You know, I have to tell you about something that happened just this week.
On Monday, my good friend Fr. Erick drove us to Sedona, Arizona so I could take
a few landscape pictures to add to my portfolio. We had just completed 9
services for the Feast of Guadalupe – what a wonderful, prayerful experience
with his beautiful Hispanic community. Now it was our time to relax and hit the
road.
In advance of our trip, I contacted the park rangers for suggestions on the
best photo site locations. We needed directions because we only had 24 hours
and my goal was to find the best sunrise and sunset locations. To our rescue
comes angel Kimberly. Kimberly is a US park ranger and she knew exactly where
we needed to be throughout our journey. We needed a sign, some guidance to be
at the right place at the right moment.
And that got me thinking – how often do we ask God to give us a sign? When
we reflect on that question, it probably happens more often than we might
initially think. "God, what am I supposed to do with my life?"
"Lord, is this the person I'm meant to be with?" "Should I go
there and do this?" "Jesus, give me a sign that you love me" –
and that one's usually followed with a suggestion on how He might do that.
It's understandable, really. We're told that God loves us. That He answers
every one of our prayers. So in a way, we admit that maybe we're a little
dense. Perhaps we might have missed that answer or not clearly understood His
plan when things aren't going the way we think they should. So we want some
clarity, some understanding, some reason brought into whatever situation it is
we find ourselves in. We look for more clues, more evidence of God's presence,
His activity in our lives. We ask for a sign.
Now, in today's Gospel, we know that both Mary and Joseph had an angel tell
them and explain to them how Mary was going to become the mother of Jesus even
though Mary and Joseph had been betrothed but not had relations with one
another. But there's a detail about this that kind of fascinates me.
Mary had an angelic visitor greeting her one day in her home in Nazareth.
She had this dialogue with the angel and a further confirmation of this
wondrous news with the incredible and miraculous announcement that her elderly
relative Elizabeth was pregnant with John the Baptist.
Joseph has an angelic visitor too, but the angel comes to him in a dream.
And here's what's interesting – the angel comes not to announce glad tidings to
him as the angel does for Mary. The angel comes in response to Joseph being in
a difficult spot. He's at a loss, perhaps sad, confused, angry even, or most
likely feeling unworthy.
Matthew tells us that Joseph knew that Mary was "found with child
through the Holy Spirit." There's no reason to believe that Joseph didn't
believe that. He loved Mary and already knew how beautiful she was, interiorly.
But after Mary tells Joseph about her encounter with the angel, the scriptures
kind of just matter-of-factly tell us that Joseph was planning on divorcing her
quietly.
The more you reflect on it and dig into this, you realize that Joseph must
have been filled with self-doubt and unworthiness. Because Mary and Joseph were
betrothed, but not living together. In ancient Judaism, betrothal was more than
just what we would understand as engagement. Betrothal was the time when the
couple was already legally married but before they lived together. It was a
sacred time of transition. From the betrothal on, they could only be separated
by death or divorce – which wasn't very accepted in ancient times.
We read: "Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man, yet
unwilling to expose her to shame, decided to divorce her quietly." Joseph,
not believing he was even worthy to be Mary's husband at this point and wanting
in a sense to free her of being attached to him, doesn't know what to do. It's
not good. Divorce is not a good answer – but Joseph doesn't know what else to
do. As much as Joseph loves Mary, he thinks this is the only viable plan. Being
a righteous man, he would've prayed to God for guidance, looking for some sign
that he was correct.
This is what this Gospel story is really about. God was unwilling to let
Joseph move on through life believing lies about himself, of somehow being
unworthy. God the Father sends an angel to Joseph in his sleep. In Joseph's
dreams, God the Father invites Joseph to let go of self-doubt, to reject the
voices of the devil speaking words of fear, and instead to dream His dream.
Dream His dream of being a father to His Son Jesus – not just in a spiritual
but a real way. Dream His dream of taking Mary, full of Grace, as his wife into
his home, truly as his to love, honor, cherish, and protect all the days of his
life.
St. Joseph has taught me a few beautiful lessons with this – lessons that
have helped shape my understanding of God and I think are really important for
each of us when we have our moments of asking for a sign.
First is that we have to be open to how the Lord wants to speak to us. Just
because your betrothed gets an angel popping by the house one afternoon doesn't
mean that's how God is going to "visit" you. But for us, we always
have to remember that God the Father – He who made us, who knows us so
intimately that scripture tells us He knows the exact number of hairs on our
heads – He knows how best to speak to us. So I can't let jealousy or envy that
God speaks and works differently in one person's life compared to mine enter
in. Because if I do that, more likely I'm going to miss how God is speaking to
me.
The second thing is to trust God. Trust His plan. Trust His plan that has
been at work outside of our human time and human expectations. Trust He has
always and is always at work – but that He wants that to be done not
"to" us but with us. He wants to work with us.
This brings me to the final point or the final lesson that St. Joseph
teaches us. We have to be connected to the Lord in our everyday lives so that
we can know how to see Him, hear Him, and encounter Him in those bigger moments
when we are crying out for signs. Joseph had to have been a man of great faith,
and trust, and prayer. He had to already have been a man in a relationship with
God to have been able to appreciate and accept this "dream." Had he
not, it would've been easy to dismiss it as a crazy dream. Because Joseph knew
the Lord already, he was able to hear Him speaking to Joseph in this difficult
hour. He was able to trust God's plan was greater than his plans. He was able
to get up and follow what it was God was inviting him into – and experience the
truth of those promises.
Let me tell you how this played out in Sedona. Angel Kimberly had us visit
13 sites. My ultimate goal or "dream shot" was to take a reflection
of Cathedral Rock that I saw on the internet. The only problem was that I was
on the wrong side of Oak Creek. I told this to Kimberly and she recommended I
drive to Baldwin Trail. So I hiked for an hour along the trail and when I
finally found the creek, I again was on the wrong side and it was impossible to
get a reflection of Cathedral Rock. Disappointed and exhausted, I started
walking back along the trail and got lost.
However, I discovered an area with long rocky deep crevices filled with
puddles of water. I walked around and noticed a reflection of Cathedral Rock in
the water. This was the "dream shot" that I had been searching for,
though not as awesome as the one online.
Then hiking back to the car, Fr. Erick
suggested that we drive back to Airport Mesa for a sunset shot. I thought we
were miles away, but Fr. Erick was my angel – in eight minutes I found myself
standing with my tripod with 500 tourists taking pictures of an awesome sunset
over Sedona.
See, sometimes God's plan is different from what we imagined, but it's
exactly what we need. I was looking for one specific shot, but God gave me
something different – and then surprised me with something even better than I
could have planned.
So let me ask you: What signs are you looking for as answers to your prayers
right now? What fears and doubts make it difficult to sleep? What are the
things that seem impossible – the things that seem barren, lost, dead in you
right now? The things that if God himself asked you, "What do you want for
Christmas?" – not any material things that we maniacally focus on this
time of year, but the things that are deepest in our hearts right now that we
tend to have grown indifferent to, thinking they are unanswerable, impossible?
Joseph tells us to trust God. Be open and attentive to His plan and even
more to be open and attentive to the ways He is speaking to us – speaking to
our fears, our doubts, our worries; inviting us into deeper love and trust with
Him, His plans, His dreams for us; so that we too can make Christmas truly a
celebration of His birth – for each of us, and for the world once again.