Forgive Yourself

I have encountered a lot of broken souls in my counseling vocation. Addicts, abusers, runaways, homeless, incarcerated, paroled and more. I’ve spoken with the haunted and angry, as well as the broken and defeated. So many sad and empty eyes that once shined with hope and promise.

If there are any cracks in your protective emotional armor, this mass of tragic humanity can break your heart. So many people carrying huge emotional burdens. They’re seemingly unable to break through their pain and truly live again.

There are no neat and tidy solutions that fit every injured spirit, but there is one thing we all must do if we want a better life. If you can allow yourself to do this, you will free yourself to begin living anew. You will create a path to personal growth, better habits and greater fulfillment. What is this healing thing? Forgive yourself.

A dad just left my office who shared that he used cocaine for eleven years before he stopped using drugs. However, decades later his adult sons continue to blame dad for their problems today. This dad gets lonely without his family and wishes that his sons would visit or call him more often. Regretfully, while he has stopped using, his sons are all using drugs today.

A message about forgiving yourself can be the solution for not walking around in shame. Whether you are a person of faith or not, this message of forgiving yourself is important. 

Perhaps you are an alcoholic or drug user who has hurt many people in your life. Maybe you chose not to have the baby and are conflicted with the decision. Perhaps you weren’t really there for your children. Whatever it is, forgive yourself. You are not perfect, none of us are. The sins of our past don’t define who we choose to be today and who we will be in the future. Acknowledge that you stumbled. You blew it. You hurt people. Scars and bad blood and a lot of carnage may have been left in your wake. You may have to pay some dues, make things as right as you can, apologize to those hurt. Some will never forgive you. But in the end, you have to forgive yourself. You have to unshackle that burden. Allow for the statute of limitations on past transgressions to end. I know, you don’t think you deserve it. You don’t think you can. But you’re wrong. It really is possible to forgive yourself. And then move on. Why? Because a better life requires this.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are still shackled with guilt about their poor judgment in the past. Our Lord comes to those who have the faith to realize that we are not perfect but can count on God’s mercy. Bring comfort to those hearts that have been hurt by our selfish attitudes and behaviors and give healing to those who have stumbled and can count on your forgiveness. Help us all to receive the grace to forgive ourselves and move on. 

Are You Walking on Water or Sinking Like a Stone

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Let’s be honest with ourselves when we are talking about our faith. Some days you walk on water and other days you sink like a stone.  Faith invariably gives way to doubt before it again recovers its confidence, then it loses it again.

Remember the story of Peter walking on water. The story goes this way: The disciples had just witnessed a major miracle, Jesus fed more than 5000 people with five loaves of bread and two fishes. Having just witnessed a miracle, their faith was strong. Soon afterwards they get into a boat to cross a lake. Jesus is not with them. A few miles out they run into a fierce storm and begin to panic. Jesus comes walking towards them on the water. Initially they’re frightened and take him for a ghost. But he calms their fear by telling them, right from the center of the storm, that he is not just Jesus but that he is God’s very presence.

Peter is immediately buoyed up in his faith and asks Jesus to let him too walk on the water. Jesus invites him to do so and Peter gets out of the boat confidently and begins to walk on the water. But then, realizing what he was doing and the incredulous nature of it, he immediately starts to sink, cries out for help, and Jesus has to reach out and rescue him from drowning.

What we see illustrated here are two things that lie at the heart of our experience of faith, namely, that faith (literally) has its ups and downs and that it works best when we don’t confuse it with our own efforts.

Faith has its ups and downs. Our own faith works exactly like that, at times it lets us walk on water and at other times we sink like a stone. The gospel-image of Peter walking on the sea speaks for itself.

We easily get discouraged because our faith vacillates in this way. My spiritual mentor was being wheeled into surgery and he was worried, but he folded his hands and prayed: “Lord, Your will be done,” and immediately he felt a sense of peace. Faith works like that: We can walk on water only as long as we don’t think that we are doing it with our own strength.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who feel like that they are sinking like a stone. Remind them that the Spirit comes into our life with a deep secret that sometimes we know, and then not, and then we know it again.  Faith works like that, some days we walk on water, other days we sink like a stone, and then later we walk on water. 

