What Do I Need to Bury

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Once a woman was jogging down a dirt road that wound through the fields of corn and she stumbled upon an eating disorder clinic that caters to the wealthy. She veered off the trail onto a groomed cider track, which she discovered was a twelve-step trail. Signs with motivational slogans such as “expect a miracle” lined the trail. The trail ended at a cemetery of tiny craved grave markers. She stopped to read each grave.

“Here lies my resentment of people” someone had written on a tombstone. Others buried such things as cigarettes, an obsession with chocolate, diet pills, a lack of self-discipline, the need to control others, a habit of lying, alcohol and marijuana. She thought to herself, what do I need to bury?

If there were one spiritual corpse common to us all, is the attitude that our sins and shortcomings put us beyond the reach and concern of God. This unbiblical attitude is quite common. I contacted a colleague who deals with alcoholics and drug addicts. I asked this question: “Have you found that people who live with failure each day, that backsliding draws them further from God or presses them toward God?”

This retired school counselor who has been attending AA for 35 years said that it pushes people toward God. She shared stories about alcoholics and addicts who have done terrible things to themselves and their families. Yet in those moments of weakness they are the very moments when they are likely to turn to God, to cry out in desperation. They have failed terribly. Now what? Can they get up again and walk again, or do they stay paralyzed? Through the grace of God, some of them do get up. In fact, she decided there is one key in determining whether an individual can reach recovery; if they deeply believe they are a forgivable child of God. Not a failure-free child of God but a forgivable one.

Francis de Sales wrote: “Now the greater our knowledge of our own misery, the more profound will be our confidence in the goodness and mercy of God.”

You see what I’m trying to get across? Our failures, do not separate us from the love of God. Our fondness’ for sin, does not force God to give up on us.

My dear fellow sinners, my dear fellow failures, there is much to be buried in the graveyard of our spiritual disorder clinic. You and I know what moral failures need to be entombed forever. Even though we walk in the dark valley of addiction or violence in our hearts and hands, God is there. With rod and staff, he offers possibilities, hope, and a better future.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends, who believe that the Lord is indeed forever at my side, even in my worst moments. He forever sees not what I have done, but what I can do.

Don't Blame God

On Monday night, I’m staring at my emails with a message looking for volunteers to help in Las Vegas and provide crisis counseling. Without hesitation, I would have forwarded an email to say that I was available but it seemed that the responses from local counselors would meet their need for onsite debriefing. Later that evening their staffing needs were met. However, on Wednesday, I get a urgent request to provide crisis counseling for a local double murder where one adult was shot and the other committed suicide.

I don't know about you, but it makes me impatient with God. How can God allow people to run wild in their violence? Why doesn't God do something? For that matter why doesn't God do something about the violence and suffering of the innocent in our day?

What is behind all this violence in our world? I want to suggest that part of it is a shocking lack of empathy for other people, for victims, an inability to feel what those who are hurt or dying are feeling. We lack empathy and we hurt and kill others because we have divided the world into “us” and “them”—a distinction, mind you, that is high on Jesus’ list of what is horribly and terribly evil in the world.

For Jesus, there is no “us” and “them,” no Hispanic and Mexican, no blacks and whites, no gay and straight, no Roman Catholic and Polish Catholic. Jesus taught that our neighbor is everyone—especially everyone who is hurting. We must understand and appreciate his or her pain. In fact, it is not too-far-fetched to say that empathy for victims is Christianity’s cardinal virtue.

God's word to us today is a word of judgment. Just as surely as Jesus was judging the religious leaders of his day with the parable of the landowner and tenants, he is judging us. We are called to share what we have with others, that’s why in our parish we bid on a cow to make food for the poor, why we are donating bricks to maintain the playground, why we voted to build a hospice for the dying, why we are preparing our raffle baskets for the Spaghetti Dinner, why we invite you and your family to come join us on Sunday, October 22^nd to eat and bid on over a 150 baskets to support our various ministries, because together are producing fruit for God’s kingdom.

