Prayer Forest

A number of years ago a pastor found an old abandon one room schoolhouse in the mountains. He made it a great retreat house. He transformed the one room into a hotel looking like lobby. He put in a free standing fireplace, old stuffed furniture, and hung his landscape and flower photos. Every Thursday morning after his 9:00 a.m. staff meeting, he would go there to study.

When he first got the place he ordered 500 small pine saplings. The house, while in the mountains, was in a large field of maybe 8-10 acres. No trees. So, he planted two rows of 57 trees on the long driveway leading up to the house. And the rest he planted on the fence line and other various places. Then there was an area quite large across a gully. He planted the trees there real close together like 3 feet, some less, some more. It was going to be a Prayer Forest. After the trees grew he was planning on going in and make a meandering trail to a large opening.

The prayer forest never occurred. The beautiful 2 rows of closely planted trees on the drive way are not there today. They never made it to what he had planned for them because of the hot spring/summer and lack of water. The only 11 that remain to this day are the ones close to the house. They were the ones that got his special attention. (There was no way to water hundreds of little trees so far away from water.)

In going through a drought in living - you know those hot times when nothing seemingly is going right, we need "the water of life" What I do, when I feel I am getting drained of sap is to go to Jesus and ask for refreshment and take a walk in my mind in my Prayer Forest. No, I can't see or physically taste the water, but there is something in my soul that responds to the refreshment. I can then lift my limbs in praise and thanksgiving.

God prays for us as we reflect: Jesus declares himself to be that water. “Whoever believes in me, streams of living water will flow from within them." (John 7:38).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are experiencing the drought of living and ask that they be like the 11 remaining trees which are strong, healthy and tall. Let us be the tree planted by the river that survives. May the spirit help you to drink deeply from the never-ending supply of life flowing water.

A Mother's Silence

I suppose every child remembers some special virtue their mother has, some piece of wisdom that saved them from disaster or a word that made the path infinitely easier. I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing.

Our mother’s silence during the times I fell flat on my face, made a lousy judgment, and took a stand that I had to pay dearly for . . . I thank her for all her virtues, but mostly for never once having said, ‘I told you so.’

On this special day we are mindful that mothers are being remembered and celebrated and offer this prayer for the joys and sorrows this day brings.

For those who have a mother they dearly love, may we take time today to appreciate the gifts and graces that have come to them through their mother.

For those whose mother is dearly loved but no longer living, may we take time to remember the gifts and graces that have come to us through her.

For those who have recently lost or who are facing the imminent loss of their own dear mothers, may they find comfort in their grief, hope in their despair, courage in the love they have received.

We give thanks, God, for these good mothers who gave us birth. We give thanks for the mothers who support us in our living, who said absolutely nothing at the worse of times.

We pray, compassionate God, for those whose mother has been a source of hurt and pain, for all those for whom one or more members of their family has caused them to suffer. May they find refuge in your love. May their wounds be healed.

We give thanks to you, O God, for all those who, responding to the difficult lives of others, have stepped in to become surrogate mothers; for those who, in the absence of our own mothers, for whatever reason, have stepped into our lives to guide, to nurture and provide the stability and the love needed.

We remember single mothers and fathers who struggle to be both parents to their children--to provide all the emotional, physical and spiritual needs without the constant support of a spouse. May they find the strength, the courage and wisdom for their task.

Look now, loving God, upon all those who are mothers--biologically or by the role they play as teachers, mentors, professors, in the lives of others. We join all mothers everywhere in praying that their children may be a joy and a blessing.

We pray for those mothers who have been hurt, disillusioned, or disappointed in their role as mother. We pray for those who have been denied a longed-for chance at motherhood, and for those whose years of mothering have been cut short by the loss of a child. We turn to You, most compassionate God, knowing that you can bring consolation that seems impossible. May these mothers receive comfort for their soul and peace and hope for living that their gifts may not be denied to others.

Hear our prayers this day, O God, and give to us such assurance of your love that your love may spill forth from us into the lives of others.

River of Light

In his book The Art of Pilgrimage, Phil Cousineau writes that in every pilgrimage, there is a secret room, a place along the path that gives us insight into the deep mystery of our journey. In describing this hidden room, Cousineau draws on a story that poet Donald Hall tells of friends who purchased an old farmhouse. Cousineau writes,

“It was a ‘warren of small rooms,’ and once they settled in and began to furnish their new home they realized that the lay of the house made little sense. Peeling off some wallpaper, they found a door that they pried open to reveal a tiny room, sealed off and hidden, goodness knows why: They found no corpses nor stolen goods.” For Hall, the mystery of poetry to evoke powerful feelings finds its analogy here, in its ability to be sealed away from explanation, this is the place where ‘the unsayable gathers.’

And so it is on the pilgrim’s path. Everywhere you go, there is a secret room. You must find your own, in a small chapel, a tiny cafe, a quiet park, the home of a new friend, the pew where the morning light strikes the rose window just so. As a pilgrim you must find it or you will never understand the hidden reasons why you really left home.

Where is your secret room? Let me share my quiet room on Easter morning. I am perched high on a hill in Ellison Park. It is 6am. My fingers are freezing holding the camera on a monopod, waiting for first light. The predawn sky is showing signs of light with colors of red and purple. The clouds are quite strange and unusual.

The sunlight that peaks over the hill is harsh and bright. No cute orange ball here to show off to your friends. Rather, something more mysterious and profound is happening due to the cloud formation. The sun behind the clouds is creating a “river of light” that seems to flow from a waterfall cascading through the clouds. You see the stunning moment is not the sun coming over the horizon, but rather, how the light streams through the clouds in patterns and shapes that form a river of light.

Perhaps this is the true meaning of Easter, This is the place where ‘the unsayable gathers.’ Each second, the scene changes as the sun slowly rises piercing it sunlight through the clouds, each moment a living link with our maker, each an embodiment of his vision and love, each a threshold beckoning me deeper into my own creative path and reminding me why I set out on it in the first place.

And you? Did the pilgrimage through Lent offer you a secret room? Somewhere along the way, did you find a place that offered, not an explanation of your path, but a window onto it, a space within it that enabled you to see it anew, and the one who called you there? Where was it, and what did you find there? How does it illuminate the way before you?

