All Things Are Possible With God

 Five loaves and two fish. The skeptical disciple Phillips says, "How in the world are we going to feed these people? Are you kidding me? Five thousand people." But that's what the little boy had and he offered it to Jesus. Five loaves and two fish. Kind of hard to believe what happened next. Jesus blesses those five loaves and two fish. He asks the 5000 people to sit down and he told his disciples, "Distribute the food to the people and feed the people." They did. So much so that after the people had eaten, Jesus had the disciples collect the leftovers and filled 12 baskets with the bread left over. The lesson is very simple with Jesus, a little becomes a lot.

 

On Thursday, Fr. Adam was dining at the table of Bishop Mack in his home. The bishop had drove this young priest to Scranton where the Prime Bishop received him as a priest in the PNCC. He was now being served the bishop’s signature dish, pork chops with mashed potatoes. Fr. Adam Kotas’ vocation to be a priest started in Chicago where he studied his theology at the Polish seminary, SS. Cyril & Methodius Seminary in Orchard Lake, Michigan founded in 1885. He shared that once he graduated he had to find a diocese who was willing to accept him to serve in parish ministry.

 

His first assignment found him serving in the Diocese of San Jose in California. In his seminary studies, he learned about Fr. Houdur and the struggle of the Polish people in their generation. As he continued to work in California, his suffered from a severe asthma condition due to the smug and unhealthy air in that state. He requested a transfer for his health and the diocese sent him to the Diocese in Las Vegas where his health improved due to the drier climate. It was here he met a parishioner from our cathedral in Lancaster who shared her love for the Polish National Church and once again Fr. Adam found him being drawn to inquire about the PNCC.

 

He contacted Bishop Mack who welcomed this young priest with open arms and invited him to serve in our diocese. But surprising, Fr. Adam had no church but he had this inspiration to start a Polish Catholic parish in Las Vegas. He had met many Polish National Catholics who were sheep without a shepherd.  Only 36 years old, this enthusiastic young disciple was willing to start a new church from scratch. Like the disciples who wondered how would they be able to feed such a large crowd with so little food. Fr. Adam trusted Our Lord and with the help of his dad and some Polish people found an abandoned building that once served as a church. But it was empty building, no stain glass windows, no statues of saints, no holy water fonts, no altar or candles. Then the miracle occurred, Bishop Bernie in New Jersey had a church that had closed. Fr, Adam inquired if the church had anything he could take with him to fill his new church. Bishop Bernie agreed and a plan was set in motion.

 

The five loaves and two fish became a baptismal font, stations of the cross, statures of St. Joseph and the Blessed Mother, an Easter candle holder, a pulpit, holy water fonts, even a tabernacle that somehow, he would have to figure out how to pry out of the marble altar. So, our young priest changed his flight plans and instead of visiting his parents in Chicago, he rerouted his plane ticket to fly to New Jersey. A parishioner from Las Vegas would join him in New Jersey and the two men planned to rent a U-Haul truck and bring their new-found church supplies to the empty building and create a scared space where Fr. Adam would call his new church “Divine Mercy.”

 

Fr. Adam plans to start celebrating Mass in September when the building officially becomes church property. He will still need to search for an altar, a sound system, computer, copier, chairs for the congregations and what he would like is a painting in the image of Jesus as Divine Mercy.

 

Only God knows what the five loaves and tow fish two fish will become. From an abandoned church, this parish could become a campus for medicine and healing, a hospice or hospital, or a school for physically challenged children or a recovery center for people with various addictions. I shared with Fr. Adam that there are many hurting people in the world and his sacred space would be a sign of hope that God is in our midst to bring comfort and strength to his community in Las Vegas. He shared that he liked that vison. I encourage all of you to pray that the Lord will bless this young priest and his new community that from so little, many will come to join this faith community. Like the multitude who followed Jesus and grew hungry, people would be fed with the Bread of Life and find a home that will bring them closer to the heart of Christ.

 

You get my point. Jesus Christ lives in you. With you, he can do extraordinary things because all things are possible. Think like this. You and that U-Haul are travelling from New Jersey to Las Vegas with all those holy sacred vessels that just might change the world. 

 

Lord I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are starting out on new adventures. Help us to realize that creativity is everywhere you look for it. And it is in you. Learn how to feed yourself a steady diet of inspiration and you will live and love more creatively.

 

 

What Kind of Shepherd Are You?

 

It’s raining outside and I am shepherd of an enchanted forest.

