Thumbs Up

A Sonshine Friend had come to see me before Easter to share her sorrow over the recent death of her dad. Her father had suffered from mental illness all his life. After the death of her mother, his depression grew worse. He had often talked about suicide, but one morning she received a phone call from the police and her worse fears were realized. He had shot himself and left a note that police reported they had never seen such a well-organized suicide in their life.

She had prayed to God to help her dad during these years and now she feared about his soul. She knew the rules and wondered if God would ever forgive her father for taking his life.

I shared a story about my experience as a hospital chaplain when I was asked to find out the progress of a patient. Due to privacy laws, the medical staff has to maintain the privacy of information for each patient under their care. I understand and uphold this same integrity in the seal of confession, but at the time I was simply trying to learn if the patient was making progress. The nurse on call simple response was a “thumbs up.” I was grateful for her kindness that the patient was getting better and on their way home.

Our young daughter was suffering the death of her father and worse feared that he might be lost forever. Once again, I needed to remind her that the Resurrection is not about why there is suffering but that Jesus comes to redeem us from our fears, the worse fear is about death. So when I was asked what did I think happened to her dad. I simply gave her the “thumbs up” and she started to cry. She realized that the God she has always prayed to would be compassionate and take her father home to heaven.

Heaven knows we need more “thumbs up” gestures in a church that often times get blamed for damning too many people as not acceptable in the community. The end result is that there are many souls waiting to be admitted into the community of saints, but never felt welcomed by their churches. God save us from our arrogance and need for power.

Jesus invites us into the empty tomb to experience his light of life. That’s the Easter message, a “thumbs up” loving gesture that Jesus came to save us from our fears of sins, unworthiness or that we are not acceptable. In my community, all are welcomed and in God’s eyes he looks forward to the day when we will humbly walk with Our Lord into His wonderful garden of Paradise.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: "Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” (Luke 22:43).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends during the Easter Season who need the reassurance that they are making progress in their spiritual journey. However despair or rejection take root, be reassured that the divine gardener comes along to offer you a “thumbs up” that all will be saved by the grace and power of His love. Alleluia!

Jelly Bean Prayer

Once upon a time, on Good Friday morning, I found a small zip-lock bag with eight jellybeans of assorted colors in my mailbox. The “Jelly Bean Prayer” was locked inside a plastic bag. There being no postage attached to the bag, a neighbor had left this Easter gift with the hope that each mouthful would be accompanied by a reflection of God’s goodness. I confess some disappointment that could my neighbor not reflect on God’s goodness with a solid chocolate Easter bunny from Andy’s Candies?

That jellybean bag was left unopened on my office desk. As I prepared to celebrate the Good Friday service, my eyes kept going back to that locked bag of colorful reminders of God’s goodness. The bag remained zipped tight; it was a strict day of fast.

On Holy Saturday, the beanbag was still sitting on my desk. Eight colorful reminders of God’s goodness zipped tight in plastic. While the morning sun poured through the window, outside sparrows were chirping anticipating the joy of the Resurrection feast, their songs as colorful as these jellybeans.

Throughout the day I was preparing for the Holy Saturday service and my Easter Sunday homily. I needed words to inspire and uplift, words to bring people out of the dark and into the light. Mostly, I thought about the many people I have counseled throughout the years and their pain and suffering. My mind was blank and my heart empty and my eyes kept focusing on that bag of jellybeans.

Then God struck with a revelation; I was no longer in darkness and needed inspiration and uplifting! That bag of candy was transformed, no longer jellybeans but it represented all the good things God has given me and my Sonshine Friends and yet to come. And here God’s gift sits on my desk, sealed, zipped tight, locked away from my experience. I could hear Him ask me, “What the matter with you Matt, do you not see?”

I looked out the open window, drawn by bird songs and sight of turkey and deer. Why would I choose to stay inside when the signs of Resurrection are outside? Why do I keep the reminders of God’s goodness so tightly shut away inside my life? I’ve been so often content with knowing that birds are singing in the glorious outside while I shut myself inside. I’ve been content with knowing that God’s good things are within my grasp –yet I leave them just beyond my reach—never actually experiencing them. It’s sometimes easier to remain in the cold, dark tomb then to come out into the sun, sensing this new life!

The very first thing I’m going to do on Easter Sunday is to pop one of those jellybeans into my mouth maybe yellow (for His sun is so bright) or pink (for a new tomorrow). And after I savor the first one, I’m going to meditate on the others as they follow the route of the first one. Then I’m going to pray for more jellybeans. To be open to the signs of God’s goodness everyday in my life.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: "For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life.” Psalm (56:13).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends on Easter Day that they rejoice in your goodness. As we munch on our jellybeans, white for His grace, pink for a new tomorrow. may we know it WILL happen because it already DID happen. Alleluia!

