Every Parent

I’m the crossbearer for the Stations of the Cross. As we walk down the side aisle to the first station, Fr. Alex begins the prayer: “We adore You O Christ and we love You” and the congregation responds: “Because by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world.” Little did I realize the meaning of what we were doing? This is an ancient Catholic tradition dating to medieval times. The images along the side of the church are stations or stationary standing places depicting the passion. The pilgrim of yesterday and today is to stand before the depiction of Jesus’ way to the cross for two reasons. One is to meditate on the scene, but the other, far more important, is to enter into it. That is, to be a participate, to take on the role of some character. So let me illustrate that by asking you in your heart to journey with me along these stations. Here you are, standing at:

The Fourth station: Mary's heart was broken not only because she saw her son publicly disgraced and humiliated, going to his death as a common criminal, but most of all, that she could not help him. How gladly she would change places with him, but she was restrained by the soldiers.

Mary is “every parent” unable to save their children. Every parent who watches by the hospital bed after a car accident, every parent who has buried a child after a tragic DWI, every parent who stands helplessly watching their college son or daughter fail in school due to a lack of responsibility, too many parties, too much drugs and alcohol, every parent who knows how careless we were at their age, ignoring our “well-meaning lectures,” every parent whose unending prayers pleads with God to forgive their child whose has left the faith, every parent who listens through the tears of their son or daughter whose marriage is falling apart, every parent who hears the verdict that leads to jail time.

Mary is every parent with arms achingly outstretched because they so badly want to save their child and can’t, at least not right now. They silently offer prayers and their tears and we know in their heart that a last-minute thief is snatched to paradise because one mother or father, perhaps now long since dead, earned mercy for them.

God prays for us as we reflect: “Guard my ‘child’s’ life and rescue them; let them not be put to shame, for we take refuge in you.” (Psalm 25:20).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Parents who would gladly change places with their child when faced with danger and shame. Sweet Mary, give us courage to carry the sorrows of our children and the strength to stand at their side always with arms outstretched to offer Your mercy and love. We adore You O Christ and we love You, because by Your Holy Cross You have redeem the world.

The Holy Shadow

There is a story about a man who is so good that the angels ask God to give this kind man the gift of miracles. God wisely tells them to ask this sweetheart if that is what he would wish. So the angels visit this good man and offer him first the gift of healing by hands, then the gift of conversion of souls, and lastly the gift of virtue. The gentle soul refuses them all. The angels insist that he choose a gift or they will choose one for him. He replies, ”I ask that I may do a great deal of good without ever knowing it.” The story ends this way.

The angels were perplexed. They took counsel and resolved upon the following plan. Every time the saint’s shadow fell behind him it would have the power to cure disease, soothe pain, and comfort sorrow. As he walked, behind him his shadow made arid paths green, caused withered plants to bloom, gave clear water to dried-up brooks, fresh color to pale children, and joy to unhappy men and women. The saint simply went about his daily life diffusing virtue as the stars diffuse light and the flowers scent, without ever being aware of it. The people respecting his humility follower him silently, never speaking to him about his miracles. Soon they even forgot his name and called him “the Holy Shadow.”

It may be comforting to think of yourself as someone who may be of help in ways that we don’t even realize. Indeed, we are called upon to carry crosses that we do not want or ask for. The sick parents, the job loss, our child’s addiction, the divorce, the depression, unwanted crosses of all kinds. We get angry with God and frustrated. Often we feel forced into situations we never planned for. However, after a time of carrying this cross with Jesus, we move to understanding and from understanding to love, and from love to our salvation. Could this be our calling?

We are invited to pray for many people. Remember, praying for a person who you do not know is an example of being a holy shadow.

God prays for us as we reflect: “Because you are my help, I will sing in the shadow of your wings.” (Psalm 63:7).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends who do many wonderful things for their neighbors to bring them healing, forgiveness and peace. Wherever we walk, may our shadows be the grace that brings hope to those whose hearts and souls are in need of God’s healing touch.

