Thirsting for Love

A young college student referred by his concerned professor came to my office to tell me that he felt “numb.” It was discovered that his father had been using the Internet to view child pornography. He had been caught in an FBI sting and the newspapers were reporting the details of years of Internet abuse. This was his father, the man he admired and depended upon. His pain and fear were all over his face. He remembered that he went with his mother and brother to visit his dad in the county jail and all he could do was go up to his dad and tell him that “he loved him.” His mind was cloudy and his emotions swirling with shame and forgiveness, hope and terror. His worse fear was that his dad was being transported to a federal facility. Now he worried himself sick thinking about what the other prisoners might do to his father once they discovered his crime.

Last night, I shared the fears of this young man with our college students and read this verse: “As he sat at dinner in the house, many tax collectors and sinners came and were sitting with Jesus and his disciples.”
(Matthew 9:10)

I love imagining this scene. Can you not see it in your mind? Try. Jesus saw Matthew collecting taxes for the Roman occupiers. Matthew was a despicable man by any terms, disdained by the Romans and hated by the Jews. He was a schemer, a quisling cheat. Yet Jesus called him. Talk about scandal in the Church—than more scandal. Matthew, with his ill-gotten money, throws a dinner party. That was bad enough, but there was a final scandal; the guests turn out to be as bad as Matthew himself, tax collectors and sinners, and they ate with Jesus. Can you image what that room looked like with a guest list like that, a bunch of cutthroats and low lives eating with Jesus?

In our communities there are barriers between races, classes or other status groups, the separation is maintained by means of a taboo on social mixing. You do not share a meal or a dinner party; you do not celebrate or participate in entertainment with people who belong to another social group or worse accused of some hideous sinful behavior.

And yet here was Jesus, saying that for him barriers between people do not exist. In fact, he had a habit of disregarding barriers as he touched an untouchable leper, healed a gentile’s servant, cured a foreign woman’s daughter, and mischievously told the story of the socially bad Samaritan who was morally good, or I can imagine visit this young’s man dad in prison.

Anyway, looking around at the crowd eating with Jesus leaves no doubt about the message. There are no barriers with Jesus. No one is excluded from the love of God, “no matter how bad they are or have been.” All the Matthews down through the ages are welcomed to the banquet if they but get up immediately and follow him even at the last minute.

Many people and Catholics worry about this verse in great seriousness, “To judge the living and the dead.” Deep in our hearts we simply want to hear, I don’t want justice, I want love.” The message from this gospel is that: “There is only love.

God prays for us as we reflect: “Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy.” (Psalm 28:6).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who missed another Penance Service or feel uncomfortable with confession. They are numb by the feeling that they are unwanted or worse that there sins are unforgivable. Jesus come to these tortured souls and sits down by our side and heal us. Mother Teresa said of the lepers she treated, “We have drugs for people with diseases like leprosy, but these drugs do not treat the main problem, the disease of being unwanted.” And there stands Jesus who wants our disease and all and us.

It's Gonna Work Out

There are many different kinds of fear. There is the fear you feel when you tap on the brakes and the car starts to spin. There is the fear that comes when we hear that our company is downsizing, and we may be out of a job.

There is the fear that comes when we haven’t heard the diagnosis yet, but we’re pretty sure it’s bad. There is the fear of failure: failure in school, failure in our job, and failure at life itself.

Think about all the different kinds of fear there are, some that I listed, but even more that I left out. Isn’t it true that most of these fears come when we suddenly realize we’re not in control?

Once upon a time, a humble king took his three buddies up a mountain to show them something special. Of course, these tough guys were true to form—they bragged and postured and acted nonchalant so others would think they were in control. This is what Peter was doing. However, he was in a scary situation—an ordinary fisherman seeing a blinding vision, a practical man having an experience he can’t explain. So Peter’s scared, and he starts to babble. This time he gets bawled out, and it’s by a voice from a cloud. Now he’s not just scared, he’s terrified! His legs can’t hold him up. He falls on the ground, and so do James and John.

At this moment, I like to think that Jesus touches each of them. I sort of imagine him reaching out and ruffling their hair. The kind of touch that says, “We’re all in this together, I value you, I care for you, and it’s gonna work out.” And he says, “Stand up and do not be afraid”!

Something within them changes. I think it’s the touch of Jesus. Maybe not a physical touch, but some kind of internal touch, some kind of spiritual touch. They learn not to be afraid.

Not that the uncertainty of life goes away. It doesn’t. Not that they suddenly gain control. They don’t. Not that they are suddenly masters of their own fate. They clearly are not. But somehow it doesn’t matter. Bad things continue to happen to good people. But somehow it doesn’t matter.

The beginning of fear is when we realize, I’ve lost control. The beginning of faith is when we realize, it doesn’t matter. I don’t really need to be in control. All I really need is the awareness that God is in control.