 

I have trimmed thousands of grapevines to keep the trees from being strangled, Last Sunday afternoon while it was raining I decided to walk alongside a deer trail to pick up the litter and garbage from the past hundred years. You see if you are a shepherd of people or land, someone has to pick up the garbage. Along the path, I find rubber tubing, glass bottles, electric outlets and assorted pieces of plastic. The path is slanted, I need to be hugging the ground with a trash bag in one hand and my other hands grabbing onto a limb or tree truck to prevent from falling. As I follow the deer trail, it reminds me of Our Lord who as our Good Shepherd leads the way.

 

However, God thunders against the human shepherds who are failures at shepherding. 

 

Every person has many of God’s children in their care.

 

Who are these miserable shepherds, these failures, with whom God is so indignant? Well, you can tell who they are by what God is angry at in them. They are the human beings who have not cared for the sheep, and those sheep are God’s people.

 

Well, what did the shepherds fail to do when they failed to care for the sheep? They didn’t help the sheep get nurture; they drove the sheep away. They led the sheep in wrong directions. They scattered the sheep, so that instead of being one flock, the sheep were divided against each other into diverse small groups.

 

So, think about it this way. 

 

Do you spend your time on foolish, frivolous things that help nobody? Do you babble about things in your family or church on Facebook that are not your business?  Do you think you are caring for God’s people when you do this? Do you gossip and undermine the reputation of others? Do you sow discord in your neighborhood, in your church, in your family? Are you a divisive presence in your community? Do you think you are caring for God’s children when you are doing this stuff?  This is like the trash that I was picking up in my enchanted forest. It had been put here by people who were not mindful that their actions would harm the land.

 

Surely no one of us is so stupid or ignorant as to suppose that God’s thundering against miserable shepherds is meant only for priests who aren’t good enough. We priests read about our feet of clay every day. However, that thundering is a warning for each one of us.

 

Every person has many of God’s children in his care. The people who collect your trash and recyclables on your street, the child in the row behind you who kicks your seat on the plane, the annoying non-stop talker at your dinner table, your grouchy parishioners who blame politicians for the Covid pandemic, your old and highly dependent mother-in-law, your very imperfect spouse—each of these is one of God’s children, and each of them is in your care—a little or maybe even a lot.

 

I had collected 40 pounds of trash when I came across a piece of wire on the ground, I pulled and another three feet came out of the ground. Next to this wire I spotted barbed wire wrapped around a tree trunk. I thought I had gotten rid of all the barbed wire. Yes, there always seems to be more trash that comes to the surface that needs to be removed. For this job, I would have to come back with some wire cutters to complete this cleanup.

 

I imagine that barbed wire is like all the people you are ask to shepherd especially, the ones that don’t bend and are hard to work with. But all things are possible with our Shepherd, whose grace we need to do it well.

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that we be more careful not to be miserable shepherds. You are welcomed to borrow my barbed wire cutters anytime if you need to remove some nasty habits and trash from your life. May Our Lord bless you with the humility to admit your weaknesses and may we be grateful for His mercy that inspires us to be the best of shepherds to those in our care and to one another in this cathedral.

 

 

When Failure Turns to Hope

 

On the Fourth of July, my wife and I were invited to a picnic at my sister and brother’s in-law’s home in Buffalo. Mary, my wife’s sister, brings out desserts and she is a fantastic cookie baker. On the tray are a variety of cookies, so I reach for one and it was delicious. I ask what’s in the middle of the cookie and Mary responds “cinnamon.” Well, since I am in my “senior status” learning new hobbies, I asked for the recipe. Didn’t need rhubarb, but where does one find “cinnamon chips.” So off I search at TOPS in the baking section and wouldn’t you know it, they have chocolate chips, butterscotch and mint, but no cinnamon. Yes, there I go to Google and it says Wal Mart carries cinnamon chips, but once again I come up empty handed for they have a dozen variety of chips but no cinnamon. Lucky for me I know there’s a bakery supply store called Lori’s In the Rochester regional market. I ask the clerk and he immediately shows me to a section with hundreds of jars that contain all kinds if spices including to my delight cinnamon.  

 

Today’s gospel is a challenge for some of Jesus closest friends, he tells his apostles, time to get going and spread the good news. Notice, he didn’t say advertise on TV, go on the internet, buy billboard space, organize a community fun festival to pack the synagogue. He simply sent his disciples to the villages and we learn that they are able to perform miracles.

 

Nice story you say, but what does that have to do with us. Don’t you know? Something that Jesus does in all his amazing miracle stories. He collaborates with humanity. He needs Mary to be born in her womb. He needs his disciples to pass around two fish and five loaves to feed five thousand hungry people. He sends his disciples out two by two to spread the good news of God’s love that comes through by their compassion for the sick and possessed. 