The Joy of Spring

On Saturday, I took my first walk into the woods in search of Spring. It was muddy and the leaves from last Fall make the trek slick. I wandered into an area with a stream, but the harsh light of the morning sun washed out any interesting detail. I was looking for a bouquet of colors, but my journey would take me to something much more sublime.

The professional photographer is looking for some punch and color that sets his image apart. However, the landscape was still drab and dreary from a long, harsh winter until you looked in another direction. Indeed, if you looked down through the woods, you could see pockets of green breaking up through the ground.

The leaves of unknown flowers were just beginning to peek out of the earth. I’m not versed in native plants, yet another book to read, but I fell to my knees and started to notice that the earth was brimming with new life. The mosses and fungi were clinging to the logs and though not spectacular, they made interesting patterns and designs that I will upload during the week for your meditation.

No crocus or hyacinths in a forest, but there were plenty of signs of trout lily, jack in the pulpit and native grasses. Plants have their own identities and souls, along with divine purpose and goals; however, their goals are much simpler than ours?

I believe their goal in this new incarnation is to feel the Joy of Spring! To you this may seem frivolous, but to the native plants, it is everything. It is all they know, all they yearn for, and all that they live for. The life of any plant is nothing if not for Spring.

It all began with a seed, and this seed was watered and nurtured by the sun and the earth, so that the plants may come and experience the Joy of Spring. This is all they want, this is all they will be, and this is simply perfect and divine, at least for each plant. But with Spring comes the power for new growth to sprout through the earth and soar into the heavens. Is this not our essence, to rise from the earth and join our Creator in the Garden of Paradise.

The Joy of Spring means drinking up the morning dew, quenching our thirst and feeling the breath of life move through our being. Then as the seasons progress, we spread our essence of selfless love, making it possible for our descendants to experience the Joy of Spring.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: "Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the peepers (frogs) can be heard in the fields.” (Song of Solomon 2:12).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who have broken through the crushed barriers of selfishness and rise above the need for power. May we share our essence that brings much joy and new life.

Whose Fault Is It?

I am learning how to use new software to tweak my images. More truthfully, I failed to shoot correctly and I now have the tools to correct my mistakes. Case in point, I have a close-up of a ladybug crawling up a lilac flower. It was an instantaneous moment when from the corner of my eye I saw this red speckled creature moving on the leaf. Was the wind blowing, did my camera shake—most likely all of the above. With a few clicks of the mouse my new software can correct the blur but not perfectly.

A couple sits down in the doctor’s office, waiting for the report. They have been trying for two years to get pregnant, with no success; now, they want to know why. Last week they came in for the battery of tests that will begin to give them some answers, but as the doctor sees the tension in their faces, how they are unable to look at one another or hold hands, the doctor knows how the couple is framing their questions:

• Is she the one—is it her inability to conceive?
• Is he the one—is his sperm count too low?
• Is it her organs that are malfunctioning?
• Is it his stress that is interfering?

The doctor opens the folder and takes a deep breath. The question hangs heavy in the air: Whose fault is it, that we cannot have a baby?

Maybe it’s human instinct, to find fault. My poor camera technique, the wind was blowing, the ladybug moved. Maybe it’s a coping mechanism. If we know whose fault it is, at least we have a way to understand what has happened. At least we have a way to explain our part in it. Even better, we may find a way to excuse our part in it—which is to say, to put the responsibility squarely on another’s shoulders. If our only job is to find out whose fault it is, we can be assured of some retributive satisfaction: someone will pay for what goes wrong.

Do you see this, where you are? When the basement floods, when you had a car accident, when the Sonshine reflection falls flat, why are we so quick to ask, "How could this have happened?" And when we determine whose fault it was, why does the fault-finding so quickly turn to blame?

Remember the gospel story about the man poor blind? The disciples asked Jesus whose to blame. They’re just curious. They really want to know: Who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind? It’s a fair question for disciples to ask of their teacher, given the theological equations of the day (blindness = sickness = sin = human fault).

It’s a fair question for Jesus’ disciples to ask, given the fact that Jesus keeps turning the theological tables. I think the disciples really are open to the possibility that there might be a new and different answer, here. They really want Jesus to teach them. So who sinned, Jesus?—this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?

Jesus’ answer stumps everyone, and it stumps me. No one sinned. He was born blind so that God’s works might be revealed in him. No blame. No fault. Just an opportunity for God to be seen and known.

Immanuel watches over us as we reflect: "Who is like the wise? Who know the explanation of things? A person’s wisdom brightens their face and changes its hard appearance.” (Ecclesiastes 8:1).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are looking for answers to put the blame on someone for our misfortunes when we might better ask ourselves what is God doing? Jesus changes the subject and wants us to ask ourselves-how can I help? It’s no one’s fault. Let God be God. Let we who are blind be healed.