God prays for us as we reflect: “There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.” (Psalm 46:4).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that they remember that Easter is not just a day but rather a season. May the gift and challenge of the resurrection go with you, and may the path ahead be graced with secret rooms and sunrises that flow like a river of light.

Whos's Gonna Move That Rock, Ladies?

These three ladies--Mary Magdalene, Mary, the mother of James, and Salome--are making their way to the tomb with the intention of anointing the dead, lifeless body of Jesus with spices. So early Sunday morning, the morning after the Sabbath, these ladies got up with the intention of anointing the dead body of Jesus. That was their plan. That’s what they intended to do--nothing more, nothing less.

They were not expecting a miracle. They were not expecting the Resurrection. They were certainly not expecting Jesus to be alive. They were not expecting anything of significance to happen. They were simply going to the tomb for the gruesome, heart wrenching task of anointing the dead, lifeless body of Jesus.

As they were walking down the road to get to the tomb, it dawns on one of them, that they have a problem--a rather significant problem. A big question arises. The women ask each other, “Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?”

It’s a very good question. They can’t roll the stone away themselves. How are three little women going to make that rock roll? How in the world are they going to move that thing?

A family bought some boulders for landscaping--really, big rocks to use as part of their landscape design for the front of the house. One of the boulders seemed really, really big, and because of the tendency to change her mind someone reminded mom: “you tell us exactly where you want this rock because once it’s on the ground, it’s not moving.” This huge boulder is not like the end tables, couch and everything else that’s not nailed down in our house that seems to be moved every other Saturday. Once this baby is in place--it’s there until Jesus returns.”

Who is going to move the rock from in front of the tomb? Now you understand it’s a perfectly good question . . . if Jesus were still in the tomb. If Jesus were as dead as dead could be then that would be a very good question to ask. Who is going to remove the stone? It is a question that I hear people asking even today.

People say: “I have a huge obstacle to overcome. I was abandoned as a child, how can I ever feel accepted? Good question . . . if Jesus were still in the tomb. Or they say, “My life is in shambles after being laid off, when will I ever find work again?“ Or they say, “My alcoholic mother told me don't expect any help to care for my brat once my baby was born, how can I ever forgive her for her cruel and bitter attitude? My marriage is a mess, how could it ever be made right? Good question . . . if Jesus were still in the tomb. I hear students complain, “I’m failing the semester and in such a rut over a bad habit—alcohol and drugs or whatever--how can I ever break free?” Good question . . . if Jesus were still in the tomb!

But people, it’s a brand new day! Jesus is not in that old grave! He is not in the tomb. You won’t find a tombstone that reads: “Here lies Jesus Christ. May He rest in peace.” No! Jesus is alive. And just as He conquered death and defeated our ultimate foe He can defeat whatever burdens you are experiencing at this moment. This is a day for hope not despair. There is no obstacle in your life that He can not handle!

Who’s gonna move that rock, ladies? Jesus has already taken care of that problem! Who’s going to take care of obstacles in your life? Jesus Christ is more than able to handle anything that comes your way.

God prays for us as we reflect: “The Lord lives! Praise be to my Rock!” (Psalm 18:46).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends on this Resurrection Day. With this prayer of faith. He was bruised and brought healing! He was dead and brought life! When I fall, He lifts me up! When I fail, He forgives! When I am weak, He is strong! When I am lost, He is the way! When I am afraid, He is my courage! When I stumble, He steadies me! When I am hurt, He heals me! When I am broken, He mends me! When I face problems, He comforts me! When I face death, He carries me home! God is by my side and all is well with my soul.

New Vision

So where are your palms this morning? Of course, you came to church yesterday because they were giving something away for free. But as you held those palms during the reading of the passion story, let me give you another insight on their purpose. You know these palms once dried will become next year’s ashes to mark the beginning of Lent. However, by holding these palms in your hands I like to take you back to the Stations of the Cross and have you stand at the Fifth Station: Simon is “forced” to carry Jesus' cross.

Let me give you a glimpse of what this station is really all about. These who stand a long time at this station are all the people who carry crosses they did not want or ask for or bargain for. No one wanted to lose his or her job, or home. No one wanted the bipolar spouse or dementia parent, the physically challenged child, the cancer, the addiction, the divorce, the depression unwanted crosses of all descriptions.

Too many of us have the name of Simon of Cyrene, and mildly put, we are steamed and angry with God and frustrated—not to say exhausted. But the longer we stand here, the more we absorb the tradition that says that if Simon started out with anger—he wanted no part of Jesus’ crosses; he was forced into it. Despite our major temper tantrums, when we scream, “not again Lord.” We find ourselves “forced” into dilemmas we never planned on and certainly don not need at this season of our life.

However, despite these crosses, something creeps into our vision. After a time of carrying the cross with Jesus, like Simon of Cyrene we are both moved to understanding, and from understanding we move on to love, and from love we move into our salvation, and became, as it were, a co-redeemer with Jesus. Could this be your calling?

God prays for us as we reflect: “Save your people and bless your inheritance; be their shepherd and carry them forever. (Psalm 28:9).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends during Holy Week that we receive the grace of compassion to help carry the crosses that will be placed into our hands like those palms. With your strength, may we receive the grace to lift the crosses of our friends and gently lead them in their journey to your healing hands and heart.

Every Parent

I’m the crossbearer for the Stations of the Cross. As we walk down the side aisle to the first station, Fr. Alex begins the prayer: “We adore You O Christ and we love You” and the congregation responds: “Because by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world.” Little did I realize the meaning of what we were doing? This is an ancient Catholic tradition dating to medieval times. The images along the side of the church are stations or stationary standing places depicting the passion. The pilgrim of yesterday and today is to stand before the depiction of Jesus’ way to the cross for two reasons. One is to meditate on the scene, but the other, far more important, is to enter into it. That is, to be a participate, to take on the role of some character. So let me illustrate that by asking you in your heart to journey with me along these stations. Here you are, standing at:

The Fourth station: Mary's heart was broken not only because she saw her son publicly disgraced and humiliated, going to his death as a common criminal, but most of all, that she could not help him. How gladly she would change places with him, but she was restrained by the soldiers.

