It's Hard to Measure Up

Sometimes, it’s just hard to measure up.

I realize that it was simply impossible for a human being to be and remain good or pure. If, for instance, I wanted to be attentive in one direction, it could only be at the cost of neglecting another. If I gave my heart to one thing, it left another in the cold. No day and no hour go by without my being guilty of inadequacy. We never do enough, and what we do is never well enough done, except being inadequate, which we are good at because that is the way we are made.This is true of me and of everyone else. I am constantly catching myself feeling inadequate and falling short of my expectations. It sounds strange that we should be guilty where we can do nothing about it.

Henri Nouwen expressed similar feelings: There is a nagging sense that there are unfinished tasks, unfulfilled promises, and unrealized proposals. There is always something else that we should have remembered, done, or said. There are always people we did not speak to, write to, or visit. Thus, although we are very busy, we also have a lingering feeling of never really fulfilling our obligations. A gnawing sense of being unfulfilled underlies our filled lives.

Last week, I thanked a man who went out of his way to help me and he replied to pray for this “heathen.” In other words, he did not feel comfortable coming to church because he was acutely aware of his imperfections. What he didn’t realize was that people who come to church are acutely aware that we simply do not measure up to God’s expectations. Why is this?

At the end of the day, we cannot measure up and cannot not disappoint others and ourselves. The fault is not that we are not sincere or that we do not put out the effort. The fault is that we are human. We have limited resources, get tired, experience feelings we cannot control, have only 24 hours in our day, have too many demands on us, have wounds and weaknesses that shackle us, and thus know exactly what St. Paul meant when he said: Woe, to me, wretch that I am, the good I want to do, I cannot do; and the evil I want to avoid, I end up doing!

What I want you to realize is that despite our inability to measure up we need to be a people of hope with renewed energy in our lives. In case you did not realize it, to be human is to be inadequate. Only God is adequate and the rest of us can safely say to ourselves: Fear not you who are inadequate! For God who made us this way surely gives us the slack, the forgiveness, and the grace we need to work with this.

The key to be fully human is to accept our imperfections, our congenital inadequacy, which can bring us to a healthy humility and perhaps even to a healthy humor about it.

But it should bring us to something more: prayer, especially the Eucharist.

I try to celebrate Eucharist every day. I do this because I am a priest and part of the covenant a priest makes with the church at his ordination is to pray the priestly prayer of Jesus, the Eucharist and the Liturgy of the Hours, regularly for the world. But I do it too, more personally, for another reason: The older I get, the less confident, in some ways, I am becoming. I don't always know whether I'm following Christ properly or even know exactly what it means to follow Christ, and so I stake my faith on an invitation that Jesus left us on the night before he died: To break bread and drink wine in his memory and to trust that this, if all else is uncertain, is what we should be doing while we wait for him to return.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: "Do not be angry beyond measure, Lord; do not remember our sins forever. Oh, look on us, we pray, for we are all your people.” (Isaiah 64:9).

Lord, I pray for all my Sunshine Friends that they may realize that despite our imperfections our God reaches out to make us his children who shine like the stars.

Take a Breath

The other day, while driving on the expressway in the snow, I suddenly felt a strong pain in my abdomen like a knot. Since December 1^st, we have been dumped with record amounts of snow except for one brief melt. I must have had a lot of stress that day for here I was having a painful, panic attack while driving on another miserable snowy day.

So, I started to slowly breathe. Yes, we do not breathe when we are experiencing lots of tension. We literally hold our breath. We tend to tense up inside and hold our breath when facing a situation that we feel out of control.

So like a good strudent, I tell myself, yes I also talk to myself and say to: breathe, slowly, calmly. This exercise is called the Relaxation Response and it helps to relieve the pain and fear. I’m slowly breathing in through my nose, taking a moment to hold the breath and slowly exhale like blowing a kiss. As I exhale, I might add a word or phase that helps to keep me calm, “God, give me strength.”

This anxious moment did cause me to reflect upon the Word of God which says, "Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid neither be dismayed; for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." (Joshua1:6).

What does that have to do with having knots in your stomach when driving on slippery roads? If, according to the Word, a sparrow can not fall to the ground without God knowing it, then that means I have the attention of the Almighty. And driving on icy roads in which I feel that I about to lose control of the wheel is cause for me to have God’s attention.

So, if God is aware of me, then I should be of good courage. God is with you, my friend, right now - where you are. Driving to work on another snowy morning, taking your medicine for a cold, battling a life-threatening disease, or starting over again after a lost of a job or relationship.

No matter where you are, or who are you, God has assured you of His presence. It is true, no matter how high one goes in the sky, or how deep one goes in the ocean, one can't get away from God.

