A wise father knows what it means to forgive --his young adult child had died in his sleep while camping with the family, but the autopsy revealed drug overdose. This father offered three somewhat earthy bits of practical advice that are worth sharing.
He said, "I'm not very good at spiritual discipline, but after being called by a friend to practice what I preach, I sat alone in my study and made believe I was a priest in the confessional. I said out loud, 'Drug dealer, in the name of God, I forgive you.' I felt kind of foolish at this creative hypocrisy, but it did get the juices of forgiveness going. Oh, a year later when my son’s friends drove past my house I had to go through the whole forgiveness process again. Forgiveness by fallible creatures is repetitious." That's real wisdom. For us weak creatures forgiveness indeed turns out to be a repetitious affair.
The second bit of wisdom he offers is this: "Don't forgive too fast." By that he doesn't mean to harbor lingering revenge. He means that we have to allow time for the hurt to surface, for the hatred to be visible and recognized and acknowledged to the point when perhaps we can say out loud, "I hate you." It is only when the hurt, the enemy, is out there and regurgitated that we can feel its full impact and come to terms with forgiveness. That's what our friend means by saying, "Don't forgive too fast." Otherwise our forgiveness is too shallow. It hasn't grabbed sufficiently hold of the evil.
And finally he gives this delightful advice: "It's good to remember that when you pray for your enemies it doesn't automatically make them your friends. They are still your enemy. They're still out to get you. They still hate your guts." And he adds for emphasis: "They are still your enemies and you'd better guard against them because they might wallop you when you're down on your knees." But that's their problem.
And yet, despite our Lord's example and his command to forgive, there are people who cannot bring themselves to offer forgiveness. And there are people who cannot bring themselves to accept it. Some people get so caught up in their own guilt that they cannot accept forgiveness, even from God. They feel there is no hope for themselves either in this world or the next. They spend their time hugging their guilt to themselves, thereby blocking out the forgiveness of the Christ who is on record for forgiving others.
What does Christ say to those who cannot bring themselves to forgiveness? Those of us who have caused so much hurt in this life. God says,” Come forth, you who are drunk. Come forth, you who abuse. Come forth, you who know no shame.” And we shall all come forth without being ashamed, and we will stand before him. And the wise will say, and the learned will say, “Lord, why do you receive them?' And he will say to them, 'I receive them, oh wise ones, I receive them, oh learned ones, because not one of them ever thought himself worthy of it.' And he will stretch out his arms to us, and we shall fall down before him, and we shall weep, and we shall understand all."
Immanuel prays for us as we reflect; “I love the Lord, for he heard my voice, he heard my cry for mercy.” (Psalm 116:1-3)
Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who desperately need your mercy. May we be willing to surrender our need for resentment and bring peace to those who have hurt us.
