We Grow By Falling Apart

The signs of the time seem to be panic and fear. Sadly, in the workplace, friends, family and co-workers after many loyal years of service are being ushered out the doors by their employers. As a survivor, you might be thinking: “when will it be my turn.”

Ancient myths teach that we grow by falling apart. They suggest a person needs to “descend into the underworld”, to live in darkness for a while, to sit in ashes so as to move to a deeper place inside of life; the mystics talk about “dark nights of the soul” as being necessary to bring about maturity.

All of these images point to the same deep truth, sometimes in order to grow we must first fall apart, go into the dark, lose our grip on what’s normal, enter into a frightening chaos, lose our everyday securities, and be carried in pain to a place where, for all kinds of reasons, we weren’t ready to go to on our own.

Why? Isn’t there a more pleasant route to maturity?

Let me share this image: The best wines have to be aged in cracked, old barrels. And so too the human soul, it mellows, takes on character, and comes to compassion only when there are real cracks, painful ones, in the body and life of the one who carries it. Our successes, bring us glory, while our pain brings us character and compassion. Pain, and sometimes only pain, serves to mellow the soul. Jesus was brought to compassion through “sweating blood in Gethsemane” and then dying a humiliating death on the cross.

But almost every instinct inside of us resists this wisdom. We don’t like living in tension, try at all costs to avoid pain, fear chaos, are ashamed of our humiliations, and panic when our old securities fall away and we are left in the dark, unsure of things. So our natural instinct is to get out of the darkness and tension as quickly as possible, before the pain has had its chance to mellow our souls, purify our hearts, bring us to a deeper level of maturity and compassion, and do its full purifying work within us.

The wisdom of the mystics tell us: When you lose your securities, when you find yourself in an emotional and a spiritual free-fall, when you are in the belly of the whale, let go, detach yourself, let the pain carry you to where it needs to take you, don’t resist, rather weep, wail, cry, and wait. Just wait. You are like a baby being weaned from its mother’s breast and forced to learn a new way of nourishing yourself. Anything you do to stop what’s happening will only delay the inevitable, the pain that must be gone through in order come to a new maturity.

Advice to anyone undergoing this kind of crisis of soul: Care rather than cure. Organize your life to support the process. You are incubating your soul, not living a heroic adventure. Arrange your life accordingly. Tone it down. Get what comforts you can, but don’t move against the process. Concentrate, reflect, pray, think, and talk about your situation seriously with trusted friends.

God prays for us as we reflect: “My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.” (Psalm 119:50).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are suffering from the lost of their jobs, their homes, their health. May they experience the comfort and compassion that comes from trusted friends who help us walk through our tears. Don’t be afraid to suffer, give the heaviness back to the weight of the earth; mountains are heavy, seas are heavy. Know that the Lord hears your cry for help and promises to bring you strength and wisdom.

Perhaps There Remains A Spark

In London, there is a house for, as they say, "fallen people". It is like a half-way house here in the states. Nevertheless, near the front door of this house is a figure of a child blowing on a dying ember. This motto appears: "Perhaps there remains a spark."

Yesterday, it was a day for hope for a nation that is struggling in many ways. At the inauguration ceremony, our new president gave a message that profoundly represents this idea of hope. Hope does not soon abandon that which does not promise well; it makes the most of "littles" and the efforts of whom I like to refer to as the “little ones,” those folks who surprise us with their creativity and generosity like the students at Newman. Hope fans the spark into flame; it reflects a rainbow against the darkest cloud; it pictures tomorrow brighter than today.

By its magic word fountains spring up in the parched desert, honey comes out of the barren rock... and the streams of difficulties parts at the feet of the advancing pilgrim.

Hope has something to offset every discouragement. It gathers the sunbeams from near and far and causes them to shine upon the pathway. It rings a bell of gladness in the dull ears of those who are struggling in the valley, weighed down by their crosses.

In going through a difficult time, one thing that will get us through is "hope"......and to believe that at "any time" things can change. This morning our president and his staff started their day with prayer at the national cathedral to ask God to bless them in their work. I would ask that you pray for wisdom for our leaders as they begin a new day. "…if any of you needs wisdom, you should ask God for it. He is generous and enjoys giving to all people, so he will give you wisdom" (James 1:5).

God prays for us as we reflect: "It is good that one should have hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord...there may yet be hope." (Lamentations 3:26,29).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine friends that the level of hope rise like a buoy in your heart. May there be a spark in you this day and may the Holy Spirit be the fan. Give wisdom and hope to our president and his staff.

