My Best Friend Left for Heaven

 

With deep sadness, my best friend died suddenly of a massive heart attack last Sunday.  This afternoon, his family has asked me to celebrate his life for a funeral service. Let me share one memory of this amazing man.

 

In 2017, we traveled together on a Road Scholar trip to Acadia National Park in Maine. We began our walking tour with a group of twenty people from around the country. We hiked the trails about 5-9 miles each day. During the tour, you had free time to do your own thing. That was Ken’s opportunity to explore new adventures not in the itinerary and this would get very interesting for you never knew what he was thinking or where we would end up. So off we are driving from Acadia to Quebec for our afternoon and free evening. Ken would be the pilot and I was his navigator recommending landscape sites to stop along the way. Our destination was a lighthouse claimed to be the most photographed in the world. It is located on Campobello Island that can only be reached at low tide. 

 

It is known as the Head Harbor Lighthouse on Campobello Island. I do remember that in order to take the shot, I was crawling into the woods, being eaten alive by the mosquitoes, but my goal was a composition that included the lighthouse with the coastline in the foreground. Ken’s goal was exploring the rocky shoreline before the tide would take him out to sea.

 

Then he surprised me with this crazy idea. He wanted to find a local Canadian grocery store searching for some unique candies that could only be bought in Canada. I had no idea what he was plotting, but I got the shot of that lighthouse that he has enlarged and hung behind his desk in his office. We are now searching for a local grocery store in Quebec, nobody speaks English, but he is determined to find this candy called “Smarties” that can only be found in Canada.  

 

It's a candy like M&M, however different in that they have a coloring/sweet flavor from the coating, followed by an almost hot-chocolate-powder chocolate taste. Ken buys 20 boxes of Smarties, puts them in his backpack and we drive back over the border back to our motel for the night.

 

The following morning, we rejoin our group and we are back on the trail hiking Cadillac mountain. Our group leader stops us for lunch high above the valley where you could see the coastline below for a magnificent view. As people are getting their box lunches out of their backpacks, Ken starts passing out the Smarties boxes to all our fellow hikers. They were surprised and delighted to learn that this was a unique treat for them to enjoy. He shared the story about this candy coming from Canada, but I can only admire his desire to surprise and bring joy to our fellow hikers. Ken’s generosity and spontaneity to do these crazy acts of kindness made me smile to know such a wonderful friend. 

 

On Tuesday, I had the privilege to meet his three precious grandchildren for the first time. I knelt next to 8 year old Ryan and asked him what he enjoyed most about his grandpa. He said that he liked going to LegoLand. There were rides like the roller coaster and games to play. Did grandpa go on the roller coaster and he said sometimes. I next met Ben age 11 and asked, what do you remember about grandpa? He immediately shared that “things have to go his way and he is a man of his word. Everything has to be perfect.” Sounds like a message that tries to inspire you to be the best person you can be. The adventure he enjoyed most was going to Alleghany Park during Memorial Day weekend. Going on hikes with grand-dad in the woods most likely looking for wildlife. Well, I was pretty close, because now I am listening to Stella age 9 and her response about what she liked most about grand-dad was spot on. She remembered that “he would do things nobody else would do.” Like what?

 

She immediately shared that he would climb up this rocky, mossy mountain, something that no one else would try, but for him this was fun. And yes, she remembered going out at night into the woods because he was looking for bears. She wasn’t scared because grand-dad would protect her.

 

I asked her where do you thing grand-dad is now? She shyly said “in the sky.’” In that God moment, I replied that grand-dad is with someone very special whom he very much imitated in his time with you. He is a person we call Jesus and when we leave this earth, Jesus has a special place that we call heaven. Just like grand-dad liked to wander and explore in the woods and take you to new places like Yellowstone and Zion National Park, Jesus has always been a close friend of grandpa and now they are together exploring another beautiful place that we call paradise. Grandpa is just fine and most likely taking the angels in heaven on adventures throughout the universe.