God prays for us as we reflect: “In God I trust; I will not be afraid.” Psalm 56:11.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that we could each be transformed from our need for control. Wouldn’t it be great to learn to overcome our fears? Wouldn’t it be great to be able to say, “Bad things will still happen, but they don’t matter. I don’t have to be in control, if I can trust God to be in control”?

Going Through A Storm?

Last evening, a Sonshine friend was overcome with joy as she attended a magnificent concert of classical Latin music. Sitting close to the stage, she admired the artist as she played the guitar with flawless and effortless ease. This guest loves music but rarely gets a chance to attend any concerts since her chronic disease has limited her mobility over 20 years ago. She has had her share of storms. A gifted teacher who loves to plays the piano and flute, her multiple sclerosis became the storm of her life. Yet, don’t we all go through storms?

Some of you might be in some terrible ones right now. It is safe to say that if you are not in one now, you will be. Why? Because that is just the nature of humanity.

I would agree, that it seems like some people's storms are not as severe as others. However, from our perspective this “storm” comes at the worse possible time or might be something we never expected or prepared for in life.

Once there was a King who had wires stretched between the towers of his castle. The reason was he was in hopes of developing harp-like music when the wind blew. He was soon really disappointed. The breeze came but the music did not. He exclaimed, "It just doesn't work." However, one day, before the wires were removed, there developed a big storm like yesterday’s 50 mile per hour winds in Rochester. The wind whipped the wires furiously. Then, suddenly, a magnificent melody was heard. It was just harp-like music.

I suggest you meditate on this profound “lightning rod thought.” I believe that without any storms, without any challenges, without any trials, without any tests, our lives would produce very little recognized music. I can think of many pastoral experiences. Last week, I was called to provide a debriefing for a group of young engineers whose 33-year-old colleague died in a car accident leaving a spouse with a ten week old unborn child and three year daughter.

When the winds of any difficulty draw you taunt and you think you are at your breaking point and you weep before God, “I just can't take much more”-music will result.

God prays for us as we mediate: “Lord, hush (my) storm to a whisper; may the waves of the sea (my problems) be stilled.” Psalm 107:29

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that the difficulty they may have at this time in their life, be used to draw them taunt so that a beautiful melody will be produced. Tune our life's instruments, Lord and may this “little one” start hearing that music in their soul at this time

Heart to Heart

Are your pants getting a “little too tight?” This might be the first sign that you need to make a change. Discomfort in one’s tummy might lead to more serious discomfort in the heart. Some folks require a surgical procedure to open their arteries to allow more blood to flow to the heart. The reason for this blockage is cholesterol. Anything blocking your love for God? This might be a good time to have a heart-to-heart talk with ourselves and ask what changes are in order to make our hearts grow stronger with the spirit of God’s love.

Many people find success with “Weight Watchers” when they are motivated to makes changes that will help them “loosen their belts.” One heart patient shared that in the 10-week program her goal was to lose enough weight in the first four weeks to get down to what was called her “healthy weight.” She made the commitment to attend the weekly meetings and learn all the tools about what to eat and portion sizes in order to reach her desired goal. After she reached her “healthy weight” she would continue to come to the weekly meetings for more support. Her next goal was to maintain her “healthy weight.” If she continued to stay on track and eat right she would reach what was called her “life time weight” and then all her sessions would be free. However if she gained more than 3 pounds, she would have to start paying $10 for every session she went over her “healthy weight.”

What program would God recommend for you to have a "healthy heart? The psalmist tells us to pray these words: "A clean heart create for me, O God". And in the gospel, Jesus tells his disciples to be on guard lest they perform acts of penitence only to gain the approval of others. He is telling them, and us, that what is important lies within.

So what does Christ want from us as we begin another Lenten Season. Simply put: our hearts. He needs a heart that recognizes what things in our life are unhealthy and a willingness to change. This change of heart is what is meant by the word repentance. Repentance means more than just being sorry for past sins. It is a willingness to change our behavior in order to avoid sin in the future. In essence, what we need is an incarnation. We have to let Christ assume human form in us, just as he assumed human flesh in his own Incarnation. And if we let Christ into our hearts, we might be amazed at the transformation that will occur in our lives.

God prays for us as we reflect: “Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.” (Psalm 31:24).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends whose hearts are troubled with fears of all sorts that clog our arteries with stress and lead to disease and broken hearts. May our need to change-our desire for repentance-lead us to a change of heart that focuses on Christ as he lives in others. And this change of heart should lead us to live lives which are compassionate, non-judgmental, forgiving and giving, lives which are lived in imitation of Christ, lives which have found true peace and happiness. As I put ashes on peoples’ foreheads tomorrow, I will simply say: “Change your heart and imitate the love of Christ.”