A Glimpse of Christ

I shared the story about the Transfiguration when we encounter Jesus, who reveals a glimpse of his divinity to Peter, James and John to prepare them for the cross, which would precede his resurrection.

I believe if we are paying attention, there are many times in our life when we come to glimpse a scene of perfect beauty. Whether a sunset, a beautiful round barn, a work of art, a beautiful piece of music, a sermon made by your shepherd, or the goodness and sincerity of people, that glimpse sustains us over a long time.

In our community, Tim has been working hard for over a year and a half to get folks in the county to support the Charlotte Comfort Home. However, it can be difficult to get folks from many different regions to work together for a common cause. A tad discouraged that his committee had yet to generate time and energy and funding, he felt discouraged and ready to call it quits.

This is where he was given a glimpse of the Risen Christ who appeared not in a dazzling display of light like fireworks. Rather, it came from a person who listened and reassured this humble leader that he would join his committee and work on raising the funds to restore the parish building that would offer comfort to the dying and care for family members.

You see, this Transfiguration moment is about letting our light shine before others. That is exactly what Tim found in the voice of his friend. We let the light shine when we live our lives as “other Christs.” 

To be “other Christs,” we need to reflect Christ to others by loving God, neighbor, and self – to follow the heart of our faith, the triple-love message  of Jesus Christ.  We do this when we forgive our enemies, give drink to the thirsty, feed the hungry, console the sorrowful, instruct those searching for a purpose, care for the dying, visit those in our hospitals, nursing homes and prisons.

It’s four o'clock on a Sunday afternoon and I just returned from church. No, I did not preach a four-hour homily. Rather, I visited the sick in two hospitals in Buffalo, extended our blessings to Bishop Peplowski at Brothers of Mercy and visited a dear friend who has multiple sclerosis and wanted to let me know that it’s time to have a little fun and set a date for dinner.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who radiate your light to those in need. Give us the grace to do better and let our shine before all in need of our helping hands.

Parable of the "Smarties"

On a recent Road Scholar trip to Acadia National Park, my friend provided treats to all the hikers during their lunch break. While people were hydrating with water and eating their sandwiches after a two-hour hike, he reached into his backpack and gave them each a treat. People were surprised and appreciated his kind gesture.

This is what the parable of the mustard seed is all about. It’s about those small acts of kindness, whatever it was, that stay in our memory. Small acts, of cruelty of kindness, leave their effect long after the effects of events of seemingly much greater importance have passed away.

 

There is, I believe, a profound lesson in this. The Kingdom of God, as Jesus assures us, is about mustard seeds, about small seemingly unimportant things, but which, in the long run, are the big things.

I have always found it ironic that we easily forget the big things, the events that seem of great importance. Who won the Nobel prize for literature two years ago? Who won the academy awards last year? Who won the Super Bowl three years ago, the World Series last year, the Stanley Cup this year? It’s funny how quickly we tend to forget these things. It is also curious what we do not forget.

We tend to forget quickly who won such or such an award, or who starred in such and such a movie or play. But we remember, and remember vividly, with all the healing and grace it brought, who was nice to us all those years ago on the playground at school or who gave us “Smarties” on top of Cadillac Mountain after a challenging three hour hike.

Falls come, winters come, springs come, summers come and go, and sometimes the only thing we can remember from a given year is some small mustard seed, of cruelty or kindness. Taking the time to cross the Canadian border to buy “Smarties” for your hiking partners was a wonderful act of kindness that will never be forgotten. So when you wake up tomorrow morning, it’s your choice what mustard seeds you want to plant.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends and thank them for all the small acts of kindness that they have given to their family and friends. I believe that God does cares a great deal about the small things we do for one another.

The Delight in Giving

BEFORE:

 

This Sunday is Trinity Sunday and more than likely many folks travelled to their cabins for the weekend. I didn’t want you to miss the following story that gives us a profound insight into the meaning of the Trinity. Simply put, God takes delight when we can provide.

Let me explain why there has been no Sonshine these past few months.

After a two-year application process, our neighbor was awarded a state grant to remodel her home both inside and out. During the construction, she lived at her sister’s mobile home, while Sue fed, watered, and scooped litters for her nine cats twice a day for five weeks.