Mary is “every parent” unable to save their children. Every parent who watches by the hospital bed after a car accident, every parent who has buried a child after a tragic DWI, every parent who stands helplessly watching their college son or daughter fail in school due to a lack of responsibility, too many parties, too much drugs and alcohol, every parent who knows how careless we were at their age, ignoring our “well-meaning lectures,” every parent whose unending prayers pleads with God to forgive their child whose has left the faith, every parent who listens through the tears of their son or daughter whose marriage is falling apart, every parent who hears the verdict that leads to jail time.

Mary is every parent with arms achingly outstretched because they so badly want to save their child and can’t, at least not right now. They silently offer prayers and their tears and we know in their heart that a last-minute thief is snatched to paradise because one mother or father, perhaps now long since dead, earned mercy for them.

God prays for us as we reflect: “Guard my ‘child’s’ life and rescue them; let them not be put to shame, for we take refuge in you.” (Psalm 25:20).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Parents who would gladly change places with their child when faced with danger and shame. Sweet Mary, give us courage to carry the sorrows of our children and the strength to stand at their side always with arms outstretched to offer Your mercy and love. We adore You O Christ and we love You, because by Your Holy Cross You have redeem the world.

The Holy Shadow

There is a story about a man who is so good that the angels ask God to give this kind man the gift of miracles. God wisely tells them to ask this sweetheart if that is what he would wish. So the angels visit this good man and offer him first the gift of healing by hands, then the gift of conversion of souls, and lastly the gift of virtue. The gentle soul refuses them all. The angels insist that he choose a gift or they will choose one for him. He replies, ”I ask that I may do a great deal of good without ever knowing it.” The story ends this way.

The angels were perplexed. They took counsel and resolved upon the following plan. Every time the saint’s shadow fell behind him it would have the power to cure disease, soothe pain, and comfort sorrow. As he walked, behind him his shadow made arid paths green, caused withered plants to bloom, gave clear water to dried-up brooks, fresh color to pale children, and joy to unhappy men and women. The saint simply went about his daily life diffusing virtue as the stars diffuse light and the flowers scent, without ever being aware of it. The people respecting his humility follower him silently, never speaking to him about his miracles. Soon they even forgot his name and called him “the Holy Shadow.”

It may be comforting to think of yourself as someone who may be of help in ways that we don’t even realize. Indeed, we are called upon to carry crosses that we do not want or ask for. The sick parents, the job loss, our child’s addiction, the divorce, the depression, unwanted crosses of all kinds. We get angry with God and frustrated. Often we feel forced into situations we never planned for. However, after a time of carrying this cross with Jesus, we move to understanding and from understanding to love, and from love to our salvation. Could this be our calling?

We are invited to pray for many people. Remember, praying for a person who you do not know is an example of being a holy shadow.

God prays for us as we reflect: “Because you are my help, I will sing in the shadow of your wings.” (Psalm 63:7).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends who do many wonderful things for their neighbors to bring them healing, forgiveness and peace. Wherever we walk, may our shadows be the grace that brings hope to those whose hearts and souls are in need of God’s healing touch.

Garden of Forgiveness

The “Magic in You” is the story of a flower that has taken root by a roadway at the edge of a beautiful forest. She is small in comparison to the other flowers and is teased for her insignificant stature. A Billy goat comes along and eats one of her pretty golden petals. Then a car drives by and runs over one of her leaves, leaving the flower in quite a forlorn state.

Sometimes people come into our lives with every intention of “running us over” just like the rude car. They drain us emotionally as well as spiritually and some times even financially. When they are finished, they leave us broken and distraught. How can we ever heal from such a painfully disastrous experience, especially when the perpetrators are long gone and there is no one left to confront?

People also come into our lives that make selfish decisions, like Mr. Billy goat. They give no thought to the consequences that their actions may have on the people around them. As a result we feel used, as if a part of our dignity has been violated. If we are not anchored in our worth, a variety of thoughts and emotions can wreak havoc within us. We may even wonder if the incident was actually our own fault, leading us to deeper despair.

In the little flower’s despair she begins to cry, which gains the attention of a nearby woodland fairy. The little flower sobs, “I just don’t know why I am growing here, by the side of the road, I mean. All the other flowers make fun of me. I wasn’t feeling very pretty, and I wasn’t feeling very smart….Maybe, you could wave your magic wand and make me beautiful. Then I would surely be happy.” The fairy replied, “You do not need my magic to become beautiful, or happy. You can become a happy, beautiful little flower any time you want.”

God sees the potential for good in each one of us despite the crushing blows we have suffered on the side of the road. Like the careful gardener, God comes to nourish and heal our broken spirits with the wind of hope and the peace that will bind up all our wounds. That little flower quickly learns that though her circumstances may be less than ideal, she has the power to affect the lives of other living creatures by what she can give—kindness, love, and most of all, forgiveness.

I like to encourage everyone to plant a Forgiveness Garden this spring. The healing power of nature is a perfect compliment to the healing power of forgiveness. As you plant your Garden of Forgiveness, you will help to heal your own heart and soul and body. April 2nd, 2009 is Reconciliation Day in which florists are promoting forgiveness and reconciliation by sending a “Garden Atonement” bouquet intended to reconnect and repair strained relationships. Who needs a forgiveness bouquet sent from your heart?

God prays for us as we reflect: “Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the chirping of robin is heard in our land.” (Song of Solomon 2:12).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends who have experienced the crushing blows and pains of selfishness and felt insignificant. May we turn our hearts and gardens into images of forgiveness that reflect our God’s desire to reconcile all his creatures great and small.

Looking Through Your Heart

A young woman was falling back into her old patterns of oversleeping and depression. She was going through a difficult time since her layoff in January. She was dealing with her nasty depression, financial worries, struggle with a relationship, and a sense that her life was falling apart. I suppose you could call it a wilderness experience. In the midst of it she had a kind of spiritual awakening in which she actually began to pray to God not knowing who or what God was but she was convinced to follow through on the experience with the help of others.