So be of good courage. Be not afraid of the difficulties that are in your life, or the trial through which you are going. Things might really be bad, but please acknowledge God with you. You have a friend in Him.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. (Psalm 150:6).

Lord, I pray for all my Sunshine Friends that they be especially blessed and be given great reassurance. May they know of your concern over them. May they never be forgotton. Because if you know of the fallen sparrow, you certainly know about this special, dear one.

Just Let Loose

A Sonshine Friend shared this frightening story about his experience during our recent snowstorms. He was traveling on 104 when he lost control of his truck on black ice. The truck began to spin out of control, not once but three times around. He remembers seeing this ditch, then guard rails and then he feared the cars that were behind him had no way to stop before they would crash into his spinning vehicle. He admitted to me that he had never been so scared in his life. But the hand of God must have been on his shoulder because his truck stayed on the road, never went into any ditch and finally came to a stop in the middle of 104.

What he did not know at the time was that a New York State trooper witnessed the entire spin and slowed all the traffic behind the truck. The trooper was most kind in that he came to the rescue of our frightened driver and shared that he had thought for certain the truck was going to turn over and spin out into the ditch. This trooper slowed the traffic behind our driver so that no one would hit him from behind.

Without a doubt, he prayed in gratitude to God for protecting him and saving him from a serious injury or worse.He recalled that as he was spinning out of control the first time, he tried to steer the wheels but it was no use. He suddenly just “let go of the steering wheel.” When he finally let go of the steering wheel, the truck spun for two more times and ended safely in the middle of the road.

You might be going through your own “slippery experience.” We need to constantly remind ourselves that there is a God who is always underneath us with everlasting arms.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: "You have a mighty arm: Strong is your hand and high is your right hand.” (Psalm 89:13).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that they may let loose of that which they are holding on. The difficulties, the problems, the tensions can be released. May they be encouraged to turn loose and fall into your everlasting arms. May they hold less and less onto their situation, and more and more onto you. In you is their hope.

New Year House Blessing

In doing some reading about the Feast of the Epiphany, I like to encourage a custom of unknown origin that is often mentioned in connection with this day of celebration: the blessing and chalking of the house. Many versions of the ceremony that I’ve come across include these elements.

The reciting of a blessing upon the house (or other dwelling) and those who inhabit it.

The blessing of a piece of chalk that is then used to write a formula above the entry of the house. The formula incorporates the current year with the initials of the wise men (whose names are not recorded in scripture but were given by tradition as Caspar [or Gaspar], Melchior, and Balthasar). This coming Epiphany, it would be written this way:

20 + C + M + B + 11

Some folks note that “C M B” can also stand for “Christus Mansionem Benedicat,” which means “May Christ bless this dwelling.”) This chalking is followed by the sprinkling of the door with holy water.

Like the Magi who brought their gifts to the dwelling place of Jesus, I invite you to imagine the coming year as a house—a space in time that is opening itself to all of us. How will we inhabit the coming year? How will we enter it with mindfulness and with intention? How will we move through the rooms of the coming months in a way that brings blessing to this world?

With these questions in mind, I offer this blessing for you.

The Year as a House: A Blessing

Think of the year as a house: door flung wide in welcome, threshold swept and waiting,
a graced spaciousness opening and offering itself to you.

Let it be blessed in every room. Let it be hallowed in every corner. Let every nook be a refuge and every object set to holy use.

Let it be here that safety will rest. Let it be here that health will make its home. Let it be here that peace will show its face. Let it be here that love will find its way.

Here let the weary come let the aching come let the lost come let the sorrowing come.

Here let them find their rest and let them find their soothing and let them find their place
and let them find their delight.

And may it be in this house of a year that the seasons will spin in beauty, and may it be
in these turning days that time will spiral with joy. And may it be that its rooms will fill
with ordinary grace and light spill from every window to welcome the stranger home.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: "How lovely is your dwelling place, Lord Almighty.” (Psalm 84:1).

Lord I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that their homes may be a welcoming place for family and strangers. Wherever you make your home, may it be blessed, and may you enter this Epiphany and the coming year in peace.

Imagine

The good news for this week is that the world is changed and saved when God the Son comes down here. “Immanuel, which means, ‘God with us.”

Yes, that’s it.

God with us.

God with us in all our flesh-and-blood complaints and messiness. “Christ among the pots and pans” as Teresa of Avila put it. Christ among the barn animals, our dogs and kitties, our horses and cows, and then those quirky magi astrologers and then all the rest of the Gospel’s curious cast of characters.

God with us.

God with the prostitutes and the lepers and the outcast in whose company Jesus would delight again and again. God at the dinner table with a chive stuck between his incisors. God lifting the cup of wine to his lips.

God with us.