During the remodeling process, I hauled two tons of debris out of her basement and garage. Her furniture was rotten and broken so I started a search for good condition replacements. She needed a working refrigerator and stove and my parish offered her the appliances from the rectory.

Now that’s precisely what the Spirit of Jesus is all about. She needed working appliances, the parish had the parts, so let’s give it to her. The spirit moves us to go beyond what’s expected, to be as generous as the Father has been generous to us.

Now God enjoys those moments when we can provide, like when a mother brings joy to her child, when people in our parish bring food for poor children, and donating appliances.

 We should take delight that we are able to give delight, the uniqueness of being able to give delight, the joy of giving. To do these things is to do what God does and so to feel what God feels.

This afternoon, our senior lady was taking a walk around our farm and I asked her how was her new bed. This was also donated by a local furniture store. She looked at me with a smile and looking up into heaven simply said “wonderful.” It was that twinkle in her eyes and her smile in which I saw the delight of God when we can provide for another.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who continue to be generous in giving delight to their family and neighbors. Now you know how God feels whenever you provide for another person in need. That’s the true meaning of the Trinity. Enjoy your Summer!

PS: This neighbor still needs a new hot water tank, bedroom dresser, desk, table and chairs.

AFTER:

 

Doubt and Surprise

This Sunday millions of Christians will raise their voices to share in the ancient Easter acclamation, “Christ is risen! But what if you don’t believe in resurrection, or at least aren’t sure? Perhaps you’ve been attending church for years but feel a little left out, even guilty, on Easter morning as you wonder whether Christ was really raised from the dead. Or maybe you don’t often go to church but are willing to concede doing something “spiritual” as you attend Easter service with your in-laws. Or perhaps you flat out think resurrection is fantasy, something that just couldn’t happen.

If any of these conditions describes you, it turns out you’re in good company, as this is the attitude of most folks on that first Easter morning. Notice, when the heavenly messengers first announced the news of Jesus’ resurrection, no one said, “Praise God” or “Hallelujah,” let alone, “I knew it — just like he said!” That’s right — not a single one of Jesus’ disciples at first believed the report of his resurrection. In all four-gospels, it appears that the natural response to word of the resurrection is doubt, fear, and bewilderment.

How come? For practical reasons the evangelists recognized that the resurrection is, quite literally, incredible — that is, not believable.  Resurrection isn’t simply a claim that Jesus’ body was resuscitated; it’s the claim that God entered human history and created a new reality all together. Which, quite frankly, can be frightening. After all, if the dead don’t stay dead, what can you count on?  

Second, notice that faith and doubt are closer together than we might imagine. Doubt, questions, even downright skepticism — these aren’t the opposite of faith, but an essential ingredient. Faith, after all, isn’t knowledge; rather, faith is “the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Hebrews: 11:1).

So let me share a true story to help you put aside any doubt about Easter. Her name is Maggie, a neighbor and cancer survivor. She had to mortgage her home to pay her hospital bills. At 6.5% interest on that loan, half her social security goes to pay off her debt. Over a year ago, I took her to her bank in the hope of refinancing her loan at a lower rate. Initially, the loan officer said no problem. But three months later, Maggie shared that she was denied because she had no fire insurance and she had no extra funds to pay any additional premiums.

Ten days ago on a Wednesday, I called the Refinance Dept of her bank and explained her dilemma. After four hours on the phone, she put her thumbs up in the air with a big grin. She gives me the phone and Shane, the bank customer service rep, said: “Father, we can do this!” That was an Easter moment.

The bank promised that it would refinance her loan from 6.5% to

4 % and that would reduce her debt by $100 per month. This bank listened, lowered it rates and help an impoverished senior maintain some dignity. Now that’s a resurrection moment. There is a God who cares about her people.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that Easter was a day with church family and friends to celebrate something incredibly true. Christ is Risen, Indeed!

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Finding God in a Donut

At our retreat, a participant shared that she found God in donuts. All kidding aside, her memory, as a child was a five-year-old unrefined child who didn’t think that she was anything special. She somehow found herself inside a church and she remembered watching the people eating donuts. Perhaps, it was coffee social after a morning service. She felt awkward and hungry, but nobody looked down on her or said anything to make her feel unwanted. At one point, she noticed that people were putting money into a basket for the donuts, and she felt like a “bad little girl” for taking a donut. Instead, out of nowhere, someone placed a few coins in her hand and let her put them in the basket. No nasty looks or nasty comments, so these must be God’s special angels.