In her wilderness search, she asked her spiritual director for an answer to her dilemma. "I want to have a lasting experience of God," She told him. "Sometimes I feel like I understand the divinity of this world, but then I lose it because I get distracted by my petty desires and fears. I want to be with God all the time. But I don't want to be a monk, or totally give up worldly pleasures. I guess what I want to learn is how to live in this world and enjoy its delights, but also devote myself to God."

Her spiritual director said he could answer her question with a picture. He showed her a sketch he had drawn once during meditation. It was an androgynous human figure, standing up, hands clasped in prayer. But this figure had four legs, and no head. Where the head should have been, there was only wild foliage of ferns and flowers. There was a small, smiling face drawn over the heart. "To find the balance you want," he shared this image. “This is what you must become. You must keep your feet grounded so firmly on the earth that it's like you have four legs, instead of two. That way, you can stay in the world. But you must stop looking at the world through your head. You must look through your heart, instead. That way, you will know God."

I believe this is the way that Jesus lived. He had his feet firmly in the world but also looked at the world through his heart. For Jesus' purpose was God's purpose and that was to care for people, to invest his life for people, to serve people, to show the world the power of love. It should be a stronger word than "purpose." It was a "passion." This was acting on the "heart" rather than considering what was the safest and more practical way of acting according to the head. Every day of his life he chose service over self-interest.

If we are to follow the way of Jesus we have to act with the same passion. There are many roadblocks along that road. There are times that you just have to act, trusting that what you have learned of Jesus' way will be in every breath and fiber of your actions - moving beyond thought to action in faith, courage and determination. That is, keeping our feet firmly on the ground and looking at the world through the heart. That is the way that we will know God.

God prays for us as we reflect: “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.” (Psalm 28:7).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that they keep their feet firmly on the ground and not stumble on the roadblocks of life. Let the Spirit come into their hearts so that they will act with passion and trust that God is their strength and light.

We Are On The Move

I noticed my no name wristwatch was beginning to run slow that indicates time for a new battery. It was running 10 minutes slow and heaven forbid that I start late for Mass or fail to get all my work done by the end of day. We are bound by time due to deadlines, or some internal clock that says, “get your work done.” Sadly, many people are running out of time after being laid off and their severance is scheduled to run out. A few people ran out of energy before they began their job search because of chronic depression and fear. It’s moments like these that we need to recharge our battery and look to God for wisdom. The forecast for this morning is that a major snowstorm is heading up the east coast. Despite this dire prediction, we are gaining six minutes of light each day and realize that spring is truly on the way.

During Lent, Jesus is on the move, bringing with him God’s kingdom that is electrifying. Instantly crowd’s start coming to him, looking for and finding the healing that they assume will signal the arrival of the Messiah. But Jesus’ announcement of the kingdom and the good news is about far more than just individual healing from disease, and that is something that many of those who crowd around him never seem to grasp. Physical healing – however welcome - simply allows them to go back to the life they had before. What Jesus is really announcing is a whole new life, a whole new way of thinking and seeing, something he calls the kingdom of God.

At the heart of that kingdom isn’t a set of policies, some rules and regulations. At the heart of that kingdom, at the center of his message is a relationship, a relationship with God. That’s what really matters, he says. Understand that relationship right, catch a hold of it and treasure it and all the rest will follow.

Notice how the Sonshine list of prayers for our special friends has grown from a few to a few hundred. You are moved to pray for your loved ones because you know their suffering and pain. Your desire is a moment of grace to remember the beautiful story of your relationship that you have with them. So now is a good time to include them in your daily prayers.

They are your starlight friends whom you know or have known when you walked with them during their struggle and hardship. You deal with the fact that their struggles were not going to be cured like you hoped and prayed for. Despite the emotional or physical pain in the relationship, you discovered that your friend’s disabilities didn’t alter the love you have for them at all. Whatever they are going through, whatever they were capable of, or not capable of, this was your friend, and you loved them. Your prayers are like a healing salve.

It is this kind of relationship, this kind of love, a love that transcends the frailties of humanity – physical, mental, or moral – that Jesus comes to declare. Christian faith is about this relationship with God. It is about learning to trust its strength and indestructibility as we come to God to ask for healing and forgiveness. It’s about learning to live in its light as we let it shape our lives and our attitudes to those around us, who are as much beloved of God as we are.

God prays for us as we reflect: “And a highway will be there; it will be called the Way of Holiness.” (Isaiah 35:8).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends and all their living and deceased special friends that as we share in Jesus’ forty days of reflection and struggle, we hear those words that Jesus heard, “You are my beloved daughter, my beloved son; with you I am well-pleased.” Let’s ask ourselves what it might mean really, deeply to believe those words and to live by them.

Soften My Heart

Which friend do you call when you are going through a crisis moment? Someone you trust who knows your pain by experience and shares their wisdom and peace.

Once a daughter struggled with a terrible conflict with her mother. Her mother had been dead for several years. This daughter prayed for her heart to soften. She prayed that she be able to forgive her mom and love her for what she did give her: life, values, a lot of piano lessons, and the best she could do. Unfortunately, the best she could do was terrible…and her heart remained hardened toward her mom for many years.

For the first two years after her death, her mother’s ashes sat in her closet. This young woman moved them one day at last to a corner of the living room--a small thing? No, A huge thing. Jesus understands that things like forgiving your mother take a long time. If not your parent, then perhaps your former spouse, your boss, your child, or even God after your best friends have died in a plane crash.

I don’t think Jesus was rolling his eyes impatiently at this daughter while she had her mother’s ashes in the closet. I don’t think much surprises Jesus. This is how we make important changes—barely, poorly, and slowly. And still, he raises his hands in triumph. We need such lived wisdom from those wounded by life’s experience. And from those who have known pain.

There was once an ancient temple bell famous for its beautiful tone. It had been commissioned by the king as a way of showing his people’s devotion to Buddha; for the king’s advisors believed that making a temple bell would keep the nation safe from foreign invasion. So the king approached the greatest bell maker in the realm. This craftsman worked hard and produced many bells, but none that was extraordinary, none that had a special tone.

Finally, he went to the king and told him that the only way to get the kind of bell he wanted was to sacrifice a young child. So the soldiers fetch a young girl. When the child was taken away, her mother cried out piteously, Emille.