 

You are being asked by God this morning to spread the good news and perform miracles. What is the miracle...to pack the pews with young faces who are lost, to bring families and their children to this place to find rest from their chaos of their lives. Believe me, just ask any young parent and they will tell you their life is a rat race. 

 

But you have tried how many times in the past, and when you look around how do you feel? More like a failure. Sounds like Jesus from last week, he had performed amazing feats, brought a child back from the dead, healed the blind, forgave sinners and what’s the response of his neighbors in his own village. Rejection. Did he think he was a failure?

 

I had this idea that I would bake cinnamon cookies for all of you in church and hand them out after Mass. Following Mary’s recipe, I mixed the ingredients using the cinnamon chips, rolled them out into logs and placed them on the cookie tray into the oven. As I am making the second batch, Susan, my spouse, notices the chips and says are they the right kind for the recipe? In my mind, I’m thinking the clerk said these were cinnamon chips. So, the first batch of cookies are done and I pulled out of the oven. I tasted one cookie and sure enough, she is right. The clerk did not sell me cinnamon chips like chocolate chips, but these were hard like bark, the kind you brew to make herbal tea. I never knew the difference and of course being a novice baker never checked. I had to throw out the whole batch of cookies and the ingredients and felt like a total failure. Maybe I need to give up baking anything. What’s the lesson Jesus is trying to teach me this time.

 

What was Jesus response when he was not accepted by his neighbors, he simply left his village, told his disciples I need your help in spreading the good news, that’s collaboration. 

 

The challenge for me in making cinnamon chip logs was finding the right kind of cinnamon chips. The lesson from Jesus was to preserve and not give up hope.  So, this Sunday, I handed out cookies to everyone as they were leaving church and there were lots of smiles and compliments. 

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are feeling like a failure in life. Remind them that we have been blessed with spiritual blessings that include love, perseverance compassion and hope. These are the ingredients that will make our lives sweet and joyful again.

 

 

Blood Pressure Off the Roof

 

My dear friends from Nashua came for a visit and left me some rhubarb from their garden. Well our retired or more preferred label “senior priest” looks up grandma’s recipe for rhubarb crumble. It said cheat and buy a pie crust but I decided to challenge myself and found a flaky pie crust recipe.

 

Following grandma’s recipe, we started chopping the rhubarb that called for three cups rhubarb but I had only 2 ¼. No problem I’ll just run down the street to TOPS in Attica and get a few more stalks. To my surprise, no rhubarb in the store. This means we have to drive into Batavia and check the TOPS produce. Again, I see none in the veggie case so I ask a young clerk if they have any rhubarb. His response, I just started working, so I nudge him and said, “Could you go ask someone if there is any in the back.” Somewhat bewildered he walks off, several minutes later he appears and says there’s none in the store. You got to be kidding I say to myself. Isn’t this rhubarb season. Back in my car, I google Batavia, NY farm markets and see several outside of town, so I call the first one and voicemail says, "Hi, this is Stan and Judy we’re not here right now.” Now the blood pressure is really hitting the roof. I’m short three quarters of a cup and no stalk to be found in Batavia. Then I realize what about Walmart grocery. Google again, rhubarb and Walmart and there’s a photo of the plant. So off I drive, walk into the veggie section, scan the aisle and again none to be found. I see two Walmart produce ladies and “kindly” ask: “where’s the rhubarb," and they reply, "we don’t carry rhubarb in the store."

 

At that moment, I wanted to show them my cell phone screen with a picture of the rhubarb in the Walmart store. I held my ground, but inside we were hitting the roof. Whose else might carry this plant. There’s BJ’s but to save time, I call and a young says, “what’s rhubarb?” No, I say rhubarb, it’s a vegetable.” Dead silence, "can you ask if BJ’s carries rhubarb." Several minutes later, the voice comes back and says, "sorry we don’t have rhubarb...have a nice day." That’s it! I’m ready to explode when I turn to our maker and pray: Lord, what are You trying to teach me here. I just need another cup to finish the darn recipe. The farm markets are closed on Wednesday, the groceries stores ran out and I am short. Not only in the recipe but I have a short fuse. I make a left hand turn to start out of town when out of the corner of my eye I spot a food stand along the road with the word printed on the sign:” RHUBARB.” Really, I say to myself, you guys have been hiding all the time.