Life can be messy and maybe you have memories about your past in which you felt awkward, out of place, someone who didn’t belong, or worse you had no one in your life that made you feel special.

One of the topics we discussed at the parish retreat was: “Life is Messy.”

For example, when a patient was told that they have cancer. You walk out of the doctor’s office and your head is just spinning, and you realize that nothing else in the world has changed. Life goes on and everyone is just going around their business, going about doing their thing. Nobody knows what you’re struggling with. Yet in reality, we’re all struggling with something. A tough childhood where no one made you feel special, or you suffered the humiliation and shame of an injustice that still haunts you in your dreams. 

It’s important that we realize that everyone’s carrying a heavy burden. It’s important that we realize everyone’s struggling with something. It’s important that we realize that everyone is fighting a hard battle. Because when we do realize that, we treat people differently. That means we surrender our tendency to judge others, to gossip, or put other people down.  

We are challenged to see one another as Christ sees us, women and men who are not perfect but in whom God has limitless love. Sometimes, we even need to see that in ourselves.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that they learn to be gentle with themselves because you got your own struggles. And give us the grace to be gentle with other people, because everybody is fighting a hard battle. Life is messy, but nobody can take your hope from you. So hold onto your hope no matter how messy life gets, and share it with everyone who crosses your path.

 

Be Happy for Lent

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It was only 5 degrees this morning when I went outside to fill the bird feeders and put warm water in the kitty bowls. You might have slept in this Sunday when your alarm clock went off in the morning, what did you do? Did you get straight out of bed, thinking it’s the First Sunday of Lent and you need to get ready to come to church and get your ashes? Or, did you roll over, and think, “I can get a few more minutes of sleep.” What just happened? You just took a few extra minutes of sleep and never got to Mass. Wrong. Resistance just kicked your butt.

Resistance is that sluggish feeling that stops us from doing the things that we know are good for us. Like, I should be coming to church every Sunday especially during Lent. It’s that sense that, “I don’t want to do that,” even though we know it’s the thing we should do. Sometimes it’s the sense that, “You know what, I’m going to do whatever I want even though I absolutely know it’s the wrong thing to do.”

Resistance is a big part of the reason why we often feel like happiness is just outside of our reach. God created each of us for happiness. You got to remember that what happened on Good Friday was designed to restore the possibility of happiness for you and me. Not only in this life, but in the next life. Because God does have this enormous desire that we experience the happiness that he created us for. And resistance absolutely gets in the way of that happiness. It gets in the way of us accomplishing our dreams. It gets in the way of us doing what we know is good for us. It gets in the way of us being the-best-version-of-ourselves. And what I want to help you discover  this Lent is that resistance is real.

So, how did you experience resistance in the last 24 hours? There will be hundreds of temptations to make excuses. You will push the idea out of coming to Mass, or fasting on Friday, or reading the bible, or donating money for the missions, or coming to the Parish Retreat or attending Holy Week services because they’re held on a Thursday or Saturday night, maybe you’ll come to Easter, just maybe, no guarantee. These are your temptations, and behind all those temptations, very often, you’re going to find resistance. What we’re talking about here, this concept of resistance, it’s real. It’s something we experience every day.

That’s really the paradox of happiness. It’s that, we know the things that make us happy, we just don’t do them. We want to be happy. In 90% of the cases, we know the things that will make us happy, but we don’t do them. Why? Resistance.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that they keep in mind that in every situation to be holy, either resistance is going to win, or you’re going to win. There’s no middle ground. So when people received ashes on their foreheads, instead of saying: “Remember you are dust and to dust you shall return.” That won’t make any of us happy, we offered this blessing prayer:

“Let go of worry and resistance and with the help of God be happy.”

