Those Other Sheep

 

I have often wondered about those “other sheep” to whom Jesus refers in the gospel story about the “Good Shepherd.”

 

• Specifically, who are they?
• And why does Jesus make it a point to mention them at all?
  

·       And what do those ‘other sheep’ have to do with you and me?

 

And so it is I have wondered at where I have encountered those ‘other sheep’ in these past days. And I have wondered at my, and our, response to them as those whom Jesus knows and who know Jesus in return. I would offer you some possible scenarios now…

 

I was working at a trauma call in Buffalo, NY. In the factory lunchroom, there are vending machines with breakfast sandwiches, snacks and drinks. A retired man works part time for the vending company and his job is to replenish the snack food daily. This retiree shared that on Friday’s there is an expiration date on the food and he needs to pull the food off the shelves and out of the refrigerators and toss in the garbage. He feels bad because the food is good and a waste since so many people are hungry in his community. He said if he knew a church that was giving out food, he would gladly donate. I suggested that he call 211 which is a local referral center to identify food cupboards in his neighborhood where he could take the expired food and put it to good use. He thought this was a great suggestion. 

In my recent Holy Week visit to Divine Mercy in Las Vegas, there are many homeless living on the streets in Vegas. Without a doubt, these people are not necessary drug addicts or mentally ill but simply in need of people who care for sheep who do not belong.

 

I suggested to the pastor that he might ask a local restaurant chain, if they would like to offer help. They might be happy to provide the sandwiches. Our first instinct might be to say “no.” We were getting along just fine surviving at Divine Mercy, thank you. And did we want to get in the business of helping the homeless or bothering local businesses?

 

Then we might think about the Good Shepherd story. What is our mission in this church?  “Sheep who do not belong” on the streets would be a little less hungry.  And so we might sit down and worked it out a plan to feed the homeless. 

 

We might see that this as our mission. And yet, maybe it is so that as Jesus says, the ‘sheep not of this fold’ are simply ‘not yet‘ of this fold. And by partnering with anyone who would help us do good, perhaps we are exhibiting the same openness as Jesus when he says “I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice.” Perhaps in this way, we are paving the way for them to be part of it with us. Perhaps?

 

So, who is ‘of the fold’ and who ‘is not’ and who is ‘not yet’ and who is to judge? Indeed, I cannot help but wonder if Jesus just shakes his head sometimes at how we tend to draw lines between those who are ‘in’ and those who are ‘not in’ the fold.

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends and wonder what do we think his words have to do with you and me who understand ourselves as those who ‘do belong to this fold?’

 

When have you encountered these ‘other sheep?’ What will happen next?

 

 

 

 

Helping Firefighters Cope with Trauma

I served as the Catholic chaplain for 10 years at Strong Memorial Hospital. I continue to provide support to people in times of trauma. Chief Fluker asked me to make a presentation to help his first responders cope with a trauma response and there story was published by the Batavian and Batavia Daily News.

Chief Jeff Fluker, right, is joined by Bethany firefighters at the department’s fire hall. The department recently provided training to help its members deal with the potential traumas they might encounter. Courtesy of Dr. Matt Kawiak

by Matt Surtel, Batavia News Editor

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BETHANY — If you’ve spent enough time as a first responder, you’ll likely see some terrible things. Rolling up to a car accident, you might see one or more fatalities. You might respond to fatal fires or witness a neighbor’s death from a medical emergency.

 

It’s traumatic.

Those realities are why the Bethany Fire Department offered a trauma response program for its members, providing some basic training in case they ever experience the worst.

 

“Some of these guys have never seen it before,” said Chief Jeff Fluker during the recent training session. “They’ve never been through it.

 

“There’s only a very few of us ... who have been through it,” he continued, naming some of the old members. “But some of the other guys, even though they’ve been in awhile, haven’t seen it.”

 

The department recently met with Dr. Matt Kawiak, a town resident who specializes in crisis counseling. He discussed the realities of stress in first responders, along with ways to find help if needed. Trauma doesn’t need to be from a single, awful incident. It can also arise from repeated exposures to bad situations — the kind of thing firefighters, ambulance crews and police deal with regularly.

 

For the Bethany Fire Department, that’s often meant responses to “Suicide Corners,” the notorious intersection at Route 20 and Bethany Center Road that’s been the site of serious accidents for decades.