Follow Your Bliss

Author Joseph Campbell often talked about "following your bliss." I heard of a bus driver in Chicago who does just that.

He sings while he drives. That’s right... sings! And I don’t mean he sings softly to himself, either. He sings so that the whole bus can hear! All day long he drives and sings.

He was once interviewed on Chicago television. He said that he is not actually a bus driver. "I’m a professional singer," he asserted. "I only drive the bus to get a captive audience every single day."

His "bliss" is not driving a bus, though that may be a source of enjoyment for some people. His bliss is singing. And the supervisors at the Chicago Transit Authority are perfectly happy about the whole arrangement. You see, people line up to ride his bus. They even let other busses pass by so they can ride with the "singing bus driver." They love it!

Here is a man who believes he knows why he was put here on earth. For him, it is to make people happy. And the more he sings, the more people he makes happy! He has found a way to align his purpose in living with his occupation. By following his bliss, he is actually living the kind of life he believes he was meant to live.

Not everybody can identify a purpose in life. But when you do, and when you pursue it, you will be living the kind of life you feel you were meant to live. And what’s more, you will be happy.

When are you happy these days? Knee deep in a snow bank, peering through the lens to capture the light and shadow makes me happy. Capturing a poinsettia bloom nestled among hundreds of other plants or witnessing the pre-dawn sun as its subtle light falls on snow covered evergreens. Then it might be arranging a Spring bouquet of flowers, or brushing Rhythm, a blind horse in one eye who helps me get my balance after another busy week.

God prays for us as we reflect: “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy…” (Psalm 30:11).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that they may be filled with many moments of joy hugging grandkids, enjoying the beauty of a winter snowfall, or sharing a table with family and friends. May our souls leap for joy as we discover your presence in all things great and small.

Wisdom Flows Like a River

It is always sad to see my neighbors put out their Christmas trees by the curb the day after Christmas. Christians realize that the season needs to dwell in our hearts all year long. So, before I put away my Christmas decorations, I thought I take a second look at some of those Christmas cards received from family and friends. Note, that a few arrive via the internet with music and dancing reindeer. Tradition has it that we simply write our names, but I will take the liberty of adding a reflection on what I know is going on with these wonderful folks.

Dear Father Matt, this is your deacon Stan and his beloved Marlene. We have continued to struggle together this past year with her miserable cancer. Stan’s writes that his beloved is a star of courage and strength through all the tests and treatments. Now the disease is in remission and this has been a year of rebuilding her strength. The gift this couple brings to the manger is gratitude and their prayer to the Christ Child is for more healing and perseverance.

Dear Father Matt, Phil tells me that his beloved Kathryn only 38 years-old died a month ago. In his darkness and grief, he shared stories of his angel who served as a nurse and worked many long hours to take care of her patients. He worried about the long hours she put in and felt so guilty that he wasn’t able to save her when she died in her sleep. This sorrowful man comes to the manger with his despair, guilt and anger and asks the Christ Child for forgiveness and assurance that his beloved is in heavenly peace.

Dear Father Matt, Mario and Santo have been waiting patiently over a year to have a baby. Tests revealed infertility and treatment began in the hope that they would have a child. Many prayers and lots of money and the news arrived that Maria is now expecting. Despite the worry and debt, this couple comes before the manager and prays to the Christ Child in thanksgiving and asks for a healthy baby.

Dear Father Matt, Joe and Pam are exhausted taking care of their darling daughters who continue to struggle with their epilepsy. Bella troubles grow more complicated with a recent MRI that suspects some serious brain abnormalities. More tests will be required and Joe is concerned since he has plans to teach overseas later this month on his Fulbright Scholarship. Pam and the kids are to join him in Prague, but this couple worries about their kids. They come anxious to the crib of the Christ Child and ask for wisdom on what best to do and God know that these two little ones have the best parents in the universe.

As I kneel before the manger, the gift that I ask for each of my friends is wisdom. Wisdom helps you to learn to decipher the unknown, and the unknown is our closet companion. So wisdom is the art of being courageous and generous with the unknown, of being able to decipher and recognize its treasures.

The Christ Child prays for us as we reflect: “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends in this New Year that they will find treasure in their pilgrimage to the manager. May their gift of faith be rewarded with the Christ’s Child’s desire to bring our hearts compassion, mercy and healing. Stay close to God and lets keep in touch.