Give Up Worry for Lent

Lent started for me four weeks ago when I received the news that our parish rectory suffered major water damage due to a frozen pipe. I shared with our people that I was heart broken.  For the past eighteen months, a group of dedicated volunteers have planned to restore the former convent into a hospice home. Now this parish faces another awesome challenge to discern what does Jesus want us to do with the rectory. The initial response is to dry out the damage, assess what it will take to restore the structure and decide what direction is best for the future of the parish. The possibilities can be overwhelming or depending on your perspective an exciting new opportunity.

So this morning is ash Wednesday, and let me suggest that you might want to “give up worry” for Lent.

Lesson #1: Just focus on today. Jesus says, "Do not worry about tomorrow. For tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today's trouble is enough for today." Dr. Seuss explained, "Step with care and great tact, and remember that life's a great balancing act." That said, sometimes we make it worse on ourselves. Sometimes we just make up extra stuff to worry about, like what might happen tomorrow or what could happen day after tomorrow. Dr. Seuss explains, "I've heard there are troubles of more than one kind; some come from ahead, and some come from behind. But I've brought a big bat. I'm all ready, you see; now my troubles are going to have trouble with me!"

Lesson #2: Realize that worry is a waste of time. Jesus says, "Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?" Can we? No. We can't worry a mistake away. Harsh words or actions can't be taken back. And worrying about it simply takes the focus away from what we should be doing: working to move forward and making things right. The irony is that if we stop worrying, we might be able to take some steps forward on the things we are worried about! Dr. Seuss adds, "When things start happening, don't worry, don't stew, just go right along and you'll start happening.

Lesson #3: We have no reason to worry for we are loved and worthy exactly as God designed us. Jesus taught: "Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these."

Jesus says, look, if God dresses these little flowers so beautifully, will he not even more clothe you, you of little faith? Bottom line: humans and lilies are not that different. We are both creatures molded from God's hands. We are both exquisite and perfect just as we are. Most importantly, we are loved and we are worthy. The main difference is that the lilies know it, and we don't.

Imagine this morning on this first day of Lent: the dawn is beginning to break, the skies are lightening, not quite its cloudy in western New York, the birds are beginning to chirp, and the little lily raises its beautiful face to the morning sun and says, "I feel fat. I hate what I'm wearing. Everyone hates me.” No, a lily is not going to say that. But we will. We will because we just can't trust the gift we've been given. Unlike human beings, lilies know without a doubt they are loved and worthy and beautiful exactly as they are made. There's no worry that they should be something they are not. There is no worry about where they fall short because every moment of their lives is spent living their gift--living simply as God designed them to be. As Dr. Seuss said, "Why fit in when you were born to stand out!"

Let us pray: “The Lord is my shepherd. Goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that you remind them we are your beautiful, beloved children of God. Do we not trust? Do we not have the faith that we will be cared for like the lilies of the field or the tiniest of creatures? What is the old saying? Worry or believe. You can't do both.

You Got To Be Kidding

 

It was such a nice break from the winter cold and ice. Many people skipped Mass to take in the warmth on a 50-plus degree day with sunshine. Last year, we were clearing two feet of snow from a storm. What you missed was perhaps the hardest lesson Jesus ever taught. In a nutshell, “love your enemies.”

Most of us don’t have to look very far to find someone we can’t stand; someone who never listens, and over time we grow to even hate. Our “enemies” are in our hometowns, and they’re even members of our own families. Hatred and revenge cut across all boundaries—they are tragically rooted in our nature. We all know people who have been terribly hurt by others. Where anger got out of control; where a simple innocent encounter turns into a yelling match and a shoving contest; where two family members can no longer be in the same place at the same time; where something awful was done to another person; where the one person feels like Swiss cheese when ganged up on by their fellow neighbors or co-workers, and the worst of human behavior is exposed.

Along comes Jesus who teaches that there is to be no retaliation of any kind, not even measured or proportionate. When someone harms you or tries to take advantage of you, return it with a blessing. And we are to love our neighbor. And by neighbor Jesus means our families, our friends, our fellow parishioners, the strangers, and the illegal immigrants, those we can’t bear to look at or be with. All of them. And after he has laid down all these principles, he adds one more—be holy and love like God loves.