Noe when you hear about pain and suffering, the terror in Las Vegas, devastation caused by the hurricanes, an innocent child killed by their parent, don't blame God. And don't respond in anger at God when you see suffering or ask why God permits this and why God doesn't do something. The truth is that God has done something. God came in Jesus Christ to die for our sins and bring new life. And God is doing something in that God has made you and me. We can and are making a difference with God's help.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who have been victims of violence, through abuse, selfishness and greed. Restore our empathy to reach out to anyone who has felt this pain and suffering and let us be a sign of Your comfort and peace.

Why Did You Do That?

A curious thing happened at the county fair this year. Once again, our parish won the bid on a cow to the delight of a 4H student who had won his division. Now his prize would be used to feed many poor families in the county. A person questioned why would the church pay so much money and then give it away. The answer that he was given was profound.

You see the people of this parish have made a choice that when they come to church it not about the buildings, paying the mortgage, or working on a committee. Rather, it’s our opportunity to be another Christ. She shared that all are welcomed in this faith community to learn about the love of the Lord who rejects no one. But our gospel story took her message up another notch.

Once upon a time, a pastor received a note from a family that had become inactive in the church. After listing a series of familiar reasons for their absence, (summer time at the lake, busy weekends with soccer and basketball and vacation trips at Christmas, etc.,) they closed their letter with these words, “But one of these days, don’t be surprised when you look up and see us out there in the congregation, because we just love you, and we just love our church.” “We just love our church;” we just can’t be bothered with showing up and participating in any noticeable way. That is a pretty clear example of saying yes while living no.

Week after week we gather in church and will pray the Lord’s prayer and say, “Forgive us our sins while we forgive those who sin against us.” And yet we go on for years harboring resentments, nursing grudges, withholding grace and forgiveness and reconciliation from others while accepting it for ourselves from God.  Saying yes while living no.

In the parable, it is the Chief Priests and Elders who are accused by Jesus of saying yes while living no. Jesus tells the parable about the two brothers, each of whom was told to go to the vineyard and work.  One says no, but later changes his mind goes to work.  The other says yes, but never shows up at the vineyard. Then Jesus asked the Chief Priests and Elders: “Which of the two did the will of the father?” They say, “The one who went to the field and worked.”

Now, Jesus drives his point home. The tax collectors and prostitutes may have turned their backs on God at one point in their lives, but because they eventually repent and obey and serve God – they are way ahead of the Chief Priests and Elders, who have spent their lives professing their love for God but who have never done any of the works of love and mercy which God asked them to perform.

So, like that person at the county fair who was shocked by the generosity of the parish, we have our excuses for saying no to God. Times when we have resisted the burden of the cross, when we have made it clear that we prefer to go our own way rather than God’s way.

Perhaps we thought it would be easy, but then found out that walking the way of Christ was harder than we thought.  Or perhaps we really, really meant to, but got distracted and waylaid by the troubles and trials of life.  Either way, we all need help, we all need to find a way to say yes and live yes.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who make time to come to church, pray for their family and friends and give a little extra of themselves when least expected.

Just Have Fun

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On a recent pilgrimage to Utah to take photos of national parks, a fellow traveler was sitting next to me during a presentation on travel photography who was feeling a tad overwhelmed. The photo expert was using “photo jargon” that went over his head. This novice really wanted to learn how to take better photos. I don’t why, but I leaned over during the presentation and whispered: “ just have fun.”

Yes, after decades of taking slides, then prints, now pixels I have learned a few tricks of the trade. But I think if you want to develop a passion for any hobby you need to develop a passion for your subject. Landscape photography is my passion.

This fellow traveler surprised me when he invited me to his home in Oakland, California to take a hike into Yosemite National Park. Little did I realize that he has been taking photos for over 50 years and in his retirement after a successful teaching career he wanted to learn how to take better photos.

On a whim, I landed on the west coast and this new friend took me to his favorite “Kodak” moments, my term not his, to share his passion and love for the beauty of God’s creation in national parks.