 

“Down here at Suicide Corners, there’s always something that happens and you don’t know what you’re going to get when you get there,” Fluker said. “The cars that you see, the vehicles are completely destroyed. The last one we had, (the drivers and passengers) were fine, but you look at the vehicles, they were destroyed — the front end was just taken right off the thing.”

First responders are usually able to cope, but horrific incidents, lack of processing time between events, long hours and fatigue can overwhelm even a hardened person’s ability to respond.

 

Fluker and Second Assistant Chief Jeff Wolak are experienced responders — Fluker has 33 or 34 years with the department, while Wolak has 20. They remember one particular fatal accident years ago. It was an ugly scene in which a vehicle burned and several people died.

“It was my first one and you’re just like ‘What’s going on? ‘” Fluker said. “At the time they had stress debriefers come out and they talked to you about the situation, and what happened and what you saw, and ‘How do you feel?’ and things like that.

 

“But to this day today, I can sit right here and still see it, you know?” he continued. Wolak remembers a similar accident in which he was the first to arrive and again, people were dead and scattered. He also noted the reality of placing the deceased in body bags.

“How do you deal with it?” he asked. “You do.”

 

Kawiak’s program addressed stress, trauma and the effects, both physical and emotional. Burnout, suppressed emotions and damaged relationships are among the risks.

Departments might also experience turnover among valued responders. Among other factors, 

 

Kawiak’s program addressed being able to ask for help when a responder finds himself or herself getting overwhelmed. It also gave “in the moment” tools which hopefully allow responders to function in the moment and respond later.

 

Such events can be tough for responders to discuss, Fluker said. They like to talk to personnel within a week of a traumatic response, such as a “watch-and-see” effect. That might include calling a newer member, checking in on them, and gauging their “rhythm.” If a person seems “off” or is having difficulties, they can call a trauma team to see what can be done.

“You’ve got to pay attention to everybody to see what’s going on and make sure they’re doing the best they can,” he said.

 

Fluker believes it’s an area which hasn’t really advanced over the years for first responders. And you simply don’t know who will or won’t be affected. “You can think that the biggest, toughest, hard guy out there would be the guy for it, and he could be the worst,” Fluker said.

 

“It all depends on how a person handles stress,” Wolak added. “Some people handle it and other people don’t. Training helps, but it’s not going to help when putting somebody in a body bag, or you’re trying to fight a major fire and there might be somebody in it. Like Jeff said, you never know.”

 

That’s why they invited Kawiak for his program. What is the fire department hoping to impart for its personnel? “I guess probably if they know a pre-plan, if you will, on what to expect,” Fluker said. “Nobody’s ever really prepared for it, but at least this will give them something of what to expect, and maybe after it, that there’s people out there they can talk to, to see what the aftermath is.

 

“How bad was this person traumatized after seeing it?” he continued. “That there’s somebody there who can help a little better.”

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends and keep safe all our First Responders who volunteer and risk their lives to keep us safe from harm and moments of trauma.

 

God Moment-Hugging the Cross

I have returned from my deployment serving as mentor, teacher and best friend to Fr. Erick, pastor Divine Mercy Parish in Las Vegas. I was most humbled and privileged to concelebrate at all the Holy Week and Easter Sunday services. The 200 Hispanic and Anglo families faith, courage and fortitude have not only survived financial scandal but are a community whose current leadership have helped to heal and flourish as the most dynamic Polish National Catholic Church in the world. 

Fr., Erick’s theme on the Resurrection was a question he often hears from his people: “I want to meet Jesus.” In my Easter Masses, I signed the words: “I see Jesus’ love in you.” Everyone in church young and old with smiles on their faces signed these words and experienced that the divine spark of Easter lives in each one of our hearts.

After Easter, I had planned a brief photo tour of three Nevada State Parks. Landscape photography is my opportunity to see Jesus in the stunning beauty of Our Lord’s creation.

So my first image is Shoshoon Falls taken at sunset located in Twin Pines, Idaho. It was 8pm and all the visitors had left the viewing platform and it was dark and cold. There are moments when we feel depressed and alone and God seems far away with all the struggles of life. This image taken at twilight reflects when we allow the light of God’s grace to come into our life and our troubles are transformed and we are given a new life and hope.

