Leading Me On

“I took my ring off my finger and told her I would NEVER put it back on again.” This angry husband felt a premonition months ago, that something was wrong with his marriage. He looked straight into his partner’s eyes on Sunday morning and shared his suspicions when she began to tear up and then he discovered the truth.

He experienced the normal trauma reactions: disbelief, shock, sadness, anger, and confusion. Somehow, he knew deep inside that he had been preparing for this awful moment. For years, he ignored his wife’s invitation to come with the family to church. The usual stubborn excuses prevailed such as: business, fatigue, and other important secular matters. However, “something began to gnaw” inside his gut. Something was leading him on to come back to the Lord. A maelstrom was brewing inside his home and he better find safety in the house of God.

He attended a Men’s Group at his church and an elder gave a witness talk from this scripture: “There is an appointed time for everything; and a time for every affair under the heavens. …a time to die… a time to mourn…and a time to heal…” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4). Our poor soul felt that his marriage was dead. Surely, the old marriage was in tatters, but the grace of God works miracles and can help any couple be reborn from the ashes of despair and resentment. At the moment, he was drowning in his anger and “how dare she” betray the vows of the altar.” His rage only made him feel more helpless and vulnerable which evolved further into silly, self-righteous platitudes.

God’s healing salve entered this man’s heart when I reminded him of the story of the Magdalene. How did she feel when she looked into the eyes of our Lord? Looking into Jesus’ eyes, she felt no shame but only mercy. She found only peace and forgiveness which empowered her soul through God’s saving grace.

I gave this tortured soul an assignment or more like a prescription. I simple asked him that the next time he looked into the eyes of his tearful beloved, what would she see? The Lord’s merciful eyes or the vengeful glare of her accuser. There was only silence as he left the office. I believe God is leading them on to brave the storm and rise above the ashes of shame and despair.

The Lord prays for us as we reflect: “Have mercy on me, God, in your goodness; in your abundant compassion blot out my offense.” (Psalm 51:3). The New American Bible

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who know when they have been betrayed and lose trust in their beloved. In our emptiness and rage, save us from our desire for pity and revenge. Pour your healing salve that helps us to forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

Stuck in the Mud

Did you ever have one of those days in which you feel “stuck in the mud.” Jeremiah had a moment in which he was thrown into the cistern and feared for his life as he sank into a pool of mud.

There are times when our faith gets us in trouble with family and friends. We have mud on our faces because we believe its better to “love our enemies” or “turn the other cheek” or “make peace and not war.” Our Lord had his own troubles with his in-laws and friends who abandoned him in the end and left him to be stuck on a cross. His radical message set him sat at odds with the religious leaders and popular culture of his day.

When we allow a car to cut in front of us on the highway, instead of a curse we might pray for them when they are in such a hurry. When people throw mud in our faces because of our values on life for the unborn or peace in the world, we might pray for the safety of our soldiers and the children.

Being stuck in the mud might be the result of a bad psychological fall or relapse into an old addiction that has come back to life to haunt us. At times like these we need to surrender our need to control the situation and pray to God to help us again get out of the mud of misery and self-pity and start the road back to recovery. God wants us to be successful but the road is filled with lots of potholes and mud along the way.

The Lord prays for us as we reflect: “I waited, waited for the Lord;, who bent down and heard my cry. He drew me out of the pit of destruction, out of the mud of the swamp, Set my feet upon rock, steadied my steps.” (Psalm 40:2-3).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are stuck in their old patterns that make us unhealthy and mean. We put ourselves at risk for more pain and suffering. Give us the courage and grace to surrender the need for control and help us out of our cesspool of pride and resentment.

We Are All Worth the Search

We are all worth the search. We are all worth finding. The God we pray to wants us to know that no matter how far we have roamed, no matter how bad we have been, no matter what we have done, if we repent and promise to change our lives, then we will be found, we will be forgiven.

But guess what? Being found doesn't just happen. Sometimes Christ needs to work through us to bring others back to his flock.

In my ministry as a hospital chaplain, I remember a nurse sharing a story about a patient who had been admitted with a heart attack, and he had seemed restless and anxious all evening. After checking his chart, she asked how he was feeling. With tears in his eyes, he asked her if she would call his daughter and tell her of his heart attack. She was the only family he had left, and he seemed very anxious that she know of his condition. The nurse promised to call right away.

