Father Tim is complaining about
his spiritual dryness, his feelings of being far from God while at the same
time running himself ragged being about the Lord’s business.
Brother Absalom nods and smiles
and says, “I know what you mean, brother, I know what you mean. You’re too
tired to run and too sacred to rest.”
Elijah, the prophet, was sitting
under a broom tree, “too tired to run and too scared to rest,” too exhausted to
think, and too disgusted with himself to want to go on living. How did Elijah
get here? What brought Elijah to this moment of despair?
His words, “I am no better than
my ancestors,” are a confession of sin and failure, of helplessness and
despair. Elijah is running away from Jezebel who is hunting him down for putting
to shame her pagan religion. He feels and sits alone exhausted, “too tired to
run and too scared to rest,” and much too aware of his own failures and much
too unsure of God’s grace and love. And so, Elijah falls asleep. He has made
his confession, he is ready to die. As far as he knows, when he falls asleep he
is falling into the eternal sleep of death.
But God has a different plan, a
different ending in store for Elijah. Elijah is awakened to the gift of new
life. Elijah is awakened by the touch of a holy hand and the sound of a divine
voice inviting him to “arise and eat.” Get up and get on with your life. Get up
God is not finished with you yet. Get up and get on with it. Get up and quit
taking yourself so seriously. Arise and eat God has more future in store for
you.
God’s response to Elijah’s
confession of helplessness and hopelessness was not judgment and death. God’s
response was forgiveness and life. The message is that the past is over and
forgiven and the future is alive and in God’s hands.
When we come to our moments of
sitting alone under the broom tree, “too tired to run and too scared to rest,”
when we look back on our lives and see only our faults and failures, our
disappointments and unfulfilled ambitions looming up and chasing us like
Jezebel’s army, when we feel like we have done all we can and despite our best
intentions, we find we are no better than our ancestors, we must remember how
God responded to Elijah and how God will respond to us.
Say
this “bread prayer” to give you strength when you feel you are falling apart:
Help me, O God, to live the
recipe of good deeds. Give me the kneading strength of your Spirit to
work your words into the doughy recesses of my life. Help me to let it rest
awhile in my heart so that it can rise. Help me not to fear the oven of life,
so that it can bake through and through. And grant that in the baking, the
world would be able to roll down its window and savor the aroma of freshly
baked bread, your bread of life.
Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who feel
too tired to run
and too scared. The next time they receive Holy Communion, help them to realize
this is your kiss to get up and get on with their life for the
past is forgiven and their future is in your hands.