At last the bell maker succeeded, the bell, called the Emille Bell, made a sound more beautiful than any other. When it rang. Most people praised the art that had produced such a beautiful sound. But whenever the mother whose child had been sacrificed heard it, her heart broke anew. She could only hear the beautiful tone with pain.

You see, only those who understand the sacrifice can feel the pain. Others just enjoy the sound.

God prays for us as we reflect: “May he remember all your sacrifices…” (Psalm 20:3).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that in times of trouble they find friends who have lived the pain and hold the wisdom to help them find patience and perseverance in their suffering.
May we pray for guidance from the spirit who “softens our hearts” and finds peace during this Lenten Season.

By Our Side

As the president of a local company informed his co-workers that four of their colleagues had died in an airline crash in Buffalo, I could feel my stomach churn inside. My legs were quivering for once again I was standing by the side of a group of people stunned with profound grief. As there leader expressed, no words seemed adequate to convey their sorrow. Memories returned to holding the hands of patients at Strong or offering prayers in the JFK terminal after 9/11. I was being escorted by a spirit-filled co-worker from one cubicle to another to listen and offer healing and hope.

Many beautiful stories were being filtered by co-workers that revealed something special about their lost comrades. Stories about their brilliance in the field, their mentoring skills, their families and grandchildren left behind. As I toured the offices, I observed the deceased office desks piled high with work yet sprinkled with images of babies, pets, art work from the kids and images of special moments that celebrated a wedding day or special vacation.

Let me remind you that Jesus walks with us in our our brokenness, in those situations in life when we simply fall down on our knees and weep. We are not alone, for we have one willing to kneel by our side, and be by our side.

Remember the gospel story about a leper who came to Jesus, and said "If you will, you can make me clean " Notice the words of this man, "If you will." He was taking a risk and putting his whole life into the hands of Jesus. He had heard that he was a man of compassion and a man of power. In times of intense sorrow we need to take on this man’s heart when he says to himself. “I wonder if he can make me well? No, I don't wonder, I believe, I know deep within me that he can. I will go and ask that whatever he wills for my life, then so be it. I will approach Jesus and ask that his will be done in my life."

And we know the rest of the story, Jesus moved with piety stretched out his hand and touched him and said: " I will; be clean." Jesus acted because he knew how lonely, how miserable, how forsaken this person was. Jesus acted because no one else would. Jesus acted because the rest of society ignored this individual, Jesus acted because sadly this man's own religion couldn't be bothered.

In moments of intense sorrow that defy any explanation that leave us speechless, the leper choose to simply let go and let God take on his pain and sorrow. I wonder how many of us could say to Jesus, take my life and whatever you will for it, so be it? Isn't that what Christianity is all about? Surrendering ourselves to God, then letting his will of love be done in our lives.

I chose this image of the bleeding hearts reaching into the darkness to reflect the love of a compassionate God. I was privileged to witness that love as co-workers hugged and shared their stories about their friends. I believe that each of us are little Christ's, we are his hands of compassion, his hands of healing; his hands of love in a world crying for someone to care. Any time we see people hurting, we see people living with burdens, we see people afflicted with disease, we are compelled as Jesus was to reach out a hand to try with all of our strength to bring some measure of peace and comfort into that person's live.

God prays for us as we reflect: “Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth. (Psalm 31:5).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are on their knees due to sadness or rejection from those who fail to understand. Help us to walk with these “little ones” with your hands of acceptance and understanding. May our spirit of healing and compassion reach out to all in need, especially our neighbors in Buffalo at this time.

Healing Spaces

Many of the Mercy sisters attend the Motherhouse Eucharist accompanied by their walker or wheelchair. One exception was Sister Faith who radiated a sense of youth with her gracious smile and vibrant walk without the use of any aid. However, all that changed in an instant when she tripped on a carpet and fell head first into a wall. Eleven stitches later and a twisted knee, Sister Faith was sitting in her room; lamenting that she did not want to be a bother to her sisters and asked for prayers that she would not need any surgery on her right knee.

She was humbled by all the phone calls and get-well cards from her fans throughout the country who heard about her “trip.” But her real journey was not her experience in the emergency room, but rather, a journey into her soul which she had never experience in her life.

Like most patients she prayed for a cure, relief from the pain and the desire to get back to where she was before the freak accident. Instead, she sat in her chair with her elevated leg in a soft cast and her companions were the medicine bottles, blankets, bed, water glass and the holy cards with prayers in times of illness.

Cures aim at returning our bodies to what they were in the past, healing uses what is present to move us more deeply to "soul awareness." Although Sister Faith prayers for a cure and complete recovery, she admits that she has undergone a profound healing of mind and heart. This healing that refers to the soul can happen without cure. In fact, it is often the uncured sickness that the healing begins.

When we come face to face with our disease--cancer, broken heart, layoff panic, chronic addiction, debilitating grief, our focus is redirected to the inner healing process that is triggered by our illness. At that moment, we become profoundly aware to the meaning of life, what we need to let go of and what we need to keep.

Sitting meditatively in her chair beside her bed, Sister Faith senses the witness of her bed, the family photos on her dresser, the blankets, even the snow covered trees outside his window, finally observing the truth, that some secrets are hidden from health.

Sister Faith is right. Some patients report a greater sense of being alive and in communion with others when they were sick. When they were cured, they returned to normal life, a life often characterized by routine. Cure of the body actually threatens healing of the soul. After a period of distress we realize that something amazing happens. We simply stop doing everything that wasn’t essential, that didn’t matter. Our illness of whatever nature becomes our greatest source of peace.

Jesus cured some, not all. He was more interested in healing; healing the soul, Sometimes, gospel wisdom tells us that an uncured body brings about a healed soul.

God prays for us as we reflect: “O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.” (Psalm 30:2).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who need the assistance of their walkers, canes and wheelchairs. As they look around their room and pray for a cure, help them to focus on healing the soul that comes with weakness that helps us to feel the need for God. Sometimes we think that we get nothing we asked for but despite ourselves, our unspoken prayers are answered for we are truly blessed by a God who cares.