 

The Easter stories have the disciples lost in confusion, despair and grief. However, when Jesus appears to the apostles His message is an invitation to “stay with Him.” This is the same message the Divine Mercy families have witnessed in the past year that shouts ”we are here to stay.” My second photo is sunset at Cathedral Gorge that displays the beauty of the rock formation and reflects the beauty of your faith to stay close and follow Fr. Erick. 

 

 My third image was taken in total blackness. It is 11pm and I am standing looking up into the dark sky with a billion stars. However, I composed the photo with a rock formation in the foreground that stands for your strong faith in Jesus and one another. Sadly, many who were hurt by the past have left this church, but if you look up into the sky they will forget all those hurts and see the love of Jesus reflected in the billions of stars that represent your generosity and good works to keep Divine Mercy open to all and flourishing with this message, “Jesus is alive and walks in your midst for the spark of the divine is in each of your hearts. 

 

My fourth and final image is a moment that I will never forget. It is the Good Friday Service and the community is invited to come up to venerate the cross. We are invited to express our gratitude for Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross for our sins. With humble hearts, people walked up to the cross to kiss or touch the wood. However, one mom was bringing her children up close, when suddenly her little boy hugged the cross with all his might. 

 

Let this image of this little boy rest in your mind and heart. Take that boy’s passion back to your homes and like the apostles ask everyone you meet this week “Would you like to come to my church?” When someone asks you why simply say: “ALL ARE WELCOMED FOR JESUS IS IN YOU!!!” 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that when we look at that little boy hugging the cross it makes us humble enough to think that we have a friend in Jesus who died for our sins so that we may share in His glory.

 

We Are Easter People

 

On Good Friday, I the shared the following story. An art therapist presented a seminar on art therapy helping veterans coping with PTSD. She concluded her presentation by sharing the following poem and asked the participants to reflect on the poem and think how they wanted to be remembered at the end of their life.

 

The Dash Poem by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on the tombstone from the beginning to the end.

He noted first came the date of the birth and spoke the following date with tears. But he said what mattered most of all was the dash between the years.

For that dash represents all the time that they spent life on Earth.
And now only those who loved them know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own, the cars, the house, the cash.
What matters is how we live and love, and how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard. Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough to consider what’s true and real,
and always try to understand the way other people feel.

Be less quick to anger and show appreciation more,
and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read with your life’s actions to rehash,
would you be proud of the things they say about how you spent your dash?

I then shared stories about how I have spent my dash in my 49 years of ministry.

I shared some of my dashes on Good Friday and one I want to share with you this Easter is the following story,,,

Retirement for a priest is a myth, this Easter I travelled to Las Vegas to help Fr. Erick at Divine Mercy Parish for Holy Week services. I am meeting old friends, make new friends  and spending time talking and listening to God. I serve as the “unofficial” vocation director to Bishop Mack mentoring men who are discerning a vocation seeking to be deacons or priests. A memorable and joyful dash last year was celebrating the ordination of Fr. Erick, Divine Mercy’s pastor, with whom I am grateful to be his brother priest and good friend.

On this Easter day, I want to share another story and it begins with the  following online message:

"Used tombstone for sale." That's what the advertisement said on the Facebook page. "Used tombstone for sale." A real bargain for someone named Diego. For information, call. It seems obvious to me that Diego must have been a Christian because who else wouldn't need a tombstone? Tombstones indicate the end. You've invested yourself in life and now it's over. But the church simply isn't tombstone territory. We are Easter people, and Easter people believe death is not the end. Now the gospels were created by four different writers and different places, but they all agree on the same basic things. There's no dispute. When? Early in the morning on a Sunday. Who? Women go to the tomb. What? The stone is gone. How? Angels or there's some kind of Supernatural encounter. They discover the tomb is empty. The result? Fear and confusion. Fact? Jesus isn't there. All four gospels share these same basic seven things. It's pretty remarkable, don't you think? Four documents, nearly 2,000 years old, all with the same basic eyewitness testimony. That's strong. And that right there is the bedrock foundation of the Christian faith. We are Easter people. That means our lives are filled with holy moments. Easter people know that faith conquers fear. 

