I have
encountered a lot of broken souls in my counseling vocation. Addicts, abusers,
runaways, homeless, incarcerated, paroled and more. I’ve spoken with the
haunted and angry, as well as the broken and defeated. So many sad and empty
eyes that once shined with hope and promise.
If there are any
cracks in your protective emotional armor, this mass of tragic humanity can
break your heart. So many people carrying huge emotional burdens. They’re
seemingly unable to break through their pain and truly live again.
There are no
neat and tidy solutions that fit every injured spirit, but there is one
thing we all must do if we want a better life. If you can allow yourself to do
this, you will free yourself to begin living anew. You will create a path to
personal growth, better habits and greater fulfillment. What is this healing
thing? Forgive yourself.
A dad just left
my office who shared that he used cocaine for eleven years before he stopped
using drugs. However, decades later his adult sons continue to blame dad for
their problems today. This dad gets lonely without his family and wishes that
his sons would visit or call him more often. Regretfully, while he has stopped
using, his sons are all using drugs today.
A message about
forgiving yourself can be the solution for not walking around in
shame. Whether you are a person of faith or not, this message of forgiving
yourself is important.
Perhaps you are
an alcoholic or drug user who has hurt many people in your life. Maybe you
chose not to have the baby and are conflicted with the decision. Perhaps you
weren’t really there for your children. Whatever it is, forgive yourself. You
are not perfect, none of us are. The sins of our past don’t define who we
choose to be today and who we will be in the future. Acknowledge that you
stumbled. You blew it. You hurt people. Scars and bad blood and a lot of
carnage may have been left in your wake. You may have to pay some dues, make
things as right as you can, apologize to those hurt. Some will never forgive
you. But in the end, you have to forgive yourself. You have to unshackle
that burden. Allow for the statute of limitations on past transgressions to
end. I know, you don’t think you deserve it. You don’t think you can. But
you’re wrong. It really is possible to forgive yourself. And then move
on. Why? Because a better life requires this.
Lord, I pray for
all my Sonshine Friends who are still shackled with guilt about their poor
judgment in the past. Our Lord comes to those who have the faith to realize
that we are not perfect but can count on God’s mercy. Bring comfort to those
hearts that have been hurt by our selfish attitudes and behaviors and give
healing to those who have stumbled and can count on your forgiveness. Help us
all to receive the grace to forgive ourselves and move on.