 

I pull over, get out of the car and shout to this guy. Any rhubarb, he says, I just picked 5 baskets today. Lucky for me he had five stalks left. Now I wonder was there a moment Jesus blood pressure hit the roof.

 

You bet, like the time he started teaching in his own town and the response comes: Who is this kid? Who does he think he is teaching us anything about God. Isn't he Mary’s child down the street, didn’t his dad use to make table and chairs before he passed. Worse, it says, that outside of a few healings, Jesus could work no miracles in his own village.

 

How sad, when you put people in a box. We assume we know all about them and that they have nothing valuable to offer us so we close our eyes and hope they go away. Or worse, we hear and see them and our blood pressure goes off the roof because we fail to take a breath and see things will work out in the end. Like I knew all the time, this guy would be selling rhubarb at four in the afternoon after checking out a half dozen other stores.

 

Lord when we hit the wall, our blood pressure boils over from stuff we can’t control or put people in a box, give us patience and the wisdom to slow down, and let go and allow Your grace to relieve our stress and know good things will come if we just stop being so miserable and stubborn and allow your grace to take root in our hearts.

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends, know at this very moment I’m getting the rhubarb crumble ready to put in the oven. After it cooled out of the oven, we tasted the rhubarb crumble and to my surprise, it was sweet and yummy. My soulmate said, now aren’t you glad I pushed you to make the rhubarb.. Sometimes all our faith needs is a little courage and perserverance. Sounds like the ingredients Jesus used when his the religious leaders and his own people rejected him. Instead of getting upset and boiling over, in faith he persevered and continued to heal and spread the good news. Courage and perserverance. Sounds like a good recipe to take home today. Don’t you think!

 

 

You got to have the tools

 

So, you might wonder what does a retired priest do in his spare time. Today’s photo gives you a glimpse of what I have been working on for the past 11 years.

 

I am blessed to serve as caregiver of an amazing piece of heaven that we refer to as “Reviresco.” In Latin, the word means “to be green again.” So, this weekend, I spread wildflower seeds over two berms that had been overrun with weeds in the hope of restoring beauty to the hills and inviting monarch butterflies to taste its sweet nectar. My hope is to stop mowing grass and create meadow grasses throughout the property.

 

We have designed and cleared many trails to walk and enjoy the beauty, but throughout the seasons large tree branches will fall and block the trails. The chainsaw you see in the gator comes in handy, but I have been warned by my soulmate to be very careful. Thanks to a good friend, the chains are sharpened and he has taught this amateur forester how to girdle the trees and clean up the forest so that the next generation of woods will grow healthy and add to the beauty of the forest.

 

What else do you see in the gator?  Yes, we have a gator but not for fun, although you are most welcomed to come and visit. I would gladly give you a “Disney” ride through the forest where you mostly will see deer, fawns, rabbits, chipmunks, racoons, hawks, a great heron and if you’re really lucky an owl flying through the trees.

 

The tree loppers and metal clippers have cut down 10,000 grapevines, barbed wire fence that bordered the land has been torn down, an invasive plant known as honeysuckle continues to be one of my daily chores since they number in the thousands, and we have cleared and carted away over 13, 000 pounds of metal and debris to the local scrap metal yard. However, there is more debris buried underneath the soil since this was a common practice for farmers in past decades to put their trash in some corner of their land. For now, the boxes of trash bags and colored tape are used to marked the areas for safety as we continue to collect more debris as it comes to the surface. 

 

Now imagine, if Jesus had a gator, what tools do you think He would bring to clear the land to make way for the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. Simply put, the Lord’s gator would run on “unconditional love.” His would carry loads compassion and mercy and coping with the messes we often make in our ordinary lives lots of patience and understanding.  It can be really hard to accept that we are loved unconditionally; often our experience is limited and cut by lack of love. My arms and legs often get cut up by the thorns from the honey locust, and I can imagine that Jesus gets cut by the hurt we cause through our indifference and intolerance.

 

No doubt, Jesus is hopeful that His crop of humanity will grow and flourish. He provides the rain and sunshine and simply asks for our faith so that He can shower us with joy. Yes, our God does want us to be happy and at peace. You are forgiven and loved beyond belief. Let that sink in.

 

Now I have a favor to ask you my Sonshine Friends. My hope for Reviresco is that before I die, I will find an educational institution that will maintain the beauty of this forest and streams and use to teach future generations how to conserve and preserve the beauty of the land. To date, no success, but if you have any contacts, let me know. Have them email me at: drmattkawiak@gmail.com

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that that we are forgiven and love beyond belief. Let that sink in!