Melting Snow

At an engagement party, the guests were comparing which city in Upstate New York had the most snow for the winter. Buffalo has a slight lead with 85.9 compared to Rochester’s 85.3 inches. However, Syracuse has been hammered with 123 inches. Despite our whining, and after the Superbowl frenzy, I thought I share this wonderful story about melting snow.

Ice clung to the branches of the trees as Kay and Michael sat together in the park in the center of town. They would have been considered oddities, sitting on a frozen park bench in the dead of winter, had the town not simply become used to the seeing them each evening around six, quietly holding hands in the town square.

No one questioned their behavior, or snickered, or sneered sarcastically at the sight of the oddity. Eccentricities were simply accepted in the small town in Northern Michigan. People lived in each others' pockets, as they say.

Kay and Michael, bundled up with winter coats, sitting in front of an icy statue of the town's founder, were dreaming. Michael knowingly gave Kay's hand a squeeze. He loved her. She squeezed back. The snow slowly fell before them.

Kay was remembering. So was Michael. Now in their early-sixties, they recalled their life together. With a knowing squeeze of the other's hand, both of them traveled back to another time, when love was on the ocean breeze. It was in the ocean air that they breathed every morning while they were on their honeymoon.

Michael took a deep breath through his nose, smelling the ocean air. He closed his eyes and smiled, thinking back to forty years prior. The sound of the water and the scent of the beach filled their tiny bungalow in Hawaii. He could feel her breathe.

He closed his arm around her down jacket. Michael looked at Kay. And she knew.

Hawaii was with them. The cliffs and palm trees. The beaches. The breath-taking beauty. Deep jungle, green vegetation and clear waterfalls. The warm morning rain that sometimes came in the afternoon. Walking in the deep night on the beach.

His glove touched her face.

She smiled.

With a gentle squeeze and another thought of hot sands and warm ocean water, they felt the wet snow melting on their faces.

God prays for us as we reflect: “My mouth will speak words of wisdom; the utterance from my heart will give understanding. (Psalm 49:3)

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who suffer depression from the cold and lack of sunlight. Let them imagine being lifted out of the cold and taken away from the ice to a time when they could feel a gentle breeze and breath in the beauty of green vegetation and clear waterfalls. It has indeed been a harsh winter. We had been humbled by mother nature, unable to rush about in our usual way, confined to our homes, literally speechless from the power of the weather. In the silence we learn the valuable lessons of humility, patience and the overwhelming presence of God. It is God’s way of telling us to be quiet and listen. God loves you and wants you to listen because God wants the best for your lives.

We Grow By Falling Apart

The signs of the time seem to be panic and fear. Sadly, in the workplace, friends, family and co-workers after many loyal years of service are being ushered out the doors by their employers. As a survivor, you might be thinking: “when will it be my turn.”

Ancient myths teach that we grow by falling apart. They suggest a person needs to “descend into the underworld”, to live in darkness for a while, to sit in ashes so as to move to a deeper place inside of life; the mystics talk about “dark nights of the soul” as being necessary to bring about maturity.

All of these images point to the same deep truth, sometimes in order to grow we must first fall apart, go into the dark, lose our grip on what’s normal, enter into a frightening chaos, lose our everyday securities, and be carried in pain to a place where, for all kinds of reasons, we weren’t ready to go to on our own.

Why? Isn’t there a more pleasant route to maturity?

Let me share this image: The best wines have to be aged in cracked, old barrels. And so too the human soul, it mellows, takes on character, and comes to compassion only when there are real cracks, painful ones, in the body and life of the one who carries it. Our successes, bring us glory, while our pain brings us character and compassion. Pain, and sometimes only pain, serves to mellow the soul. Jesus was brought to compassion through “sweating blood in Gethsemane” and then dying a humiliating death on the cross.

But almost every instinct inside of us resists this wisdom. We don’t like living in tension, try at all costs to avoid pain, fear chaos, are ashamed of our humiliations, and panic when our old securities fall away and we are left in the dark, unsure of things. So our natural instinct is to get out of the darkness and tension as quickly as possible, before the pain has had its chance to mellow our souls, purify our hearts, bring us to a deeper level of maturity and compassion, and do its full purifying work within us.

The wisdom of the mystics tell us: When you lose your securities, when you find yourself in an emotional and a spiritual free-fall, when you are in the belly of the whale, let go, detach yourself, let the pain carry you to where it needs to take you, don’t resist, rather weep, wail, cry, and wait. Just wait. You are like a baby being weaned from its mother’s breast and forced to learn a new way of nourishing yourself. Anything you do to stop what’s happening will only delay the inevitable, the pain that must be gone through in order come to a new maturity.

Advice to anyone undergoing this kind of crisis of soul: Care rather than cure. Organize your life to support the process. You are incubating your soul, not living a heroic adventure. Arrange your life accordingly. Tone it down. Get what comforts you can, but don’t move against the process. Concentrate, reflect, pray, think, and talk about your situation seriously with trusted friends.

God prays for us as we reflect: “My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.” (Psalm 119:50).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are suffering from the lost of their jobs, their homes, their health. May they experience the comfort and compassion that comes from trusted friends who help us walk through our tears. Don’t be afraid to suffer, give the heaviness back to the weight of the earth; mountains are heavy, seas are heavy. Know that the Lord hears your cry for help and promises to bring you strength and wisdom.

Perhaps There Remains A Spark

In London, there is a house for, as they say, "fallen people". It is like a half-way house here in the states. Nevertheless, near the front door of this house is a figure of a child blowing on a dying ember. This motto appears: "Perhaps there remains a spark."

Yesterday, it was a day for hope for a nation that is struggling in many ways. At the inauguration ceremony, our new president gave a message that profoundly represents this idea of hope. Hope does not soon abandon that which does not promise well; it makes the most of "littles" and the efforts of whom I like to refer to as the “little ones,” those folks who surprise us with their creativity and generosity like the students at Newman. Hope fans the spark into flame; it reflects a rainbow against the darkest cloud; it pictures tomorrow brighter than today.

By its magic word fountains spring up in the parched desert, honey comes out of the barren rock... and the streams of difficulties parts at the feet of the advancing pilgrim.