God with the little children whose warm brows he touched and blessed. God smiling when a baby was shown to him by a proud new mother. God with us in all our ordinary times and days. God with us, as Jesus would say to bookend Matthew’s gospel, even unto the end of the ages.

Always. With us. Immanuel.

Immanuel is God-with-us in the cancer clinic and at the local nursing home where bodies slump pitifully in wheelchairs pushed up against the hallway walls. Immanuel is God-with-us when the pink slip comes and when the beloved child sneers, "I hate you!"

Immanuel is God-with-us when you pack the Christmas decorations away and, with an aching heart, you realize afresh that your one child never did call over the holidays. Not once.

Immanuel is God-with-us when your dear wife or mother stares at you with an Alzheimer's glaze and absently asks, "What was your name again, dear?"

Ever and always Jesus stares straight into you with his two good eyes and he does so not only when you can smile back but most certainly also when your own eyes are full of tears. In fact, Jesus is Immanuel, "God with you" even in those times when you are so angry with God that you refuse to meet his eyes. But even when you feel like you can't look at him, he never looks away from you. He can't. His name says it all.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: "For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." (Isaiah 9:6).

Lord I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that on Christmas Day we may know that you have come, just as promised. My Christmas blessings to all of you for your prayers and support throughout the year. May Immanuel bring you peace and joy.

Stop Your Complaining

I’m walking into a cable company store to drop off my router and cancel my account. Inside the door, this company has a sign that tells you to press a button, take a ticket and wait.

Waiting for customer service is not one of my strengths. It ranks as “very annoying” and high on my list of complaints. At the counter are five stations in which only three have someone waiting on customers. I notice when one customer had finished, the agent started to mark some papers instead of calling the next number. More waiting. Being ignored also ranks high on my list of complaints. Now only two reps are waiting on customers. Suddenly from the back room, an agent appears at the counter and calls a number. Unfortunately, the other agent leaves her station and we’re back to two servers. Put this compliant on my list. Whenever customer service puts you on hold or worse the phone line gets disconnected—now that’s really annoying.

We are a nation of complainers. Being inconvenienced really stretches our endurance, our patience and respect for people. We need to give ourselves a little pep talk, and tell ourselves that there are far worse injustices being perpetuated around the world, and calmly calm ourselves down. We need to get back into our cars and cool off.

As a photographer, did you ever notice the difference in colors between Advent and Lent. The crimson-purple of advent is not the black-purple of lent. The former symbolizes yearning and longing, the latter repentance. The spirituality of advent is not about repentance, but about carrying tension without prematurely resolving it so that what’s born in us and in our world does not short-circuit the fullness that comes from respecting love’s rhythms.

The crimson-purple is about waiting and how well we hold up in situations not in our control. We look forward to the birth of the Savior, but there’s a tension and pain and lessons to be learned in the waiting period. To reach the sublime moment of Christmas peace, we need to surrender our petty annoyances that reflect our intolerance and criticism of people.

What helps change this selfish attitude is precisely the tension in our lives. In carrying properly our unfulfilled desires we sizzle and slowly let go of the dampness of selfishness. In carrying tension we come to kindling temperature and are made ready for love. Sizzling in tension, not resolving things prematurely. The sublime has to be waited for. Only when there is first enough heat will there be unity. To give birth to what’s divine requires the slow patience of gestation.

Think of how long God has waited for us to come away from our thoughtless, selfish complaints and embraced a spirit that oozes with empathy and forgiveness for customer service folks required to work on holidays and 3am in the morning.

Advent gives us another chance to learn to better handle those waiting moments in our life. When we realize that we have nothing to complain about, we focus our energy on being more compassionate people.

Jesus watches over us as we reflect: “Those who are wayward in spirit will gain understanding; those who complain will accept instruction.”(Isaiah 29:24).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who have been routed to the far corners of the earth. May our time on hold make us a better people and respond when service comes back online, “thanks for you time, you’re the best.”

Do Something Religious

Some folks were afloat in a hot air balloon, touring the countryside hundreds of feet about the ground. They ooohhed and ahhhhed and were having a swell time. Cars appeared to be toys, humans looked like tiny figures, Introductions were done informally and one of the passengers happened to be a priest. Unfortunately the young lad in charge of the balloon didn’t instill confidence in the paying customers.

The balloon suddenly lost elevation. The problem could have been a faulty burner, or an unexpected gust of wind. The captain of this ship panics and he appears to no idea what to do, but all is well within a few seconds. Nonetheless everyone’s anxious and agitated. One of the passengers blurts out to the priest, “Do something religious!” “Should I take up an offering?” father says.

I love that silly punch line. Everyone in church laughed when I told this story. Do something religious. Do what? Pray? Cry aloud for God’s help? Bless or curse the fickle burner? Hey, why not pass the offering plate?