Note, he’s better than “uber” for his knowledge of the freeways working his way to those scenic vistas was awesome. I’ll never complain about traffic in Rochester or Buffalo again after negotiating 16 lanes of traffic on west coast freeways.

He said “he likes to talk” and his dear spouse agreed. Some of our travels were thirteen hours long and like Garrison Keillor, he shared many fun stories about family, kids, and career as a primary school principal mentoring teachers, students, parents, school boards and all manner of administration.

However, when we got out of the car and reviewed the landscape he got very serious because his goal was to improve his photo skills. My practical advice was: “include some foreground in your images.” It’s nice to take that Golden Gate, or Bridal Falls or El Capitan for the zillionth time, but maybe an interesting foreground that leads your eye would make it a stunning shot.

Jesus was always leading our eyes to a future glory that meant that the journey would fill us with awe and wonder. On the journey of life, he would focus our attention to be the best person we could be. That means we need to include lots more compassion, generosity, forgiveness and kindness in our viewfinder.

My humble thanks to a stranger who has become a treasured friend because he took a chance on inviting this shepherd to his home and take him along to see the wonders of his land. My prayers of gratitude for his time and love for the west coast parklands because he did “wear me out.” Now he’s waiting for me to forward him some of my photos to continue to improve his passion for photography.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends blessed with many gifts and passions to make your beauty and wisdom known. May God bless all your passions and know that you are appreciated for all that you share about your love for horses and kitties, photography and wood turning, fishing, and praying. Remember my mantra: "just have fun."

Tribute to a Wood Craver

Nobody knows why wood carvers are wood cravers. Not even they can tell you why. It’s time somebody try. Carving a wooden bowl going at the rate of 1400 revolutions a per minute is risky and most likely something that Ed looked forward to doing when he came to his workshop.  He was always clever with his hands but in the last decade of his life he became a master in this art. Many of his neighbors came to watch, a few would donate blocks of woods from their farms and woods.  Wood and steel are uncomfortable separately or together. His friends marveled at his passion.

Any day at his workshop, he would start his day by looking over the blocks of spalling maple or cherry, ash or walnut and figure in his head what project he would tackle. Into his work pants, work gloves and protective face guard and out he goes to work. He starts his day, checking out the air-dried wood that had been drying for six months or more, Minutes later he’s fast at work.  As he pondered which block of wood he would craft his next bowl, he reviewed his simple turning tools. Like a surgeon he would sharpen his simple rougher, then his 90-degree detailer, check his simple shear cutting finisher and prepare to put the wood on the chuck.

For some people, this is the scary part as a steel wheel turning at breakneck speed, and you take a gouging tool and start smoothing the outside of the wood into a curved bowl. The woods chips are sailing through the air while you have your air compressor vacuuming up the dust particles from clogging your lungs. Your eyes are straining to see that you are not cutting too much wood and making it too thin and you might lose track of where you are. Is it worth it?

Inside your protective shield, the wood chips are flying everywhere. There’s sawdust down your neck. You got to be careful to place the detailer on the bar so that your fingers don’t get smashed. But you emerge from this holocaust hugging, with your calloused hands, a unique crafted bowl with a burl and detail that reveals the test of time. Wood and steel.

You have worked hours to craft this unique work of art, not concerned about the months you had to wait for the moisture to exit the wood, or the fact that after hours turning a beautiful piece of wood, you discovered a crack that made it impossible to save. You discovered that the learning continues after all those years of making beds and chairs, for this craft requires more skill and understanding. Once you have designed your bowl and unstuffed your nostrils; you can almost breathe again. Next comes the tedious hours of oiling and waxing and sanding your bowl and then re-sharpening your gouges and cleaning your grimy tools. You a one-man cleaning crew at the workshop as the floor needs sweeping and you gather the woodchips usually to put into your veggie garden or given away as compost for some neighbor.