Very few of us think of ourselves as being holy. Oh, we strive for holiness, pray for holiness, and occasionally do holy things. But to be holy, well that’s reserved for the saints. But let me help you understand what it means to be holy.  It means that we will be more compassionate; more forgiving. It means going beyond justice and standing not on rights but responsibility; it means giving more, maybe even so much that it hurts; it surrendering your need to be “right” all the time, it means letting go of your “ego”, it means walking away from confrontation even when the blame is someone else’s; it means responding in silence when to utter even a single word would be to escalate an argument; it means not having to win; not having to get the better of another in any circumstance; and it means re-thinking our basic attitudes in situation where I think I have all the answers.

You got to be kidding, Lord. Impossible you say, beyond our abilities?

Holy and Christ-like?—Yes. No doubt, this is difficult and it’s risky.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that we humbly admit that we can’t do it without your help.  Lord, help us to be holy, as you are holy. Help us to love our neighbor as you do—the stranger, the outcast, the lost, the broken, and the enemy, those close to us and those far away from us. Give us all that we need and hold us up whenever we fall short. We know that you will never give up on us as long as we keep trying.

All You Need Is Love

 

“All you need is love,” familiar lyrics from days long ago, but this Sunday takes the cake. In the front pew, Chris and Trisha have brought their baby son Ethan Christopher to be baptized. This little one was making cute sounds during the service that led me to say to the congregation, “Ethan has lots to say, maybe it was the salt.” Note, in this Catholic tradition they still use salt in the ceremony as a sign of being preserved by Christ from sin.

This was a “Childrens' Sunday Liturgy” so our young students read the scriptures followed by an invitation to bring all the kids up to the sanctuary for a story about St. Valentine. Remember, “all you need is love” so I share the tradition about St. Valentine curing a little girl of blindness and asked the children for a sign of love. A young voice said that we should give people cards and then a darling “little one” no more than three years old whispered “heart.’ She meant put a heart in the card. Not a dry eye in the congregation.

We continued with the baptism of Ethan, mom and dad, grandparents and godparents were all smiles. The kids joined me around the altar as we said our prayers, but after communion the people were in for a surprise. Gannon, our choir director, had been rehearsing a song with the children for several weeks and what did he choose: “ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE.”

After their song, Miss Molly, our religious education coordinator, shared that the children would be passing out a heart sticker to put in your shoe. So our photo shows one of the kids giving a sticker to the family of Ethan Christopher. The symbolism behind the heart sticker is that as we go about our work, we know that Jesus walks with us throughout our day and that we follow in his footsteps. Nice way to end a perfect baptism on another cold, freezing rainy day in North Java. 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who feel left out in the cold by their faith community. Sometimes the rules and regulations get in the way of the love that Jesus brought into our lives. Forgive them, whomever hurt you, and let Jesus embrace you back with open arms and a warm heart.

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BREAKING NEWS: Holy Family has NEW Facebook page. Please take a moment and join our facebook page and share your comments:

FIRST: Go to your Facebook account

SECOND: Log onto: Holy Family Parish PNCC-North Java

THIRD: Click Follow, Share etc

Let us know if you like the page and add your feedback. fr. matt

BE BOLD FOR LENT

 I saw an ad on the Internet that said: “Don’t give up chocolate for Lent.” It’s only 44 days till Lent that begins on March 1^st. Perhaps, too early to think about what you plan to give up. After all, you’re still working on breaking your New Year’s resolutions. Or, more likely you blew them off in the first week.

Giving things up might help us to have a meaningful Lent, but that’s not what Lent is really all about. Lent is about doing something—something bold to become a better husband or wife, father or mother, son or daughter, friend, a better neighbor etc.

Lent is the perfect time to form new life-giving habits and abandon old self-destructive habits. But most of us just give up chocolate. Then, when Easter arrives, we realize we really haven’t grown spiritually since the beginning of Lent.

Lent is an opportunity to examine your life, give your struggles to God, and invite him to help you become the-best-version-of-yourself.

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So the question we need to take time to reflect on before Lent begins is what do I need to change about myself in order to become the best version of myself?

What if this year you did more than just give up something during Lent? DO SOMETHING LIFE CHANGING!

I have attached the following “You Tube” presentation given by Tim Kibler. He is the founder of Charlotte Comfort Home, the hospice program that plans to renovate the abandoned St. Nicholas convent and restore the building to serve the needs of families In Wyoming County.