On Friday, as I was leaving my office, a lady in the handicapped parking spot opened her door and shouted, “Can you fix my car, it won’t start.” My immediate response in my head was that I’m no mechanic. Do something religious, humbly meant to ask what was the problem. She said her steering wheel wouldn’t turn when she tried to turn the ignition key. I got inside her car, inserted the key, and jiggled her steering wheel and the car turned on immediately. She was delighted and gave me thumbs up as she got inside her car and drove away. Do something religious might simply mean to jiggle your neighbor’s steering wheel.

Today, as we celebrate the feast of All Saints, I will offer Mass for the 500 names that were emailed to my attention. Do something religious means to pray for these special family members and friends. It meant getting up at 5 in the morning to cut and paste your email and more important to remember in thanksgiving the spirit and faith of these important people you wished to be remembered with God’s care and eternal love.

Do something religious, might be to give a special tour of your new floral shop to a lady physically challenged in her wheelchair. Or, the friend who comes to clean your furnace for the winter, or the neighbor who borrows their sander. It is the friend who flies back from a Denver hospital with her best friend diagnosed with cancer. It’s the person who drives you to your doctor’s appointment or the therapist who tells you not to lose hope in your new job search. It’s the farmer who finds the cap and puts it on his neighbor’s water well or the builder who goes beyond the call of duty and builds a masterpiece.

Do something religious. Say the rosary? Make a novena? Volunteer at the homeless shelter? Or, when the treat or treaters come to your door in the snow, you offer a treat to the parents with a warm cup of cocoa.

Jesus watches over us as we reflect: “He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.” Psalm 25: 9.

Lord, I promise to pray for all my Sonshine Friends who daily do something religious by offering their time and gifts to those in need to bring your joy, peace and love.

I Want to Go Home

I want to go home is the prayer of all prisoners who suffer the indignity of confinement. A Sonshine friend has persevered in the hope that his appeal would win back his freedom. However, to the shock of his parents and friends, his appeal was denied.

I wanted to let this young man know that his family and friends cannot even imagine his disappointment and frustration. However, he will never be forgotten and we would never give up the fight to bring him home. So, I decided to take the five-hour trip to the prison near Saranac Lake to offer our support and friendship. Once again, I called upon the hospitality of St. Bernard’s Parish and found Fr. Mark the new pastor to be a generous host. He informed me that a new chaplain has been appointed to the prison and that this young priest would be attending a gathering in the rectory when I arrive.

As I pulled into the rectory parking lot, I received a phone call from our inmate’s mom that he had literally just hung up on his mother. She managed to tell him that a visitor was coming from Rochester to see him and this sent him into a rage in which he told his mother that he never wanted to see anyone and hung up the phone. “I don’t know what to tell you,” this mom cried.

Yes, there are times no words can express our darkness and despair. A justice process that has failed to show him mercy outraged this young man. Despite the diligent efforts of his appeal attorney, he would be confined for many years with no hope of an early release. The reality of this decision was sinking in and he just wanted to be left alone. I’m not turning back I say to this mother and I told myself I will humbly go to visit him in the morning and let God take care of the rest.

That evening, I met our new young chaplain and shared the story of our young inmate. We exchanged contact numbers and told him that this young man is loved very much by his family and friends and would he please bring that message to his cell from us.

At 7am, I am signed-in at the prison’s visitor shelter waiting to be called in for the visit. A bus from New York City pulls in with a dozen women and children who had come to visit their fathers and dads. The visiting room was like a childcare center with babies crying and kids running around the room with their toys. Finally, my number was called and I marched through a series of locked gates. The guards were pleasant and greeted me kindly. I was escorted to a table in the back to wait for our young friend. A few minutes went by and I noticed the guard walking in my directions. His only words, “The inmate has refused to see any visitors.” As I was escorted out the door. I was not shocked or angry, just sad to not be able to tell him that I love him. I heard a guard whisper under his breath to his colleagues that I had come all the way from Rochester.

Someone shared with me over the weekend that I had actually given this young man a wonderful gift. They were aware that prisoners have no rights and must do as they are told everyday throughout their sentence. The only thing they have in their control is the ability to say “No” to a visit. It offered some dignity to the person who has suffered so much indignity. If this was God’s will for me to make this drive to show him that his parents and friends love him then “let it be done according to your will Lord.” I do not understand and neither do his parents why their son must endure such a painful sentence. We struggle to understated why God has allowed this man to suffer this indignity. His parents ask your prayers to give them wisdom on what their next steps should be to help release their son.

As I drove home, I allowed God to speak to my broken heart through nature. I took a series of photos that I hope would offer inspiration and solace to the heaviness I carried home. At this precise moment, I recall these words from the cross: “My God, My God why have you abandoned me.” Even Our Lord had his moments.

