Sometimes it Doesn't Click

In the field, I like to travel light with the least amount of clutter when taking photos of some pristine landscape or delicate flowers in the meadows. Many years ago, I was visiting Tobomory in Ontario with a group of park tourist as we were heading for Flower Pot Island. On this tour, a local photographer was taking photos for a magazine and I noticed how simply he moved about the rocky paths. He had a fanny pack around his waist and all his camera gear, lens, camera bodies and film were always available. He walked with a monopod to steady his hands and feet and I marveled at how swiftly he was able to change lens with the system he had developed.

I like to copy people who have simple ideas so I purchased a photo fanny pack. On each photo shoot, I carry my lens, camera, extras batteries and digital disks, no film for passionate soul. However about three weeks ago, I lost the clip that secures the belt around my waist. I searched all the usual places where I store my gear with no luck. Finally, I went to my friends at Rowe, but their solution was that to go online and purchase a new clip.

I happened to be driving on Ridge Road and decided to check another camera store. One of the salesmen is a Nikon guru who knows equipment, but as I waiting for him another young salesman heard my story took the fanny belt and simply unclick the buckle and said, “Here you go.” I was embarrassed and surprised. It appeared that the clip was in the buckle all along and that it slipped out of the belt. Are there not times the answer to life’s complicated problems is staring at you in your face, but you are just too anxious to see the solution? Must be stress.

Many times we struggle through difficult moments like the young couple praying for there premature triplets to grow healthy, or a professor recovering miraculously from his burns in a fire. Then there is the unemployed searching desperately for another job. or the senior mother emotionally abused by her addicted adult son. Sometimes our brains fail to click to find the solution to our problems. At these times, I feel a quiet moment away from the busiest of our lives helps to slow us down and reboot our brains so that we can better manage with the complicated situations of our lives.

This morning let me take you for a walk through a bluebell meadow. It’s a moment where you can spend a few moments of peace and quiet. We learn in scripture that Jesus went off to the desert to pray. It was his moment to relax and reboot his head and his heart. Well, I’m grateful that instead of a desert I have the natural forest to allow my soul to reboot and find calm in a storming situation.

God prays for us as we reflect: “He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters.” (Psalm 23:2).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are not clicking very well these days. Maybe they lost someone special to them or daily struggle with a chronic illness. As they walk along the bluebell meadow, let them feel the cool breeze on their face and may the breath of your Spirit fill their minds and hearts with your heavenly peace.

I Just Don't Care Anymore

“I just don’t care anymore” were his words describing the months of rejection by the penal board refusing his request for work release. The young inmate had reached his breaking point and has become bitter and angry about his prison experience. He had hoped to enroll in any kind of work release program and return home. Despite his numerous appeals and support from his prison committee, both the prison superintendent and Albany have rejected his attempts for a work release program.

He admitted that he has been hiding his feelings from his parents and friends. No one can say that they understand how he feels at this moment. You are naïve and fooling only yourself. The daily boredom and routine have driven him to withdraw and build up a wall. It is how he survives each day. He has nothing in common with the outside world. His former business, his love for his dog, and hopes for the future are gone. He is no longer interested in the activities of the outside world. He cannot be bothered with the details of other people’s lives. He admits that he has no connection with the outside world and he just doesn’t care about the mundane things that bother the rest of us.

He has chosen not to associate with the other inmates since all they talk about are their crimes and appeals or the food to pass the time. He no longer has any motivation to exercise or read. They were once the daily the activities that gave him energy to face each day. Some would say that he is clinically depressed. He would tell you that this withdrawal is the only way for him to remain stable and not go insane.

Listening to the emptiness of this soul and finding a way into his broken heart made my stomach churn with pain. So I just listened and prayed to the Spirit to help me get a glimpsed of his pain and sadness. The light of truth came when I took off my pastoral and clinical mask, and simply walked with him in silence to feel his sadness. He needed someone to give him permission to be sad.

Walking with this inmate through his tears of sadness, his darkness was a moment for healing. He understands that his parents have filed a formal appeal and are hopeful of their son’s release. Despite this appeal, he cannot allow the luxury of any hope in his heart. It is too painful to even think about another disappointment. Therefore, the only way for him to survive is to go “into the desert” and wait for God’s mercy and justice.

This need for patience is breaking this young man’s spirit. So in that moment of silence. I told him that I love him. No one can steal his unique gifts of compassion, creativity and love for his favorite dog. We must do the praying and worrying and appealing for him. He needs to do what he thinks is best to keep himself sane even it means to withdraw from this world so that he no longer feels the pain of rejection. It is his agony in the garden.

Lord, send your angels to protect all our inmates who have lost hope in a the world that no longer has any meaning for them. Let your angels comfort the souls who feel abandoned and rejected by a system focused on punishishment rather than rehabilitation. Give strength and courage to my young friend, his wonderful parents, his many friends, and this humble chaplain who simply do not get it nor understand the sadness of prison life. Our young inmate is absolutely right. None of us can really undertstand his pain or sadness. How dare we say we understated! We can only walk by his side, never in his shoes.

