I asked a wonderful mentor this question: "Give me some hints on how I should prepare to die?"
With a grin on her face, she simply shared that she hopes to be surrounded by her friends at her bedside, when someone will turn, look and say:
“Oops, she’s gone!”
Jeanette, my dear Neumann friend, has learned to cope with her cancer diagnosis for some time now. Her treatments are a routine part of everyday life. She has a deep faith in God and a profound wisdom from living a life that was not pampered as she describes her life for she had her share of scars. Instead of living in fear, not so much fear of the afterlife or even fear that there might not be an afterlife, she spends each moment living her life filled with love and passion for her family and loyal friends.
Her joyful nature shines when with a twinkle in her eye she says: “What do you think makes God laugh?” Her answer: “when people makes plans.” She knows that we rest in the hands of a kind and merciful God. Instead of fretting about the hour of our death, she chooses to live her life as a gift. She spends her days not dying but living and loving the people that God has given to her because she says that one day He will want them back.
It’s a good question that we prefer not to think about. How do we prepare to die? How do we live so that death does not catch us unaware? What do we do so that we don’t leave this world with too much unfinished business?
I shared a story with Jeanette about a young student who was dying of cancer. In the final stages of his illness, he came to see his old professor and said something to this effect.
Professor, you once told us something in class that has made it easier for me to die young. You said: “There are only two potential tragedies in life, and dying young isn’t one of them. These are the two tragedies: If you go through life and don’t love and if you go through life and you don’t tell those whom you love that you love them.”
When the doctors told me that my cancer was terminal, I realized how much I’ve been loved. I’ve been able to tell my family and others how much they mean to me. I’ve expressed love. People ask me: “What’s it like being 24 years old and dying?” I tell them: “It’s not so bad. It beats being 50 years old and having no values!”
Once again, Jeanette in her infinite wisdom after she heard this story shared that its best to have a positive attitude by loving deeply and expressing our love for those people who have made a difference in our life.
She was told by her doctors that she runs the risk of bleeding to death if she falls so she needs to be very careful when she walks around her home. However, unexpectedly she felt some pain, calls her doctor at 3am and he responds in 5 minutes and orders her to urgent care. A few tests later and a kidney stone is discovered. So back in surgery she goes. A little tuck here and a stint there and she’s back at home safe and sound. As she says, “it doesn’t pay to waste your time worrying about falling down when something totally unrelated can occur.” She just feels blessed that she has a compassionate and smart medical team helping to keep her going each day. Her goal is to live well one day at a time. And for another day she is grateful to God for a life filled with beautiful and appreciative friends.
What makes it hard to die is that we have so much life yet to finish and we best finish it by loving more deeply and expressing our love more freely.
When Jeanette corners Our Lord in prayer, I am sure that she might tell Him that the best way to prepare for death is by living your life as a gift. Work at loving more deeply, less discriminately, more affectionately, and more gratefully. Tell those close to you that you love them and death will never catch you like a thief in the night.
Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are dying or worse not yet ready to move on into your promised glory. First, let’s agree that there’s nothing noble about pain, so let’s do all we can to relieve the suffering of those in our care. Let us be confident that God wants us to have peace of mind. Let go of all your fears and anxiety about death for Jesus comes to bring us His salvation because He loves us all passionately.