Back at the workshop, you and a neighbor, would sit a spell, tired but stimulated, admiring another piece of your art, or relieved that you had accomplished another repair order, drinking coffee and laughing, and feeling good about one another. Nobody outside your world can ever quite know that feeling of what it means to sit in the quiet of your wood shop. It was like a holy chapel where you met God who had come to bring you peace. There’s no way that you would ever quit this job, and you wonder how did this hobby became your passion. Yet, only God knows why. Perhaps to give you comfort when your beloved spouse died, she was your passion and when she went home to her heavenly reward she gave you this gift to keep your mind and heart occupied.

God took your sorrow and poured it down a drain, that freed you from sadness until you heard a familiar voice of God saying: “For salvaging wood from the fires of a woodstove or people whose wood treasures needed repair, “I have to relied on your hands.”

Forgive Yourself

I have encountered a lot of broken souls in my counseling vocation. Addicts, abusers, runaways, homeless, incarcerated, paroled and more. I’ve spoken with the haunted and angry, as well as the broken and defeated. So many sad and empty eyes that once shined with hope and promise.

If there are any cracks in your protective emotional armor, this mass of tragic humanity can break your heart. So many people carrying huge emotional burdens. They’re seemingly unable to break through their pain and truly live again.

There are no neat and tidy solutions that fit every injured spirit, but there is one thing we all must do if we want a better life. If you can allow yourself to do this, you will free yourself to begin living anew. You will create a path to personal growth, better habits and greater fulfillment. What is this healing thing? Forgive yourself.

A dad just left my office who shared that he used cocaine for eleven years before he stopped using drugs. However, decades later his adult sons continue to blame dad for their problems today. This dad gets lonely without his family and wishes that his sons would visit or call him more often. Regretfully, while he has stopped using, his sons are all using drugs today.

A message about forgiving yourself can be the solution for not walking around in shame. Whether you are a person of faith or not, this message of forgiving yourself is important. 

Perhaps you are an alcoholic or drug user who has hurt many people in your life. Maybe you chose not to have the baby and are conflicted with the decision. Perhaps you weren’t really there for your children. Whatever it is, forgive yourself. You are not perfect, none of us are. The sins of our past don’t define who we choose to be today and who we will be in the future. Acknowledge that you stumbled. You blew it. You hurt people. Scars and bad blood and a lot of carnage may have been left in your wake. You may have to pay some dues, make things as right as you can, apologize to those hurt. Some will never forgive you. But in the end, you have to forgive yourself. You have to unshackle that burden. Allow for the statute of limitations on past transgressions to end. I know, you don’t think you deserve it. You don’t think you can. But you’re wrong. It really is possible to forgive yourself. And then move on. Why? Because a better life requires this.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are still shackled with guilt about their poor judgment in the past. Our Lord comes to those who have the faith to realize that we are not perfect but can count on God’s mercy. Bring comfort to those hearts that have been hurt by our selfish attitudes and behaviors and give healing to those who have stumbled and can count on your forgiveness. Help us all to receive the grace to forgive ourselves and move on. 

Are You Walking on Water or Sinking Like a Stone

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Let’s be honest with ourselves when we are talking about our faith. Some days you walk on water and other days you sink like a stone.  Faith invariably gives way to doubt before it again recovers its confidence, then it loses it again.

Remember the story of Peter walking on water. The story goes this way: The disciples had just witnessed a major miracle, Jesus fed more than 5000 people with five loaves of bread and two fishes. Having just witnessed a miracle, their faith was strong. Soon afterwards they get into a boat to cross a lake. Jesus is not with them. A few miles out they run into a fierce storm and begin to panic. Jesus comes walking towards them on the water. Initially they’re frightened and take him for a ghost. But he calms their fear by telling them, right from the center of the storm, that he is not just Jesus but that he is God’s very presence.

Peter is immediately buoyed up in his faith and asks Jesus to let him too walk on the water. Jesus invites him to do so and Peter gets out of the boat confidently and begins to walk on the water. But then, realizing what he was doing and the incredulous nature of it, he immediately starts to sink, cries out for help, and Jesus has to reach out and rescue him from drowning.

What we see illustrated here are two things that lie at the heart of our experience of faith, namely, that faith (literally) has its ups and downs and that it works best when we don’t confuse it with our own efforts.