Garden of Forgiveness

The “Magic in You” is the story of a flower that has taken root by a roadway at the edge of a beautiful forest. She is small in comparison to the other flowers and is teased for her insignificant stature. A Billy goat comes along and eats one of her pretty golden petals. Then a car drives by and runs over one of her leaves, leaving the flower in quite a forlorn state.

Sometimes people come into our lives with every intention of “running us over” just like the rude car. They drain us emotionally as well as spiritually and some times even financially. When they are finished, they leave us broken and distraught. How can we ever heal from such a painfully disastrous experience, especially when the perpetrators are long gone and there is no one left to confront?

People also come into our lives that make selfish decisions, like Mr. Billy goat. They give no thought to the consequences that their actions may have on the people around them. As a result we feel used, as if a part of our dignity has been violated. If we are not anchored in our worth, a variety of thoughts and emotions can wreak havoc within us. We may even wonder if the incident was actually our own fault, leading us to deeper despair.

In the little flower’s despair she begins to cry, which gains the attention of a nearby woodland fairy. The little flower sobs, “I just don’t know why I am growing here, by the side of the road, I mean. All the other flowers make fun of me. I wasn’t feeling very pretty, and I wasn’t feeling very smart….Maybe, you could wave your magic wand and make me beautiful. Then I would surely be happy.” The fairy replied, “You do not need my magic to become beautiful, or happy. You can become a happy, beautiful little flower any time you want.”

God sees the potential for good in each one of us despite the crushing blows we have suffered on the side of the road. Like the careful gardener, God comes to nourish and heal our broken spirits with the wind of hope and the peace that will bind up all our wounds. That little flower quickly learns that though her circumstances may be less than ideal, she has the power to affect the lives of other living creatures by what she can give—kindness, love, and most of all, forgiveness.

I like to encourage everyone to plant a Forgiveness Garden this spring. The healing power of nature is a perfect compliment to the healing power of forgiveness. As you plant your Garden of Forgiveness, you will help to heal your own heart and soul and body. April 2nd, 2009 is Reconciliation Day in which florists are promoting forgiveness and reconciliation by sending a “Garden Atonement” bouquet intended to reconnect and repair strained relationships. Who needs a forgiveness bouquet sent from your heart?

God prays for us as we reflect: “Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the chirping of robin is heard in our land.” (Song of Solomon 2:12).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends who have experienced the crushing blows and pains of selfishness and felt insignificant. May we turn our hearts and gardens into images of forgiveness that reflect our God’s desire to reconcile all his creatures great and small.

Looking Through Your Heart

A young woman was falling back into her old patterns of oversleeping and depression. She was going through a difficult time since her layoff in January. She was dealing with her nasty depression, financial worries, struggle with a relationship, and a sense that her life was falling apart. I suppose you could call it a wilderness experience. In the midst of it she had a kind of spiritual awakening in which she actually began to pray to God not knowing who or what God was but she was convinced to follow through on the experience with the help of others.

In her wilderness search, she asked her spiritual director for an answer to her dilemma. "I want to have a lasting experience of God," She told him. "Sometimes I feel like I understand the divinity of this world, but then I lose it because I get distracted by my petty desires and fears. I want to be with God all the time. But I don't want to be a monk, or totally give up worldly pleasures. I guess what I want to learn is how to live in this world and enjoy its delights, but also devote myself to God."

Her spiritual director said he could answer her question with a picture. He showed her a sketch he had drawn once during meditation. It was an androgynous human figure, standing up, hands clasped in prayer. But this figure had four legs, and no head. Where the head should have been, there was only wild foliage of ferns and flowers. There was a small, smiling face drawn over the heart. "To find the balance you want," he shared this image. “This is what you must become. You must keep your feet grounded so firmly on the earth that it's like you have four legs, instead of two. That way, you can stay in the world. But you must stop looking at the world through your head. You must look through your heart, instead. That way, you will know God."

