The
gospel says: “A large crowd followed Jesus because they saw the miracles.” Well, I ask, who wouldn’t follow? You’d
be dense not to. My challenging question is, what happens when the miracles
cease? Will I follow when my young adult child is found dead after committing
suicide with drugs and all the prayers in the world aren’t pulling in the
miracle that would save this child from this miserable addiction? When my
spouse is killed while jogging in a freak in motorcycle accident and there is
no miracle resurrection. When I am in shock from a diagnosed with a terminal
illness and no miraculous cure appears? When bad things happen to good people
and there are no miracles to right the equation when in a word, there are no
miracles and no more God, at least none that I can detect, when faith is shaken
if not evaporated altogether. Will we follow then? So my question: Will we
follow Jesus when we no longer see miracles?
A
woman who lost her child at birth, and almost her faith shared her fears and
despair.
All
her faith was stripped away as she focused on one thing: the injustice that her
poor little girl didn’t have a chance to take even one breath…Even prayer
seemed so futile, even unnecessary, like throwing a glass of water on a burning
home. This mother had prayed during her entire pregnancy for the baby to be
healthy—and she was. She was perfect but she wasn’t alive, cooing in her arms.
How could this woman not feel betrayed?
In the
weeks following her little girl’s death, well-meaning friends and relatives
sent hundreds of cards and emails offering helpless words of condolence. Most
of their words said the same thing: “We cannot understand God’s will.” Those
words kept her up at night for months, she knew they were trying to help, but
every time the issue of God’s will sprang up, she felt miserable. It got to the
point where she couldn’t even numbly smile or nod anymore when the phase came
up; she just clenched her teeth to keep from saying something she regret. She
certainly was not going to tell a priest in confession that she was sorry for
being angry with God. The truth was that she was furious with God.
Finally
exhausted, this woman who had lost her child and almost her faith told her
friends. Some may wonder why after this experience, she made the painful effort
to believe, she could only respond that, despite her doubts and resentments,
having seen the breathtaking perfection of her daughter’s peaceful face, it was
impossible to think God was not there.” Somehow, beyond the miracle that never
came, she sensed Someone.
So the
miracle with baskets of leftover fish and bread poses the question: Will we
follow Jesus when the miracles stop? When our daughter dies, when our son is
killed? Will we, like the woman
who lost her child, see the absent miracle as an invitation to seek the
miracle-worker himself? Will we consider the possibility that, when all is said
and done, after the shock is over and the tears are dried, we ourselves become
the miracle?
Immanuel
prays for us as we reflect:” Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are
God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” (Psalm 25:6).
Lord,
I pray for all my Sunshine Friends who are challenged to love you for who you
are rather than for the free bread you can give us. Help us to focus on the
real miracle, that we are called to be the compassion and presence of God in
times of sorrow and pain.