 

Easter people know where they're going. We know where we're going. I remember, as one man told me, "God's not in the business of granting wishes. He's in the business of raising the dead, not all of whom are willing." Easter means we know where we're going, as that man says. Suppose an unborn infant in the womb is able to speak and think. Suppose someone says to her, soon you must leave this place to be born. You're going to enter a different realm." The infant might protest and say, "Nah, I like it here. I'm fed. It's warm. I feel loved. I don't want to leave this place to be born." But nature takes its course and the baby is born. After she endures a slap on the bottom and good cry, she looks up into a loving face, and she's cuddled into loving arms. And soon she discovers that she can get anything she wants if she just coos or cries. 

 

So the infant says to herself, "This is nicer than I thought it would be." Childhood passes. She becomes a teenager, then an adult, and then she grows old. Her bodily parts begin to ache and to wear out. And one day, the thought of death begins to worry her and she says to herself, "I like this place. I don't want to leave. Death scares me." 

 

Nature, again, takes its course and she dies. What happens then? Jesus promises that his children will be purified and born once more. She will look into a face more beautiful than her mother's. Loving eyes look down on her and beneath her are everlasting arms. She will be born again into a Heavenly realm where there is no pain. There is no death. There is no sin. She will be home at last. In other words, we don't need tombstones. We are Easter people.

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that listening to God they hear deep in their hearts that everything is fine, no worries. We are children of God who don’t need tombstones, for we are Easter people.

 

 

 

How To Do Holy Week

 

I like to encourage you and challenge you this Holy Week to identify the most dominant question in your life right now. What question about you and your future is preoccupying your heart? It might be, Should I marry him? It may be, Should I retire? It might be, What should I study in college? It may be, How do I improve my marriage? How do I deal with the health challenge I'm facing? How do I recover from the trauma with the death of my spouse? How do I cope with the betrayal of a close friend? How do I become a better parent? How do I get my personal finances under control? Or how do I center my life spiritually? It could be a million different things. But it is only one question for you right now. What is the dominant question in your heart at this time in your life? You may know immediately what that question is. You may need to think about it. Either way, take some time today to identify that question, write it down, and place this question before God each day this week. Just keep placing this question before God.

Each time you go to church this week, in your heart and mind, place this question on the altar and listen deep in your heart for the answer God brings you. If you have trouble identifying the question, consider this. If you could have lunch with God and ask him one question about what comes next in your life, what would that question be? What would you ask him? This is just one of the many ways this Holy Week experience can be deeply personal and anything but routine.

I've had a theory that I would like your help testing this week. The theory is this: Everything that happens in your life, the big things and the small things, can be found in these eight days of Jesus' experience. And that these eight days that make up Holy Week have something to say about every human experience. Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem today has something to say about the successes and victories of your life. Whatever you're angry about, when Jesus cleanses the temple tomorrow, there is a lesson there. On Tuesday, when the woman anoints Jesus with the perfumed oil, we find every expression of gratitude and appreciation we have ever given or received.

On Wednesday, as Judas plots his betrayal, we find all our broken friendships and our own encounters with betrayal. The epic loneliness of Jesus in the garden Thursday speaks to our own loneliness, past or present. On Friday, we enter deep into the mystery of the suffering of our lives and in the world. On Saturday, when the world goes dark with Jesus dead in the tomb, we come face-to-face with emptiness. And on Sunday, the resurrection brings with it hope, new life, and celebration.

This week, take some time to sit down in a quiet place and just talk to Jesus as you would talk with a friend over coffee. The saints and mystics of every age have practiced this particular form of prayer. This conversational prayer is called mental prayer, but the name can be misleading because it is a deeply personal, intimate form of prayer in which we talk to God in our own words about whatever is on our hearts.

If you want to improve your relationship with God, if you want to take your spiritual life to the next level, talk to Him. Talk to Him. Sit down and spend some time talking to God. Trust, surrender, believe, and receive.

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that we make the time to sit quietly with our tea and coffee in hand and just listen, just listen, and know that He has us in the palm of His hand to bring us calm and peace to our lives.

 

 

Coming to Pieces

 

A tiny grain plants itself deep within the soil. It is tucked into complete darkness. It is fearless, comforted by the tough, safe shell that is its home. It belongs there, and knows it. In quiet. In growth. Home. 

 

Then the shell-shelter turns tight and invading and painful. 

 

The growing seed’s former peace is replaced by shock. Its earlier great protector is now opposing it, holding it back. Crushing it. Then, suddenly, as if planned from all eternity, the protecting shell cracks right open, letting in the outside. “Wait, wait, I need you,” shouts the seed.