I believe this is the way that Jesus lived. He had his feet firmly in the world but also looked at the world through his heart. For Jesus' purpose was God's purpose and that was to care for people, to invest his life for people, to serve people, to show the world the power of love. It should be a stronger word than "purpose." It was a "passion." This was acting on the "heart" rather than considering what was the safest and more practical way of acting according to the head. Every day of his life he chose service over self-interest.

If we are to follow the way of Jesus we have to act with the same passion. There are many roadblocks along that road. There are times that you just have to act, trusting that what you have learned of Jesus' way will be in every breath and fiber of your actions - moving beyond thought to action in faith, courage and determination. That is, keeping our feet firmly on the ground and looking at the world through the heart. That is the way that we will know God.

God prays for us as we reflect: “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.” (Psalm 28:7).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that they keep their feet firmly on the ground and not stumble on the roadblocks of life. Let the Spirit come into their hearts so that they will act with passion and trust that God is their strength and light.

We Are On The Move

I noticed my no name wristwatch was beginning to run slow that indicates time for a new battery. It was running 10 minutes slow and heaven forbid that I start late for Mass or fail to get all my work done by the end of day. We are bound by time due to deadlines, or some internal clock that says, “get your work done.” Sadly, many people are running out of time after being laid off and their severance is scheduled to run out. A few people ran out of energy before they began their job search because of chronic depression and fear. It’s moments like these that we need to recharge our battery and look to God for wisdom. The forecast for this morning is that a major snowstorm is heading up the east coast. Despite this dire prediction, we are gaining six minutes of light each day and realize that spring is truly on the way.

During Lent, Jesus is on the move, bringing with him God’s kingdom that is electrifying. Instantly crowd’s start coming to him, looking for and finding the healing that they assume will signal the arrival of the Messiah. But Jesus’ announcement of the kingdom and the good news is about far more than just individual healing from disease, and that is something that many of those who crowd around him never seem to grasp. Physical healing – however welcome - simply allows them to go back to the life they had before. What Jesus is really announcing is a whole new life, a whole new way of thinking and seeing, something he calls the kingdom of God.

At the heart of that kingdom isn’t a set of policies, some rules and regulations. At the heart of that kingdom, at the center of his message is a relationship, a relationship with God. That’s what really matters, he says. Understand that relationship right, catch a hold of it and treasure it and all the rest will follow.

Notice how the Sonshine list of prayers for our special friends has grown from a few to a few hundred. You are moved to pray for your loved ones because you know their suffering and pain. Your desire is a moment of grace to remember the beautiful story of your relationship that you have with them. So now is a good time to include them in your daily prayers.

They are your starlight friends whom you know or have known when you walked with them during their struggle and hardship. You deal with the fact that their struggles were not going to be cured like you hoped and prayed for. Despite the emotional or physical pain in the relationship, you discovered that your friend’s disabilities didn’t alter the love you have for them at all. Whatever they are going through, whatever they were capable of, or not capable of, this was your friend, and you loved them. Your prayers are like a healing salve.

It is this kind of relationship, this kind of love, a love that transcends the frailties of humanity – physical, mental, or moral – that Jesus comes to declare. Christian faith is about this relationship with God. It is about learning to trust its strength and indestructibility as we come to God to ask for healing and forgiveness. It’s about learning to live in its light as we let it shape our lives and our attitudes to those around us, who are as much beloved of God as we are.

God prays for us as we reflect: “And a highway will be there; it will be called the Way of Holiness.” (Isaiah 35:8).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends and all their living and deceased special friends that as we share in Jesus’ forty days of reflection and struggle, we hear those words that Jesus heard, “You are my beloved daughter, my beloved son; with you I am well-pleased.” Let’s ask ourselves what it might mean really, deeply to believe those words and to live by them.