Please forward his presentation to everyone on your Facebook list so that more people will BE BOLD and generosity come forward to support this project.

Click forward to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaHfn1x_AIc

Gift of Our Heart

 It’s Sunday night and Susan asked me what I was doing on the computer. I was uploading email addresses that parishioners submitted on a liturgy survey. Better then that, I was reviewing the Advent survey that asked our folks to reflect on the past six weeks. Their comments focused on how much they enjoyed the children’s Nativity Play and Christmas Eve services Most important was their comments that they feel like a community where people really care about one another.

The true meaning of Christmas is in giving. We have all been given the gift of time, the gift of life. How better to show how grateful we are for those gifts than by sharing them and our resources with one another, the people of Holy Family never stop giving.

The ladies of our parish announced that they are starting their prayer and study group again and invite all the ladies of every community to come and learn about the strength and wisdom of Jesus

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The strength of the Lord is ours for the asking. Yet there are many who continue to be "sometimes up", but mostly "feel down". Many times we just "jump in" and later ask God "what the best way to follow.” True, I have done such and such, but Jesus could have done it so much better. A good scripture would be, "I can do all things as Jesus gives me power to so do." (Phil 4:13).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that we ask Jesus to forgive us when we have tried to do it by our self There is available strength and power from which to draw. Let us ask for His strength. How anxious Jesus wants to hear from us and thank Jesus for that listening ear and that powerful arm.

Christmas Traditions

I have a story about a grandmother who lives with her daughter and son-in-law and two young children. Something happened that made a lasting impression on grandma. Grandma was asked to babysit 3 month old Ben so that her daughter could have some one on one time with her 4 year old Issac. Dad was out of town for business so it was a good weekend to devote to Isaac. Grandma was sitting in their living room and she could hear her daughter getting Isaac’s piggy bank off his shelf.  She heard money clinking as she explained that they were going to the store to buy a toy for a child that may not get one from anyone else. She had him take out some money and had him put it in his pocket. A 4 year old can't really grasp what they were about to do but grandma was impressed that they are starting him out at a young age doing this. They came home from the store with this beautiful big dump truck that they would give to an unknown little boy. Of course, Isaac wanted to play with it and hear the sounds it made but her daughter stood her ground and told him he was not allowed to play with it. Grandma thought that this was a lesson that children should be taught from a very young age, to know that they must help others in need. It may have been hard for Isaac to empty his pockets at the store but non-the less he did it and hopefully it will leave an impression on him to continue doing that in future.

Two weeks ago twenty children came into this sanctuary not to sit on the knee of Santa, but St. Nicholas, the patron saint of children. They had been asked by their religion teachers to go home and empty their piggy banks to buy a toy for some poor child in Wyoming County. I did not hear if anyone got grumpy and refused to part with their gift, but on that Sunday you could see the smiles of each child as they came up to St. Nick to give him a toy to help someone they would never see. Incredible, there were over 300 toys piled on the back pew that were delivered to Angel Action. Hopefully, this example will make a lasting impression as the kids as they grow up in life. That reminds me of another story.

Ten minutes before I was getting ready to drive to church, Sue gets a phone call from Maggie our next door neighbor that she thinks Kandee her 15 year old dog had broken its leg. Sue went over to the house and shared that Kandee was hurt and could not pick up her hind end. Kandee is Maggie’s faithful friend who walks along with Maggie on our farm for the past six years. Sue made an appointment with the vet but asked him if I could help put the dog in the car since he weighed over 50 pounds.

On Monday, Sue drove Kandee and Maggie to the vet. Later that morning, I get a call at the office that Kandee had to be put down. The X-rays showed a severe break in the hip and the other leg was also severely damaged. Tears fell from Maggie’s eyes because this dog was her best friend. Maggie was crying and could not be in the exam room, so Sue told Maggie that she would stay with Kandee so he would not be alone. Interruptions always come when we are busy but the decisions we make to help other in needs gives us peace of mind knowing that God is using us to bring His love to those in need. Helping people at the end of their life is what’s taking place next door. The former St. Nicholas convent is taking on a new life after being abandoned for decades. A group of enthusiastic volunteers from this county plan to renovate the convent and make it into the Charlotte Comfort Home, a hospice home for the dying and their families. All will be welcomed to use this free service. Patients don’t have to be Catholic. Anyone from any village or town will be welcomed. The mission of these volunteers is to bring the comfort and compassion of Christ to patients who are dying with hope and dignity. My final story is about this manger in front of the altar. I like you to focus on something you might never have thought about.