Nothing doing. The shelter is going to pieces! Moisture trickles in, and bits of dank, cold soil. Anything and everything can now wriggle right into the heart of what was a quiet, pure place.

The seed goes crazy. 

 

But it copes somehow, wildly extending a new, thin arm outward, then slithering out its whole self. “Steady by jerks,” it says, through the cracks in its shell. It had to get out of there, so it dares its way into the rough, cold mud. How foolish and how shaming. Stay where safety is, you fool! 

 

But the transforming tiny self seems to take on a new life. Is this its new home now? Buried in the slippery soil? Ok, it moves with caution. 

 

Too much is in its path, including a huge, unyielding rock. A jagged, rough, uncaring rock, heedless of tiny green shoots. 

 

And so the story ends. 

 

But not yet. The former seed appears to have will power. It is seeking something—urging itself toward some pressing objective, rooting its way by intuition. Along the under-edge of the rock it goes, brutally, fearfully and with rending pain. After what seems like years it achieves the far under-edge of the gnarly rock and, guess what. 

 

It starts upward again. 

 

Now there are hard clods it has to press through, and plenty of pebbles. The higher it goes the more dry the surrounding soil. Finally, the top crust. But it too forbids penetration. It is an ultimate, intractable, stupefying barrier. 

 

And so the story ends. 

 

Except for one voice from deep within. Push, push, it murmurs. I am with you. Now just a thinnest lesion in the tough crust. With a certainty that might have been written on its heart, this vine-to-be squeezes through and gets to the place it was meant to be all along. In a haven of light and warmth, bathed in the sun’s astonishing rays. It is now a plant and it relaxes and stretches and yawns in the wafting breezes of Spring. 

 

This is just like our own journey, isn’t it? Of course, dark mud can take a chokehold on our life.

But, Jesus says, do not worry, child, trust me. “Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit” 

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that you give them the power to push through the difficulties of life so that they find your light waiting for them at the end of their journey.

 

Making Pancakes and A Change of Heart

 

Six-year-old Brandon decided one Saturday morning to fix his parents pancakes. He found a big bowl and spoon, pulled a chair to the counter, opened the cupboard and pulled out the heavy flour canister, spilling it on the floor. He scooped some of the flour into the bowl with his hands, mixed in most of a cup of milk and added some sugar, leaving a floury trail on the floor which by now had a few tracks left by his kitten. Brandon was covered with flour and getting frustrated. He wanted this to be something very good for Mom and Dad, but it was getting very bad.

He didn't know what to do next, whether to put it all into the oven or on the stove and he didn't know how the stove worked! Suddenly he saw his kitten licking from the bowl of mix and reached to push her away, knocking the egg carton to the floor. Frantically he tried to clean up this monumental mess but slipped on the eggs, getting his pajamas white and sticky.

And just then, he saw Dad standing at the door. Big crocodile tears welled up in Brandon's eyes. All he'd wanted to do was something good, but he'd made a terrible mess. He was sure a scolding was coming, maybe even a spanking. But his father just watched him. Then, walking through the mess, he picked up his crying son, hugged him and loved him, getting his own pajamas white and sticky in the process!

 

That's how God deals with us. We try to do something good in life, but it turns into a mess. Our marriage gets all sticky or we insult a friend, or we can't stand our job, or our health goes sour. Sometimes we just stand there in tears because we can't think of anything else to do. That's when God picks us up and loves us and forgives us, even though some of our mess gets all over Him.

 

What God wants from us is a change of heart, a change of direction in the course of our lives through good works. And good works do not begin overseas somewhere in Mexico or Africa or Asia, or even in some poor inner city area. Good works should begin in our own families, in our own neighborhoods and in our everyday lives. They begin with the little things-- the kind word, the encouraging pat on the back, or doing what the author of our story did, being willing to listen to someone pour out his heart. These small acts of kindness are of far more weight than an envelope in the offering plate or a prayer for a missionary overseas. How often we long to do the great things for Christ, but overlook these daily critical signs of faith that should be our way of life. 

 

Remember just because we might mess up, we can't stop trying to "make pancakes" for God or for others. Sooner or later we'll get it right, and then they'll be glad we tried...

 

Lord, I pray for all my Sonshine Friends that during Lent we look for any wounds that need to be healed, friendships that need rekindled or three words that to be said, sometimes, "I love you" that can heal and bless!