With faith that leads to courage, let us pray for one another when we are confronted by an experience that makes no sense. When we feel that our prayers have fallen on deaf ears. When I was taking photos on the way home, I felt that God was trying to help me to heal and ask that you take a deep look into this journey home that became a true healing experience for me. I love this verse that beautifully expresses what God wants us to do in moments of despair.

Jesus watches over us as we reflect: “For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back.” (Isaiah 54:7).

Lord, I promise to pray for all my Sunshine Friends who feel abandoned in their trials. May the compassionate hand of God take us by the shoulders and allow our tears to fall so that hope and courage may take hold and bring us back to you.

May the Dear Lord Bless You

It was mommy’s birthday and the kids found a birthday cake with her favorite crème icing. This mom had reason to be grateful. A routine medical checkup found cancer that is being treated and a follow-up procedure hopes to keep this miserable disease in remission. However, she was anxious about her mother who was taken to the hospital on her birthday. Later in the day, she learned that the kid’s grandma‘s cancer had returned with a vengeance.

Grandma told her daughter to take the grandkids to Disney World and enjoy a few days in the sun and not to worry. At my suggestion, mom skipped mouseland and we took her kids on a thrilling airboat ride into Alligator Cove in Florida. The kids got to see Florida no one ever sees anymore. There were gators, eagles, “I-bends” better known as egrets, and real cows grazing in the marshes.

As all moms do, she mustered the courage to let her kids celebrate her birthday despite her fears about their grandmom. We held hands around the table and prayed to Jesus to take care of grandma. You could see the tired and worried look on her face. Then her beautiful children sang Happy Birthday. Suddenly after the last refrain, I believe an angel entered the room and whispered this message into the heart of her son when he immediately popped up and said that there’s a second verse to Happy Birthday. A little stunned, we sat in silence and awe as this choir boy on earth sang these sweet words: “May the dear Lord bless you, May the dear Lord bless you mommy! May the dear Lord bless you.”

His words pierced an anxious and aching heart. His tender voice and healing message was like a soothing balm for a troubled soul. Needless to say, mommy reached over the table and gave her son a hug, then she squeezed her daughter and I could see her holding back a tear. I can only imagine that her birthday wish was an urgent plea to God to save her dear mom and keep their grandma safe.

There are moments when no words can express the sorrow and pain. We look for answers but we shed only tears. This “little one” was blessed with a sacred revelation. His song came from the heart of Jesus. A sign that God indeed hears our desperate prayers. I can still hear his sweet voice as he sang with all his heart to his mommy these words: “May the dear Lord bless you.”

Jesus watches over us as we reflect: “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. And he who was seated on the throne said, Behold, I am making all things new.” (Revelations 21: 4-5).

Lord, I promise to pray for all my Sonshine Friends who feel the shroud of death and despair. Help us to surrender our fear and allow the voice of Jesus to pierce our darkness with words of courage and hope that he indeed will make all things new. May the Dear Lord Bless You!

All Will Be Well

I have the privilege of working with college students at Brockport as their chaplain. They have a zest for life and an energy and color that I can only envy. But inside of all this zest and energy, I notice that they lack hope because they do not have the spirit vision. They do not have a big story, a big vision, that can give them perspective beyond the ups and downs of their everyday lives. When their health, relationships, and lives are going well, they feel happy and full of hope; but the reverse is also true. When things aren’t going well the bottom falls out of their world. They don’t have anything to give them a vision beyond the present moment.

In essence, what I am describing might be called “the peace that this world can give us.” In his farewell discourse, Jesus contrasts two kinds of peace: a peace that he leaves us and a peace that the world can give us. What is the difference?

The peace that the world can give to us is not a negative or a bad peace. It is real and it is good, but it is fragile and inadequate. It is fragile because it can easily be taken away from us. Peace, as we experience it ordinarily in our lives, is generally predicated on feeling healthy, loved, and secure. But all of these are fragile. They can change radically with one visit to the doctor, with an unexpected dizzy spell, with sudden chest pains, with the loss of a job, with the rupture of a relationship, with the suicide of a loved one, or with multiple kinds of betrayal that can blindside us. We try mightily to take measures to guarantee health, security, and the trustworthiness of our relationships, but we live with a lot of anxiety, knowing these are always fragile. We live inside an anxious peace.

What Jesus offers is a peace that is not fragile, that is already beyond fear and anxiety, that does not depend upon feeling healthy, secure, and loved in this world. What is this peace?

At the last supper and as he was dying, Jesus offered us his gift of peace. And what is this? It is the absolute assurance the we are connected to the source of life in such a way that nothing, absolutely nothing, can ever sever - not bad health, not betrayal by someone, indeed, not even our own sins. We are unconditionally loved and held by the source of life itself and nothing can change that. Nothing can change God’s unconditional love for us.