Faith has its ups and downs. Our own faith works exactly like that, at times it lets us walk on water and at other times we sink like a stone. The gospel-image of Peter walking on the sea speaks for itself.

We easily get discouraged because our faith vacillates in this way. My spiritual mentor was being wheeled into surgery and he was worried, but he folded his hands and prayed: “Lord, Your will be done,” and immediately he felt a sense of peace. Faith works like that: We can walk on water only as long as we don’t think that we are doing it with our own strength.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who feel like that they are sinking like a stone. Remind them that the Spirit comes into our life with a deep secret that sometimes we know, and then not, and then we know it again.  Faith works like that, some days we walk on water, other days we sink like a stone, and then later we walk on water. 

A Glimpse of Christ

I shared the story about the Transfiguration when we encounter Jesus, who reveals a glimpse of his divinity to Peter, James and John to prepare them for the cross, which would precede his resurrection.

I believe if we are paying attention, there are many times in our life when we come to glimpse a scene of perfect beauty. Whether a sunset, a beautiful round barn, a work of art, a beautiful piece of music, a sermon made by your shepherd, or the goodness and sincerity of people, that glimpse sustains us over a long time.

In our community, Tim has been working hard for over a year and a half to get folks in the county to support the Charlotte Comfort Home. However, it can be difficult to get folks from many different regions to work together for a common cause. A tad discouraged that his committee had yet to generate time and energy and funding, he felt discouraged and ready to call it quits.

This is where he was given a glimpse of the Risen Christ who appeared not in a dazzling display of light like fireworks. Rather, it came from a person who listened and reassured this humble leader that he would join his committee and work on raising the funds to restore the parish building that would offer comfort to the dying and care for family members.

You see, this Transfiguration moment is about letting our light shine before others. That is exactly what Tim found in the voice of his friend. We let the light shine when we live our lives as “other Christs.” 

To be “other Christs,” we need to reflect Christ to others by loving God, neighbor, and self – to follow the heart of our faith, the triple-love message  of Jesus Christ.  We do this when we forgive our enemies, give drink to the thirsty, feed the hungry, console the sorrowful, instruct those searching for a purpose, care for the dying, visit those in our hospitals, nursing homes and prisons.

It’s four o'clock on a Sunday afternoon and I just returned from church. No, I did not preach a four-hour homily. Rather, I visited the sick in two hospitals in Buffalo, extended our blessings to Bishop Peplowski at Brothers of Mercy and visited a dear friend who has multiple sclerosis and wanted to let me know that it’s time to have a little fun and set a date for dinner.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who radiate your light to those in need. Give us the grace to do better and let our shine before all in need of our helping hands.

Parable of the "Smarties"

On a recent Road Scholar trip to Acadia National Park, my friend provided treats to all the hikers during their lunch break. While people were hydrating with water and eating their sandwiches after a two-hour hike, he reached into his backpack and gave them each a treat. People were surprised and appreciated his kind gesture.

This is what the parable of the mustard seed is all about. It’s about those small acts of kindness, whatever it was, that stay in our memory. Small acts, of cruelty of kindness, leave their effect long after the effects of events of seemingly much greater importance have passed away.

 

There is, I believe, a profound lesson in this. The Kingdom of God, as Jesus assures us, is about mustard seeds, about small seemingly unimportant things, but which, in the long run, are the big things.

I have always found it ironic that we easily forget the big things, the events that seem of great importance. Who won the Nobel prize for literature two years ago? Who won the academy awards last year? Who won the Super Bowl three years ago, the World Series last year, the Stanley Cup this year? It’s funny how quickly we tend to forget these things. It is also curious what we do not forget.

We tend to forget quickly who won such or such an award, or who starred in such and such a movie or play. But we remember, and remember vividly, with all the healing and grace it brought, who was nice to us all those years ago on the playground at school or who gave us “Smarties” on top of Cadillac Mountain after a challenging three hour hike.

