Yesterday, many of us paused to celebrate Father’s Day. My father played a major role in my vocation as a priest. Sadly, he died of cancer nine months before my ordination, but I truly have felt his presence daily these past 45 years in my ministry. Growing up, my father was always there. He did not miss a milestone. From teaching me how to play baseball, to showing me how to care for service veterans. He encouraged me and supported me in everything. I am thankful.
Whether as a biological father or a spiritual father, we want to be present for our children as much as we possibly can. That includes making it to their athletic events, recitals and performances, but even more surprising them with a school pick-up every once in a while, playtime at home, vacations together and the father/daughter/son chats where they take us to topics we have never before contemplated.
As a Christian father, we have particular responsibilities. Yes, we are to be present, loving and caring, but the scriptures also direct us very clearly, to “bring [our children) up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). IWe need to take that seriously. That means (along with their mother) we are responsible for making sure they not only are in church but they are growing up to be the best Chrsitian they can be. We are responsible for modeling that for them.
Kids need fathers, whether those fathers are biological, by law or by love. Children want and need to experience the love of fathers. They want and need to see what manhood looks like up close and personal. Reading and hearing about it is one thing. Experiencing it for themselves and seeing it modeled without filters is something different.
We do know, however, that many children do not have the opportunity to be loved and cared for by a Christian father—or any earthly father at all. Sometimes, this happens due to the death of a father. Other times, it happens because men have failed to step up to be the fathers God expects us to be. In such cases, there are so many mothers who do an incredible job of raising their children. Most if not all of us know, or have experienced, single mothers who have raised children to be remarkable men and women. We honor and respect the often-heroic efforts of single mothers who have done so much and sacrificed so much to raise their children. But that does not negate the truth that children want and need the love and care of fathers.
Fathers are not expendable. God’s plan and design is not that fathers would or should come and go—that they could be present or not. Too often, the presence of men acting as fathers to their children is seen as extraordinary rather than expected or common. The absence of so many men as fathers has had and continues to have enormously detrimental impact on families, communities, our nation and the church. Even while recognizing that the challenges of life result in families having different compositions, we must again in our communities normalize men being present and active in their children’s lives as fathers and, in the church, expect and normalize men who are active participants in “bringing their children up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).
As “senior priest,” I want all our young men to be loved, nurtured and supported in a manner that leads to their living as Godly men, many of whom will become fathers. For those who do become fathers, my prayer is that they will model for their children, families, churches and communities what it looks like to love and serve the Lord while loving, nurturing, and praying with and for their children.
Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friend who are fathers. To the men who are blessed to have the title of father or to serve as father figures, a blessed Father’s Day. May the Lord bless you for your sacrifices and compassion that you have shown all your kids and grandkids.