If that is true, and it is, then we have an assurance of life, wholeness, and happiness beyond the loss of youth, the loss of health, the loss of reputation, the betrayal of friends, the suicide of a loved one, and even beyond our own sin and betrayals. In the end, as Julian of Norwich says, all will be well, and all will be well, and every manner of being will be well.

Jesus watches over us as we reflect: “I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” Psalm 4:8).

Lord, I promise to pray for all my Sonshine Friends whose peace is fragile and anxious. When feeling broken, listen in your heart to Our Lord's promise that says: "I leave you a peace that no one can take from you." Know that in your worse fears, I hold you unconditionally close to my heart.

Shaking Things Up

A priest was in charge of the garden within a famous Zen temple. He had been given the job because he loved the flowers, shrubs, and trees. Next to the temple there was another, smaller temple where there lived a very old Zen master.

One day, when the priest was expecting some special guests, he took extra care in tending to the garden. He pulled the weeds, trimmed the shrubs, combed the moss, and spent a long time meticulously raking up and carefully arranging all the dry autumn leaves. As he worked, the old master watched him with interest from across the wall that separated the temples.

When he had finished, the priest stood back to admire his work. "Isn't it beautiful," he called out to the old master. "Yes," replied the old man, "but there is something missing. Help me over this wall and I'll put it right for you."

The priest lifted the old fellow over and set him down. Slowly, the master walked to the tree near the center of the garden, grabbed it by the trunk, and shook it. Leaves showered down all over the garden.

"There," said the old man, "you can put me back now."

Jesus often shook people up when he felt that things were getting a little too comfortable. People often used the term stress when their lives are out of control. However, if you feel burnout because you are feeling stagnated from your work or personal life then find ways to “branch out.”

That could mean putting in for a job that is more challenging, or learning a new set of skills to make your job more meaningful. If you really are at a dead end, and finding another job is not an option, then branch out in your personal life—ramp up the excitement level outside work by getting started on that list of things you would like to do “if only,” or things you have in the back of your mind that you would like to try but just have not taken the first step yet. Perhaps you can take a class and learn to play a musical instrument or pick up your camera and take a walk in the beautiful of the season or read a spiritual book. I need to get back into the woods and take more autumn photos like today’s “walk in the woods” image.

Jesus watches over us as we reflect: “In that day the branch of the Lord will be beautiful and glorious, and the fruit of the land will be the pride and glory of the survivors in Israel.” (Isaiah 4:2).

Lord, I promise to pray for all my Sonshine Friends who need to branch out and see their beautiful within. Give us the eyes to take a moment to walk in the woods this Autumn and see the glory of your creation.

Looking Sideways

I learned a secret that most women have known all their lives. It is the trait known as “looking sideways.” In plain English, you can hear your mother shouting: “Pay attention.” But my lesson was about learning how to look at things from a different perspective.

At yesterday Peddler’s Fair, I was signing calendars for a parishioner when from the side there were three little children about age four jumping up and down pointing fingers at some of the animal’s photos. What caught my eye was the sheer wonder and joy as their enthusiasm went from the horses grooming one another, to the owl, then to the eagle. They were hopping around the photos, jumping for joy as if they had never seen such wonders in their life for the first time. There was sheer joy in their hearts and it knocked my socks off to think that these “little ones” were entertained by the images that were taken many years ago. But you see my friends, you have to pay attention to your surroundings.

How often do we sit and groan about life and look forward instead of sideways to take notice of the interesting things going on in our lives. Of course, women have known this truth all their lives that in order to make sure something is clean you have to look sideways to make sure all the drips have been collected.

Are there any drips in your life that need wiping up? Are you stuck at this stage in your life doing the same things over again without any joy? I appreciated the support of my parishioners encouraging me to share my photos at this public show. To my surprise, I have been invited to bring the gallery to two other shows in Hilton and Brockport in November and December. Who would have thought that these images would be welcomed into people’s homes? But the best part of the show was looking sideways and watching those children laughing and enjoying themselves.

God knows when the drips in our lives (problems) cast a shadow of doubt and make us down in the dumps. We need to learn to look sideways and take notice of the many ways God's spirit of love makes itself present in our life. For me, children laughing and dancing around the animals were the delight of my day.

Jesus watches over us as we reflect: “But the eyes of the Lord are on those who love him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love.” (Psalm 33:18).

Lord, I promise to pray for all my Sonshine Friends whose eyes need to look sideways for all the ways you come to our side to bring comfort and hope. Help us all to pay attention to your goodness in our daily lives and look sideways.