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends and especially Ryan, Ben and Stella and all kids whose parents and grandparents have died unexpectedly. Give these children the strength and faith to know that their loved ones are in the hands of a loving God. During the service, I found Smarties from Canada and asked the grandkids to hand them out to everyone who attended the service in memory of their grandfather. I am still in disbelief and miss my hockey buddy and pilot very much. Give him peace Lord.

 

 

Jesus Lost the Popular Vote

 

In the gospel for the Feast of Christ the King, Jesus tells Pilate he’s come to bear witness to the truth, and I can just imagine the look on the Pilate’s face.

 

Can’t you see this cynical politician listening to this silly, pathetic Jewish rabbi whom, he’s told, is claiming to be a king? Pilate must’ve been shaking his head and asking himself, “What are these Jews wasting my time with now? Look at this dirty peasant standing here! This guy couldn’t rule over a room full of toddlers let alone rule this nation of relentlessly rebellious, superstitious barbarians. What’s all this jazz about a kingdom not of this world? The kingdom of this world is the only one that counts. And he claims he’s come to tell the truth? This crazy fool doesn’t know what truth is.”

 

If you’re Pontius Pilate, truth is whatever the Emperor Tiberius says it is. That’s how you get along. If the emperor says the Jews are better off under Roman occupation, then that’s the truth. Rome builds roads and aqueducts and provides soldiers for protection. That’s the truth. Anyone who disagrees and wants self-determination is a criminal and will have a date with a cross. That’s the truth. If the emperor says he’s divine and should be worshiped as a god, that’s the truth.

 

King, emperor, sultan, calif, whatever. There’s only one way royal power works—by declaring how things are going to be and demanding that everyone goes along with that declaration. Power demands obedience.

 

Strangely, we humans always seem to be attracted to that idea.

Just to throw the troublesome Jews a little bone, Pilate gave them a gift at the Passover. They could pick one condemned criminal to be set free, and he gave them the choice between Barabbas, a bandit and insurrectionist, and Jesus. But the folks who sang “Hosanna!” the previous Sunday cheered louder on Friday for the man who wanted to take control by violent overthrow than for the one who came preaching love of enemies and forgiveness. Jesus lost the popular vote.

 

We get what we ask for, and we pay the consequences. There are myriad examples throughout history, from ancient Rome to our present day, of people being enamored of earthly power and praying for some super mortal to come along and lead them to glory and dominion. That’s what Jesus’ disciples wanted from him right up to the moment he was nailed to the cross. But glory, power, and dominion as the world sees them are false gods.

 

Unfortunately, there are still those—especially here in the United Sates—who misunderstand that power. They’d love to turn America into a “Christian nation,” but they forget Christ’s kingdom is not the political or social structures of this world.

 

Christ the King does not mean that Christians rule. It means that we are to be ruled. We are to submit ourselves lovingly to the service of one another. It means we are to practice kindness and be true neighbors. We are to listen to one another. We are to refrain from judgment because judgment belongs to God alone. We are to proclaim a non-judgmental compassion for those in need, and we are to assist the needy whenever and however we can.

 

You almost have to feel sorry for old Pontius Pilate. He put his faith in earthly power and, for the sake of maintaining it, he was willing to overlook the truth that the man who stood accused before him was guilty of nothing but loving, healing, teaching, accepting, and forgiving people. For the sake of imperial control, he condemned a man he knew to be innocent. Where is the truth in that?

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are living in a time when we have some serious disagreements about what is true and what is right. Our only response is to be honest with ourselves and keep asking: what would our King have us do?

 

Are You Happy?

 

“Are you happy?” How would you answer that honestly?

 

My suspicion is that, for most of us, this would be a painful question which, given our fantasy of what happiness should be, we would tend to answer in the negative: “no, I don’t think I’m happy. I would like to be, but there are too many frustrations in my life which block happiness.”

 

For a Christian, there is a better question. The essential question should not be, “Am I happy”? but rather, “is my life meaningful?” That is a different question, one which can help our perspective on things.