Falls come, winters come, springs come, summers come and go, and sometimes the only thing we can remember from a given year is some small mustard seed, of cruelty or kindness. Taking the time to cross the Canadian border to buy “Smarties” for your hiking partners was a wonderful act of kindness that will never be forgotten. So when you wake up tomorrow morning, it’s your choice what mustard seeds you want to plant.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends and thank them for all the small acts of kindness that they have given to their family and friends. I believe that God does cares a great deal about the small things we do for one another.

The Delight in Giving

BEFORE:

 

This Sunday is Trinity Sunday and more than likely many folks travelled to their cabins for the weekend. I didn’t want you to miss the following story that gives us a profound insight into the meaning of the Trinity. Simply put, God takes delight when we can provide.

Let me explain why there has been no Sonshine these past few months.

After a two-year application process, our neighbor was awarded a state grant to remodel her home both inside and out. During the construction, she lived at her sister’s mobile home, while Sue fed, watered, and scooped litters for her nine cats twice a day for five weeks.

During the remodeling process, I hauled two tons of debris out of her basement and garage. Her furniture was rotten and broken so I started a search for good condition replacements. She needed a working refrigerator and stove and my parish offered her the appliances from the rectory.

Now that’s precisely what the Spirit of Jesus is all about. She needed working appliances, the parish had the parts, so let’s give it to her. The spirit moves us to go beyond what’s expected, to be as generous as the Father has been generous to us.

Now God enjoys those moments when we can provide, like when a mother brings joy to her child, when people in our parish bring food for poor children, and donating appliances.

 We should take delight that we are able to give delight, the uniqueness of being able to give delight, the joy of giving. To do these things is to do what God does and so to feel what God feels.

This afternoon, our senior lady was taking a walk around our farm and I asked her how was her new bed. This was also donated by a local furniture store. She looked at me with a smile and looking up into heaven simply said “wonderful.” It was that twinkle in her eyes and her smile in which I saw the delight of God when we can provide for another.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who continue to be generous in giving delight to their family and neighbors. Now you know how God feels whenever you provide for another person in need. That’s the true meaning of the Trinity. Enjoy your Summer!

PS: This neighbor still needs a new hot water tank, bedroom dresser, desk, table and chairs.

AFTER:

 

Doubt and Surprise

This Sunday millions of Christians will raise their voices to share in the ancient Easter acclamation, “Christ is risen! But what if you don’t believe in resurrection, or at least aren’t sure? Perhaps you’ve been attending church for years but feel a little left out, even guilty, on Easter morning as you wonder whether Christ was really raised from the dead. Or maybe you don’t often go to church but are willing to concede doing something “spiritual” as you attend Easter service with your in-laws. Or perhaps you flat out think resurrection is fantasy, something that just couldn’t happen.

If any of these conditions describes you, it turns out you’re in good company, as this is the attitude of most folks on that first Easter morning. Notice, when the heavenly messengers first announced the news of Jesus’ resurrection, no one said, “Praise God” or “Hallelujah,” let alone, “I knew it — just like he said!” That’s right — not a single one of Jesus’ disciples at first believed the report of his resurrection. In all four-gospels, it appears that the natural response to word of the resurrection is doubt, fear, and bewilderment.

How come? For practical reasons the evangelists recognized that the resurrection is, quite literally, incredible — that is, not believable.  Resurrection isn’t simply a claim that Jesus’ body was resuscitated; it’s the claim that God entered human history and created a new reality all together. Which, quite frankly, can be frightening. After all, if the dead don’t stay dead, what can you count on?  

Second, notice that faith and doubt are closer together than we might imagine. Doubt, questions, even downright skepticism — these aren’t the opposite of faith, but an essential ingredient. Faith, after all, isn’t knowledge; rather, faith is “the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Hebrews: 11:1).

So let me share a true story to help you put aside any doubt about Easter. Her name is Maggie, a neighbor and cancer survivor. She had to mortgage her home to pay her hospital bills. At 6.5% interest on that loan, half her social security goes to pay off her debt. Over a year ago, I took her to her bank in the hope of refinancing her loan at a lower rate. Initially, the loan officer said no problem. But three months later, Maggie shared that she was denied because she had no fire insurance and she had no extra funds to pay any additional premiums.

