a major problem for many folks who never felt welcomed at the table of the Lord. They feel that they have fallen “out of grace” or “never measured up to the standards.” Christian theology insists that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Blasting ourselves as damnable sinners somehow seems out of sync with modern psychology.

So why is it that we confess sins? Are we simply supposed to be down on ourselves? Is there something wrong with healthy self-esteem? And what does any of this have to do with God’s mercy?

Jesus ate with sinners. Jesus chose to sit at the bad table, never mind that the teachers of his day and age, the lawgivers complained about his lousy taste in dinner companions. Jesus answered, "Go and learn what this means, 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have come to call not the righteous but sinners." The righteous are too busy trying to keep the rules. But the sinners need Jesus, and know it, and cherish his company.

God prays for us as we reflect: “The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer.” (Psalm 6:9).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are invited to sit at the bad table. It is here that we can experience that being bad is not a curse but a blessing. Jesus eats with sinners and that's why, on Sunday mornings, we confess our sins. We are seated at the bad table. We are saying grace. Amen.