God prays for us as we reflect: “My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare.” (Psalm 25: 15).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are incarcerated and their family members who visit them in our correctional facilities. Shelia met me with a smile at the reception center, a 25-year sergeant in the penal system. She shared her experience when an inmate was “out of line.” In her own words, she would say to the inmate: “Let’s go have a smoke and a cup of coffee and tell them sincerely, ‘I’m not here to judge you but my job is to keep you safe.’” Lord, keep all your inmates safe in your hands.

Weeping Prayer

This weeping cherry blossom tree reminds me of the moments our mothers have simply cried for no particular reason. Tears just flow due to the exhaustion of their day or disappointments of life. So imagine yourself sitting underneath this lovely cherry blossom and your mom comes up to you to share this beautiful prayer when you’re feeling out of sorts.

Imagine you are six years old at the time and sitting underneath this tree and you are crying. We don’t know why. We are just crying and crying. Our mother comes along and says, “What’s the matter?” We whimper back, “Nothing, Leave me alone!” So mom did and then we really start to cry. About fifteen minutes later she comes back and sits beside us underneath our tree. “You know, she says, I have to tell you something. There are going to be times in your life when you are going to cry, and you won’t know why. You won’t understand and neither will anybody else.”

Then mom said she was going to teach us a prayer for the times when we are crying and we don’t know why. She made you get off the ground and stand up underneath this tree. She said, "now put your arms around yourself." We did, but it wasn’t good enough for her. "You’re just folding your arms," she said. "Put them all the way around yourself. Cuddle your body. Hold yourself the way you would hold a baby in your arms. Now after you have a real good hold of yourself, close your eyes and begin to rock yourself. Rock yourself real good, the way you would a baby, and just keep doing it."

"When you grow up, no matter how old you are, and find yourself crying and you don’t know why, I want you to rock yourself just like this. And as you do it, remember that you are God’s little one, and that God understands why you are crying, even if no one else does. And remember, too, that God holds you close, just the way you are holding yourself, because God loves you very much. Then just keep rocking yourself and be comforted."

God prays for us as we reflect: “ For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death. my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling.” (Psalm 116:8).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Caregiver Friends who are coming apart at the seams. Remember this prayer and whenever you feel miserable just stand wherever you are—in the kitchen, in your bedroom—and wrap your arms around yourself as tightly as you can. Rock yourself. Before long you will be able to feel God holding you in the same way you are holding yourself. You will be comforted the way you were comforted as a child when your mother held you in her arms and rocked you.

It's All About the Timing

A courageous friend struggles with her suffering that she would gladly give back to God. Many years ago, he legs grew tired for she suffers from multiple sclerosis. Daily, she prays for strength and she is not afraid to give God a piece of her mind about her suffering, Despite her disease, her mind and heart yearn to see the flowers in bloom and smell their sweet scents.

If you are sensitive to the seasons, you would note that all our flowers are three weeks ahead of schedule. Two weeks ago, I was scouting Highland Park at six in the morning for a sunrise and images of flowering magnolias. One has to be at the right place and know the right time to find the glory of God lurking in the trees and shrubs. Never disappointed, I discovered that the lilacs were beginning to bud out, but the surprise was a “weeping cherry” that was shining in the morning mist.

Our suffering soul would welcome the opportunity to see the lilacs so this weekend, mind you three weeks before the official Lilac Sunday, she found herself being wheeled through the gardens to witness the miracle of nature and smell the lilacs. She was like a little kid, simply glad to be outdoors and enjoy the beauty that was peaking in the morning sun. In one week, the budding lilacs were now ablaze in a glorious display of purple and crimson colors. If you are waiting for Lilac Sunday, you will be disappointed because the flowers will be past their peak. Go now my friends!

Many times I hear people say, “They don’t wish to be a bother.” They struggle with some suffering that is known only to us. At those moments, we have an opportunity to blossom and reflect the profound beauty of God’s care for his people. It might simply be a gesture that says we notice their struggle and take their garbage to the curb, or take away their loneliness by bringing a plant into their home, invite them to lunch, or if we are really mindful, pack them into our van and let them smell the lilacs.

The miracles of Jesus were simply being mindful that it was the right moment to make his friends more wine, bring them more fish, forgive them a poor judgment, or best of all, raise them to eternal life. God’s timing is perfect, but we can be just as mindful with a little extra attention to detail. God is watching us, not looking for our failures, but watching our timing so that we don’t miss the opportunities to bring his comfort and love to others. It might simply mean bringing our friends to the pansy bed to see all the smiling faces.

God prays for us as we reflect; “Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves in heard in our land. “ (Song of Solomon 2:12).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who feel that the Spirit has given them more than their share of suffering. Imagine that you tie all your sufferings to your outdoor tree. May the Spirit give us a nudge to take one of those sufferings from our neighbor’s tree and help them feel and experience the power of God’s love for them.