Ten days ago on a Wednesday, I called the Refinance Dept of her bank and explained her dilemma. After four hours on the phone, she put her thumbs up in the air with a big grin. She gives me the phone and Shane, the bank customer service rep, said: “Father, we can do this!” That was an Easter moment.

The bank promised that it would refinance her loan from 6.5% to

4 % and that would reduce her debt by $100 per month. This bank listened, lowered it rates and help an impoverished senior maintain some dignity. Now that’s a resurrection moment. There is a God who cares about her people.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that Easter was a day with church family and friends to celebrate something incredibly true. Christ is Risen, Indeed!

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Finding God in a Donut

At our retreat, a participant shared that she found God in donuts. All kidding aside, her memory, as a child was a five-year-old unrefined child who didn’t think that she was anything special. She somehow found herself inside a church and she remembered watching the people eating donuts. Perhaps, it was coffee social after a morning service. She felt awkward and hungry, but nobody looked down on her or said anything to make her feel unwanted. At one point, she noticed that people were putting money into a basket for the donuts, and she felt like a “bad little girl” for taking a donut. Instead, out of nowhere, someone placed a few coins in her hand and let her put them in the basket. No nasty looks or nasty comments, so these must be God’s special angels.

Life can be messy and maybe you have memories about your past in which you felt awkward, out of place, someone who didn’t belong, or worse you had no one in your life that made you feel special.

One of the topics we discussed at the parish retreat was: “Life is Messy.”

For example, when a patient was told that they have cancer. You walk out of the doctor’s office and your head is just spinning, and you realize that nothing else in the world has changed. Life goes on and everyone is just going around their business, going about doing their thing. Nobody knows what you’re struggling with. Yet in reality, we’re all struggling with something. A tough childhood where no one made you feel special, or you suffered the humiliation and shame of an injustice that still haunts you in your dreams. 

It’s important that we realize that everyone’s carrying a heavy burden. It’s important that we realize everyone’s struggling with something. It’s important that we realize that everyone is fighting a hard battle. Because when we do realize that, we treat people differently. That means we surrender our tendency to judge others, to gossip, or put other people down.  

We are challenged to see one another as Christ sees us, women and men who are not perfect but in whom God has limitless love. Sometimes, we even need to see that in ourselves.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that they learn to be gentle with themselves because you got your own struggles. And give us the grace to be gentle with other people, because everybody is fighting a hard battle. Life is messy, but nobody can take your hope from you. So hold onto your hope no matter how messy life gets, and share it with everyone who crosses your path.

 

Be Happy for Lent

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It was only 5 degrees this morning when I went outside to fill the bird feeders and put warm water in the kitty bowls. You might have slept in this Sunday when your alarm clock went off in the morning, what did you do? Did you get straight out of bed, thinking it’s the First Sunday of Lent and you need to get ready to come to church and get your ashes? Or, did you roll over, and think, “I can get a few more minutes of sleep.” What just happened? You just took a few extra minutes of sleep and never got to Mass. Wrong. Resistance just kicked your butt.

Resistance is that sluggish feeling that stops us from doing the things that we know are good for us. Like, I should be coming to church every Sunday especially during Lent. It’s that sense that, “I don’t want to do that,” even though we know it’s the thing we should do. Sometimes it’s the sense that, “You know what, I’m going to do whatever I want even though I absolutely know it’s the wrong thing to do.”

Resistance is a big part of the reason why we often feel like happiness is just outside of our reach. God created each of us for happiness. You got to remember that what happened on Good Friday was designed to restore the possibility of happiness for you and me. Not only in this life, but in the next life. Because God does have this enormous desire that we experience the happiness that he created us for. And resistance absolutely gets in the way of that happiness. It gets in the way of us accomplishing our dreams. It gets in the way of us doing what we know is good for us. It gets in the way of us being the-best-version-of-ourselves. And what I want to help you discover  this Lent is that resistance is real.

