It was cold, snowy Sunday and only ten people showed up for church. This is a story I wanted you to hear. Two older people started walking slowly, carefully up the aisle. The entire way up the aisle, they never stopped holding each others hands, and as they passed pew upon pew of people, you could see how their eyes were filling with tears.
When they arrived at the foot of the altar, I asked them how many years they had been married – the wife responded “60 years ago today.” I followed up asking “where did you get married?” and the wife proudly responded “Right here,” as she pointed her finger to the floor marking the very spot in front of the altar where they had stood all those decades earlier. I was surprised and said “You’ve been here in this parish for 60 years?” and they simply nodded their heads as the wife said “we’ve been here together every week since we were married.” What was even more moving was that as they began to renew their wedding vows, no one could take their eyes off this couple as they lovingly held each others hands, but could barely look at each other as they tried holding back tears as they said to each other once again “I take you to be my wife… my husband… I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad; in sickness and in health… I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.”
Listening to them, you couldn’t help but wonder what must be going through their minds – what had they lived through? What struggles which must have seemed insurmountable at times had they conquered; what joys and moments of pride, what sleepless nights of worry over their children had they endured? What twists and turns, ups and downs did they encounter? How often did they think “I don’t think I can do this anymore” – but somehow found the unconditional grace of God to strengthen their resolve to try once again?
So often whenever the Church speaks of family life, I think there’s this erroneous impression that it automatically implies that perfection is expected out of every marriage. And that’s why this feast can be a bit off putting for so many people. Just the title, “The Holy Family” seems like a really high bar to measure ourselves up to. Exacerbating the fact that so many people have had painful family circumstances – abusive, dysfunctional, destructive and unhealthy relationships – all of this sadly results in the beautiful institution of marriage being another area where many people, understandably feel disconnected from our faith…
But a more practical understanding for unmarried and married couples is a call not to perfection, but to faith… which is often times the complete opposite of perfection.
Joseph and Mary expressed astonishment, doubts, and fear to their invitations and directions from the Lord. Yet somehow in the midst of all those questions, all those worries, all those challenges – they much like that couple renewing their marital vows after 60 years, held each others hands, trying to maintain faith in each other and in God… so much so that in hindsight, they almost couldn’t believe any of what they were able to endure was ever possible.
No matter what our personal family stories have told us to this point… whether we’re married or we’ve never been married, suffered divorce, or experienced a myriad of challenges that’s a mix of all of the above – the beauty of this glorious Christmas feast reminds us that Jesus willingly enters into all of this human messiness that can be found in every family because of His love for us. In Jesus’ birth, God entered into human history in a unique and profound way – and human history changed forever after that.
That doesn’t make us perfect here and now… but it does inspire us to hold on to a faith in which everything and everyone is transformed in the love of our God who humbles himself to become one of us, so that one day we might become like him for all eternity.
