The Shoulder

Dolores was 85 when she died in the nursing home. I had invited her two sisters, Mamie and Bea to share some stories about their feisty, kind-hearted, bowling partner. These women had been “girlfriends” throughout their lives and shared that their sister’s proudest moment was the birth of her only grandchild. This grandchild was now eight years old, and Joshua had wandered over into our conversation. I looked at Josh and asked him what he will miss most about his grandma and without hesitation he said: “her hugs and kisses.” Everyone in our circle of family gave him a look of praise and warmth to which he immediately added this comment: “you knew she meant it.” Sometimes our children can be most profound in explaining the mystery of faith. It would appear that his grandma had taught this young lad a lesson or two about the love of the Lord. In Jesus’ presence, one knew that they were accepted and loved by the arms that held you.

Yes, Josh’s dad got up in front of family and friends and he gave a wonderful, tearful tribute to his mom. At the end of the service, he wanted to play a song for the family that expressed words of hope and thanksgiving for a mom he believed rests in the arms of the angels. However, there was one moment that I witnessed that no one could see. After I offered the final blessing, I walked to the back of funeral chapel and dad put on the CD and sat in a chair in the back of the room. At that very moment, Josh walked over to the side of the chair and put his arm around the back of his dad and gently laid his head on his dad’s shoulder. I wanted my camera to capture this “sacred moment” but it will suffice that I hope you “get the picture.” His dad called his son the miracle child when he witnessed his birth in the hospital. Now, this sign of God’s love had come back to his dad to bring them both comfort and peace. This was a “stunning moment” and one I can only share with you and give God thanks.

Yesterday, I prayed for over 300 dads that were submitted online. Let me share with you this blessing prayer that you might want to keep in mind throughout the month day for all our dads.

Let us praise those fathers who have striven to balance the demands of work, marriage, and children with an honest awareness of both joy and sacrifice.

Let us praise those fathers who, lacking a good model for a father, have worked to become a good father.

Let us praise those fathers who by their own account were not always there for their children, but who continue to offer those children, now grown, their love and support.

Let us pray for those fathers who have been wounded by the neglect and hostility of their children.

Let us praise those fathers who, despite divorce, have remained in their children's lives.

Let us praise those fathers whose children are adopted, and whose love and support has offered healing.

Let us praise those fathers who, as stepfathers, freely choose the obligation of fatherhood and earned their stepchildren's love and respect.

Let us praise those fathers who have lost a child to death, and continue to hold the child in their heart.

Let us praise those men who have no children, but cherish the next generation as if they were their own.

Let us praise those men who have "fathered" us in their role as mentors and guides.

Let us praise those men who are about to become fathers; may they openly delight in their children.

And let us praise those fathers who have died, but live on in our memory and whose love continues to nurture us.

God prays for us as we reflect: “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who carry the memories of so many family and friends. May we follow the example of little Josh and offer comfort and a shoulder to all in need of your comfort and peace.

The Blessing of Being Bad

During the penitential rite, people confess for “looking down on difficult people and thinking we are better,” did you never say to yourself, "Not me," or "Don't be so picky," or "Nobody's perfect!" We pray for deliverance from, "people you can’t rely on or going our easy way,” did you say to yourself, "Get real! I have my faults, but really!

But then confessing can get into some serious stuff. “I confess to what I have done and what I have failed to do”…by being nasty and deceitful… by denying and lying ... by making excuses ... by gossiping and slandering.” Again, we might have to stretch our conscious to think when we have done these things. We may be a sinner, but the sinner whom these prayers are describing was not us. Being expected to confess things we have never done might seem unreasonable. We question the penitential prayers with their endless recital of all the ways we human beings mess up. We might turn to the person sitting next to us in church and say, "Here it is, barely 10:00 o'clock in the morning, and we're already apologizing for being bad."

Yet, I know this is a major problem for many folks who never felt welcomed at the table of the Lord. They feel that they have fallen “out of grace” or “never measured up to the standards.” Christian theology insists that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Blasting ourselves as damnable sinners somehow seems out of sync with modern psychology.

So why is it that we confess sins? Are we simply supposed to be down on ourselves? Is there something wrong with healthy self-esteem? And what does any of this have to do with God’s mercy?

Jesus ate with sinners. Jesus chose to sit at the bad table, never mind that the teachers of his day and age, the lawgivers complained about his lousy taste in dinner companions. Jesus answered, "Go and learn what this means, 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have come to call not the righteous but sinners." The righteous are too busy trying to keep the rules. But the sinners need Jesus, and know it, and cherish his company.

God prays for us as we reflect: “The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer.” (Psalm 6:9).

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends who are invited to sit at the bad table. It is here that we can experience that being bad is not a curse but a blessing. Jesus eats with sinners and that's why, on Sunday mornings, we confess our sins. We are seated at the bad table. We are saying grace. Amen.