 

 

Life is Stormy

 

Do you ever feel like you're being called to something new? Called to a new place? Called to do something different, be someone different, be more yourself? I am in that moment right now as I transition from serving as a Catholic parish priest, to retirement or what we now refer to as “senior status.” 

 

We all have these feelings, these senses, these epiphanies at different times in our lives. And sometimes we listen to them and sometimes we ignore them. Or, more likely we “freak out.” The theme that we read in this week’s Gospel is the theme about the storm. It's a great theme. Why?  Because our lives are stormy. There are a lot of sunny days, but there are a lot of storms in life. In the Gospel, Jesus and the disciples are going out on the lake, you know, on that day when evening had come, that's when we're weary. Hopefully, we wake up in the morning excited for the day, ready to get at it. Not every day maybe, but by the time we come to the evening, as the days go on, things don't go as we expect them. Life is unpredictable and that can wear us down. And so, by the evening, people are weary and disciples, they're weary, Jesus is weary.

 

Jesus says to them, "Let's go across to the other side." What's the other side in your life right now? If Jesus said to you today, "Let's go across the other side. Come with me and let's go across the other side." What does that mean to you? What would he be inviting you to?  Because I think today he is inviting you and me to go with him to the other side. 

 

And maybe that's got something to do with your relationship with God. Maybe it's got something to do with your job. Maybe it's got something to do with your spirituality. Maybe that’s got something to do with your church?  Maybe it's got some to do with your health, your marriage, your children. You know what it is for you and I know what it is for me during my “so-called retirement “when Jesus says to us today, "Come with me and let's go across to the other side." We don't want to, right? Sometimes we don't want to or perhaps more correctly, we want to be on the other side but we don't want to go across the lake to the other side. We want Jesus to just sort of pick us up and drop us on the other side. We don't actually want to make the journey. We don't want to make the transition, or put more bluntly makes changes in our life.  And that's why we're resistant, because we're mindful that out on the lake, hey, it's stormy out there. The lake's unpredictable, life out on the water is unpredictable and can turn very quickly and can get very scary. 

 

So, when Jesus comes and says, "Hey, guys, let's go out on the lake and go across the other side," we are a little bit hesitant, or shall I say, obstinate, I’m not going nowhere, another way of saying “I’m not willing to make changes in my life because it’s too scary.” 

 

Jesus and the disciples, they get in the boats, they go out there. A great storm of wind arose and the waves began to beat the boat and the boat began to fill with water. Where's Jesus? He's asleep. What does this tell us? 

 

Like so many things. Firstly, it tells us most of the things we worry about, Jesus would sleep through. Most of the things we worry about, Jesus would sleep through because he knows there's nothing to worry about. We know that most of the things we worry about never actually happen. Imagine how much more Jesus knows that. So, all the disciples, they are freaking out.

 

Jesus is asleep and they finally wake him up. Right? What do they say to him? "Teacher, do you not care? You don't care about us. We're perishing here and you're asleep, taking a nap." Jesus calms the waves, says, "Peace. Be still." Calms the waves. And he says to them, "Why are you afraid?" What's he really saying? He's really saying, "Hey guys, I'm right here. I've been taking care of you for almost three years now, you know? Why are you afraid? Haven't you learnt yet, if you're with me, you're going to be okay? The problem is when you step away from me, that's when you should worry. You step away from me, that's a real storm. That's a storm to be worried about, but you're with me, why are you afraid?"

 

So, there are two questions I want you to think about today. What is the other side that Jesus is inviting you to journey with him to? And the second question is, what is the storm in your life at this time? We've all got a storm in our lives. Sometimes it's an afternoon shower and sometimes it's a hurricane but we've all got storms in our lives. There's always something happening. There’s change for me in my retirement and soon there will be change for you. What is the storm in your life right now? And where is Jesus in the storm? Are you with Jesus in the storm?  Is Jesus asleep? Because if he's asleep, he's telling you, "It's okay, we're going to get through this, this will pass. Stay with me. You'll be all right. I'll make sure you're all right." That's what he's saying to us. Jesus is telling us that we are going to be fine. He is telling you that no matter what changes are coming, you all are going to be fine. What's the storm in your life and what journey is God inviting you to? Come to the other side. 

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are in the midst of a storm and afraid to make the journey that God is inviting us not to worry for He is telling us that we are going to be just fine.

