Soften My Heart

Which friend do you call when you are going through a crisis moment? Someone you trust who knows your pain by experience and shares their wisdom and peace.

Once a daughter struggled with a terrible conflict with her mother. Her mother had been dead for several years. This daughter prayed for her heart to soften. She prayed that she be able to forgive her mom and love her for what she did give her: life, values, a lot of piano lessons, and the best she could do. Unfortunately, the best she could do was terrible…and her heart remained hardened toward her mom for many years.

For the first two years after her death, her mother’s ashes sat in her closet. This young woman moved them one day at last to a corner of the living room--a small thing? No, A huge thing. Jesus understands that things like forgiving your mother take a long time. If not your parent, then perhaps your former spouse, your boss, your child, or even God after your best friends have died in a plane crash.

I don’t think Jesus was rolling his eyes impatiently at this daughter while she had her mother’s ashes in the closet. I don’t think much surprises Jesus. This is how we make important changes—barely, poorly, and slowly. And still, he raises his hands in triumph. We need such lived wisdom from those wounded by life’s experience. And from those who have known pain.

There was once an ancient temple bell famous for its beautiful tone. It had been commissioned by the king as a way of showing his people’s devotion to Buddha; for the king’s advisors believed that making a temple bell would keep the nation safe from foreign invasion. So the king approached the greatest bell maker in the realm. This craftsman worked hard and produced many bells, but none that was extraordinary, none that had a special tone.

Finally, he went to the king and told him that the only way to get the kind of bell he wanted was to sacrifice a young child. So the soldiers fetch a young girl. When the child was taken away, her mother cried out piteously, Emille.

At last the bell maker succeeded, the bell, called the Emille Bell, made a sound more beautiful than any other. When it rang. Most people praised the art that had produced such a beautiful sound. But whenever the mother whose child had been sacrificed heard it, her heart broke anew. She could only hear the beautiful tone with pain.

You see, only those who understand the sacrifice can feel the pain. Others just enjoy the sound.

God prays for us as we reflect: “May he remember all your sacrifices…” (Psalm 20:3).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that in times of trouble they find friends who have lived the pain and hold the wisdom to help them find patience and perseverance in their suffering.
May we pray for guidance from the spirit who “softens our hearts” and finds peace during this Lenten Season.

By Our Side

As the president of a local company informed his co-workers that four of their colleagues had died in an airline crash in Buffalo, I could feel my stomach churn inside. My legs were quivering for once again I was standing by the side of a group of people stunned with profound grief. As there leader expressed, no words seemed adequate to convey their sorrow. Memories returned to holding the hands of patients at Strong or offering prayers in the JFK terminal after 9/11. I was being escorted by a spirit-filled co-worker from one cubicle to another to listen and offer healing and hope.

Many beautiful stories were being filtered by co-workers that revealed something special about their lost comrades. Stories about their brilliance in the field, their mentoring skills, their families and grandchildren left behind. As I toured the offices, I observed the deceased office desks piled high with work yet sprinkled with images of babies, pets, art work from the kids and images of special moments that celebrated a wedding day or special vacation.

Let me remind you that Jesus walks with us in our our brokenness, in those situations in life when we simply fall down on our knees and weep. We are not alone, for we have one willing to kneel by our side, and be by our side.

Remember the gospel story about a leper who came to Jesus, and said "If you will, you can make me clean " Notice the words of this man, "If you will." He was taking a risk and putting his whole life into the hands of Jesus. He had heard that he was a man of compassion and a man of power. In times of intense sorrow we need to take on this man’s heart when he says to himself. “I wonder if he can make me well? No, I don't wonder, I believe, I know deep within me that he can. I will go and ask that whatever he wills for my life, then so be it. I will approach Jesus and ask that his will be done in my life."

And we know the rest of the story, Jesus moved with piety stretched out his hand and touched him and said: " I will; be clean." Jesus acted because he knew how lonely, how miserable, how forsaken this person was. Jesus acted because no one else would. Jesus acted because the rest of society ignored this individual, Jesus acted because sadly this man's own religion couldn't be bothered.

In moments of intense sorrow that defy any explanation that leave us speechless, the leper choose to simply let go and let God take on his pain and sorrow. I wonder how many of us could say to Jesus, take my life and whatever you will for it, so be it? Isn't that what Christianity is all about? Surrendering ourselves to God, then letting his will of love be done in our lives.

I chose this image of the bleeding hearts reaching into the darkness to reflect the love of a compassionate God. I was privileged to witness that love as co-workers hugged and shared their stories about their friends. I believe that each of us are little Christ's, we are his hands of compassion, his hands of healing; his hands of love in a world crying for someone to care. Any time we see people hurting, we see people living with burdens, we see people afflicted with disease, we are compelled as Jesus was to reach out a hand to try with all of our strength to bring some measure of peace and comfort into that person's live.

God prays for us as we reflect: “Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth. (Psalm 31:5).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are on their knees due to sadness or rejection from those who fail to understand. Help us to walk with these “little ones” with your hands of acceptance and understanding. May our spirit of healing and compassion reach out to all in need, especially our neighbors in Buffalo at this time.