So, how did you experience resistance in the last 24 hours? There will be hundreds of temptations to make excuses. You will push the idea out of coming to Mass, or fasting on Friday, or reading the bible, or donating money for the missions, or coming to the Parish Retreat or attending Holy Week services because they’re held on a Thursday or Saturday night, maybe you’ll come to Easter, just maybe, no guarantee. These are your temptations, and behind all those temptations, very often, you’re going to find resistance. What we’re talking about here, this concept of resistance, it’s real. It’s something we experience every day.

That’s really the paradox of happiness. It’s that, we know the things that make us happy, we just don’t do them. We want to be happy. In 90% of the cases, we know the things that will make us happy, but we don’t do them. Why? Resistance.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that they keep in mind that in every situation to be holy, either resistance is going to win, or you’re going to win. There’s no middle ground. So when people received ashes on their foreheads, instead of saying: “Remember you are dust and to dust you shall return.” That won’t make any of us happy, we offered this blessing prayer:

“Let go of worry and resistance and with the help of God be happy.”

Give Up Worry for Lent

Lent started for me four weeks ago when I received the news that our parish rectory suffered major water damage due to a frozen pipe. I shared with our people that I was heart broken.  For the past eighteen months, a group of dedicated volunteers have planned to restore the former convent into a hospice home. Now this parish faces another awesome challenge to discern what does Jesus want us to do with the rectory. The initial response is to dry out the damage, assess what it will take to restore the structure and decide what direction is best for the future of the parish. The possibilities can be overwhelming or depending on your perspective an exciting new opportunity.

So this morning is ash Wednesday, and let me suggest that you might want to “give up worry” for Lent.

Lesson #1: Just focus on today. Jesus says, "Do not worry about tomorrow. For tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today's trouble is enough for today." Dr. Seuss explained, "Step with care and great tact, and remember that life's a great balancing act." That said, sometimes we make it worse on ourselves. Sometimes we just make up extra stuff to worry about, like what might happen tomorrow or what could happen day after tomorrow. Dr. Seuss explains, "I've heard there are troubles of more than one kind; some come from ahead, and some come from behind. But I've brought a big bat. I'm all ready, you see; now my troubles are going to have trouble with me!"

Lesson #2: Realize that worry is a waste of time. Jesus says, "Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?" Can we? No. We can't worry a mistake away. Harsh words or actions can't be taken back. And worrying about it simply takes the focus away from what we should be doing: working to move forward and making things right. The irony is that if we stop worrying, we might be able to take some steps forward on the things we are worried about! Dr. Seuss adds, "When things start happening, don't worry, don't stew, just go right along and you'll start happening.

Lesson #3: We have no reason to worry for we are loved and worthy exactly as God designed us. Jesus taught: "Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these."

Jesus says, look, if God dresses these little flowers so beautifully, will he not even more clothe you, you of little faith? Bottom line: humans and lilies are not that different. We are both creatures molded from God's hands. We are both exquisite and perfect just as we are. Most importantly, we are loved and we are worthy. The main difference is that the lilies know it, and we don't.

Imagine this morning on this first day of Lent: the dawn is beginning to break, the skies are lightening, not quite its cloudy in western New York, the birds are beginning to chirp, and the little lily raises its beautiful face to the morning sun and says, "I feel fat. I hate what I'm wearing. Everyone hates me.” No, a lily is not going to say that. But we will. We will because we just can't trust the gift we've been given. Unlike human beings, lilies know without a doubt they are loved and worthy and beautiful exactly as they are made. There's no worry that they should be something they are not. There is no worry about where they fall short because every moment of their lives is spent living their gift--living simply as God designed them to be. As Dr. Seuss said, "Why fit in when you were born to stand out!"

Let us pray: “The Lord is my shepherd. Goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that you remind them we are your beautiful, beloved children of God. Do we not trust? Do we not have the faith that we will be cared for like the lilies of the field or the tiniest of creatures? What is the old saying? Worry or believe. You can't do both.