 

In the Shadow of Your Goodness

 

SPECIAL NOTICE:  Please forward the email address of family and friends who you think would like to receive this Sonshine to my email address: drmattkawiak@ gmail.com 

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I called Denny, a local farmer and asked him if it was too late to plant my wildflower seeds. His candid response, “No father, we haven’t planted our corn yet , it’s a good time to plant your seeds.” There are several parables about sowers in the Gospels and the sower has a job to do. And sower's job is to go out and sow the seed. So does the sower worry about, you know, if the seed will grow? Yes. Does the sower worry about, you know, if there'll be a storm? Yes. Does the sower worry about, you know, if there will be a rich harvest? Yes. But God essentially says, "You know, don't worry about things you have no control over, put your energy into those things you are responsible for.” We do this all the time. We make ourselves responsible for things we're not actually responsible for, meanwhile, neglecting things that need our attention.

 

We worry about things we can't control and we use that as an excuse for not actually doing the things we are in fact actually responsible for. God says, "Hey, be mindful of your own personal responsibility. Your job's to sow. Let me worry about what sort of dirt it falls in. Let me worry about the weather patterns. Let me worry about what the harvest will be. You focus on the one thing you can actually affect,"because that's when you have the most effect." When we affect the things we can actually affect, that's when we live in our power, that's when we live connected to God, that's when we're most impactful. It's when we start focusing on things we can't actually affect, we can't influence. We can't change that. You know, we become like a leaky tire. We just lose all the energy, all the air just sucked out of our lives. And so what's God saying to us today? Focus on sowing the seed. Bring the message to as many people as possible.

 

Share the message with as many people as possible. You know, some of them will respond to it. Some of them won't. That's life, it might not be their time. That's okay. Just keep sowing the seed. There’s another parable about the mustard seed, you know, which is the smallest seed and yet becomes the greatest of all the trees, shrubs, etc. There's a line I think we sort of graze over it sometimes or slip past it. Jesus says, "Yet when the mustard seed is sown, it grows up and becomes the greatest of all the shrubs and puts forth large branches so that the birds of the air can make their nests in its shade."

  

The goodness of your life is like those large branches. It brings comfort to other people. It brings shade to the birds. It brings shade, a place for them to make their nests. Your goodness comforts people in their lives. Life is a long, weary journey and sometimes in the midst of that long, weary journey all people need is to spend a few minutes in the shade of your goodness.

 

To spend a few minutes in the shade of your goodness can completely transform their day. It can restore their hope in humanity. It can restore their hope in their own lives. And so what's Jesus' saying to us, he's saying, "Allow me to grow you. Allow me to give you big branches. Allow me to fill you with my goodness so that you can go out and share that goodness with weary people in this weary world and restore their hope in themselves, their lives and humanity."

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that when we see people who are spent and weary, let them spend some time in the shade of our goodness.

Remember Who You Are

 

This morning I am celebrating Mass looking out into the meadow watching the deer jumping over our fences. Last Sunday, I handed the “keys” of Holy Family to Fr. Corey and pray the community embraces his ministry with open arms. In July, I wiil be celebrating Mass at our cathedral while our bishop is away on vacation. For this morning, my first Sunday in “senior status” I have this story to share for your reflection on this Feast of Corpus Christi.

 

In my 44 years of ministry, I was invited to teach at a Dominican Monastery on a variety of spiritual topics. You might wonder: “what's a cloistered nun?" Well, this was a group of 20 nuns at the Monastery of Mary the Queen in Elmira, New York and they take a vow of community. They would leave the monastery for medical reasons and they pray.

 

As a Catholic priest counselor I got permission to go behind the cloister wall to address the nuns.

 

The nuns shared that they once invited a priest with his Methodist minister friend to talk to the group. The minister shared that they were the most non-Catholic audience of all time. He said, they were all on time, they were all smiling and they were carrying bibles. He said, "Smiling, punctual, Bible carrying Catholics?” He has never seen it. 

 