 

What God has promised us in Christ is not, as is unfortunately so often preached and believed, a life free from pain, sickness, loneliness, oppression, and death. The preacher who tells you that you will have less pain in life if you take Jesus seriously is not in touch with the gospel. What the incarnation promises is not that Christ will do away with our pain, but that God will be with us in that pain.

 

Faith in God does not, in this world, save one from pain, misunderstanding, loneliness, and death. Faith does not offer a life free of pain. What God does promise is to be with us in that pain. That is why our Savior’s name is Emmanuel, a name which means God-is-with-us.

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The Incarnation does not provide us with a ladder by which to escape from the ambiguities of this life and scale the heights of heaven. Rather it enables us to burrow deep into the heart of the planet earth and find it shimmering with divinity.

 

For the Christian, then, the important question is not: “Am I happy?” but “Is my life meaningful?” By asking the latter question rather than the former one, I do not torture myself with some unattainable romantic ideal and, more importantly, I do not ask God to exempt me from the human condition. My life is meaningful precisely when I sense God’s presence in the midst of my suffering, sicknesses, loneliness, and pain.

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that we realize our happiness no longer depends upon never getting sick, or never getting lonely, or never being misunderstood, or never making wrong choices, or being exempt from death. Life can be frustrating and still be very meaningful. We can be lonely, sick, sorrowful about wrong choices, over-worked and unappreciated, staring old age and death in the face and still experience deep meaning. Happiness will be a by-product of that.

 

Today’s photo was a “happy moment” for me when I met a couple from London Ontario taking pictures on the shoreline and they pointed out this sunset photo taken in Coos Bay, Oregon.

 

 

We Can't Be Led Astray

 

So we easily can let ourselves be led astray. It’s so easy to give way to anger or despair and forget to seek the way of Christ.

 

There are, no doubt, some Christians who will see the recent political events of our country as part of a countdown to the end of the world. Don’t be fooled. Jesus has already told us these things will always be happening. In our most dire moments God’s will for us is still life.

 

It is easy to give way to fear and anger, and easier still to give way to despair and apathy.  Yes, the temple was destroyed and very few stones were left on stones. But what happened afterwards was the flourishing of new kinds of faith which didn’t depend on geography or architecture. Christians and Jews discovered—the real dwelling place of God—is within us.

 

We can’t be led astray. We must believe that every ending is a beginning. If every church in America were to close tomorrow, Christ would still live within the hearts of the faithful. Polling statistics and punditry to the contrary, I don’t believe the American church is dying. It is being resurrected in a new form. I just hope I live long enough to see it.

 

As we look around at this crazy world let’s not look for signs of the end. Jesus didn’t come to snatch us out of our troubles. Jesus came to walk with us and be within us through all our conflicts, doubts, fears, elections and earthquakes. Jesus wants us to know that on the other side of terrifying change there is hope and possibility. So, let’s not be led astray. Let’s continue to practice kindness.

 

My wife is attending a shower event for her niece who is expecting her first child. Most interesting, the new mom already knows she will give birth to a healthy baby girl when the time comes. She and her husband have chosen the name “Callie.” Most unusual, but the origin of Callie is from the Greek and means “beautiful.’

 

It is interesting that despite the messes of our life, the way we are feeling after the election, the doubts and fears we are stressing about. This couple has chosen life and to give this new life a home in their hearts. Yes, there will be lots of trails and fears to raise a baby girl in a society that looks down on women and treats them with disrespect. This little baby girl is born of love and the love of her parents will teach her about God’s love for all genders. Even in the worse of times, the love of God will prevail. My blessing to Caitlin and Bobby the parents of Callie that their little one brings them much joy and happiness.

A Confirmation student recently said the most remarkable thing about waiting for the end times: “We should make the world such a great place that when Jesus comes back, he’ll be happy to be here.”

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are feeling doubts or fears in our country to remember “In God We Trust.” I couldn’t agree more, Let’s practice kindness.

 

Immigrant Story

 

 

I am at the hotel desk in Mississauga, and De the manager, shows me how to connect to the Wi Fi so that I can contact an Uber driver to take us to the horse show in Toronto. Sue, my wife, started attending 60 years ago with her sisters and the family tradition continues. However, what was once a country drive through farmland is a nightmare driving in an asphalt jungle.