Hope has something to offset every discouragement. It gathers the sunbeams from near and far and causes them to shine upon the pathway. It rings a bell of gladness in the dull ears of those who are struggling in the valley, weighed down by their crosses.

In going through a difficult time, one thing that will get us through is "hope"......and to believe that at "any time" things can change. This morning our president and his staff started their day with prayer at the national cathedral to ask God to bless them in their work. I would ask that you pray for wisdom for our leaders as they begin a new day. "…if any of you needs wisdom, you should ask God for it. He is generous and enjoys giving to all people, so he will give you wisdom" (James 1:5).

God prays for us as we reflect: "It is good that one should have hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord...there may yet be hope." (Lamentations 3:26,29).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends that the level of hope rise like a buoy in your heart. May there be a spark in you this day and may the Holy Spirit be the fan. Give wisdom and hope to our president and his staff.

Follow Your Bliss

Author Joseph Campbell often talked about "following your bliss." I heard of a bus driver in Chicago who does just that.

He sings while he drives. That’s right... sings! And I don’t mean he sings softly to himself, either. He sings so that the whole bus can hear! All day long he drives and sings.

He was once interviewed on Chicago television. He said that he is not actually a bus driver. "I’m a professional singer," he asserted. "I only drive the bus to get a captive audience every single day."

His "bliss" is not driving a bus, though that may be a source of enjoyment for some people. His bliss is singing. And the supervisors at the Chicago Transit Authority are perfectly happy about the whole arrangement. You see, people line up to ride his bus. They even let other busses pass by so they can ride with the "singing bus driver." They love it!

Here is a man who believes he knows why he was put here on earth. For him, it is to make people happy. And the more he sings, the more people he makes happy! He has found a way to align his purpose in living with his occupation. By following his bliss, he is actually living the kind of life he believes he was meant to live.

Not everybody can identify a purpose in life. But when you do, and when you pursue it, you will be living the kind of life you feel you were meant to live. And what’s more, you will be happy.

When are you happy these days? Knee deep in a snow bank, peering through the lens to capture the light and shadow makes me happy. Capturing a poinsettia bloom nestled among hundreds of other plants or witnessing the pre-dawn sun as its subtle light falls on snow covered evergreens. Then it might be arranging a Spring bouquet of flowers, or brushing Rhythm, a blind horse in one eye who helps me get my balance after another busy week.

God prays for us as we reflect: “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy…” (Psalm 30:11).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that they may be filled with many moments of joy hugging grandkids, enjoying the beauty of a winter snowfall, or sharing a table with family and friends. May our souls leap for joy as we discover your presence in all things great and small.

Wisdom Flows Like a River

It is always sad to see my neighbors put out their Christmas trees by the curb the day after Christmas. Christians realize that the season needs to dwell in our hearts all year long. So, before I put away my Christmas decorations, I thought I take a second look at some of those Christmas cards received from family and friends. Note, that a few arrive via the internet with music and dancing reindeer. Tradition has it that we simply write our names, but I will take the liberty of adding a reflection on what I know is going on with these wonderful folks.

Dear Father Matt, this is your deacon Stan and his beloved Marlene. We have continued to struggle together this past year with her miserable cancer. Stan’s writes that his beloved is a star of courage and strength through all the tests and treatments. Now the disease is in remission and this has been a year of rebuilding her strength. The gift this couple brings to the manger is gratitude and their prayer to the Christ Child is for more healing and perseverance.

Dear Father Matt, Phil tells me that his beloved Kathryn only 38 years-old died a month ago. In his darkness and grief, he shared stories of his angel who served as a nurse and worked many long hours to take care of her patients. He worried about the long hours she put in and felt so guilty that he wasn’t able to save her when she died in her sleep. This sorrowful man comes to the manger with his despair, guilt and anger and asks the Christ Child for forgiveness and assurance that his beloved is in heavenly peace.

Dear Father Matt, Mario and Santo have been waiting patiently over a year to have a baby. Tests revealed infertility and treatment began in the hope that they would have a child. Many prayers and lots of money and the news arrived that Maria is now expecting. Despite the worry and debt, this couple comes before the manager and prays to the Christ Child in thanksgiving and asks for a healthy baby.

Dear Father Matt, Joe and Pam are exhausted taking care of their darling daughters who continue to struggle with their epilepsy. Bella troubles grow more complicated with a recent MRI that suspects some serious brain abnormalities. More tests will be required and Joe is concerned since he has plans to teach overseas later this month on his Fulbright Scholarship. Pam and the kids are to join him in Prague, but this couple worries about their kids. They come anxious to the crib of the Christ Child and ask for wisdom on what best to do and God know that these two little ones have the best parents in the universe.

As I kneel before the manger, the gift that I ask for each of my friends is wisdom. Wisdom helps you to learn to decipher the unknown, and the unknown is our closet companion. So wisdom is the art of being courageous and generous with the unknown, of being able to decipher and recognize its treasures.

The Christ Child prays for us as we reflect: “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends in this New Year that they will find treasure in their pilgrimage to the manager. May their gift of faith be rewarded with the Christ’s Child’s desire to bring our hearts compassion, mercy and healing. Stay close to God and lets keep in touch.

Breath of Spring

What a day, this mom thought to myself. With two of her young children in the hospital, she was spread thin. She had passed the infant CPR exam required before she could take her eight-week-old Joel home from the hospital. Would she remember how to perform CPR in a moment of crisis?

Exhausted, she reached for her grocery list that resembled more of a scientific equation than the food for the week. For the past several days, she had been learning the facts about juvenile diabetes and trying to accept Jenna, her six-year-old daughter's, diagnosis. In addition to the CPR exam she spent the day reviewing how to test Jenna's blood and give her insulin shots. Now she was buying the needed food to balance the insulin that would sustain Jenna's life.

This mom’s panic turned into a prayer. “God, I am so scared! What if I make a mistake and give Jenna too much insulin, or what if I measure her food wrong, or what if she does the unmentionable--and sneaks a treat? What if Joel's monitor goes off? What if he turns blue and I panic? What if?”

With a shiver, she tried to redirect her mind away from the what ifs. She gave myself an emergency pep talk and recited what she knew to be true, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I can do all things...."