After the minister talked, Mother Assumption said, "I want to thank you. And I also want to tell you, after listening to you, you sound really Catholic." And [laughter] the minister said, "Well, thank you. I guess it's coming from a nun. That's a compliment." And she said, "So I have to ask you, why aren't you a part of the church?" He thought to myself, "That's a strange question. I am a part of the church. I mean, it says right here in my card, Pastor, United Methodist Church, C-H-U-R-C-H, church. I'm a part of the church." I said, "Oh, I don't understand the question." And she said, "Well, let me ask you again. Why aren't you a part of the church?" "I guess what you're asking me is, why am I not Catholic?" She said, "No. What I'm asking you is, why aren't you a part of the church?" Same words. Gentle smile. Persistent but gentle and loving. Three times in a row. And I said, "Mother Assumption, I don't really understand your question so I'm just going to tell you why I'm not Catholic." I said, "I don't really know why I'm not Catholic, to be honest. I grew up Methodist. I don't know that much about Catholicism, as you could tell [laughter] in these talks. But if I had to answer, I'd probably say, "I'm not Catholic because I don't really understand what you all believe about communion." For me, it's just obvious that the bread and the wine or the bread and the juice, because as Methodist, we used juice rather than wine, they're symbols. They're special. They're important. They're holy. But to somehow believe that they're miraculously transformed mysteriously into the body and blood of Jesus, literally, that just doesn't make sense to me. I said, "So I love you and I respect you. And this has been an incredibly enriching for me. But I'd have to say that's probably why I'm not Catholic." She said, "Okay." She said, "You got your Bible?" And he said, "Yes, ma'am." She said, "Would you open to First Corinthians, Chapter 11, verses 23 and 26?" And I said, "Yes, ma'am." And she said, "Would you like to read those words aloud or shall I?" I said, "You know what, Mother Assumption? You're doing a great job [laughter]. You go ahead [laughter]." And so she said, "These are the words from Saint Paul as he wrote to the church in the Corinthians and the church there in [inaudible]. 

 

And St. Paul wrote, 'And he said, I hand it on to you what I received from the Lord that on the night he was betrayed, Jesus took the bread, gave thanks, broke it, gave it to his disciples and said, take, eat, this is my body.'" And then Mother Assumption closed her bible. And she said to the minister, “what don't you understand?" And all the nuns and sisters giggled. 

 

And they had a little bit of a laugh. But the minister admitted that the hand of God did come down and plant a little seed about the size of a mustard seed in the back of his soul that eventually did draw him home into the one holy Catholic and Apostolic Church. Because these words are who we are.

 

We are the people of the Eucharist. That's who we are. The Sunday’s gospel says, "As they were eating, Jesus took bread and blessed it. And broke it. And gave it to them and said, 'Take. This is my body.'" 

 

We should love being Catholic. And Corpus Christi is one of the big reasons why. Because this is who we are. We are the people of the Eucharist. Always remember who you are.

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends to remember that you want to stay close to us and receive you in the Eucharist which is Your way of hugging us and saying: “I love you.”

 

Please forward your feedback about this reflection and names of family and friends who need our prayers. If you like a print of "Today's Sonshine" deer photo: forward your email to my attention and I would gladly send you a copy for your home or as a gift.

 

Fr. Matt email address: drmattkawiak@gmail.com 

 

How God Heals the Hardest Thing You have Ever Done

 

The news reported that the last child out of the house fire was transported to the hospital and did not make it. The principal had called a meeting to meet with her teachers and therapist to sadly report that it was their student who had died in the fire. Shock and disbelief and silence filled the room, staff left the room overcome with grief. This student was the silly one, he kept your attention to the point of exhaustion, but he was the one who brought joy into the classroom.

 

Why Lord, why do the ones who bring us joy have to suffer? There were plenty of tears from his teachers who put their hearts and souls in helping their gifted student cope with their multiple medical issues. When the media showed a child’s boot that was burnt in the fire is when this teacher lost it, angry that the media could be so heartless. Memories of a child they had taught for years who was loving and in one word just “a happy child.”  Now these dedicated educators had to deal with their emotions of lost and pain, crying tears and feeling exhausted from lack of sleep, thinking about the horrors when this child was hiding in a closet from the firemen who were not able to save this little one.

 

There are no words that can heal but only a touch that comes with a hug that says you are not left alone. For in those moments in our life, especially when a child dies, when faces are puffed red with tears and we are trembling inside with grief, the Lord comes to bring strength and courage to carry on in our journey of life.

 

God’s crucial word on grieving well is 1 Thessalonians 4:13: “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.” Yours is a grieving with hope. Theirs is a grieving without hope. That is the key difference. There is no talk of not grieving. That would be like suggesting to a woman who just lost her arm that she not cry, because it would be put back on in the resurrection. It hurts! That’s why we cry. It hurts.

 

The next lesson is the most revealing. It is confidence in the knowledge that children who die go to heaven. David’s response to those questioning his reaction to the death of his child has always been a great source of comfort to believing parents who have lost children. “But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me” (2 Samuel 12:23). David was fully confident that he would meet his son in heaven. This passage is a powerful indication that children who pass from this world will go to heaven.