When the nurse reached the patient’s daughter with news of her father's heart attack, she was startled by the woman's reaction. The woman screamed, "No!" She blurted out that she and her father hadn't communicated in years. He had abandoned the family when she was a child and raised by her mother. All this time, she had struggled with forgiveness.

The nurse began to pray. If only God would allow this estranged father and his daughter to reconcile! She felt an urgent need to return to his room and found him unconscious, suffering from another heart attack. She performed CPR on his lifeless form, she sent up a desperate prayer to God that he wouldn't die before he found peace with his daughter. But no amount of medical attention would re-start his heart. He was dead.

In the hallway of the hospital, the nurse saw a young woman with shock and grief on her face. It was the daughter. The nurse tried to comfort her. "I never hated him, you know. I loved him," the young woman said. The daughter wanted to see her father. As the daughter leaned over the body of her dead father and cried, the nurse glanced around the room. She picked up a piece of paper and glanced at the name on top, and handed it to the daughter. The young woman read it aloud: "My dearest, I pray you will forgive me. I know that you love me. I love you too. Daddy." Where grief and shock had contorted the daughter’s features and filled her eyes, now there was only peace. The nurse slipped out of the room and headed to a telephone, to call her own father.

We need to ask ourselves "who needs forgiveness in our own lives"? How much anger may be consuming our lives, the very same anger which once consumed the life of the daughter? We need to use this time to forgive our friends, our family, our neighbors, and maybe even ourselves. Christ needs us to find the lost and bring them back. Only then will there be great rejoicing in heaven.

The Lord prays for us as we reflect: “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that we may never doubt Your love nor take for granted the mercy You have shown to us. Fill us with your transforming love that we may be merciful as you are merciful.

Driving Into the Storm

I have just returned from another 9/11 incident providing critical incident services to over 500 employees who witnessed the death of a co-worker.

On 9/11 while buildings fell, lives were lost, I remember praying with passengers in the terminal at JFK because for some God was found.

There is no doubt that this date will stand forever in the corridors of time, but as I ministered to hundreds of workers who were shocked to learn that their colleague had died, the spirit of compassion was quietly working her way into the hearts of those employees to reach out to save others who were going through 9/11 experiences.

I believe we must continue to let the Holy Spirit minister to us in the areas of our fog and the darkness of our unbelief. While employees were in shock and disbelief, I heard many stories of suffering. The nephew gunned down on a city street only two weeks ago. An employee’s brother shot and killed over the weekend. A manager grief for his 16-year son who had died of cancer. A young man slumped at his desk at 11 o’clock at night who had just returned from the hospital where his father was on life support.

Then there was the woman diagnosed with cancer in May but she was in remission. Now, she wanted to help others and tell her story of survival and help others face their fear and despair with her courage and hope. The EMT who ran to the side of that employee had just graduated from her safety course was receiving emails from other EMT employees who offered to put together an emergency response team into their workplace. I believe the Holy Spirit was on fire with compassion in this call center in the past 48 hours healing during this traumatic moment.

Yet, in our 9/11 moments of daily life, we might be thinking: Why is this happening to me? or I just can’t handle this any longer, or God, where are you, I desperately need you? or Where was God on September 11?

There are many stories of suffering in the Scriptures for a reason. Through them, we can gain a glimmer of insight into dealing with our own sufferings. What can we learn about their sorrows and about our own? Through the storms of life and through any difficult situation let us learn that: some saints learn to hate, some saints learn to wonder and some saints learn to wait. I wonder where you might find yourself in these three statements?

Where was God September 11, 2001? Where was God in the past 48 hours? Yes, God is with you right now....where you are!! Now, that might not change the situation, but I know personally, that it changes my attitude toward any difficulty....the lost.....the job situation.....the marriage.....the relationship.....the raising of a difficult child....the lack of strength.....you name your critical incident…your trauma.

The Lord prays for us as we reflect: “Even though I walk through a dark valley, I fear no harm for you are at my side; your rod and your staff give me courage.” (Psalm 23:4).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who desperately need you now! You are aware of the trauma we face at this very moment. In fact I believe that You are thinking about us right now. I pray you bring comfort and peace in a very special way from your keyboard in heaven to theirs. Assure them that they are not alone and assure them of your love in the situation. Please grant your peace and may their soul be calm through the storms of life.