She held a can of apple juice and began to read the label. Jenna will need fifteen carbohydrates of juice when her sugar drops. But this can has thirty-two. Immediately, she felt tears leave her eyes and make their way down the sides of her face. Not knowing what to do, she grabbed a couple six-packs of apple juice and placed them in her cart. Frustrated by feelings of total inadequacy, she crumpled up her grocery list, covered her face in her hands and cried.

"Honey, are you all right?" She heard a gentle voice ask. She had been so engrossed in her own thoughts that she hadn't noticed the woman who was shopping along side of her. Suddenly she felt her hand as she reached toward her and rested it upon her shoulder. "Are you all right? Honey, are you a little short of cash? Why don't you just let me…?"

She slowly dropped her hands from her face and looked into the eyes of the silvery haired woman who waited for her answer. "Oh, no, thank you ma'am." She said while wiping her tears, trying to gather my composure. "I have enough money." "It's just that I'm kind of overwhelmed. I'm here shopping for groceries so that I can bring my children home from the hospital tomorrow."

"Home from the hospital! What a celebration that shall be. Why, you should have a party!"

Within minutes this stranger had befriended her. She took her crumpled up grocery list, smoothed it out, and became her personal shopper. She stayed by her side until each item on her list was checked off. She even walked her to her car helping her as she placed the groceries in her trunk. Then with a hug and a smile, she sent this mom on her way.

It was shortly after midnight, while lugging the groceries into her house, that this mom realized the lesson this woman had taught me. "My kids are coming home from the hospital! Joel is off life support and functioning on a monitor. Jenna and I can learn how to manage her diabetes and give her shots properly. And just as God met my needs in a grocery store, He will meet each and every need we have. "I have a reason to celebrate!" She shouted for joy in her empty house. "Why you should have a party," the woman had exclaimed. And a party there would be!

God prays for us as we reflect: “I love you, O Lord, my strength.” (Psalm 18:1).

Lord. I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are feeling exhausted after the holidays. Let the true celebration begin when we realize that we are NEVER alone but the presence of God watches over our concerns and gives us reason to celebrate.

Mystery of Crumbfest

This is the story of a very great mystery; a mystery which all the mice talked about, but which was never solved until the day Eckhart set off on his great adventure. It was the day he discovered the true meaning of Crumbfest.

For Eckhart and the other mice, every year was divided into two parts: the Outside part, and the Inside part. During the long warm days they lived in a snug burrow beneath a spruce tree in the corner of a field, next to the woods. But when the days became shorter, and the great snows came, they left Outside and moved Inside, between the walls of the big white farmhouse where the people lived. The mice, of course, didn't refer to them as people. They called them "the straight ones" because of the way they walked.

Eckhart didn't like going Inside. None of the mice did. The narrow space between the walls, where they spent the winter, was a cold, dismal place. There was no grass there, or trees, or flowers; and no sunshine.

The Inside was also a hungry place. There was plenty of food in the house, but it was always shut up in the little pantry off the kitchen - in jars, or in tins with tight covers. The only spot the mice could find food was on the kitchen floor, underneath the big wooden table where the people ate. There would usually be a few crumbs there, tiny bits of bread that had tumbled down from above.

But there was one time of the year when all that changed.

Every year, in late December, just a few weeks after the mice had moved Inside, a most astonishing thing happened. Suddenly, there were crumbs everywhere. For several days the mice feasted, not just on bread but also on cake, and cookies, and piecrust.

The mice had a name for this time of abundance. They called it Crumbfest, and over the years it had became the most important celebration in mouse society. "Merry Crumbfest", they would call out to one another as they scurried in and out of their hole in the wall, bringing back load after load of tasty morsels.

The truth is, Eckhart had some doubts about Crumbfest. He started thinking about the reason for this most mysterious event. He decided that he must solve the riddle and go exploring.

He passed beneath the great wooden table. He looked across the room and saw a door leading into a hallway. Beyond that was the unknown, and, perhaps, the secret of Crumbfest. He knew that was where he must go. And that's when he saw it!

Eckhart could scarcely believe his eyes. He looked again, it was a tree. A fir tree. A beautiful tree from the Outside was right there in front of him - on the Inside.

Eckhart ran over quickly and looked up into the branches. There, on the tree, were other things from the Outside. There was a long string of red berries - the kind that grow on the rose bushes along the fence - and some birds. They didn't look exactly like the birds he had seen Outside, but they were definitely birds, sitting very still in the branches.

There was a small table beside the tree and Eckhart ran quickly up one of the legs to get a better view. When he came up over the top there was another great surprise waiting for him. There, gathered together in a circle, were tiny animals from the Outside.

There were two cows, a horse with long ears and several sheep. There were also some tiny people there, and right in the middle a little box, with a baby sleeping in some straw. Eckhart walked over slowly and stood beside one of the sheep, which was exactly the same size as he was. He remained there quietly for a few moments, standing just as still as the other animals.

And that's when it happened!

Eckhart felt something he had never felt before. It started somewhere inside of him, and spread right out to the very tips of all his whiskers, and to the end of his extra-long tail. It wasn’t exactly astonishment, and it wasn't exactly joy. It was wonder - that's what it was. Eckhart felt wonder-full.

It only lasted a short time, but Eckhart knew that in that moment he had discovered the meaning of Crumbfest. It came to him in a flash, and he knew his journey was over.

When he arrived back between the walls, Eckhart told them the story of his journey. He told them about the big room, the tree, the berries and the birds. And when he got to the part about the animals he lowered his head, straightened his tail, and said softly, "The mystery of Crumbfest is the mystery of the Outside and the Inside. When the Outside comes Inside it is a special time, for when the Outside and the Inside are together, Crumbfest happens."

For a moment no one spoke. Most of the mice looked puzzled. But there were a few whose eyes opened very wide, as through they had just heard a secret, which they already knew.

God prays for us as we reflect: “Consider the mice: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than all creatures great and small.” Luke 12:24.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that like Eckhart they experience for themselves the mystery of Crumbfest and the wonder of a place where the Inside and the Outside are together. A Blessed Christmas Season to all my wonder-full Sonshine Friends, Fr. Matt