Gated Community

Over the summer, I was invited to an engagement party for a young couple and found myself at a table of retired Catholic school teachers. While they lamented the closing of many wonderful Catholic schools, the focus of the stories turned to their new lives as “grandmothers in training.”

One new grandmother shared that taking care of her new granddaughter was a joy that had its challenges. She was living with her daughter and son-in-law in a “gated community.” She explained that there was a gate at the top of the stairs to prevent the baby from falling. Then there was another gate at the bottom of the stairs from going up the stairs. There was another gate in front of the basement stairs and then the most important gate was the one to the laundry room where the family kept the dog’s food and water bowl. If one were not watchful, the little one would crawl her way to the dog food bowl and help herself to a tasty snack.

Despite the gates in this home, this twenty year plus retired educator shared her experience and wisdom in teaching this crawler about life, reading her granddaughter stories and playing with her blocks and stuffed toys. It was a new vocation that brought her much enthusiasm and joy to her life.

Still, I wonder how many people feel that their churches have put up gates that prevent them from experiencing this joyful spirit. I am aware of those misunderstandings that plague our minds and souls and result in people feeling unwelcomed and unaccepted in their faith communities. But as I share with my college students, we are all searching for joy and Jesus knew the best place to find that joy in life. He simply taught to take all our wonderful gifts that we possess and help our kids with their newborn child, or sit by the side of a parent in their bedroom as they wait the glory of God or take our neighbor to the their favorite restaurant, the Olive Garden. My apologies to my Italian Sonshine Friends who claim this is not a real Italian restaurant but the neighbor believes they make the best sauce in town.

Jesus does not expect all of us to walk the road to Calvary and die on a cross. Although sometimes we felt crucified by the church, our family or employer. Despite, these painful moments that take away the joy, I want you to refocus your heart on the fact that God wants us to take the risk to bring His love to those who feel helpless, unwanted or misunderstood. Those of us, who chose not to follow Jesus to the cross, are home doing hard good work like washing the dishes, taking out the garbage, working two jobs and mending fences with our in-laws.

Jesus watches over us as we reflect: “Lift up your heads, O you gates; be lifted up, you ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in.” (Psalm 24:7).

Lord, I promise to pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are willing to take the risks to forgive those who have hurt them in the past, bring comfort to those who seem unlovable and wrap our arms around those who need God's love. That’s when the spirit of joy takes over our life and we are bridge builders who make the glory of God shine on earth as it is in heaven.

Dancing with Molly

This weekend, I was invited to a 4^th of July picnic and fireworks with some special friends. There was one stunning moment that I shall never forget. Little Molly is the apple of the eye of her family. A little girl born with special needs, yet, despite her physical and mental limitations, she walks around with an infectious smile.

One of her adopted aunts was playing bubbles with her. She was trying to get Molly to blow through the little tube to make bubbles. But the moment came when all the adult women of the family gathered in the living room for a magical moment. All the women started to dance with this “little one” singing at the top of their lungs the “hokey poky.”

Little Molly started to twirl around and around and mom and grand-mom and all her adopted aunts were raising their hands in the air smiling and singing getting Molly to smile and laugh. To some it might look pretty silly, but to me it was a precious moment like the seventy-two in the gospel bringing their neighbors a message about God’s infectious love for each of them, despite their limitations, theirs weaknesses and sins. It was a message of hope and pure joy.

Molly’s messengers were dancing and surrounded her with joy and laughter to make her feel like a special little girl despite the fact that the world may only see her physical and mental limitations. In the eyes of these special women, they were sending their precious Molly a message that she is indeed a "child of God.”

Somewhere, as we grow older we begin to accumulate lots of fears. Mostly about our survival. How will we retire on a dwindling pension, or make ends meet when unemployed, live on Medicare, or after college graduation find a job that will use our degree and training? Lots of stress that takes emotional energy and results in medical problems. We begin to despair, lose hope and the joy of life is taken away.

Molly's adopted aunts sang their hearts out to let this little girl know that she was perfect in their eyes. Can you believe that God sends us the same joyful message in our hearts that sings that no sin whatever is unforgivable and that every one of us can cheat death. What these messengers offered was liberation–-not from sin and death–-but from the fear of sin and death.

About nine o’clock grandma started handing out sparklers and lighted multi-colored wanes to all the kids. As the evening grew dark, the kids put the lighted wanes on their heads or around their necks and wrists. It looked like a court of princes and princesses. The kids were dressed up for a parade. Imagine a parade in heaven where you are a kid again, running around with a sparkle in your hand and a lighted wane on your head and all God’s children living in harmony and joy.

God prays for us as we reflect: “Let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy.” (Psalm 5:11).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are in need of your reassurance and liberation. Like Molly, may we find ourselves surrounded by our Lord’s joy and laughter who wants us to live without the fear of sin and death.