The first people to experience the coming of the savior were shepherds, those lowly, uneducated ones who lived among the animals. In our jargon, the misfits of today who might include the divorced, elderly, widows, children, migrants, the poor, physically and emotionally challenged, addicted, gay and anyone demeaned and rejected by society, family, sadly even the church.

Last Sunday, in this sanctuary your children put on a Nativity play. It’s playing on You Tube over the Internet and a wonderful story was published in the Batavia News on Wednesday. One scene that was special for me occurred when Joseph pulled out a blanket for Mary to lay down on to make her comfortable. I never read that in the Scripture, but it showed the compassion of this man for a young girl who already suffered shame for being an unwed woman. So when the angels came to the shepherds and God came into the world born in a feeding trough, we need to realize that Christ came first as Lord and Redeemer to anyone who has feel abandoned and misunderstood.

We are challenged at Christmas to do what Jesus and the angels did: bring the good news of redemption to the outcast and the lowly. The “tidings of great joy (are) to be shared by the whole people,” and no one is to be left out, not even the most hopeless or despicable person.

Christmas means living a life that allows your needs, and your desires, and your talents to all live in harmony. Where you spend your days doing the things that we have a God-given talent for. We are filled with a passion for life. I like to call that, “living in the zone.” The zone that God intends you to be in. God wants us to be alive and thriving, and joyful, and happy. There are many traditions that keep us busy during this season. You made your cookies, cut and decorated your tree, hung the lights, planned your dinner and now you have come tonight to this Christmas Mass.

What people have discovered at Holy Family is that their God-given talents are best used to better this community. It might be visiting the sick in a hospital, or bringing communion to a neighbor, it could be teaching our little ones about Jesus or preparing teens for Confirmation. During Advent, while the kids donated toys, their parents and parishioners donated over 300 gifts to help three poor families in Wyoming County buying socks and underwear. Or, it could be decorating the sanctuary, baking cookies for our social gatherings after Mass, sewing costumes for the children’s Nativity Pageant, or helping to renovate the convent for its future mission. Believe me, Holy Family is not short on using our God given talents to make his presence known. And what do you get in return, not another sweater or chia pet, a power tool or gas grill, maybe a new pony would be nice, but the feeling that God has chosen you to make this a better community, that you are living in the zone, the zone that God intends you to be.

If you ask anyone, what they want out of Christmas, simply put it’s to feel joy with the people that they love. That’s it. I want to have great joy and happiness with my friends, and my family, and my wife, and my children.

The surest way to happiness, is for me to become the-best-version-of-myself. When I strive to be the best dad, and the best husband, the best son, the best brother, the best neighbor, and the best friend that I could possibly be, I don’t have to go chasing after happiness. Happiness finds me. If you want to choose happiness this Christmas, choose to be the-best-version-of-yourself.

Scripture says: Mary gave birth to her first-born and wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger. Christmas is a time to eat and celebrate, but it is also a time when we should realize more deeply that our vocation, like that of Jesus, is to let ourselves be eaten, as Christ’s flesh which is food for the life of the world.

Another tradition comes from a mother who used to set out a little manger for her kids and ask them to place a little piece of straw in it every time they made some small sacrifice: “To make a bed for the baby Jesus.” That’s not bad piety, it’s good theology!

Finally, one tradition you might want to add this year is when you exchange gifts, take 2 or 3 minutes, to say to the other person that you’re giving the gift to, what it is about them that you love, what’s special, and honor them for who they are. Everybody has something that they deserve to be honored for, and everybody needs to be told that they’re loved. Not only does it give you an opportunity to express your love for that person—to tell them why you love them and what’s so special about them—but it slows down Christmas morning and makes it much more about our relationship with Jesus and our relationship with each other. It’s a way for you to focus on the person instead of the gift.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends in gratitude for their support and prayers throughout the years. May the Lord bless you and your family, and give you much happiness and joy with all your loved ones during the Christmas Season.