Grieving the death of a child is a heartrending journey. There are no hard and fast rules or guidelines to teach us how to handle our mourning. However, as I listened to the broken hearts of this dedicated school staff who experienced the loss of a their student these were my healing thoughts:

• Recognize that you are not alone. You have God. You have your brothers and sisters in Christ. You have close friends and family. Lean on them. They are there to help you.

• Healing is not on a timetable. You’re now discovering grieving this loss is the hardest thing you’ve ever done. Don’t put time limits on your recovery. Don’t expect a day to pass without thinking about this student, nor should you want to. People refer to it as “the worst that can happen,” and that’s exactly what it feels like.

• Talk about your student. It’s important that you share the story of this student with others.

• Take care of yourself and your other children. Students in your classroom, your children at home. They, too, are suffering. They grieve the loss of a classmate and have the additional discomfort of seeing their teachers in grief.

• “Write. Just write.” The first blank page is difficult. “This silly student died and life will never be the same.” A journal can be our safe haven to empty the well of our sorrow, pouring tears of ink onto paper. And for a little while, we can let our emotions rest. There’s no magic secret to the journal. Just pick up a pen and begin with one word or sentence. Keep writing. Healing is not on a timetable. In fact, time doesn’t fix this kind of loss. Healing comes from actively pursuing life again. After, you’ll look back on your words and not recognize the person you once were. You’ll see how strong you really are.

 

•  Yet despite all the words we might want to say to relieve the pain of these teachers, nothing seems to lessen the  intense pain over losing their student, but there are support groups for parents who lost a child. Because they were the only ones who could empathize with our pain, parents find listening and talking to them truly therapeutic. One organization that might help is “Compassionate Friends.”

 

•  Healing doesn’t mean you’ll never feel the sadness. It means you’ll be able to have memories without attaching intense despair.

And lastly, Christians who have experienced the death of a child have the grand and faithful promise of God’s Word: “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away” (Revelation 21:4).

 

This student’s loss can teach us to love harder and appreciate every single day. It teaches us to reach out to others and begin sharing our story in hopes it could reassure other wounded teachers and staff there is life after loss.

Yesterday, I remember the call I received to come to this beautiful school and help after I heard the news of the death of one of their students. The first thing I did was walk up to the principal and give her a hug. People need to share their story, don’t walk away and change the subject. Listening is healing and know that I pray for your healing and comfort.

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends” who have experienced the hardest thing they have ever done. Give them the grace of your courage and strength and help them be at peace.

 

Leaping into Puddles

 

When was the last time you jumped into a puddle?

 

I don’t mean walking into one, gingerly hoping your socks stay somewhat dry. I mean starting about 10 feet back so you can gain some momentum and then leaping full-bodied into the air. There are distinct feelings associated both with the moment of leap and the wet slap of your feet on the ground when landing. This reflection, however, is primarily concerned with the feeling that arises at the moment of leap.

 

Recently, I had to make a really big, tough decision. At the pinnacle of my angst, I called up my old friend Ted. “I was writing my Sonshine reflection and I thought of you.” I could tell he was smiling through the phone when he said, “Oh, yeah?” I relayed to him that I had a huge decision to make, and I remembered that he is very good at decision-making. In particular, he is a trusted mentor and very good at taking big leaps of faith. I figured a quick phone call would help some of that rub off on me.

 

“Well, where are you in the decision process?” he asked. “Will you be making pro and con lists and thinking about every angle?” I shook my head and said, “No, I’m more at the stage where I feel like God is about to tell me to start running. I’m at the stage right before I think God is going to ask me to leap.”

 

When I hung up the phone a short time later, I realized that until the exact moment I said it out loud to him, I hadn’t realized how far I was in the discernment process. We are invited to get all the necessary information, have the important conversations, weigh the pros and cons. We are invited to pray all along the way. But the part that has always been the hardest and yet always the most rewarding for all of us is the moment we are invited to leap.

 

I feel like I’ve been standing 10 feet from a lot of puddles. Some are inviting enough that I’m ready to jump right into the awaiting joy, but most of them have me fearing perpetually wet socks. I feel like maybe it’s better if I stand safely away from these puddles and remain eternally locked in my pros and cons. But I know I’m not meant to stand safe and dry forever. I know God wants me to leap eventually. God wants me to risk the wet socks and the discomfort and the uncertainty, because God knows that if I just trust, the joy of the leap will be indescribable. I can’t get to that joy of catching air until I get going on that running start. None of us can.

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are stuck on the ground about a decision. If you are stuck on dry land right now looking at that puddle ahead, I invite you to start running with me now. Let’s have a little faith and leap into all God has waiting for us.