Healing Spaces

Many of the Mercy sisters attend the Motherhouse Eucharist accompanied by their walker or wheelchair. One exception was Sister Faith who radiated a sense of youth with her gracious smile and vibrant walk without the use of any aid. However, all that changed in an instant when she tripped on a carpet and fell head first into a wall. Eleven stitches later and a twisted knee, Sister Faith was sitting in her room; lamenting that she did not want to be a bother to her sisters and asked for prayers that she would not need any surgery on her right knee.

She was humbled by all the phone calls and get-well cards from her fans throughout the country who heard about her “trip.” But her real journey was not her experience in the emergency room, but rather, a journey into her soul which she had never experience in her life.

Like most patients she prayed for a cure, relief from the pain and the desire to get back to where she was before the freak accident. Instead, she sat in her chair with her elevated leg in a soft cast and her companions were the medicine bottles, blankets, bed, water glass and the holy cards with prayers in times of illness.

Cures aim at returning our bodies to what they were in the past, healing uses what is present to move us more deeply to "soul awareness." Although Sister Faith prayers for a cure and complete recovery, she admits that she has undergone a profound healing of mind and heart. This healing that refers to the soul can happen without cure. In fact, it is often the uncured sickness that the healing begins.

When we come face to face with our disease--cancer, broken heart, layoff panic, chronic addiction, debilitating grief, our focus is redirected to the inner healing process that is triggered by our illness. At that moment, we become profoundly aware to the meaning of life, what we need to let go of and what we need to keep.

Sitting meditatively in her chair beside her bed, Sister Faith senses the witness of her bed, the family photos on her dresser, the blankets, even the snow covered trees outside his window, finally observing the truth, that some secrets are hidden from health.

Sister Faith is right. Some patients report a greater sense of being alive and in communion with others when they were sick. When they were cured, they returned to normal life, a life often characterized by routine. Cure of the body actually threatens healing of the soul. After a period of distress we realize that something amazing happens. We simply stop doing everything that wasn’t essential, that didn’t matter. Our illness of whatever nature becomes our greatest source of peace.

Jesus cured some, not all. He was more interested in healing; healing the soul, Sometimes, gospel wisdom tells us that an uncured body brings about a healed soul.

God prays for us as we reflect: “O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.” (Psalm 30:2).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who need the assistance of their walkers, canes and wheelchairs. As they look around their room and pray for a cure, help them to focus on healing the soul that comes with weakness that helps us to feel the need for God. Sometimes we think that we get nothing we asked for but despite ourselves, our unspoken prayers are answered for we are truly blessed by a God who cares.

Melting Snow

At an engagement party, the guests were comparing which city in Upstate New York had the most snow for the winter. Buffalo has a slight lead with 85.9 compared to Rochester’s 85.3 inches. However, Syracuse has been hammered with 123 inches. Despite our whining, and after the Superbowl frenzy, I thought I share this wonderful story about melting snow.

Ice clung to the branches of the trees as Kay and Michael sat together in the park in the center of town. They would have been considered oddities, sitting on a frozen park bench in the dead of winter, had the town not simply become used to the seeing them each evening around six, quietly holding hands in the town square.

No one questioned their behavior, or snickered, or sneered sarcastically at the sight of the oddity. Eccentricities were simply accepted in the small town in Northern Michigan. People lived in each others' pockets, as they say.

Kay and Michael, bundled up with winter coats, sitting in front of an icy statue of the town's founder, were dreaming. Michael knowingly gave Kay's hand a squeeze. He loved her. She squeezed back. The snow slowly fell before them.

Kay was remembering. So was Michael. Now in their early-sixties, they recalled their life together. With a knowing squeeze of the other's hand, both of them traveled back to another time, when love was on the ocean breeze. It was in the ocean air that they breathed every morning while they were on their honeymoon.

Michael took a deep breath through his nose, smelling the ocean air. He closed his eyes and smiled, thinking back to forty years prior. The sound of the water and the scent of the beach filled their tiny bungalow in Hawaii. He could feel her breathe.

He closed his arm around her down jacket. Michael looked at Kay. And she knew.

Hawaii was with them. The cliffs and palm trees. The beaches. The breath-taking beauty. Deep jungle, green vegetation and clear waterfalls. The warm morning rain that sometimes came in the afternoon. Walking in the deep night on the beach.

His glove touched her face.

She smiled.

With a gentle squeeze and another thought of hot sands and warm ocean water, they felt the wet snow melting on their faces.

God prays for us as we reflect: “My mouth will speak words of wisdom; the utterance from my heart will give understanding. (Psalm 49:3)

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who suffer depression from the cold and lack of sunlight. Let them imagine being lifted out of the cold and taken away from the ice to a time when they could feel a gentle breeze and breath in the beauty of green vegetation and clear waterfalls. It has indeed been a harsh winter. We had been humbled by mother nature, unable to rush about in our usual way, confined to our homes, literally speechless from the power of the weather. In the silence we learn the valuable lessons of humility, patience and the overwhelming presence of God. It is God’s way of telling us to be quiet and listen. God loves you and wants you to listen because God wants the best for your lives.