 

So we connect with UberX to drive to Exhibition Place in the heart of downtown to the 102^nd Toronto Horse Show. Our driver has a Mediterranean accent. Mounir shared that he left his home in Egypt when he only 18 and immigrated to Canada.

 

On our journey, he shared that he has a wife who is a dental assistant and a son named Matthew. He noted that when he got the message, my name was Matthew. I shared that the name Matthew in Hebrew means “gift from God.”  Mounir proudly old me that his son’s name is Matthew and in Arabic Matthew means “beautiful sunshine.” Literally in Arabic it means “you are the light of my life.”

 

Our guardian angels were watching over us because Mounir lives in Mississauga and most of his fares come from travelers going to Hamilton, or London, Ontario or the Toronto airport but not downtown Toronto. Fares are much more frequent avoiding the congestion of downtown traffic. Mounir shared many homeless are living along the highway in Hamilton and he has often gives them sandwiches when driving after a fare.

 

This immigrant dad works hard till 3am in the morning to avoid the congestion in traffic. However, his skills also include remodeling and installing kitchens. He likes being busy for this is how he is able to make a living and support the family.

 

His parents live in Egypt and this year he took his son and wife back to Egypt to visit his family. His son asked why spend so much money to travel back home? This dad answer was profound. Mounir told Matthew what matters most in life is not how much money you have or accumulate but it’s your family.

 

Our Uber immigrant values most is his family, his faith and being generous to the people who are in need of help. Little did I realize that this Uber ride was going to be a God moment and lesson to learn that God created us all with a purpose. We are the “light of our life and beautiful sunshine” when we bring hope, compassion and love to our homeless, widows, immigrant sisters and brothers. Listening to Mounir, our Egyptian Uber driver, was the best homily I heard in a long time.

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that we know that yes, the nuns were right again. God is watching us. However, not to scold or condemn but inspire us to be the best Christians we can be by honoring our parents, caring for our children and modeling respect for all races, creeds, gender identity, and immigrants in our world. No exceptions and no excuses. Sister says so…and she is right again!

 

 

Lose the Cape

 

I went back into my photo gallery and found a God moment when we invited the children in the parish to wear their Halloween costumes for Mass on Sunday. It reminded me of the following movie and the message of Jesus in the gospel to “lose the cape.”

 

In the movie, “The Incredibles” a family of superheroes try to save the world from destruction. In Bob Goff's book "Love Does," he writes about the superhero dad in the movie. He is an insurance claims adjustor, but he really wants to use his superhero powers. He begins drawing pictures of the superhero suits he wants to wear. Of course, all the suits he draws include capes.

 

The dad has a friend named Edna who makes superhero suits and she keeps telling him that he needs to lose the cape. She mentions how capes cause big problems for super heroes. They get caught on things like fences or jet engines. Edna is famous for saying, "No capes!" You get a lot more stuff done if you lose the cape.

 

Bob Goff thinks Jesus agrees and so do I!

 

You know what I think will draw the world to Christ? When Christians lose the cape. So many of us who follow Christ do it with a cape representing something - an issue we are against, our opinions or judgments - a cape symbolizing our denomination or political views or how we interpret Scripture. Soon we become known by our capes and not by Jesus. Our capes hide our light.

 

Another problem is that if we go around serving Jesus with capes, they eventually get snagged on something - our pride, other people's feelings, people's perceptions of Christians. Our capes get in the way.

 

Goff reminds us that Jesus never wore a cape. Jesus hardly ever talked to anyone about what he had done, the way he loved people. He just did it. And all that mattered to him was that God knew it. When we lose the cape, we don't get confused about what our purpose is, which is to love. We don't forget that it is God who is making things happen. All our energy is channeled into doing great things for God and loving the world like crazy.

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends.. Let's lose the cape as Christians and just go out and share the light and love of Jesus. When we serve Jesus without a cape, people will want to know more about Jesus. If you prefer, "Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me!" Lose the cape and let your light shine!