Dessert from Dad

At the end of my Father’s Day Blessing, I told the community to give their dads an extra dessert. I remember my dad and I going to Andy’s Ice Cream Parlor on Hudson Avenue to have dessert. He liked to order a vanilla milkshake. Not today's pancake syrup that ends up like a lump in your tummy. Rather, these shakes were made with real ice cream and real milk. They also were made in the old fashion stainless steel cylinder that kept the ice crème cold.

Yesterday, I had this craving for an old-fashioned vanilla ice crème shake. On the eve of Father’s Day, my dad must have been nudging me to sit down for a moment and share a treat we use to enjoy together. Where does one find an old fashioned milkshake? I was in the mood for a real old fashioned shake made with real cold milk, skim milk would work just fine and homemade ice crème.

I never tasted a Cold Stone Creamery milk shake so I gave them a try. Regretfully, I discovered that instead of cold milk, the young person poured some pancake concoction into a plastic container that made the shake stiff as a board. I prefer to taste the cold milk and see the lumps of ice crème in the stainless steel cup.

That’s what I miss about my dad, someone just to pull up a stool and let him listen to my day. Someone who really was interested in what I was doing and someone who had the best ideas when it came to treating yourself to your favorite dessert.

That’s what God our Father has in store for you. Think of heaven where your favorite dessert will be made, “just the way you like it.” Not some gummy imitation, but served with the real fruit, or real vanilla bean, or real cold milk, or real “hot fudge and peanuts.”

Imagine God decked out with a soda fountain hat and apron ready to take your order and smiling with a grin that says wait till you get a taste of this.

God prays for us as we reflect: “ Be wise, my young son and daughter, and bring joy to my heart. (Proverbs 27:11).

Lord, I pray for all my Sunshine dads who are at home with you in heaven or the dads who are cuddling their babies and "little ones" to sleep tonight with a bedtime story. May we always be grateful for their sacrifices that they make daily in this life to keep us safe and warm. Bless their hands and all their good works and give them “Sunny Days and double desserts.”

Greeter in Heaven

I had been called to provide trauma services to a local group home staff after the death of a long-time client. Instead of sorrow, I came home with joy.

After the debriefing, I met one of the residents at the group home who was a special case in the state. Her nurse shared that this young lady was on a respirator and required 24/7 nursing care.

Her mother was visiting that morning and the nurse brought her young patient in her wheelchair to the dining room. Her smile was childlike and she was coloring in a book of numbers. She looked up and asked me my name. When I said: Matthew, she immediately responded that it was a beautiful name. The smile on her faced made her glow with delight. I asked what her name was and she happily said that it was Miriam. Miriam was the prophetess and older sister of Moses and Aaron. The origin of the name Miriam is unclear, but some think it comes from the Egyptian meaning “beloved.” In the Hebrew, Miriam comes from the verb meaning obstinacy and stubbornness and both her mom and the nurse agreed that sometimes this young lady displayed this character.

Her mother sat by her daughter’s side and watched her carefully for Miriam would often get excited and jump up from her wheelchair pulling out her respirator. Her nurse would gently coaxed Miriam to settle down and put the respirator tube back in its place.

I told Miriam that she had an amazing smile and what a wonderful greeter in heaven she would be. Instead of St. Peter who might be asking us probing questions about our poor judgments, I suggested that Miriam would make a great greeter in heaven because her smile would immediately take away any fears. Miriam’s smile simply brings peace and joy to anyone who looks upon her.

Miriam mom was most taken back with this complement of her daughter. She thanked me for the generous words, but I shared that her daughter while misunderstood by her outward limitations possessed a wonderful charm and gift that you could see all over her face.

In my ministry, many people have worried themselves sick or as one patient called it” brain freeze” that he was going to hell. The messages in the classroom and from the pulpit were not very uplifting or consoling. I had been called upon to bring comfort to a grieving staff, but found myself in the presence of the spirit of a young woman bound to her chair and oxygen tank yet full of delight and joy. Her face radiated the glory of God’s love and peace that the Lord wants us to feel despite the messages of doom and gloom.

How many times are we judged by our outward appearance or the misdeeds of our past. Miriam like the Lord sees only the good in our hearts and always welcomes the broken and fearful soul into his Kingdom. The Lord comes not to condemn but to redeem and bring us eternal peace. Remember that the next time you feel your spiritual soul is on empty and needs a shock of Miriam to spice up your troubled soul.

God prays for us as we reflect: “But with you there is forgiveness’ therefore you are revered.” (Psalm 130:4).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends that they will be greeted by one like Miriam as they approach your heavenly gates. May all their good deeds go before them and their poor judgments be keep locked away in a vault of forever after. Peace be with you all my Sonshine friends and thank you Miriam for sharing your wonderful smile of joy.