Yesterday, I was invited by Fr. Nadeem to return to Holy Family in North Java for their annual outdoor picnic and preach a children’s Mass. Drizzle, windy and a cool breeze made sense to change plans and celebrate Mass in church. But there were no children.
The gospel story was about the Good Samaritan and I was going to share the story about a kind stranger who rescued a poor victim of violence by offering him water and comfort. I had brought bandages to pass out to the kids. We use bandages to heal the hurt we get when we bruise or scrap ourselves. Sometimes our hurts come from inside our hearts when people have said or done mean things to us. But with no kids in church, i looked at all our parishioners in the pews that morning and shared that there is another hurt that gives us a lot of pain. It comes in the form of a question that many grandparents have on their minds. “I am worried about my grandchildren. They don’t go to Mass. What can I do?
Yes, your adult children are all just so busy. They work. Their grandchildren play soccer, and spend lots of time on their computers and phones. They are all so busy doing so many things. And they tell me they just don’t have time to go to Mass. We’re worried. We don’t think our daughter and her husband are interested in Catholicism at all. And they are not teaching our grandchildren anything about it.”
As grandparents we feel the pain and ask ourselves, “Is it our fault? Did we do something wrong? We tried really hard, and now they don’t go to Mass at all. And our grandchildren are getting nothing. We’re worried. Our children are grown now and have lost some or all interest in the Church.
Then as grandparents we ask, “What can I do about it?”
You’re asking the right question.” What can I do about it? Is this your question? Are you worried about your grandchildren? Are you concerned their future will not include the Catholic faith, or any faith at all? Does it pain you to see all the obstacles the world places in the path of your grand- child and the Church?
I have good news for you. That pain you are feeling is a gift from God. You can use it for good. It’s a gift. In fact, it’s a vocation. God made you to be a grandparent. If you are a new grandparent, God is giving you a new vocation. If you are a seasoned grandparent, God invites you to get really clear on what your role means and why He gave you this vocation in the first place.
Don’t waste your pain. If you are feeling that pain as you watch your grandchildren growing up separated from the Catholic Church, please know it is sending an important message. If it hurts you to watch our culture growing ever more toxic, please know that pain is good. Yes, it is a good thing that it’s painful. That pain in your soul exists because there is a lot at stake.
What is your pain telling you? First, it is God getting your attention. C. S. Lewis used to say that pain is God’s megaphone to get our attention in the middle of all the noise of our lives. God whispers to us in our pleasures. He shouts to us in our pain.
Second, that pain means you have a choice: to do something or to do nothing. God is nudging you. He is calling you through that uncomfortable pain in your soul. He is inviting you out of the pain and into something deeper and truer. Trust Him.
Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are parents and grandparents and know that God can bring purpose out of the pain we are feeling. God hopes to use that pain to do significant things in our life and in the lives of the people around you. God is nudging you forward. He is calling you into action. You have a role to play.
